by Lexi C. Foss
The self-doubt only made me sob harder, and I couldn’t explain it to my mates, who were all trying to control the situation.
Sol shoved me into Cyrus’s grip. “Fix this,” he demanded while he went to the tree and worked an excessive show of magic, forcing the branches to warp and change as he brought it back to life.
Vox helped him, brushing away the ash into the cracks in the ground as the revived tree took shape. Exos grabbed the Hell Fae’s arm and pulled her aside before she could burn anything else. She hissed at him, which would have been comical had I not been holding on to Cyrus like a hysterical loon crying over a tree Sol was already reviving.
It’s okay, little queen. He’s fixing it. He brushed his lips against my temple. Shh, it’s okay.
His words only made me cry more.
Then Sol finished, and the tree was fuller, larger, and even more beautiful than before. The unique, white-feathered branches brushed the ceiling as Vox sent glitter and sparkles to dance around it. Titus snapped his fingers, creating a delicate blue glow to illuminate the top.
And my sobs increased.
It was just so sweet, and all of it was so, so beautiful. My mates would do anything to make me happy, even if it was something frivolous like fixing a Christmas tree.
And oh, I didn’t deserve them.
Or any of this.
I couldn’t even eat porridge right!
The Hell Fae gawked at me before glancing questioningly at Exos. I saw him mouth, “Pregnancy hormones,” before she smirked.
I should have been mad, but I didn’t care. I knew I was being unreasonably emotional. But what did they expect? I was growing a faeling in nine weeks. Not months. Weeks.
“Why are you still crying, little flower?” Sol asked, coming back to brush the tears from my face while I clung to Cyrus like a lifeline.
“It’s just so beautiful,” I said, smiling now as the tears continued to come, but this time they were tears of happiness. “Thank you.” Then I looked at Cyrus. “Nine weeks. How did you expect me to do this in nine weeks?”
He blinked. “Claire…”
“No, this is your fault!” I pointed to my belly, then melted as the little faeling kicked again. “Oh my Fae, it’s so cute. Did you feel that?”
“I did,” Cyrus replied, his palm against my stomach and his lips curling. “Do it again,” he encouraged, a note of wonder in his voice.
I relaxed into him, content.
Then the Hell Fae gagged, ruining the moment. “Seriously, this is why our kind have our Hellhounds raise the faelings to toughen them up. Who has time for this shit?”
Cyrus narrowed his eyes. “If you’re done upsetting our mate, we brought you here to discuss the Interrealm Fae Academy plans. You’re a proxy for Lucifer’s vote, correct?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but no. I’m not interested. If he wants to work with you lunatics, he can come up here and vote for himself.” She stormed out of the room. Vox followed her movements with a gust of wind to keep her hellfire from burning any of the festive decorations again.
Exos sighed. “I’ll go after her.”
Cyrus reluctantly guided me into his brother’s arms. “No, it was my job to obtain the Hell Fae vote, and I messed it up. I’ll fix it.” He rested his hand on my stomach, smiling when the faeling kicked again. “You’re doing a great job, Claire. Don’t cry, and don’t stress. I’ll make sure the Hell Fae support the project.”
Sniffling, I nodded. Cyrus gave me a quick kiss before he followed the smell of burned Christmas tree out of the room.
“SOMETHING’S NOT RIGHT.” I kept my voice low, not wanting to wake Claire in the other room. Sol had stayed in there with her because he was the loudest of all of us. Which meant we would hear them coming if she decided to wake up.
He knew what we planned to discuss out here.
It was weighing on all our minds—Claire’s refusal to eat and her odd relationship with the elements.
“When was the last time someone saw her use an element?” Exos asked, his arms folded across his broad chest.
We’d all agreed that her reactions in her office with the Hell Fae were all wrong. She’d reacted like a helpless faeling, not a queen. And while we could grant her some leeway because she was pregnant and didn’t want to put the child at risk, we also all felt the disconnect in her inaction.
What happened to our fae who had taken on a dangerous abomination via the spirit realm? A Hell Fae shouldn’t frighten her. I mean, sure, they were terrifying as fuck, but the one in her office had barely lifted a finger, and Claire had wilted like some sort of weeping flower.
Exos thought it was hormones.
Maybe he was right.
But that didn’t explain the other events or how she couldn’t seem to eat anything we gave her.
“It’s been a while,” Vox said slowly. “Around the time of the consummation.”
I nodded. “I’ve spent the most time with her lately while you all have been handling other things. And she’s not used her elements at all. Not even to dry her hair.”
“That could be her Water Fae coming out a little,” Cyrus said, sounding thoughtful, not arrogant. “Most of my kind prefer wet hair for obvious reasons.”
“Okay.” I could give him that. “But she’s been avoiding fire. She claims it’s for safety reasons, but since when has she feared flames?”
“She’s also not been using air at all to stabilize herself when on ladders,” Vox added.
“She shouldn’t be on any ladders,” Cyrus reminded him, his annoyance palpable.
“Yes, yes,” Exos replied, waving him off. “But the more important point is that she’s not using her elements.”
“Or eating,” Vox muttered. “I tried to give her porridge today, and she couldn’t even accept that.” He palmed the back of his neck and blew out a breath. “Sol suggested we fake human food, but I’m thinking we should try real human food. We’ve already missed that Thanks Day holiday since it was this week. I couldn’t find a bird, or whatever it was we needed, and River said I had waited too long for him to gather the ingredients. Besides, I wasn’t even sure she would eat it.”
“A turkey,” Exos corrected. “Which is a type of bird, but Thanksgiving—which is the holiday’s name—is all about the turkey. And we probably should have made her one.”
“Maybe we need to take her home,” Cyrus interjected. “For Christmas.”
My brow furrowed. “Um, she’s already home.” Unless he meant the Water Kingdom? “Is she eating at the palace?”
“No, not an elemental home,” he replied. “Her home. As in the Human Realm.”
“Ohio,” Exos murmured, his expression pensive. “It would take some time to organize, but that might be what she needs. While her fae side is dominant, she is still half-human.”
“Can you put it together?” Cyrus asked.
Exos nodded. “Yeah, most of the fae on my list have already agreed to the academy. The only real outstanding kingdom is the Hell Fae.”
Cyrus groaned. “Don’t remind me. Those fuckers are going to be the death of me.”
“Do we really need them to agree?” Vox asked, sounding wary.
“In theory, no,” Exos replied. “But Claire really wants them involved. You know how she feels about making them feel welcome.”
Yeah, we all did. She was under the misguided notion that the Hell Fae needed to be involved to try to reconcile the past. Since they were a kingdom of abominations, they were exactly the kind of mixed fae she was trying to help through this initiative.
The thing she failed to realize was that the Hell Fae were beyond help. They’d developed their own manner of existing centuries ago, and no amount of groveling now would turn back time. Even with a Paradox Fae’s help.
I blew out a breath. “Right. So we’ll plan a trip to the Human Realm. Is that where we want to be for phase three?”
Cyrus glanced at Exos. “We’re going to need a big bed if we do that.”
“We’ll need space, too,” Vox warned. “She’s connected to all five elements. We have no idea what that’s going to do when she falls into the final phase.”
“She should mostly take from water since the child is tied to our shared element,” Cyrus said. “But I’m also half Spirit Fae. And as you said, she has all five elements.”
“Assuming she even has access to them,” I muttered.
“If she doesn’t, she will,” Exos replied. “It’s not uncommon for the faeling to absorb from the source while in the womb. However, she’s not said anything about it.”
“You know Claire. She wants to do it all herself.” And it drove me flipping nuts. “We need to keep an eye on her.”
Exos smirked. “Like we haven’t been doing that already.”
“You know what I mean,” I muttered, dragging my fingers through my auburn hair. It was sticking up on all ends today, thanks to that Hell Fae meeting. Fucking hellfire bitch. What was she thinking lighting the Christmas tree on fire? Ugh.
“Yeah, I do,” Cyrus said softly. “We need to be extra guarded. If she can’t access her elements, then she can’t properly protect herself.”
“Will that be a problem in the Human Realm?” Vox asked. “Taking her somewhere new when she can’t protect herself might be a bad idea.”
“Yeah, but it’s what she knows,” Exos reminded us. “She’s going to feel safe there. And hopefully, she’ll eat.”
“We’ll need to decorate.” Claire was obsessed with her Christmas colors and seasonal items. “Can that be done before we go?”
“She might want to be involved,” Cyrus pointed out. “Maybe we should wait and just have the items ready for her?”
Exos nodded. “Let’s see what I can get done first, then we’ll go from there. You focus on the Hell Fae. Titus, you keep monitoring Claire. Vox, see if River can’t suggest a human remedy of some kind. And tell Sol to look into more fruit trees. And I’ll organize our trip to occur during the solstice.”
That would help us all out with missing work. As it was, I’d already delegated several of my courses to Lance because I had to make Claire a priority. But Vox didn’t have anyone to share his course load with, and neither did Sol. Cyrus and Exos had the benefit of being their own bosses, so they could really do whatever the fuck they pleased.
“Right, I think we’re set, then,” Cyrus said. “I’m going to make arrangements for an underworld visit since that appears to be the only way to get through to Lucifer.”
Exos gave him an uneasy glance. “You sure you want to do that?”
“I absolutely do not want to do it, but for Claire, I have to try,” he replied. “Oh, were there any outstanding Shifter Fae we needed to track down?”
Exos shook his head. “The majority agreed, so it’s a done deal. Kalt had the Winter Fae. Aflora already helped with the Midnight Fae. Same with Gina and the Fortune Fae. And most of the other breeds have also agreed, too. So it’s really just the Hell Fae.”
Cyrus grimaced. “Great. Well, wish me luck. I’m going to need it.”
“Try not to get burned,” I said, which was my version of Good luck.
The Water Fae snorted. “Thanks, Firefly.”
I rolled my eyes. “I fucking hate that nickname.”
“Which is why I will forever use it.”
“And I’ll forever call you a Royal Jackass,” I drawled.
“One of these days, you’ll scream that while I fuck you.”
“In your dreams,” I tossed back.
“Every fucking night,” he agreed, smirking at me. Then he misted out of the room without another word. Typical Cyrus.
“Can you find River for me?” Vox asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, I’ll go see if he’s hanging around Water Quad.” He was a professor now for human studies but spent most of his time with his kind. “Be back soon.”
“Thanks, Titus,” Vox said, his voice underlined in exhaustion. He’d been sleeping about as well as Claire.
“We’ll figure this out,” I told him.
“I hope so,” he replied softly. “I really hope so.”
A WEEK LATER
EVERY DAY, I asked about the Hell Fae.
And every day, Cyrus assured me that I had nothing to worry about.
I didn’t believe him, but I also didn’t want to worry. As much as the vote mattered to me, the life growing inside of me took precedence. I couldn’t shake the urgency that I needed to prepare and relax. Pretty soon, we’d all be busy with a little faeling in need of our love and attention.
“What are you all up to?” I asked. My mates had guided me away from the intended direction of my office and toward the neutral grounds at the center of the campus.
“You’ll see,” Cyrus answered cryptically.
I frowned. We usually only ventured over here to spar in the gym or take the portal to the Human Realm. My current physical state confirmed the former was out of the question, and the latter would only make sense if we were going into the Interrealm Fae Council area for the vote—which wasn’t for a few more weeks.
An emissary waited for us as we arrived. Exos greeted him by name, handing him payment in exchange for a beautiful coat with fur puffed around the lining. “You’ll need this,” he said to me, his smile wry as he handed me the present. “Let’s try it on, shall we?”
“Won’t I get warm?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.
His eyes sparkled. “Don’t you trust us, princess?”
“Maybe I would if you told me where we’re going,” I said while I allowed him to wrap the impossibly soft coat around my shoulders.
It must have cost him a fortune. Because the emissary was from the Human Realm. It was the same one who brought Exos and Cyrus their tailored suits. However, when the coat wrapped me in suffocating warmth, I wondered if he was trying to sweat some sort of truth out of me.
“Patience,” Exos murmured, using his favorite phrase.
“You’re going to love it, Claire,” Vox promised, sweeping my fingers up with his to press a kiss to my knuckles.
“Don’t spoil it,” Sol warned, then frowned at my languid pace. “Are you doing okay, Claire? Do you want me to carry you?”
I glanced down at my boots, aware that they hid my swelling feet.
It felt like my body had doubled in size over the last week. I wasn’t exactly huge, just, well, a lot bigger than I used to be. And… “I’m tired,” I admitted out loud. “And hungry. And now I’m warm.” The last comment was for Exos.
I squeaked when Sol swooped me up into his arms without warning, making me giggle as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He smiled at me, his earthy eyes sparkling with mischief.
Really, what were my mates up to?
“You’re more than tired,” Exos said, opening the door to the realm travel chamber. “You’re exhausted, which is why we’re mandating you go on maternity leave—starting now.”
Cyrus and Vox hid their pointed ears with their hair, while Sol, Titus, and Exos put on hats. Cyrus gave me a kiss as he tucked my hair around my ears as well.
Okay, call me intrigued.
My eyes lit up when Sol brought me into the room, and Vox turned on the portal, activating a sequence of buttons that brought festive Christmas music ringing through the air as it connected to its destination.
I recognized the melody instantly because I’d heard the same carols growing up.
Home. They remind me of home.
My eyebrows lifted. “Are we…?” I couldn’t finish the hopeful statement, my heart beating a chaotic tune in my chest that reminded me of that famous song about bells.
“We think we know why you’re not feeling well, little queen,” Cyrus said, keeping his tone soft while the Christmas music lingered in the air. The atmosphere hummed as the world around us distorted, the smooth realm transition taking place in one of the more secure transit d
evices built by the Fortune Fae.
“What’s your theory?” I asked, a smile hinting on my lips as I waited for the realm travel to complete so I could see exactly where we were going. I hadn’t been back to my hometown in ages. I could almost taste the hot chocolate from my childhood. Although, my childhood had often been a lonely one.
Sol shifted me in his arms, keeping my belly resting comfortably against his chest while Cyrus leaned in and pressed a kiss to my lips. His water magic tingled over me, reassuring me that I wouldn’t be alone this year.
“You’re half-fae”—Cyrus’s blue eyes sparkled with magic—“but you’re also half-human. And we think you might be in need of some human indulgences. So that’s exactly what we’re going to give you.”
My lips curled. “I think you might be right. I’ve been craving my human food…”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Vox asked, his silver-rimmed irises flashing with a mixture of emotions. “I would have tried, Claire.”
“I know. But you all have been doing so much… I didn’t want to ask… It’s… I’ve been okay.”
Sol grunted at that. “Okay is not the word I’d use, Claire.”
“You should have told us,” Vox added.
“She’s telling us now,” Exos interjected. “That’s what matters.” He leaned in to brush a kiss against my forehead.
My heart fluttered in response. Thank you, I said to him.
He gave me a smile. Anything for you, baby.
This is exactly what I need, I promised. Home.
I loved my fae. I loved everything about their world, but with a child on the way, a sort of nostalgia gripped my heart and wouldn’t let go.
I wanted my child to know everything there was to know about the world. Not just about the fae realm, but about where I came from, too. Humans had a good side to them, one I had enjoyed in my friends before my universe imploded. My child would be one-quarter human, and that was a part of our bond that I wanted to share.
The room shuddered as we arrived in the Human Realm, the doors opening onto a busy street just a few blocks from where I’d grown up. Oh! I smiled to myself. Everything’s just the way I remember it.