“Well, then maybe we need to work outside our people. Like with the Killing Joes.”
Despite my relief at hearing we’re on the same page, I still point out, “That ended up with you and me banged up.”
“Scars are sexy.”
“Yeah, but I have a woman now and a future club to run. I’m sure you have a reason to play life safe.”
“Do you mean my cat? If so, you should be aware he isn’t into me anymore. They’re so fucking fickle.”
Grinning, I spot Monroe about to join me. She’s wearing a greedy look in her brown eyes.
“I appreciate your help, Aja.”
“No worries. Hope your girl’s mommy calls. I’m a sucker for happy endings.”
Not a fan of frilly goodbyes, Aja hangs up and leaves me to worry about what happens if Needy doesn’t call. Loving Monroe has been so fucking easy. That’s why breaking her heart is bound to rip apart mine.
MONROE
Conor has me worried. He’s hiding his feelings, taking secret calls, sending subtle signals to Bronco, and seeming all around sketchy. I’m afraid Uncle Clive is causing the Executioners trouble. Would Conor hide danger closing in around the edges of Elko?
“You want me so bad,” he teases when I pin him to the yard’s back gate.
“What’s going on with you? Are you dumping me?” We share a smile since my question is clearly bullshit. “Are you horny? Is that why you keep fiddling with your pocket?”
“What if I was?”
“We can go to the bathroom, and I’ll suck you off. Geez, how was that even a question?”
Conor’s battered knuckles stroke my right cheek. “Before you came into my life, I thought what I was missing could be found halfway around the world. I’m glad I stuck it out and waited for you to save me.”
“Wait, is something wrong? Why did you use the words ‘save me’?”
“I’m just saying I’ll be okay as long as I have you.”
Before I can sex him up for details, Topanga arrives with Dunning. Conor takes my hand and tugs me toward the grill area.
“Where’s Lowell?” Bronco asks when he realizes his VP hasn’t come with the other two.
“Dad’s changing his shirt, so he’ll look pretty for you,” Dunning taunts before snickering at his own joke.
“Smartass,” Bronco and Barbie say in unison.
Conor pretends he’s really into what Topanga brought to eat, but I know he’s dodging my questions. For the next thirty minutes, I follow him around. Finally, he gets really weird and walks to the front of the house. Conor keeps going until reaching his motorcycle parked in his driveway. Through it all, he remains silent while I follow.
“I can back off rather than have you ditch me,” I say, feeling like a stalker.
“No ditching. Climb on back.”
“I’m not wearing shoes.”
Conor gives me a quick kiss before explaining, “We’re only going to the lot where our future house will be.”
I climb on behind him before he rolls down the quiet streets inside the gated community. My heart thumps hard in my chest. I’m anxious about his behavior. Am I a nag? Should I back off? When I normally give Conor space, he pulls me closer. But maybe he’s hit his limit for together time.
“Tell me what you want,” I say once he parks in front of an empty lot backing up to the woods.
“I want you.”
“You have me, but something is still bothering you.”
Conor flashes me a tired look that I don’t understand. “This is where we’ll live one day. How do you feel about that?”
“I don’t care about the house. I just want to be with you.”
Conor studies my face. “I believe that.”
“Then, why do you sound as if you don’t?”
“How many people have you ever really loved?”
“You, my mom, and Zella,” I say and then add, “But I could see myself really loving Lowell, Topanga, and Dunning. Amity, too. With enough time, I could love a lot of people here.”
“But you never loved your aunt and uncle or guy cousins.”
“I cared about them, sure. Yet, I never trusted them enough to really love them.”
Sighing, Conor clearly wants something that my answer didn’t offer.
“Am I enough?” he asks finally.
“Enough of what?”
“I don’t know.”
Conor sighs again and looks at the dirt lot. “Doesn’t look like much, but it’s private back here.”
“When do you want the house built?” I ask, unable to imagine living anywhere except the Overlook.
“I don’t know. I was never in any hurry. Now, I feel as if I should be.”
“Why?”
“I need to build a home where you and I can be together in the permanent sense.”
“But you have all that space at your mom’s house, and I have my own room at the Overlook. Why do we need a big house when it’s just us?”
“A house can take up to a year to build depending on weather and the size. Do you still want to live at the Overlook a year from now?”
“I don’t know,” I say, sounding as unsure as him.
“We need to think of that stuff now. Wyatt wasn’t in a hurry to move out of his parents’ house. Then, DeAnna kept changing her mind about the house’s design. It took them forever,” he says, pausing before adding, “I can’t remember my point.”
“I suspect you’re using the house as a distraction from what’s really bothering you.”
“I don’t like not living with you.”
“It’s only been two weeks, and we’ve spent every night together.”
“It’s not enough.”
“Why can’t you move into the Overlook?” I ask, thinking he should just do whatever he wants since he’s the future president.
“You know why.”
“Club expectations.”
Seeming exhausted, Conor nods. “I want you to have everything. I didn’t expect to feel so overwhelmed by falling in love. It happened so quick and easy. But, now, I realize the downsides.”
Frowning, I wish he would explain what’s wrong. Rather than open up, he looks down at my bare feet.
“I ought to get you back,” he mutters and scans the quiet day.
“I can imagine one day, sitting in my backyard, looking at those swaying trees, and waiting for the sound of your motorcycle. I can almost picture a house and a little boy with your eyes. But I don’t need any of that to be happy. If you want me to move into your mom’s house, I’ll do it without complaint. She’s a pain in the ass, but she’s far better than many people I’ve lived with over the years. And she loves you with her whole heart. So, Conor, if you’re really stressed about houses and our future, please just chill the fuck out.”
Conor gives me a half-smile. “I tend to overanalyze things. It’s something I’m working on.”
Sharing his smile, I step closer to the motorcycle. Then, he startles me by flinching at a ringing sound. I frown when he pulls a burner phone from his pocket rather than his usual cell. For a second, I freak out at the thought of him having a sidepiece. Except Conor and I have been together for less than a month. If he has another woman, I’m more likely the sidepiece than her.
Conor’s expression shifts immediately when he hears the person's voice on the other side of the call.
“She’s right here.” I’m startled when he hands the phone to me. Conor holds my gaze and whispers, “Because you calm my heart, I’ll do anything for yours.”
Maybe I’m a moron, but I have no clue who is on the phone when I ask, “Hello?”
“Monroe?” Needy whispers, sounding scared yet hopeful.
“Mom?”
“I wasn’t sure this was real,” she whispers. “A strange woman gave me a phone with one number programmed in. She was speaking weird religious gibberish. But I realized she slipped your name into the nonsense. I can’t believe this is happening. Where are you?”
As much as I love my mom, I haven’t shared an honest conversation with her since she married that man. When Needy said she was happy in Kansas, I assumed she was lying. But what if that was the truth?
“I’m safe. I couldn’t marry the guy Clive picked. Not after how they sent you away.”
“What guy?”
“Doesn’t Aunt Immee tell you anything?”
“Of course not.”
“Where are you?”
“In the guest bathroom at the house. I didn’t want anyone hearing me.”
“Are you safe? Can you get away?” I ask before forcing myself to ask, “Do you even want to?”
Needy sighs. “It’s not so bad here, and I wanted Clive to give you a chance to move somewhere warmer.”
“Are you saying you don’t want to be there?”
“I want to be with you,” she says, and her voice breaks before she regains control of herself. “But that wasn’t an option offered to me. Either I helped out Clive, or you had to. I knew he wasn’t trustworthy, but I thought Immee was.”
“I love you,” I say, suddenly afraid she’ll hang up. “I miss you so much. Uncle Clive said I had to marry some lame fuck in Bismarck, so I ran away.”
“Who was the girl who gave me the phone?”
I look at Conor, still wary of telling my mom too much. Even if Needy can be trusted, who knows if the people in her life will force her to fess up details.
“I’m safe,” I say despite wanting my mom to instantly ditch her hubby and join me in Elko.
Needy remains silent, and I think she might hang up. “Did you go to your dad’s?” she finally asks. “That wasn’t him who answered.”
“How would you know? It was more than twenty years ago.”
“The man who answered sounded younger.”
“It’s Barbie’s son.”
“What about Bambi?” Mom asks, and I finally know who scared her off.
“She’s around. I headbutted her daughter recently.”
Mom laughs quietly. “My little tomboy is always willing to get dirty to stay in the game.”
“Can you leave that place?” I ask, panic rising in me again. “Do you want to? I could help you. We could be together. Is that what you want?”
“You’re the only person I’ve ever loved completely, Monroe,” Mom says, and I look at Conor. “I can try to run, but not for a while. Clive must have told Francis that you ran off. He’s been extra careful whenever I’m out of the house. They probably assumed you’d come here.”
“I knew that’s what they’d think, so I didn’t try.”
“That’s my girl.”
“I want to find a way to bring you here. Tell me that’s what you want, and I’ll find a way.”
“I don’t want you risking yourself.”
“Stop the martyr bullshit,” I mutter, losing the temper I inherited from her. “You made a deal with Clive, and he fucked you over. Do you want to leave, or do you want to stay? If you like it there, I won’t hate you. We can communicate with secret phones and emails. You can have your life there if that’s what you want, but you need to be honest.”
“Well, if you’re going to be a bitch about it, Monroe, then it sucks here, and the guy is really into butt action. So, yeah, if you can find a way to get me out, I’m all for it. But if it’ll put you in danger, it’s not worth trying.”
Smiling, I say again, “I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby. I’ve missed you so much. The women here are the most tedious cunts I’ve ever met. I had more in-depth conversations with the methheads in Georgia.”
“Then, I’ll find a way to bring you here. I don’t know how long it’ll take, but be ready.”
“There’s nothing for me here. I can go at any time with only what’s on my back.”
I think to ask if he hurts her, but the answer doesn’t matter. Mom wants to leave, and I’ll get her out. Not that I have any clue how.
Of course, based on what Conor went through to slip a secret phone to my mom, I suspect he might already have a few escape plans in mind.
CONOR
A burden lifts off my shoulders when Needy calls. Monroe hangs up and looks at me with eyes threatening tears.
“You’re a good man, Conor Jessup.”
“Happy?” I ask, loving the joyful expression on her beautiful face.
Her arms wrap around my waist as she relaxes against me. “I might cry for a minute. Let me try to get that under control.”
Holding Monroe against me, I look at the lot where our home will one day stand. I can imagine us here. A basketball hoop in the front so my honey can keep her skills sharp. Mom will likely take over the front yard, picking the bushes and flowers to plant. I can even imagine that son Monroe has her heart set on. I don’t know what she’ll do if our kid ends up sporting an innie versus an outie, but that’s a problem for another day.
“Thank you,” she says, tugging me down for a grateful kiss.
Before Monroe’s hand gets too comfy between my legs, I free my lips. “I have a plan to save your mom.”
“I know. You’re very smart,” she says, stroking me through my jeans. “I need you to fuck me. Let’s go to your house and get naked.”
No arguing with that plan, I climb on the Harley, and she slides on behind me. Her hands never stop fondling my cock. More than once, I nearly come before my dick is free from the confines of my jeans.
Once we’re naked and satisfied, I move Monroe’s hand from my dick to over my heart. “I don’t want to ask Lowell and Bronco for help with freeing Needy.”
“Because they’ll say no?”
“Because they’ll micromanage everything. Also, I feel as if they’re still testing me.”
Monroe bites at her lower lip, seeming unsure. “What if the men in Kansas hurt you?”
“You understand my life, don’t you? About how I could get hurt every day?”
Pouting now, she looks so young. Then, the fire returns to her dark eyes, reminding me of her father.
“I get that, but I refuse to celebrate how your life is in danger. Fuck you for thinking I should.”
“I never said that.”
“No, you did. I heard you,” she says, shoving a pillow between us. “Just for that, I refuse to suck you off for two hours. I hope you’ve learned your lesson.”
“I’m a smart guy, and I really love blowjobs. So, yeah, I learned real good.”
Smiling now, Monroe sighs. “I want you to save my mom and bring her here. But I’m also afraid that I’ll be the reason you get hurt. Getting fucked up,” she says, caressing the scars across my stomach, “for the club isn’t on me. That’s who you were before we met. It’s the man I fell for. Can you understand the difference?”
Turning over in bed, I kiss Monroe’s cheek. “Yeah, I get it, but Needy is my second mommy now. Isn’t that how marriage works?”
“She’s going to love you,” Monroe says, but worry clouds her gaze. “I’ve spent months wondering if she ditched me. Now, I know she didn’t, and I feel guilty for ever doubting her.”
Monroe’s pout reveals a shameful vulnerability that I can’t bear to see. Even as I kiss her, she sinks into her doubts.
“On some level, you probably needed to believe she left willingly,” I say, and Monroe frowns harder. “Knowing she was miserable with that man hurt more than believing she ditched you. Besides, it’s not as if you could have saved her.”
“I should have found a way.”
“Don’t make yourself responsible for crap you have no power over. I played that game plenty when I was little,” I say, and Monroe’s pout shifts into curiosity about my life. “My mom acts like a cranky bitch, and she is, but that’s not all she is. There were times when she got weird and would keep making me shower. Or, one time, I came home from school to find out that she sent away our dog. She just sensed he would attack me, so he was gone. Sometimes, my dad would get fed up and stay at the Overlook for days. Through it all, I believed I needed to keep Mom
calm or to make Dad understand her.”
“That’s too much stress for a kid.”
“But I loved her. Him, too. Mostly, I felt like it was my job to save Barbie. People were always rolling their eyes at her behavior. They acted like she was a joke. No one seemed to care. As an adult, I understand how they were coping with her after decades of being in her life. But I was a kid, and their behavior felt cruel. Didn’t they care how she cried at night? Or that she was scared of every little thing? Why weren’t they helping her?”
“Why didn’t they?” Monroe asks, gripping my hand.
“No one in Elko is enlightened about mental illness. The view is that only weak people see a shrink. Crazy behavior is a sign of failure and crazy runs in my family. The paranoia crippled my grandmother and led to her death. If Bronco hadn’t put his foot down, Mom never would have gotten on medication. It levels out her moods. Otherwise, she’d be flipping out about you right now.”
Monroe gives me a soft smile, probably thinking about how my mom gives her plenty of shit. “The medicine must help. Your mom seems feisty, not crazy. But I’m sorry you felt alone when you were little.”
“You’re an only child. Didn’t you feel alone?”
“Sometimes. My mom was my best friend. I loved spending time together. That’s why I didn’t believe she would ditch me,” Monroe says and then sighs and frowns at the ceiling. “But Aunt Immee said Mom needed a chance to focus on herself. Basically, she made it seem like I had been a burden that held Needy back. I didn’t think that was true, but I started wondering if I only saw things from my side. Like my mom never had any relationships except for that one when I was in elementary school. After she was gone, I realized I hadn’t considered if she was lonely. I started doubting what I knew about her. That’s why when Lowell didn’t immediately feel a connection, I got to thinking my mom was wrong. Or, worse, she lied. Now, I feel like an asshole for believing that.”
“But your aunt isn’t like a full-on bitch, right?” I ask, and Monroe shakes her head. “She said your mom wanted to be with that Kansas guy, and then you heard from Needy that she wanted to stay with him. They were gaslighting you. Of course, you started doubting what was real.”
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