by Abby Ayles
“I do like that idea,” he replied.
Thea was quiet, not knowing what else to say. No matter how she and the Duke tried, they still had moments of little conversation and awkwardness. The awkwardness had shifted, but it was still there.
Before it had been a matter of their not caring for one another and not wishing to be in this marriage. But now it consisted of the very opposite. Neither was comfortable sharing exactly what had come of their feelings and what it was they were thinking.
Thea hoped she might learn to tell him, find a way to express it. But it was not now. No matter how she wished it might be.
The Duke looked at her and she returned his attention. He was silent as well, but she saw it in his eyes. He was thinking the very same thing that she had been. He remained quiet, but shifted himself closer to her, keeping the same pace.
Thea smiled nervously. She could not look at him for fear that her expression might give away everything she felt inside.
Something was building up within her and she felt as though it was all going to burst out. As if she couldn't contain it any longer, she worried that she might simply fall apart or cry or laugh or exhibit a number of emotions. There was nothing to hold her back.
Thea tried to breathe, to steady herself in some way and be contained. But how could she contain such joy as she felt through her love for her husband? How could she suppress the feelings that were deep inside and so strong they wished for release? How could she continue to resist?
But when Thea thought she could not handle the spark between them any longer, she felt the warmth of the Duke’s hand embracing her own. It was soothing and peaceful the way he brushed a thumb along the back of hers as if to remind her that he was there and would not let go.
A satisfied sigh escaped her lips.
Chapter 40
The Duke headed to the library where he knew that Thea would be found. Entering, she looked up at him, having grown more alert of his presence than any book which intrigued her.
He watched her stand from her seat and curtsey to him and the Duke bowed slightly to her as well. She looked stunning in a pale blue gown with lace decorating much of it. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders and back and the Duke was captivated.
He swallowed, hardly able to control himself around her anymore.
“What are you reading?” he asked.
She held up the cover for him to see and he smiled. It was another of his favorites. He had told her that once and was certain that was why she had chosen it now.
“Might I sit with you?” he asked.
“I should love nothing more,” Thea replied. The Duke sat in the chair beside her and observed the way she waited patiently for him to speak.
"Mrs. Tyndale, you are not the woman I had once expected,” he told her.
“Nor you the man I had," she replied.
The Duke knew that to be true. But he had been practicing this, thinking of what he might say to finally confess his heart to her.
“Indeed, I had thought you to be shallow and dimwitted,” he said, grimacing at his own assumptions. He saw the expression on Thea's face and knew she did not appreciate such an assumption.
“I know now how wrong I was. But you must understand that my mother frequently paraded young women around me in the hopes that I might marry quickly. A great many of them were beautiful as you are. But none had any intellect. Few had substance of any sort at all,” he continued.
“And when I knew you to be a young woman who was of different breeding than I, it was my thought that you desired me only for my money and my title as so many other young women had.”
The Duke paused then, scratching his chin and laughing to himself.
“Little did I know that not only did you desire none of those things, it was marriage to me that you desired least of all,” he said with a chuckle.
Thea laughed with him at that and nodded honestly.
“Yes, I suppose that was true," she said.
“What I am meaning to say is simply to tell you that I am very sorry I thought so wrongly of you. I was a complete fool. You are a gem. Truly. You are like no other woman I have ever met and I am sorry it has taken this long for me to come to realize that,” he said.
“You needn’t apologize, Mr. Tyndale. If it would make you feel better, I should like to share what wrong things I thought of you," she said with a teasing grin.
The Duke laughed once more. “I should very much like to hear it.”
Thea leaned forward. The Duke could not help but note her figure when she did so. She was beautiful in every way.
“I believed you to be arrogant beyond anything. I could not imagine someone such as you being humble and I was disgusted from the moment I saw you. You did not like the dust that settled on your shoes when you reached our home,” she recalled.
The Duke looked embarrassed at that memory.
“I thought you to be greedy. And I grew to believe that more when I, one day, needed stationary and snuck into your study. I stumbled upon some of your accounts," she confessed anxiously.
The Duke raised an amused eyebrow, but did not scold her.
“When I saw them, and when I saw how much you had put into the trade investment, I was appalled by your behavior. I thought you to be one of the very worst of individuals,” she said.
“Little did I know then that you are generous. You give to others in a way I have scarcely seen before in all my life. More than that, you are wise. You make decisions so unlike the way others do. You have truly grasped me with your kindness and intellect,” she said, using the same word he had used when describing her.
“As you thought I wanted you only for your money, perhaps I thought that was all there was of you. Little substance, only material possessions,” Thea admitted.
“I suppose we both thought wrong of one another,” the Duke said, observing the past.
"There was one thing which I believe I noticed correctly from the start," Thea said.
“Oh? And what is that?" the Duke inquired.
“I was not immune to noting that you have a rather handsome face," she answered him in an honest, teasing voice.
The Duke grinned and nodded. “Yes, I noticed the same of you immediately. Face and figure. Quite extraordinary, they both are," he said.
The Duke was overjoyed by the way they were speaking so openly and kindly to one another. He had never anticipated their closeness reaching this point. He was more grateful than his words could express to be interacting with her so calmly.
“I fear, however, that I must address that topic which we both have wished to avoid," he said.
“And what is that?" Thea asked, as if uncertain what he was speaking about.
“The Dowager Duchess. My mother. We must address what it was that she said to you. I cannot bear to think that you were so wounded by her as that. I do not wish for you to ever feel the things that she made you feel or those things she said of you,” he told her.
“Please, Mr. Tyndale. There is no need to dwell on it,” she said. “I have quite forgotten it.”
The Duke of Sandon saw that she had not forgotten at all. She was still pained by the memory, but her pride and stubborn desire to overcome it were holding her together in spite of the pain that his mother had caused.
“Mrs.-Thea, please. Listen to me. I will speak with my mother. I cannot allow her to make you feel that way. I will not stand for it. not in my home or any other. I know she is unlikely to change her course of thought, but you are my wife and a duchess. You are of the same societal standing now as she once was when married to my father.
“Your past position, the birth you came into, none of that speaks of who you are now. There was no shame in any of it as it was before," the Duke said, hoping she did not take offense to her birth. “I cannot say that there was ever an issue with your breeding. But you understand how society works. And they are cruel.
“My mother is cruel. She does not see people for who they really are. She
is blinded by her own pride. So, my wife, please know that I have every intention of speaking with her and addressing the incident. Not with any intention of embarrassing you, but through my desire to strengthen our marriage,” he committed.
“Thank you,” Thea replied with a sigh. The Duke knew that she was simultaneously uncomfortable and also relieved by his decision.
“It is the very least I can do for my wife,” the Duke said. “She is deserving of the best I have to offer.”
“Her husband is deserving of more than I could offer,” Thea retorted.
The Duke of Sandon considered the rest of the discussing that he was longing to have. He had not finished all he wanted to tell her. He didn’t know if he could find the courage but knew he must.
“Mrs. Tyndale, there is more that I have to say to you,” the Duke said, breathing deeply.
She looked at him once more, still seeming anxious.
“I wish for you to never feel unwelcome by my mother because it is my greatest wish to have you as my wife. Now and forever,” he said.
“Mr. Tyndale, I have to confess to you that this is exactly what I wish for as well," she said through eyes that seemed rife with tears.
“You wish it?” he asked.
“I do indeed,” she replied.
“I must tell you exactly why I wish it," the Duke said, fiddling with his hands. He was unaccustomed to being so nervous. But for what he was to tell her, there was little that might settle him.
“Please tell me,” she replied.
“I wish it because I have fallen quite in love with you," he confessed.
Thea was stunned into silence, but her mouth opened to reply. The Duke waited, allowing her time to gather her thoughts before she was forced to respond.
“Mr. Tyndale, I must tell you that I feel the same. I, myself have fallen in love with you. I had not expected something like this would ever come to pass between us," she admitted.
"And yet, here we are," she added with a laugh.
“Yes, indeed. Here we are,” the Duke said in reply. He looked on her with great interest and admiration. This woman who he had grown to love, despite not believing it to be possible, loved him in return.
She was all he could think about. And even as he sat with her, the Duke's thoughts were consumed by Thea. He was imagining what their future would look like. He considered the time they would have and all the days ahead. He wondered if she would be as happy as he was or if she was simply content.
But no, those words she had spoken, they had clarified everything. They had told him all he needed to know. Thea loved him. As he loved her. And their future was sealed.
“Mr. Tyndale, are you going to be home tomorrow?" Thea asked him suddenly.
He thought for a moment. "I have a meeting in the afternoon but I shall be home for dinner," he replied, remembering that he had to visit with Mr. Finks yet again.
“Alright then,” she said. “I shall look forward to having dinner with you.”
The Duke noted a hint of sadness in her voice but it at once made him sorry and also overjoyed to know that she cared so deeply as to regret time not spent with him.
The Duke was glad for his wife. She took his hand as they had begun to do now and again. Nothing more had yet passed between them, but he was thankful for this at the very least.
He had her hand, and now he also knew that he had her heart.
Chapter 41
Thea stood at the top of the staircase watching and waiting. Soon the Duke came through the door looking fine and his coattails his hat still on his head. She waited as Mrs. Markley took his outerwear and immediately the Duke turned and noted what was on the stairs.
She found it funny that he hadn’t noticed all of it when first entering, but it seemed that he was distracted. The Duke had given his things to Mrs. Markley swiftly as if he had much else on his mind and he did not need to be distracted any longer.
Thea continue to watch but soon she had to retreat. From her position she gazed at him and with each step he took she noted his smile. Yes, she had given him a new distraction. Whatever had occurred in his day that left him with any sort of stress, he could forget it now.
Now, he was home and now he would find the gift that she had prepared for him.
Along the stairs, she had done just what he had on that day that now seemed so long ago. An abundance of roses lined the staircase, alongside them a candle on each step with the flame burning brightly. And beside each candle sat a book.
They were all books already from his library. Thea had not the resources nor the capacity to have purchased brand new ones as he had so thoughtfully done for her. But she made every effort to replicate the image of what he had done for her those days before. But she had ensured that each book was one that they had discussed.
Some were favorites of both or even just one of them. Some had been debated between them. Thea had realized during her search for the books just how much they had taken a part of the few conversations that she and the Duke had had.
The Duke tread up the steps and Thea rushed and turned down the hallway. The Duke had not seen her yet. Just as she had hoped.
She entered his room and made her way to the balcony. Cautiously watching through the door she had left cracked open, Thea observed the Duke entering the room. The grin on his face was exquisite, more beautiful than any she had seen in all her life.
Understanding his joy, understanding his excitement for her devotion was thrilling. It was an elixir just to watch him desire her and enjoy the gift that she had prepared for him.
The roses did not end at the Duke’s door. They continued through his room and lead to the balcony. He allowed his eyes to follow them and Thea watched him still, hiding in place for him to follow the path.
As the Duke exited through the door, he avoided the candles that could so easily burn him. He turned and Thea watched him walk towards her.
She had prepared herself in her wedding gown, the one she had worn exactly two months prior to this day. His eyes took her in from head to toe and back up again, journeying across all that he had grown to love and care for.
Thea noted once more how handsome he looked. She remained quiet and gave the Duke the opportunity to take in the evening.
He had told her he would be arriving for dinner. Dinner was still going to be ready for them downstairs, but this had to happen first, she had determined.
She had planned this when she learned that he would be out that day. Being exactly two months from their wedding day, it seemed the perfect occasion for her to prepare herself as she had been when a bride those months before.
She looked just as she had that day, with her hair done up in the same fashion, thanks to a bit of help from Mrs. Markley.
“You are a vision, Mrs. Tyndale," the Duke said to her.
"And you are a husband to dream about,” Thea replied.
“Do you dream of me?” he asked.
“Often. But in truth, I have no need of the dream version of you. The real is far better, I must confess. The real man, the real Duke of Sandon, the real Mr. Tyndale. That is the only you that I wish for,” Thea told him.
“And what of this display? What led you to such an elaborate act?” he asked her, noting her wedding gown and the candles that surrounded the even on the balcony.
“It is not so grand a gesture as that which you performed for me. But I have done all I was capable of doing to provide you with some measure of evidence of how deeply I care for you," she told him.
“You have done so quite successfully, I must say,” he replied, smiling.
“Whatever I might do for you, I think that we can unilaterally agree that it is very small compared to those things you have done for me. I am always astounded by the ways in which you care for me. You show them so frequently,” she reminded him.
In Thea’s mind, she had done nothing but create a poor copy of what the Duke had done for her in the time past. She thought about how much more his gesture had m
eant. This one was so small.
She decided that it was time to address the next part of her surprise. This was the thing she had been longing to do since realizing that her heart had shifted. Thea didn't know whether or not the Duke would like it or agree to do it, but Thea hoped he would appreciate the whole of her plan.
“Mr. Tyndale, two months ago we vowed to be man and wife to one another. We said our vows, echoing the words of the reverend who married us and we said them as a duty. Tonight I wish to say them to you as your wife," Thea told him, revealing two pieces of paper.
The Duke eyed the sheets in her hands.