Surprise flashed across her face. “Well, that would be a mistake.”
“Probably, but I may not have a choice. I should probably get to class if I don’t want to be late.”
“Yes, of course.”
When Wylder reached ConMus, she realized she wasn’t the only one who’d considered skipping, just the one who hadn’t followed through. Logan was nowhere to be found.
Class was a lot more boring without his running commentary, without the constant grins he threw her way. Even when they’d hated each other, he’d been fun to be around. They’d argued and fought, but it had meant they noticed each other.
In English, he hadn’t looked Wylder’s way once, and it made her feel like she didn’t matter to him at all.
Class ticked by at a slow pace until the bell rang, and she bolted out of her seat. Enough was enough. Logan couldn’t ignore her in class or skip another class to avoid her. That wasn’t how they rolled.
She ran from the building without a thought for her next class. She had to talk to Logan before this went on any longer. She had to clear the air.
Nicky had told her to grovel, and she was prepared to do just that. Without Logan coloring her mornings, they lacked vibrancy. Without his laughter, his kindness, nothing held any joy for her.
Not the Christmas decorations or the impending break from school. Not even the idea of performing in the Winter Review.
She hadn’t realized how big a part of her life he’d become over the last few months. They weren’t merely friends who’d tried and failed at the dating thing. It was more than that, and she’d make him see.
Logan wasn’t in his suite when she checked, but she found him sitting in the dining hall with a steaming coffee in front of him. Getting one for herself, she sat down in front of him, but he didn’t react to her presence, continuing to stare at the table.
At this time of the morning, they were the only students in here.
“Logan.”
He still didn’t look up.
“Logan, I need you to look at me.”
Agonizingly slowly, he lifted his gaze. “Wylder. What do you need?”
You, she wanted to yell. She sucked in a breath. “I’m sorry.” Her breath shook coming out. “Logan, I’m so sorry I broke your trust. I just… I never meant to lie to you. Do you believe me?”
He didn’t respond for a long moment. “I do. I know you wouldn’t intentionally hurt me.”
“Then you have to forgive me. My family asked me to give Luke time. They did it for him, and you know how important my family is to me.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face, looking more dejected than he had even when their music empire crumbled. “I know, but Wylds, my family is important to me too.”
“Luke needed time.”
“And I needed him.”
She shrank back at the sharpness in his tone. “What do you want me to do? Grovel? I can do that. Beg? I’m begging now. Logan…”
A sigh lifted his shoulders. “That’s the thing, Wylds, I know why you did it, and I do forgive you.”
She couldn’t have heard him right. “You do?”
“Sure, but that doesn’t change anything.”
“Why not?” She held back the tears threatening to break free. All she wanted was for Logan to look at her with wonder like he’d done so many times. No one had ever made her feel so seen, so much better than she truly was. Most people thought she was too much trouble to associate with, but he never had.
“My life is so complicated.” He ran a hand through his hair. “It has changed so much this year. My brothers and I… we need to figure out what’s next, how to come back from everything that has happened.”
“I can help you with that. The Winter Rev—"
“No, you don’t get it. With everything going on, I need to simplify my life.”
She knew what was coming, the moment Logan saw her as everyone else did. Her heart fell into her stomach, shattering into a million pieces before he even said the words.
“You’re anything but simple, Wylder.”
There it was. Logan transformed into a million other people, people Wylder always claimed didn’t matter. She’d never let their opinions bother her or change her. Their words hadn’t had the power to hurt her, burning through her until there was nothing left.
But then, she’d never been in love with any of them.
13
Two days.
Two days and Wylder could get off that stupid campus for a couple of weeks.
She didn’t go to the dining hall with her friends, and the way they’d looked at her made her feel like she’d murdered someone. But she just hadn’t been hungry. Was that a crime?
Apparently, for Wylder Anderson, it was.
The truth was she couldn’t handle the kinds of greasy and sugary foods she loved, not when her stomach was all tied up in knots.
When someone knocked on her bedroom door, she approached it cautiously, unsure who it could be when everyone who could stand her was eating dinner.
Her heart leapt into her throat when she pulled it open, only to realize it wasn’t Logan, just the guy who shared his face.
“What do you want, Luke?”
Luke dug his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Can we talk?”
She lifted a brow and pushed the door open wider. “Free country.” She turned back into her room and climbed onto her bed to wrap herself in a burrito blanket. “How did you get into the building, anyway?”
He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I acted like Logan and told the security guard I’d forgotten my keycard. Then I asked around to find out which room was yours.”
She leaned her head back. “Well, now there’ll be a rumor spreading through the dorm that either Logan has lost his memory or I’ve already moved on to the other Cook brother.” When he didn’t respond, she laughed. “No comment, Luke? No smarmy grin or offer to let me move on to you?”
“Not this time.” One corner of his mouth hitched up. “I’m not here for me.”
“I don’t want to talk about Logan.”
Luke sat on the corner of her bed. “He still won’t talk to me.”
“Did you consider cornering him in his dorm room when he only wants to sink into a blanket burrito and watch a stupid movie?”
He shot her an amused look. “I see why Logan likes you so much.”
“Liked, past tense. He’s not really on any better speaking terms with me than you at the moment.” She didn’t want to talk about Logan. Sitting up, she changed the subject. “How’s Sebastian?” She’d tried to text him so many times since the accident but hadn’t been able to.
“He’s doing better, though he’s a pain in the you know what.” He laughed. “He’s constantly angry about not being able to use his broken arm much, but the concussion symptoms are mostly gone. He’s just grumpy, but that’s not really anything new for him.”
That didn’t sound like the Bash she’d known. “He sort of has a right to be grumpy.”
“Yeah, probably.”
Enough of this. If Luke was here, it was for a reason. “Luke, why are you in my room right now?”
He considered her, his eyes searching. There was a sadness to him she hadn’t seen before. “Why didn’t you tell him? Logan… the moment you saw me at your parents’ place, I figured it was only a matter of time before Logan knew, but you didn’t tell him.”
“A fact he now hates me for.” She sighed. “It wasn’t for you.”
“I figured that. You don’t like me much.”
“Hashtag truth.” She hugged the blanket tighter. “Logan has been through a lot this year, and he needed a bit of time without the stress of being Luke Cook’s twin.” He opened his mouth to speak, but she kept going. “He was happy, Luke. For a small bit of time, I saw the weight lifted from his shoulders. I didn’t want to take that away from him.”
Luke was silent for a long moment before meeting her gaze. “Did you tell him that?”
“
He never gave me a chance.”
“Maybe you should force him to listen.”
She shook her head. “You don’t understand. He says I’m too complicated for him, that I don’t belong in his simplified life.”
Luke’s brow furrowed. “That doesn’t sound like my brother.”
She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “They were his words.”
“Well, did you tell him you loved him?”
Wylder’s eyes widened, and she shrank back on the bed. “How… what…”
“I’m not blind, Wylder. Plus, I’m friends with Becks now, and he said he could tell you loved Logan the moment you brought us to his house.”
“Okay, first, it’s totally weird you and Becks are all bromancy, but I am not talking about my relationships with you. It’s none of your business.”
“Probably true. I’m not as big of a jerk as you think, Wylder.”
“Mmhmm… says the guy who posted a video of me and his brother online despite the fact Logan would have never wanted that.”
“I had my reasons, but even so, I’ve regretted that every day since.”
“I’m sure you have. It ruined your career.”
Luke stood, his back to her. “You think I’m just this selfish jerk who never thinks of his brothers, don’t you?”
“If the shoe fits.”
He turned to face her. “I don’t care about anything as much as I care about Bash and Logan. Not even my music. You have a brother, don’t you understand that?”
That was the thing. She did. She loved Becks so much it was frustrating sometimes. And he loved her. Yet, he’d still called her up on stage against her will and forced music on her after she’d given it up. Did Luke have reasons like Becks once had?
Luke sighed. “Logan and I will be okay. Especially because I’m officially enrolled as a student here next semester.”
Wylder sat up. “Really?”
“Yeah, Sebastian seems to think it’s the best way to protect me from the media. The dorms are full, so I’ll be living with him, but for the first time in years, I’ll get to do something normal. I know Logan, and he’ll eventually realize it’s easier to forgive me than avoid me. We have our problems, but we’ll always be there for each other.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because the same can’t be said for you.”
“Oh, thanks.” Her eyes narrowed. “If that’s the wisdom you came to drop on me, you can leave now.”
“No, you don’t get it. Logan won’t just get over this, you have to make him. He needs you, Wylder.”
“I doubt that.”
Logan had been right. She made everything more complicated. Nothing was ever just simple, easy, not once she got involved. And he didn’t want that. There was nothing she could do to change his mind.
Luke let out a dramatic sigh. “Don’t be dumb. Logan might want simple, but it’s not what he needs. You brought something out in him that I have never seen.” He leaned down to meet her gaze. “Did you know I’ve been trying to get him on stage with me for years?”
She shook her head.
“He couldn’t do it. It wasn’t a choice. It was fear. Getting up and singing in front of people terrifies him. But you… it’s like you took away that fear.”
“No, I didn’t. He was still scared.” She remembered the deer-in-the-headlights look he’d had.
“But he overcame it. For you. Wylder, I’ve never seen him even try.”
“Really?”
Luke nodded. “When I saw that video of you two, that’s when I knew.”
“Knew what?”
“That he needed you more than he needed me.”
“No, that’s not—"
“True? It is, and it’s okay. I love my brother, but we’ve been all each other had for way too long. We can’t always rely on each other. I don’t care what he’s said to you or how many times he’s broken up with you, I’m asking you to fight him, fight for him.”
Wylder twisted her hands together. “What if I’m all out of fight?”
“Then you aren’t the girl I thought you were.” His eyes caught on the notebook beside her, the page she’d read way too many times the last few days. “What’s that?” He snatched it before she could stop him. “A song?”
Crossing her arms, she glared at him. “For the Winter Review.”
“What’s that?”
“Like a talent show. It’s right after winter break. Logan and I were supposed to perform.”
“This song?” He tapped the notebook.
Wylder only shrugged.
Luke’s eyes scanned the page. “It’s good.”
“Just good?” Apparently, they were done discussing Logan, and she hated the relief she felt at that.
He pointed to a pencil on the table next to her bed. “May I?”
“Go ahead.” Some people were protective of their songs, but Wylder didn’t mind suggestions if it made them better. Her ego wasn’t so big she thought her words couldn’t be improved.
Luke crossed something out and showed it to her. “Your chorus is just a bit wordy. Try taking out these connector words, and when you sing, hit your emphasis on the ‘see’ in we can see and stretch it out a bit.”
Wylder sang through the chorus with his suggestions, realizing he was right. It was snappier.
When she finished, she found Luke staring at her. “Do I have something on my face?”
He shook his head. “No, it’s just… that video didn’t really do you justice. You’re good.”
Her cheeks heated. “I’m really just a drummer.”
“No, I mean, I know your strength is drums, but your voice… do you plan on going into music eventually?”
“Not really. Well, not as a singer. I think I’m more of a behind the scenes fit. Maybe a producer.”
“No way. You should be seen, Wylder.”
She held the notebook to her chest. “What is it with you Cook brothers?”
“What?”
“You’re always pushing for more than I’m willing to give.”
Luke grinned. “Our charm, I guess. In the music industry, they always want more of you. I’m used to it. But I’m not kidding. You have a killer voice.”
“Yeah, well, no one will get to hear it in the review since I doubt Logan is dying to perform with me now.”
“Is that why the song isn’t finished?”
“Pretty much. We were writing together. It’s really his vision and I feel funny about working on it without him even though I’ve put as much into it as he has.”
“I’ll help you finish it.”
“Really?”
He shrugged. “Why not?”
If anyone told Wylder a year ago that she’d be sitting here about to write a song with Luke Cook, she wouldn’t have believed them. She’d loved his music, loved him. But that was more of an adoration. It was nothing like what Logan did to her when he was near. Sure, they looked the same, but Luke wasn’t him.
And yet… she wanted to finish the song. “I can’t seem to get the third verse right.”
Luke sang through what Wylder had. His voice wasn’t bad, surprisingly for a guy who lip-synced at his concerts and had his twin record his music. It was average, no special quality to it, not like Logan’s. “You should have a guitar riff here, before you launch into the third verse and bring it home.”
“I don’t play guitar.”
“I do.”
“So, that’s not fake?” She lifted a brow.
He laughed. “No, I can shred pretty epically actually.” He scratched out a line and rewrote it. “How is that?”
You came back to me,
but now I’m questioning everything we can see
on the long road in front of us
She sang the verse a cappella. “I like it.”
They shared a smile as the door burst open.
“Okay, Wylder, I’m ready to talk—" Logan frozen in the doorway, his eyes bouncing from Luke to Wylder to t
he notebook between them.
Wylder jumped from the bed. “Logan, wait…”
But he didn’t listen as he turned on his heel. Wylder knew what he’d seen. Her replacing him with his brother and working on their song. But he’d refused to talk to her since they sat across from each other in that dining hall. She hadn’t even known if he’d be willing to finish the song.
She refused to feel guilty for trying.
And still, she needed to go after him, to take the look of betrayal from his eyes.
14
“Logan, wait!” Wylder chased him into the hall. “It’s not what you think.” She ignored the students stopping to stare at her.
“You’re way off, Logan.” Luke came up behind her—not helping the situation at all.
“Am I?” Logan whirled around, his eyes bright with anger. “So I didn’t just walk in on you finishing our song with him?” He pointed at his brother but kept his accusing stare on Wylder.
“Hey, I was just offering my two cents, bro.” Luke threw his hands up. “No need to get all torn up about it.”
“You stay out of it, Luke.” Logan shot back, still not looking at his brother.
“Look.” Wylder took a step back. “You two need to talk this out. You’re not mad at me for working on our song with Luke. You’re not that petty. But you are mad at Luke about that video, and nothing is going to get resolved until you two hash it out.” She shoved Luke toward Logan.
“Now?” Luke looked back at her in horror.
“Yes, now.” She put her hands on her hips, refusing to acknowledge the students peeking their heads into the hall to watch the drama unfold.
“Wylder, this isn’t the time.” Luke glanced around the crowded hallway.
“No, she’s right.” Logan turned to his brother, crossing his arms over his chest. “Come on, Luke, let’s have it.”
“You don’t want to do this, Logan.” Luke seemed to grow taller as his fury rose to match his brother’s.
“Oh, I think I do.” Logan took a step forward.
“Jenna Hale, you put that phone down right this second!” Wylder marched toward the girl, who scrambled back into her room. “You won’t like where I shove my foot if I see it again!”
Wylder and the Rising Rockstar (Reluctant Rockstars Book 3) Page 11