Harlow and Axel (Anniston Secrets Book 1)

by J. N. Pack

  We are halfway home when I can’t stand it anymore, “Why didn’t Axel come?” I look to Cass who keeps his eyes on the road. “At all? Why didn’t he come back?”

  Cass shrugs and says, “Did you want him to?”

  I don’t answer I just look out the window.

  “You can’t put up walls expecting people to walk through them.” he continued.

  I look at him and he glances at me. I turn and look back out the window. When we pull up at my house the grass has been cut. I climb out slowly. My ribs are wrapped, but they still hurt when I move. Harley gets one side and Cass quickly grabs the side with my broken wrist and hand. They help me limp to the house. I try and glance towards his house, but someone is always in my way. It’s like they are protecting him from me. Once I’m inside Cass and Harley watch me as I gingerly sit on the couch. Cass hands me a phone and says, “Drake said to give this to you to replace the one that was broken. He had your number transferred and all of our numbers are in there. He gave Harley and Hanna one as well just in case you guys need help and you can’t get to your phone. He knew you’d give it back if he tried to give it to you personally.”

  I smirk and say, “Thanks.”

  Harley walked him to the door.

  Axel

  This has been a hell of a week. I never went back to Drakes and trust me I heard all about it. He called and messaged and came by all the time. Moose, Jessi and Cass dropped by to see her several times this past week and they told me she looked for me. I honestly don’t think I have the strength to try and break her walls down again. I got drunk every night. I had a different girl every night, but my mind always went back to her. Cass and Moose both told me I was being stupid and maybe I was. The day Drake calls and asks someone to bring her home in her car I was tempted, but instead I sent Cass. I watched them help her inside and I saw her looking at my house. Moose says, “You know she’s looking for you.”

  I shrug and throw myself back on my bed. “It is what it is.”

  A few minutes later Cass comes in, “Both of you are fucked up!”

  I look at him and roll my eyes looking back to the ceiling.

  Chapter 21

  Another week goes by and I return to school on a Friday of all days. Hendricks continues to watch me, but he doesn’t approach. I sit across the cafeteria with Harley and Laylin instead of with Axel, Cass, Moose and Jessi. I keep glancing over at them. Jessi gives a sad smile and Axel looks anywhere, but at us. Then some blonde cheerleader drops her ass on Axel’s lap smiling and then locks lips with him.

  Harley glances over her shoulder and then back at me. She asks, “You good?”

  I look around anywhere, but at Harley and the table they’re at. I nod and say, “I’m just going to get out of here.”

  Harley nods.

  Laylin says, “There’s a party tonight at Trad’s, you guys are going with me! I’ll even drive.”

  I nod, “Sure. Whatever.” I turn and walk out of the cafeteria. I’m halfway down the hall headed to my car when I hear Jessi call my name. I keep walking. She jogs to my side. I slow and turn around.

  “Hey. Don’t take offense to that. He’s not in the right headspace right now.” she says.

  I shrug trying to hide my feelings, “Not my business. He can kiss whoever he wants.”

  She can read right through me, but I still hold strong.

  “I’m going to get out of here. I came back too soon. My ribs are killing me.” I say.

  She nods knowing it’s a lie. “I’ll give Harley a ride if she doesn’t ride with Laylin.”

  I nod and turn pulling shades over my eyes and walk out of the school. Fighting tears and emotions I don’t want to feel.

  When I get home I check my phone and I have six text messages.

  Harley: Laylin’s bringing me home so we can get dressed at home.

  Harley: You okay?

  Cass: You good?

  Drake: Hey, Harley said you left school, you ok?

  Harley: I kinda ratted you out to Drake, Sorry!

  Moose: How’s the ribs?

  I don’t really want to respond to them, so I’m not. I do send Drake a text so he doesn’t show up.

  Harlow: I’m fine. Ribs still real sore.

  Drake: Ok call me if you need me and lock the doors.

  Harlow: k

  I’m not used to the amount of concern he has for me and my well-being. I just want to close my eyes and breathe a minute before Harley and Laylin get here. Relax before I have to pretend I’m going to hang out with people and party, when in reality I’m going to get drunk and avoid people at all costs. Especially Axel. I can’t be angry with him. It’s not like we were dating. It’s not like we had something. Maybe its best he walked away. I’m no good with people so maybe this is best. I throw my crap on my bed in my room and get in the shower. I wash my hair and my body trying not to get my purple cast wet. Once I’m done I get out and pull on some black tights, my black combat books and a White long sleeve Hurley shirt. I put some eyeliner and lip gloss on and Do as little with my hair as possible. I run a comb through it and it's done. I sit on the couch and watch some new tv series on netflix my sister fell in love with. I tense when I hear a key in the lock a couple of hours later. I relax when Harley and Laylin push through the door. She smiles and says, “Damn you ready to go already?”

  I winked at her and she laughs. While she and Laylin disappear up the stairs I keep watching my show. When Hanns gets home she gives me a hug and asks if she can stay the night with Misty and Ace and I let her go. It’s almost eight when Laylin and Harley come down the stairs.

  We make it to Trad’s about eight forty-five. Walking in I see none of the guys are here. Thank God. Maybe I’ll be able to drink this whole thing off my mind. I take a couple shots with Harley and Laylin and then I disappear to sit by the pool with my own bottle and forget. Halfway through the bottle my night goes to shit. The cheerleader shows up and she’s attached to Axel’s arm. A few minutes later Moose, Cass and Jessi come in. None looking too happy. When Jessi sees me her eyes widen. I salute her with my bottle and disappear outside. Unfortunately, Hendricks finds me. He starts talking and I start edging my way back to the party. When I finally get back inside and put some distance between him and I, I edge around the living room avoiding the groups of people around the house. I catch a glimpse of Axel and the girl and this time his eyes meet mine. I freeze unable to move, until his eyes release me and move to the girl beside him. I walk to the kitchen that is empty and sit on the counter. I drink a couple more swallows of the Jose and Harley finds me. “Thought you were coming out tonight to hang out?”

  I smirk and say, “I am hanging out.”

  Her lips tilt and she says, “You’re sitting here alone, with a three quarter empty bottle of Jose.”

  I dunno if it was the alcohol or my emotions, but tears fill my eyes and once they start I can’t stop them.

  “Jesus. Come on let’s get you home.” she says.

  I whimper, “Ok.” I slip off the counter and we slip out the back door. When we get to the car, Cass is standing beside it. When he sees the tears in my eyes he asks, “What the fuck?”

  I start crying again and before I can pull myself together Axel walks out the back door coming to a stop when our eyes collide. I start wiping tears from my face and when I can’t stop them from falling I turn around and climb into the car. He takes a step and Harley steps between us. He keeps leaning to the side to try and see me, but I curl up in fetal position on the seat and close my eyes and allow the tears to fall. A second later Harley gets in the car and Jessi climbs in the driver seat. Once the car starts moving I sit up finishing off the bottle of Jose. Feeling sad and needing to feel something I ask to go to a park a kid’s park and at first Jessi says no, but then a second later she turns into a park. I climb from the car and sit on one of the swings and swing slowly dragging my bare feet in the sand. In that moment I’m at peace. Until headlights pull in and three heads pop out. One headed direc
tly for me. The other two stop at the car with Jessi and Harley. He stopped less than two feet in front of me. I refuse to look up at him and he squats down looking me in the eyes. “You ok?” he asks quietly.

  I smile sadly and shake my head no.

  “Tell me what to do. How can I make it better?” he asks.

  I close my eyes and wipe the tears. “I’m just drunk. I’ll be ok.”

  “That’s not what I asked?” he says.

  He reaches up and puts a stray hair behind my ear and then wipes a tear from my eye. I glance at the car where they are watching us closely.

  “You left? You never came back.” I say through fresh tears.

  He drops his head and doesn’t say anything.

  “I trusted you and you just left.” I whisper.

  “I didn’t think you wanted me there. I felt you put that wall of yours piece by piece that day. I fucked up, but you put that wall up.” he says sadly.

  “I needed time to process what I just found out. I wasn’t putting the wall back up. You disintegrated the wall where you were concerned. I’ve tried piecing this shit back together since I got home, but pieces are missing.” I mumble. I turn the beer up I’d been drinking and take a huge swallow.

  He looks away and then back at me. He looks at the ground and then back at me and asks, “Do you trust me now?”

  I look at him and see sincerity in his eyes. I nod.

  He puts his hand on both sides of my cheeks and leans forward and kisses me. I kiss him back and wrap my arms around his neck. He gently puts his arms around my waist. When he finally pulls away, I’m left dizzy and more confused than ever when he says, “Don’t trust me. I’m not worth it.” and walks away. My heart shatters in that moment. The tears start again. I throw the bottle at him missing his head by a foot. He glances back, then turns and keeps walking.

  “I hate you!” I whisper. “I hate you.” I watch him argue with Cass and Jessi, while Moose just looks at me sadly. When all their eyes land on me, I turn my back to them. My heart has been ripped out of my chest. I feel numb and broken.

  Chapter 22

  The next few days I avoid everyone. Even my sisters. Half the time I spend days and nights curled up in my bed. When I do venture outside it’s usually the back porch so no one sees me. I haven’t had an appetite for days. I haven’t been in school. Drake’s text several times and even shown up a few. When I do venture out front it’s usually when everyone is in school and I mess around with Betty. I’ve gotten my feelings under control and hardened my heart or so I hope. Monday is my first day back at school since getting my cast removed. Since the party. Drake is making me go back.

  Harley tries to talk to me in the car, but I have no intentions of arguing with my sister. When we get out at school I can feel eyes burning in my back. I avoid everyone's stares. Walking into first period I sit as far away from Moose as I can. He calls my name after class, but I walk out and ignore him. I glance back and see him and Cass staring after me. In lab I sit at the very back beside some girl with huge glasses so I can see everyone around me. Axel walks in and avoids me. No problem I have no desire to be around him or talk to him. At lunch I grab a bottle of water and head outside and sit beside a tree. I cross my legs at the ankles and lay my head back on a tree. After school I text Laylin and ask her if she can talk to the guy about getting me a race and she says yeah. An hour later I have a race for Friday night. I spend my afternoon avoiding everyone and fiddling with my car. Drake pulls in the driveway. He walks over and says, “I hear you’re not talking to people so much these days?”

  I roll my eyes and say, “Harley has a big mouth.”

  “That’s your sister and she loves you. Plus I asked.” he says.

  I ignore him. I listen as he walks over to the fence. Then I hear Axel, “Yeah?”

  “Come around here son.” Drake says.

  I hear Axel hop the fence. Drake walks over to where I’m messing with my car and Axel follows.

  “Either of you want to explain to me what’s going on.” he asks.

  Axel’s quiet.

  “Harlow?” Drake’s askes.

  “What?” I growl in frustration.

  “I’ve been informed you haven’t eaten in almost a week. You’re moody and refuse to talk to even your sisters. I can tell by looking at you you’re down at least fifteen pounds. So what’s going on?” Drake says.

  I shrug and continue to fiddle with my car.

  “Axel?” Drake askes.

  “Nothing’s going on.” he says. He grabs my arm and says, “Why haven’t you been eating?”

  I shrug his hand off angrily. “Get your fuckin’ hands off me!” all the while chill bumps pop out all along my arm. I hop from my car and shove past both of them. I grab my skateboard from beside the house and disappear down the street.

  Axel

  Harley comes out of the house and shoves me in my chest and yells, “This is your fault! You broke her! She let you in and you broke her. I hate you!” Cass comes out of the house where Harley came from and wraps his arms around her pulling her back as she cries and yells, “I hate you!”

  I had noticed the weight loss and the only getting water at lunch. Along with her skin being paler. I hated myself for doing what I did, but it’s what I had to do.

  Cass looks at me as he pulls Harley through the front door, “She’s not Drew Axel. No matter how much she looks like him, she’s not Drew.”

  I glance at my brother and then back at the ground.

  Drake says, “You know he’s right, right? Drew is gone and that’s not your fault. What happened to her is not your fault. You can’t take the blame for something that was out of your control from the start.”

  As much as I want to believe what they say I can’t take that chance. It broke my heart that night and to hear her say she hated me had me wanting to turn and go back to her, but how can I. I hate seeing her do this to herself, but I can’t help her.

  “Whatever I’m out of here.” I say.

  My head is not in the right place. I know I’m doing the right thing. I can’t protect her. What her Dad did to her just proves it. I hop the fence leaving Drake running his hands through his hair. He looks down the street where she disappeared and then back across the yard toward me. Cass walks out of their house just as I’m walking in mine. Mom stops me before I get up the stairs, “Son, come here.” So I walk backwards back down the stairs.

  “Yea?” I say.

  “Don’t yeah me son. Get in here.” she growls.

  I walk into the kitchen.

  “Sit down. I want to talk to you about something.” she says.

  “Not you to mom.” I say rolling my eyes trying to turn back towards the stairs.

  “Boy sit yo ass down!” She raises her voice.

  I turn around and sit on one of the stools at the counter.

  “I knew that girl’s mother, before she ran away when she was pregnant. Drake and her mom, Rosy that was her name, were head over heels in love. Your Dad having it out for Drake targeted Rosy. She was a sweet girl. Beautiful. He would show up at her job. Give drugs to her friends to try and get her hooked. Bending over backwards to fuck her up. Your Daddy was and still is a cruel man. What you did, and yes I heard, that was cruel.” she says.

  “Mom you don’t understand.” I growl.

  “Boy I understand all too well. You’ve decided since you couldn’t protect her that one time you don’t deserve her. Let me tell you a little something son. Drake couldn’t protect Rosy, but he loved her and would have died for her. He never got the chance. Marcus found out she was pregnant before she got the chance to tell Drake. He cornered her and raped her. Then he threatened that girl’s life if Rosy didn’t disappear for good. Told Rosy he’d slit the girls throat. If Rosy ever came back to town he was going to kill Rosy, Drake and the baby. So Rosy ran. She never got over being raped and turned to drugs. She fought it for a while, but at the end Harlan helped her to her grave. Harlan is a cruel, cruel man and if you thi
nk he’s done with that girl you are sadly mistaken. He used to work for your father years ago. He followed Rosy when she left and made her fall for him. More or less fed her drugs. He beat her and beat those girls. Your father had him stick that needle in Rosy’s arm the day those little girls found her. Those kids have been through enough. They need someone who is willing to fight for them. If that’s not you, and you can stand back and watch, you aren’t the man I thought I was raising.” She takes a deep breath and says, “I saw the way you look at her. I’m no fool and neither are you.”

  Chapter 23

  The past week has flown by and thank God it’s Friday. I am so ready to race my car. I haven’t been able to race it because of my arm and my ribs, but my cast is off now and my ribs are wrapped tight. I’ve spent ninety percent of the past week at a skate park I found down the street. When I wasn’t there I was either working on my car or in my room. I haven’t seen anyone. I avoided the cafeteria and I skipped first period and lab all week. I haven’t seen Drake either. I’ve heard Cass and Moose and Jessi downstairs with the girls, but I avoid them too. I love my sisters, but I’m not in the right headspace to deal with them right now. Tonight was going to be hard. I knew Axel was going to be there and his arm candy was sure to be there hanging off of his arm. I can’t stand to see the sad look in Moose’s eyes or even Jessi’s or Cass’s. I don’t want their fuckin’ pitty. That night. One night of trying to get drunk and forget rocked my world. I have never dated anyone, never got close enough to date anyone, never let anyone in, other than my sisters. The one time I do let someone in, my heart gets shattered and the pieces I put back together don’t work the same anymore. It’s nearly eight pm and I’m climbing in my car to leave for the races. I see Harley walk out on the porch watching me. She is riding to the races with Moose and Jessi tonight. I overheard them talking about it last night while I was upstairs. I close my eyes for a second and then I slowly back out of the driveway.

  Pulling up at the races I am trying to control my adrenaline. I climb out of the car and pop the hood to look over the engine. I’ve done this a million times this week, but it never hurts to do it again. Jed walks over and says, “You think she’s ready.”