His head thrashed on the pillow and he stilled, his face bearing a slight scowl. His large body arched off the bed, then dropped back down, and he made a grunting sound at the back of his throat.
“Stop…”
She cupped his contorted face between her hands. He gave a pained moan, and she tried to wake him. He thrust his hand beneath the sheets and grabbed at the bed covering. That was when she saw how hard he was.
“Killean, baby, wake up.”
She pressed her mouth to his. He gasped, then he stilled.
“What…?”
She leaned away and saw that he was awake. His breathing was shaky and hollow.
“Was it bad?” she asked.
“You left me,” he murmured.
“I just went downstairs for a moment.”
“I need you,” he said huskily. “Make me forget.”
She slid the sheets away, and he held his cock up so she could position her sex over him. She wasn’t ready yet and so he bruised her as he held onto her hips, pumping his cock into her. There was barely any friction yet, but that wasn’t the issue. Sex as a form of medicine would help Killean’s nightmares. He lifted his head to watch as his cock slid out and moved back in. It was so erotic to see, and she followed his gaze. Her taut flesh stretched apart to take him. That alone was enough to get her wet.
He gripped her hips and gazed up at her as though he was staring at the world for the first time.
“No, don’t move,” he uttered. “Just stay on me like this.”
She sat still, angling her hips so she could have him touching that oversensitive spot deep inside her. His cock grew more, and she laced their fingers together. Without warning, Killean rolled over so he had her beneath him. He gazed down at her, but no words were needed; his eyes conveyed everything his lips couldn’t. She sighed as he kissed her throat hungrily. His fingers caressed the curve of her jaw. She couldn’t control the contracting of her muscles, but from the look on his face he liked what her body was doing of its own accord.
“…feels, good. Pleasure me senseless, love,” he rasped.
She exploded around him, her chafed sex tightened, then released him in quick spasms. He groaned and came for her, filling her with hot thick spurts. He growled and pulled back before filling her again. The contact made wet sucking sounds, and she felt warm liquid running down the inside of her thighs.
He nuzzled her neck, and she cringed as hard flesh passed over chafed softness. Running her hands through his hair, she searched his eyes through the darkness.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He was still shaken from his explosive orgasm.
He shifted, drawing his knees up under his abdomen so he pulled out of her. Rocking back onto his behind, he took her with him as he fell back into the bed with a heavy sigh.
“I’m sorry love. I’m a beast.”
She couldn’t agree more. “Was it bad? The nightmare, I mean.”
He nodded. “Tonight I was lucky enough to get two in one. It was the foster home and my mother. When I was six years old, my mother blew into a rage because I had touched her jewelry and makeup set. I said I was sorry and she smiled at me. She held my face and then she slapped me so hard I thought I’d lost my vision. I ran and hid in the one place I knew she wouldn’t find me, in the trunk of her old car. When I came back a couple hours later, she had left bread on the table that our neighbor, a Frenchwoman, had baked, along with some cheese. Ms. James was always fond of me. I thought she had left it out for me as her way of apologizing, and then she appeared out of nowhere and yanked me off the chair. She used her leather belt to beat me so hard, no one saw me for weeks because there were bruises all over me, mostly on my back. That’s why I have those awful scars on my…”
He must have felt the tears from her eyes on his chest as his voice trailed off.
“Lila?”
He shifted, and she rolled away from him.
“I’m fine.” But her voice came out croaked. She couldn’t pretend that it didn’t bother her. His childhood had been a dark, cold, scary place. She tried to imagine any child being in a place like that and the image was revolting. How could a mother do that to her own flesh and blood? It made her think about the future of their children.
“Do you want children, Killean?”
“I do, but I can’t do it by myself. I work with a lot of orphanages and help many foster families to ensure they’re safe. It’s one of my main priorities. I’m sorry—I-I knew I shouldn’t have told you all this shit. Now you’re upset because of me. I don’t know why you insist on knowing all this shit. You know me; you don’t have to know the dark parts of me that make me fuck up.”
“I’m fine,” she said. “It’s not because you told me, Killean, it’s just that we are going to have—”
He took her in his arms and held her to him. “I know, Lila. I’m closed off because people always leave when they promise they’ll stay. But with you, I feel like I can tell you anything. You don’t look at me like I’m a mistake. You’re my anchor. Whenever you’re in my arms, the nightmares barely come close.”
His sweet words touched the strings of her heart, playing them.
“I knew you were special from the moment I first saw you. I may have gone about it the wrong way, but I knew I had to have you, make you mine.”
“I just want to know the lighter side of you and the darkness too, Killean. I am yours and you’re mine too…but I hope she is miserable and suffering,” Lila hissed menacingly. “Your bitch of a worthless child abuser of a mother.”
“I’m glad you feel as passionate about it as much as I do,” Killean said, shifting so she was more comfortable in his arms.
“Have you ever sought her out, to find out if she was dead or alive?”
His body went tense for a moment. “Once, a long time ago,” he said brusquely. “I found out she lived in New Jersey, but when I checked again, she’d moved. I never looked for her again.”
She lifted her head to kiss his chest.
“I’ve never told anybody this.”
“Not even Genevieve?”
“No, never. And she won’t ever know.”
It hurt Lila that he had to grow up facing his past alone. At least she knew Genevieve would’ve tried to help him through it. She loved him dearly, as though he was her own biological child.
“Jasmine?” she asked after a while longer.
“I never shared anything about myself with my ex-wife. We never had that kind of relationship. Jasmine was only interested in being close to me in public or in bed. She never knew the real me. It was actually a relief when we broke up.”
He turned to face Lila in the dark, his eyes sparkling twins. “It wouldn’t have worked out between us anyway, Lila. Jasmine was an eccentric woman. I think that was part of the reason I liked her. I sensed a part of myself in her. I realized that I hadn’t been entirely wrong. Money and power made her feel secure in this world; not even love could compare. As long as she had those two, she needed nothing else. I realized that later rather than sooner. By then our marriage was already over, but she kept fighting me for more chances. I didn’t know what to do.
“I’d been warned beforehand, but I thought I loved her. She was giving me what I wanted. She didn’t ask any questions about my past, and for me that was just perfect. We respected each other’s privacy and personal space. Sex wasn’t an issue, so I thought I was okay. Until I found out how insecure she had been. She had been stealing from me, building an account with more than three million dollars. She claimed it was a backup in case anything happened. She had all the information about my financial position.
“Finding out she was using me as her money bag didn’t hurt. It was the fact that she was pretending to be happy, and I thought I was all she needed. That cut me deep.”
“Killean, I’m so sorry.”
“But you…I will keep you safe by whatever means. Why can’t you understand that nothing has ever been so important to me in my
life?”
His voice was choked and she understood. Her chest tightened as his words sank in.
She chuckled. “I get it, Killean, I do. I can’t stay here.”
“Why? You don’t have to work. You have me.”
“That’s non-negotiable. I don’t want to depend on you financially. That thought makes me uncomfortable. That’s the worst way you could ever degrade me.”
“Money isn’t an issue for me, love.” His words were spoken earnestly.
“It is for me, Killean. I’m not you. I don’t have piles or chunks of it stashed somewhere so I could run off and buy an island and live forever without working.”
She saw his face harden in the dim lighting of the room. “Is that what you think? Do you know why I work so hard to have more? Do you think it’s from greed?”
His voice was tight. Shit, I’ve made him angry.
“It makes you feel secure and safe. It gives you control over everything and anyone, but not me.”
“Glad you understand,” he said dryly.
She rolled onto her stomach and eased herself up on her elbow so she could see him better. “You are one frustrating man, you know that, Killean Knight?”
“You make me frustrated, you witch.”
She laughed despite herself. She saw a faint smile pulling his lips to the side. Leaning forward, she pressed her lips to his. His mouth covered hers entirely, making those nerve endings sing, sensitizing her skin. The kiss deepened, and Killean lifted one strong hand to cup the back of her head so she couldn’t move. She moaned as he glided his tongue across her teeth before sucking her lower lip.
“The lips I love,” he whispered. “I ache to have them around my cock.”
The place between her legs jumped back to life, wanting his touch, his mouth. He looked at her as though she was the most precious thing in the universe.
“I love you, Killean.”
She saw his throat jerk, and he buried his face in the crook of her neck as she held him close. His phone on the nightstand vibrated. Killean groaned as he reached for it.
“Ron?”
Killean shot up so fast, reaching into the drawer for a clean pair of pants. He listened keenly, and Lila saw his expression turn murderous, and then he seemed to relax a little.
“What’s wrong?” she asked when he hung up.
“Jasmine is here.”
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FOUR
“Here here?” Lila cried.
He nodded. “It’s okay if you want to stay here. But I didn’t know where else to turn to accommodate her.”
“It’s fine, Killean. I’m not traumatized. I want to see her too.”
Lila waited inside his study with him. He sat at the table staring at his laptop. He surely couldn’t be working now. She rounded the table and saw that he had accessed the CCTV. She saw the footage from the private elevator to his penthouse. Michael and Ron held her between them. Jasmine glanced up into the camera, and Lila caught the expression on her face. She looked stressed, as though she was on some serious medication. Lila tried to gauge the expression on Killean’s face, but there was nothing.
The sound of the elevator caught their attention a moment later. Killean remained in his seat so Lila stayed too. She took a deep breath as the shadows loomed at the doorway.
“Leave us, I’ll take it from here,” Killean said impatiently.
Both men left, and Killean closed the door behind them. Turning, he took Jasmine’s hand and led her to the chair by the shelves. He thrust her into it harshly.
“You know, after you hunted me down like a madman, the least you could do was be gentle,” she said.
She turned her gaze to Lila and bit her lip. “You don’t look happy to see me, Lila. Should I apologize for accidentally pushing you off the stair?”
“Shut your fucking mouth and leave her alone,” Killean hissed.
“What are you going to do to me?” she asked. “Send me back to get ‘help’?”
He leaned forward with both hands over the armrest of the chair, forcing her to lean backward.
“Don’t mess with me, Jasmine. You of all people should fucking know me by now,” he said gruffly.
To their utter disbelief, she laughed. “Of course, Killean. This is just like you, always using your power to intimidate and frighten people. A long time ago you used to intimidate me too,” she leaned forward so their faces were inches apart, “but never again. I learned to take care of myself.”
He leaned away from her as though she’d bit him. “You mean you learned how to be self-sufficient by gold-digging me.”
She rolled her eyes. “What are you worth? Sixteen billion? Three million dollars is hardly a loss to you. Remember what I told you when I came back? When we met at that hotel room?”
Lila saw Killean’s back tense, and his eyes flickered to hers. Jasmine lifted her hand to her mouth.
“Oh my, was that supposed to be a secret?” she asked viciously. “Don’t worry, Lila, nothing happened. I was shocked too because the Killean I knew wouldn’t give a fuck about the woman waiting at home in his bed. I guess there is a first time for everything. Tell me how did you get him to be so self-righteous?”
“Why did you shove me down the stairs?” Lila found her voice.
“Why? Because you were in my way of getting him back. I admit my mistakes in the past, but everyone deserves a second chance, don’t they? But he wouldn’t understand. So I shoved you off, hoping you’d die. Then I would be his comfort, and in time he’d see that I’m worthy of his love again.”
“You mean worthy of his money again,” Lila corrected.
“I never loved you.”
Jasmine ignored him and continued to speak to Lila. “So, I’m curious. How did you change the great Killean Knight? Do you know him?”
“Yes, I know him.”
A mocking smile twisted her lips. “Oh? Do you know the darkest parts of him? Trust me, you don’t know him.”
“I do know him.”
“Really? Tell me, is he gentle in bed or does he fuck you till you can’t move? If I recall correctly, he’s a beast who objectifies women. How about those horrific nightmares he has where he wakes up and lashes out at you because he thinks you’re some sodomite named Jerry? There’s this monster inside him that eats at him. It makes him do things, inhuman things. Has he ever told you that inflicting pain turns him on? I suppose not. He’s fucking sadistic. Has he ever hurt you? Tied you up because he loved putting his women in bondage so that they’ll be at his mercy? It makes him feel ‘powerful.’”
Jasmine’s eyes seemed to grow hazy as if recalling the memory before a deranged laughter escaped her lips.
“I suppose you do know about it. When we first married, he hardly wanted to share our marital bed. He was scared I’d see his ‘weakness.’” She turned her gaze to him. “He’d just come for sex before conveniently disappearing to his office for work. You can’t have a normal life with him, Lila. He’s twisted in the head.” Lila stared down at the woman who hadn’t taken the time to understand the man she had trapped into a relationship. She didn’t look at Killean, though he prompted her to turn to meet his gaze.
“You don’t have to answer that. I had two miscarriages while I was with Killean. When I told him about the second pregnancy, he freaked out that there was no way in hell he could father a child, that he wouldn’t be a good father. I tried to tell him otherwise, but it was no good. It’s sad to say that we were both relieved when the miscarriage happened. Why are you looking at me like that, Killean? She deserves to know you’re not worthy of her love. I can tell that she loves you. I can see it in her eyes.”
“We both know you’re just doing this to hurt me.”
“Am I hurting you? It’s good because you didn’t spare me either. You think that money and power makes you feel safe, but how long will that last? You buy people just like you buy things. And then you say you have a soul. Fuck you and your soul.”
Lila could hea
r all her bitter resentment pouring out. It was good for her to free her heart. But she was hurting Lila.
“You should get away before it’s too late, Lila. You don’t need all this baggage. Let that bitch Katherine do it. And Tatyana, Sabrina, Aliya…by the way, did you fuck Katherine? I remembered when we were together that she always gave you the invitation with her eyes. That bitch can act. It was tempting for you, if I remember correctly. So did you do it?”
Lila had heard enough.
“What are you doing here in New York?” she asked.
“I was born here. I came back because I’ve missed it. California was a bore. So don’t think this has anything to do with you, Killean. Well, not entirely.”
“Excuse me. I need some fresh air.”
Lila spun on her heels and opened the door.
“Lila, wait.”
She strode out into the foyer past Ron’s office toward the elevator. Killean caught her as she pressed the call button.
“Lila, please. Don’t leave me.”
“You and Jasmine have unfinished business to take care of. I’m just in your way.”
“Don’t throw that shit at me. Not at a time like this when I need you the most.”
“Is it true what she said about the miscarriages?”
Killean ran his hands through his hair, looking distraught. Lila had her answer.
“Don’t leave without a detail.”
“I don’t need a bodyguard, Killean. Jasmine is home. She’s abusing your conscience, Killean.” She saw that horrified look cloud his eyes as what she said finally hit him hard. “Oh, you know what I mean! I’m not leaving.”
“Lila,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “You know how I feel about you. I brought you in there because I had nothing to hide. You walk out, you’ll let her think she won. I don’t want to give her that satisfaction. She pushed you down the fucking stairs. She wanted to hurt you. And nobody hurts what’s mine. Do you understand?”
Wicked Dirty Games (Dirty Billionaire Series Book 1) Page 27