Damaged Desires: A Frenemy, Military Romance

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Damaged Desires: A Frenemy, Military Romance Page 36

by LJ Evans


  My lips quirked, but I was worried that this was my brother’s doing. I sat up, forcing his hands away from me so I wouldn’t be distracted by his touch.

  “This is because of Mac’s little speech in the car?”

  “No,” he said, shaking his head. “Ever since I came back from Africa…” He swallowed hard and looked at the ceiling and then back into my eyes. “Ever since Darren died, I’ve been floundering, trying to force myself back on to a SEAL team that no longer felt like home. I thought the SEALs were the only place I could find it. A home. But I think that was because I didn’t know there was any other place waiting for me.”

  “Wellsley Place?” I asked, surprised.

  “You. You’re my home first and foremost. But I can see a life for us with Carson and Maribelle on the estate.”

  “You want me to move in with you? In Georgia?”

  “Is there something wrong with that?” he asked, the smile on his face growing.

  “I just. We just―”

  He cut me off with a kiss. “I love you. Everything else would just be a fucking waste of time. For you and for me. I want you there, and if I have to fucking stand like a pretend bodyguard every time you go on tour with Brady, then I’ll do that, too. I don’t want to spend any moment of our life without you.”

  He was winning. Not just our little I-love-you challenge, but every single part of my heart and soul and life. Winning over any arguments that I had against what he was saying he was giving up. For me, but also for himself. Returning to a home that had left him wounded but was now ready to wash away those scars.

  I feathered my hand over the chess piece on his chest. The tattoo and the scar were blending together. His childhood blending into his past and becoming his future once again.

  “I love you, too,” I said, causing both our lips to quirk, but then I settled serious eyes on his face. “Are you sure you’re really ready to give it all up? Being a SEAL. The Navy.”

  “For something greater, yes,” he said, as if he was pledging to me the same pledge he’d made when he’d taken his oath as a SEAL.

  And my heart pounded out a reverberating answer.

  For Something Greater…

  Nash

  LOVER

  “This is our place, we make the rules.

  And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear.

  Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?”

  Performed by Taylor Swift

  Written by Taylor Swift

  The tree in the entryway of Wellsley Place was so tall it reached the ceiling of the second floor where cherubs danced with toga-clad gods and goddesses. I grabbed the last remaining presents and hurried back to my goddess in the parlor, sitting with our families by a much smaller tree near the fireplace in the much friendlier room.

  The parlor’s tree sparkled with all things lemon, both scents and ornaments filling the air. A tradition I’d forgotten in the years I’d refused to come home. The Wellsley Place signature scent had existed since Nathaniel Wellsley first created perfumes in a time of strife for our country. I briefly wondered what he would think if he could see the room now, full of Union supporters and even a Russian.

  Dani’s family had traveled down to Thomasville for Christmas, including Georgie’s sister, Raisa, who’d been spending the holidays with the Whittakers over the last couple of years. Them coming to us had been a gift I didn’t take lightly. It had meant I didn’t have to miss another Christmas with Carson and Maribelle. Even though the holidays I’d missed before had been all my fault, I hadn’t wanted to miss one more. I would have, if needed, because I would always follow where Dani went, but I was grateful we’d all been able to come together here.

  I had to sidestep Dani’s two nephews and niece as they chased the puppy who was delighted at having their attention. My heart skipped a beat as I watched the gift Dani had given me evade three pairs of hands. The Great Dane would never take Baker’s place, but she might start healing old wounds just like Carson and I were attempting to heal the ones between us. The dog finally got tired and slid beneath a pile of discarded paper and bows to land with her head in Dani’s lap. I couldn’t blame her. I wanted to do the same damn thing.

  The presents exchanged that morning had been thoughtful but small. Nothing overly extravagant, which was the exact Whittaker fashion. The dog had probably been the most outlandish thing. I’d spent a long time debating what to get Dani. After thinking of and rejecting every normal gift that a man might give a woman he loved, I’d finally stumbled on the right answer one night when we’d been tangled together, skin on skin. Her hands had found their way to the tattoo that sat near my blood wings scar, as they often did. And that was when I’d known.

  I set the thin, flat box in her lap, and she looked from it to me with a small frown.

  It was small enough that it could be jewelry―which had been the present that had lingered in my brain the longest before coming up with this one―but I think she knew me well enough to know I wasn’t going to propose to her in front of a crowd. When I proposed, it would be her and me and our bodies and lips and the I love yous that we were still counting six weeks later, as if we’d never said the game was supposed to only last twenty-four hours.

  I sat on the floor next to her as she turned it over in her hands. “I love you. Merry Christmas, Goddess.”

  “I love you, Otter. What did you do?”

  Mac groaned, along with nephews Sam and Troy, who had all been pretending to be grossed out every time Dani and I murmured our words to each other.

  I shrugged. She unwrapped the present slowly, lifting the lid off the gift box, and stared at the certificate for a few seconds, reading it, trying to let it settle into her brain. And then she was up, hugging me, kissing me gently.

  “You remembered,” she said quietly.

  I nodded. “The appointment is for after everyone is gone. You have time to decide what you want.”

  “What is it?” Georgie asked.

  “A certificate for a tattoo,” Dani said, and I saw the way her mom and her grandmother exchanged a look, but I didn’t care, and I was sure Dani didn’t either. She was like all the Whittakers: strong, independent, smart, competitive. But she also had an edge that none of the others had. A piece of her that stood out as different. The piece of her that had called to me the very first time Mac had introduced us.

  “What are you going to get?” Gabi asked.

  “I’m not sure,” she said, but I already knew. She’d drawn the rough sketch weeks ago. A baby tree growing from the burnt remains of a forest. She leaned in and whispered to me, “From the ashes, there’s life.”

  All I could do was concentrate on not showing exactly how much her whispering in my ear turned me on in a room full of her family. It wouldn’t matter the words, but the ones she’d chosen only exacerbated the problem. Because she’d told me the tree was both of us. Survivors. Having lived through the fire to be reborn. My body responded to all of it. Her words. Her whispers. She knew exactly what she’d done, because her lips quirked in that delightfully mischievous way I’d come to adore.

  I kissed her cheek and whispered back, “You’ll pay for that later.”

  She met my eyes. “Challenge accepted.”

  I coughed, turned away adjusting myself, and then picked up the last large gift which had been waiting by the tree.

  “What’s that one? Is it for me?” Dani’s little china doll of a niece asked.

  “No, this one is for Nash,” Dani told her.

  “You already got me something,” I said, rubbing a hand over the puppy’s smooth fur.

  “This one isn’t from me,” she said.

  I looked at the tag, and my heart stalled. It was from Tristan, Hannah, and Molly. The three females who I was still responsible for. Tristan had not returned from New York to Delaware. She’d given up the rental by the ocean completely, moving her things to her grandmother’s house ups
tate. We talked almost daily. Things were better with us. Back to a friendship embedded with a sibling love that would never disappear. We’d been seared together by loss, and that wasn’t going to change.

  I realized, before even opening it, that it was a frame. Tristan had sent me a painting, and my heart pattered a little as I wondered if it was the one that came immediately to mind. I tore the paper away, pulled apart the box that had been stapled shut, and slid out the portrait.

  Dani stared back at me from the canvas.

  It was not the painting Tristan had started originally, or if it was, she’d done a lot to change it. Because this wasn’t a straight portrait. Instead, it was a Dani with wings, a helmet in one hand, an owl perched on the other, and a delicate diadem with a jewel on her forehead. A goddess literally glowing with the same life force that burst from my Dani every day. It was stunning, not only because of Tristan’s talented brush strokes, but because she’d captured every single thing she’d missed in the image of Dani she’d started months ago.

  “Ooh, let’s see,” Bee asked, and I slowly turned it to face the room.

  As the room burst into noise, I saw a small card tucked into the framework on the back. I removed it, reading Tristan’s softly curved writing:

  Dear Nash,

  You said you didn’t have the words to tell me what was missing, but you found it all by yourself. You were missing the love she was already showing you before either of you knew it. The love I recognized but couldn’t put in the painting because it hurt too much at the time. But seeing the two of you at Thanksgiving…it was glowing around you both. I tried to capture it for you so you’ll never lose your way again. So the light she shines will always direct you home.

  With love,

  Tristan

  My eyes filled with tears that I couldn’t hold back. I handed Dani the card and took off for the kitchen. I didn’t have to wait long before Dani found me, trailed by a sleepy puppy. She wrapped me in her arms.

  I’d never be able to forget the one mission I’d lost. The one that cost me my best friend and Tristan her soulmate. But I had a different mission now. Not only Dani, but my position here at Wellsley Place. Softer callings. Things that didn’t leave as many nightmares piling up at the doorway when I entered my dreams each night.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  I nodded. “I’d told her the portrait wasn’t right, but I couldn’t explain to her why. I knew something was missing because I’d spent every second I was with you studying you with a sniper’s focus, with the intuition we use that keeps us alive. But even with all that training, I still missed it.”

  “Missed what?”

  “The love. It had been so long since I’d allowed myself to see it reflecting in anyone’s eyes that I didn’t recognize it for what it was.”

  Dani smiled at me and said softly, “That doesn’t count, but I do love you. I loved you before I knew it was love.”

  I grinned back. “That only counts as one.”

  And I smashed her lips into mine but then went purposefully slow, dragging out every second that we were able to touch a part of our bodies together. Like all SEALs, even former ones, I wasn’t gentle, but I knew a hell of a lot about control and patience, about working slow for the best results. There weren’t many people who could keep up with that slow yet harsh pace. I was an oxymoron of sorts. But Dani had proven she could keep up with me. With all my twisted pieces. With a burnt heart she’d somehow replaced with one that was bursting with new life.

  She was my goddess, leading me home from war.

  I hope you enjoyed getting Dani and Nash’s love story. If you’re not ready to let them go, you can download an

  EXCLUSIVE BONUS EPILOGUE for my newsletter subscribers that gives you a look at them three years later and a sneak preview of the next Anchor Novel, BRANDED BY A SONG, which will feature country-rock star, Brady O’Neil and a “secret” lady love.

  YES, I WANT TO DOWNLOAD

  THE BONUS EPILOGUE FOR DAMAGED DESIRES

  https://BookHip.com/GHJVBV

  More Anchor Novels

  If you haven’t read it already, you can also catch more of Dani and Nash in FORGED BY SACRIFICE where they were secondary characters. It’s available on Amazon and FREE in Kindle Unlimited. https://amzn.to/2oU2NAY

  Mac and Georgie’s happily ever after story has a whole slew of 5-star reviews like this one from Angela’s Book Addiction: “Beautifully written, emotional, sexy, and full of depth with exciting twists and turns. I highly recommend it!”

  Here’s a little taste of Forged by Sacrifice:

  “I’d really like to kiss you,” he said quietly.

  I looked into his eyes that were the color of the sky and the sea all rolled into one. His face was so gorgeous, with its day-old stubble and square planes, that it was like looking at a piece of art you’d never expected to see up close in person.

  “I’d really like you to kiss me, too. But let’s face it, it isn’t a good idea,” I answered back, unable to deny the attraction that existed between the two of us from the moment we’d met in my salon two years ago, regardless of the relationship I’d just left behind.

  His head inclined in silent agreement. It wasn’t a good idea. Disappointment curled through me even as I knew it was better this way.

  His hand moved to caress my cheek. Gently. Soothing.

  “Can I ask why you think it’s a bad idea?” he inquired.

  His voice had turned a notch deeper in blatant desire, making my heart pound against my chest in a heavy beat that denied my words. I ached to kiss him. To feel those almost too-perfect lips against my own. To feel the strength that poured from him, in muscle and character, reaching out to touch my soul.

  “Ava and Eli,” I said quietly. “Awkwardness later.”

  He nodded again, that new and unfamiliar feeling of disappointment reaching up into my throat at his action. My body didn’t want him to nod, but my brain was still ruling my movements.

  “One kiss,” he muttered, a finger traveled to my lips, caressing the bottom one with a gentle touch like the one he’d used on the tomatoes the day before. Surprising. Sexy. My breath escaped in a gasp that sounded almost like a moan.

  And then his lips were on mine, just like the touch, gentle and yet full of heat, longing filling us both, desire escaping from us and mingling in an excursion that felt like heartbreak and loneliness and promises that would never be. The gentleness gave way to a fierceness that was as unexpected as the gentleness had been. His hand went to my lower back, pulling me toward him tighter so that our bodies and curves joined in a way that felt like opposite ends of magnets finally clicking together. Parallel forces drawn, as if by physics itself.

  Want to keep reading the first four chapters for FREE?

  FREE SAMPLE OF FORGED BY SACRIFICE

  Want more of these characters? Want to see how the entire Anchor Novels came into being? Check out the very first standalone Anchor Novel, GUARDED DREAMS, on Amazon now (FREE in Kindle Unlimited), and see why Amazon Bestselling Author, Jami Albright says, that "Guarded Dreams is a lovely, lyrical, and moving second- chance romance that sucked me in and refused to let go until I was wholly in love with Eli and Ava… A beautiful story that will steal your heart and make you believe in love that lasts forever." https://amzn.to/2LJHHic

  Here’s a tiny snippet from Eli and Ava’s happily ever after story:

  She went down the hall with a drunken walk, bumping into walls and making so much noise that I was sure Mac and Truck were going to come out of their rooms ready to start a fight.

  “Where are you going?” I asked as I followed her.

  “To bed,” she said and entered the master suite.

  “Not in here, you’re not.”

  She was already on the bed, feet going under the sheet and head landing on the pillow I’d been using. The king-sized bed was huge, and yet, somehow, she was in the exact spot I’d been lying in.

>   “Ava,” I said her name, and it sounded strange. Throaty. Like a word I shouldn’t be saying.

  Her eyes popped back open at her name, or the way I’d said it, or both, and I had to fight off every nerve in my body that was demanding I jump into the bed beside her.

  “There’s plenty of room, Mr. Grumpy.”

  It sounded like an offer. An offer we both knew that I wasn’t going to accept. She patted the bed behind her as if to reemphasize her point.

  “You won’t even know I’m here,” she continued.

  There was no way I was climbing into that bed. Just as there was no way I wouldn’t know she was there. But when I moved toward the bed, her lips curled up in a sly smile as if she actually believed I'd join her. I reached over her to grab a pillow.

  “Sleep good, drunkard, because tomorrow your sweet little ass is out of here.”

  Want to keep reading the first four chapters for FREE?

  FREE SAMPLE OF GUARDED DREAMS

  The third Anchor Novel, AVENGED BY LOVE, came out in April 2020. Truck and Jersey’s standalone happily ever after is a fake marriage, slow-burn romance you might not want to miss. https://amzn.to/31ma5fZ

  One of the BookBub 5-star reviews says, “This book has wings of its own that will take you on one of the greatest love story adventures!"

  Here’s a little teaser from Avenged by Love for you:

  The man shut the bar, clicked the button next to him, and we swooshed backward while he loaded the next car. Our seat continued to sway, and I gripped the bar.

  Jersey laughed next to me, and I turned my head from the ground disappearing beneath us to her. To the beauty that was the pale vision next to me. “This is funny to you?”

  “It’s just…you’re this big, bad Coast Guard, all protective He-man action. So, it’s strange to see you afraid of a simple machine.”

  “We aren’t birds. We don’t have wings. If we fall, there will be nothing to save us.”

 

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