by Rose, Renee
“This,” I murmur in awe.
“What, baby?”
“Nirvana,” I gasp.
We found it. The highest state of consciousness. Of ecstasy. Of pleasure.
Titus grips my ass harder, fingers digging into the flesh. He gives my cheek a slap.
Time starts again. Or I should say the time bomb starts ticking.
Need licks through me like flames.
I have to come.
Now.
“Sunny,” Titus grates. His voice is beyond rough. His expression pained.
“Ready?” I gasp.
“Fuck, yeah.” He pulls me down harder, jacks up to meet me. I’m bouncing on his lap, my small breasts jiggling, my breath cut short with each magical thrust.
“Please,” I whine, even though I know it’s coming.
“Fates, yeah,” he shouts.
I bounce higher. My eyelids flutter as I lose the ability to focus. To breathe. To remember my name.
And then we both come. My screams mingle with his roar, echoing off the canyon walls and coming back to us as the reverberation of our climax echoes through our bodies.
When we stop moving, I collapse against him, into his arms, my head on his shoulder, unable to even keep my own head up.
When my consciousness returns, Titus is rocking me slowly from side to side, murmuring, “Beautiful female. Wonderful, magical female.”
My heart feels like it will burst wide.
And then I know with total certainty—
I am loved back.
Chapter 11
Titus
We meet the charter bus and the shifter refugees the next morning in a dirt parking lot at the juncture of three highways. The black wolf pack show up in two Humvees and Deke’s Mercedes G63. Whatever their jobs really are or were, they have plenty of money.
The refugees climb out of the vehicles. Even though they’ve been free for six weeks now, they still wear shell-shocked, wary expressions. I catch their strange, mixed scents—a jumble of animals, nothing that makes sense. It’s just like the misfit shifters from California. Alpha Green asked those three to come up to Wolf Ridge and meet the bus, so these new refugees will have shifter’s who have been through what they have to advocate for them and help build trust.
“We’re going to provide escort to Arizona,” Rafe tells me. “Make sure you arrive safe.”
I shake his hand. “Thank you.”
A young female walks up with a baby bunny cupped in one hand. Her head is bent, her soft dark ‘fro making a halo around her face, and she’s murmuring softly to the animal.
“Oh how sweet!” Sunny chirps. “Is it hurt?”
The female looks up in surprise, then ducks her head again. Her warm brown skin glows as she cuddles the creature. I get the Disney princess reference. No one would blink if she burst into song. “No. I’m just saying goodbye.”
Sunny smiles as if this is the most normal thing in the world.
“Hope you don’t mind animals,” Rafe mutters. “Allison made friends with just about every creature in the area. Even prey animals were hanging around our door.” He shakes his head but an underlying gentleness and affection shows through. Like he really got to know and appreciate these shifters.
The last of my reservations about him disappear.
“Fuck, Allie, you gonna bring the menagerie?” A short, pale female shifter with a nose ring and a mohawk of black hair stalks up. She crosses tautly muscled arms over her chest and sunlight flashes on the huge skinning knife she’s carrying.
I step between her and Sunny.
“Don’t be silly, Fiona,” Allison says, and puts the wild rabbit down. “Go on,” she encourages until it hops off. Allison heads over to Fiona, and hugs her side, laying her head on the tiny goth woman’s shoulder, ignoring the knife.
“Thank fuck,” Fiona says fondly, winding her free arm around Allison’s shoulders. “They like you, but whenever they got close to me they peed themselves. I’ll buy you a stuffed animal at the gas station.”
Rafe clears his throat. “Who says you’re allowed off the bus when we stop for gas?”
“Deke, actually.” Fiona tosses her chin in the direction of the crazy wolf. “I told him Allison would cry if she didn’t get a Taos key chain. He promised.”
“Sure he did.”
“Oh, Rafe, please,” Allison coos.
Rafe rolls his eyes. “Fine. Get you off my back.”
Fiona points her knife at him. “You’re gonna miss us. Admit it.”
I clear my throat as Rafe shakes his head. “Time to get on the bus. Load up!”
“You gonna be okay, baby?” I steer Sunny to her VW.
“Of course,” she goes up on tip-toe to kiss me on the nose. So fucking cute. I hook her close and claim her mouth.
An “oooOOOoooo” chorus goes up from the peanut gallery. I give them the finger and Allison and Fiona both cackle.
“Until later.” Sunny gives me her signature smile and climbs in the bus. I follow her on my bike, swallowing down my own sense of foreboding.
Sunny and I still haven’t spoken about the future.
About what happens after we get to Arizona.
All I know is I don’t want to say goodbye to her. My wolf probably won’t let me.
But I also can’t figure out how to keep her either. Even if she were the type to settle down—which she isn’t, thanks to her asshole ex-husband—I can’t exactly bring her into my pack. It’s forbidden.
So where does that leave us? Me trying to convince her long-term relationships can work? It would have to be away from the pack. Maybe moving into her Airstream, hoping that as long as we stay mobile and tour the arts and crafts scene, she won’t feel pinned down?
That’s crazy, though. I don’t even fit in that Airstream. It creaks every time I set foot in it. I have to duck to walk. And I’d probably go nuts.
But you’d be with Sunny, my wolf argues.
True. Very true.
I resolve to talk to her about it when we get to Wolf Ridge. After my mission is complete.
* * *
Sunny
The drive from Taos to Phoenix is hot. Mountains melt into desert and the air outside grows increasingly more stifling. We pass through Navajo land. I keep catching myself gnawing my lip.
It’ll be fine. I release my chokehold on the steering wheel. I’m just meeting Titus’ entire pack. No biggie.
But by the time we pull into the parking lot of Wolf Ridge Rec Center, the concrete in my stomach has settled in to stay. Calm down. I jump out of my bus to assist my new shifter friends.
Fiona is already off the bus, a pitifully small bag slung over her shoulder. These shifters had nothing. Not even clothes to wear, if Fiona’s makeshift outfit is anything to go by. She looks like she cut up a big man’s t-shirt and a pair of running shorts to fit her. That’s right, focus on helping.
When Allison steps off the bus, she stumbles. A lanky male catches her, his cheeks flushing as they both straighten. When Allison thanks him, he flushes and stammers, “W-w-welcome.”
“You’re sweet,” Allison tells him and his thick glasses steam. His ears practically combust. “I’m Allison.”
“I’m Laurie,” says the tall male.
“Allie, quit flirting,” Fiona says. “I need the little puppies room.”
Allison blushes.
“I’ll show ya where it is.” A dark-haired guy steps up, flashing white teeth.
Fiona’s head snaps around. “You’re Irish,” she accuses.
“That’s right. Name’s Declan.” He puts his hands up like she’s threatened him. She’s still holding the long knife, so she might. “Pleased to meet ya. And might I say, ya are the most beautiful shifter I’ve ever seen.”
Fiona narrows her eyes him. She points the knife. “Back off, whiskey dick.”
“All right, all right.” He retreats, muttering something about a “fecking violent leprechaun.”
“I see you’re making fr
iends,” I tease Fiona.
“What? Oh, he’ll be fine.” But Fiona scowls in Declan’s direction. “I was just messing with him.”
“He’s cute,” Allison says. “Not my type,” she pets the tall, gangly guy beside her. “But you two looked good together.”
“And I thought I was a matchmaker,” I say. “You called that pretty quick.”
“When Fiona likes someone she picks a fight,” Allison informs us. “It’s a test.”
“I see. To me, it looked like you wouldn’t touch his ten-foot pole,” I joke. Everyone’s eyes widen and I realize what I said. “I mean”—I wave my hands wishing I could rewind thirty seconds—“you wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole.”
“I was gonna say, ten feet? Damn, woman.” Fiona whistles. “Maybe I will go after him.”
“Mhhmmm.” Allison turns to me. “Sunny, do you have that willow bark? I know I’m a shifter, but I get these headaches.”
“I get headaches too,” Laurie murmurs, blinking at Allison. He looks like he’s seen an angel.
“I have the willow bark in my bus,” I say. “I’ll get it.”
Allison thanks me and shoots Laurie a smile that rocks him back on his feet.
Do all shifters pair up this fast? I guess when you find your mate, that’s it.
A prickle in my shoulder makes me cover the bite Titus gave me with my hand. I’ve never had a man be so rough in the bedroom, but I love it. The marks are healing nicely, but I’ll make him rub calendula or arnica cream on it later. Maybe both.
I’m rummaging around in my herb closet when Titus’ voice rumbles through the walls. I twitch aside the curtain. The window badly needs washing, but Titus’ bulk is recognizable. He’s talking to another big guy in slacks and a button-down and he looks tense.
Titus grew silent and remote the last leg of the journey. My gut says it’s over me. Us.
Is he worried about this being the end for us? I’m starting to feel like it doesn’t have to be. We still have the trip down to Tucson together. And what if… what if we could stick together a while longer? I don’t know how, but damn, it seems like for the first time, there’s a man worth giving up my independence for. Giving my trust and heart to.
* * *
Titus
Fuck. I noticed the nasty glance Alpha Green sent my way when he saw Sunny’s bus. I don’t know why I didn’t include her in any of my reports.
Yes I do.
I was a fucking coward, that’s why.
So here I am again. Letting a female blind me to my responsibilities to my pack. I could lose everything again, here.
“Interesting friends you made up there,” he remarks, his eyes traveling not to the refugees, but to the black wolf pack. Of course, I can’t help but wonder if he’s also talking about Sunny.
“Yes. They play it close to the chest. I believe they can be trusted, but it took a long time to get a read on them.”
“So they’re mercenaries, basically. Dangerous jobs for hire? Did you get the feeling they’d be sticking around up there?”
“I believe so, but they never revealed the location of their compound. I heard from one of the females that Lightfoot and his brother are from that area originally, but they joined the military right out of high school and haven’t been back until now.”
“And the human?” Alpha Green spits the word human as if he’s talking about dog shit on his lawn.
My wolf nearly lets out a growl.
Fuck. I need to get it under control. I’m talking to my Alpha. The most important person in my sphere. I cannot allow my irrationality when it comes to females affect me.
“What is she doing here?”
“She, ah, got caught up in things.”
“She knows about us.” Green’s voice is flat. Not a question. I can’t deny the truth. I may avoid certain topics, but I’m not a liar. Especially not to an alpha.
“Her daughter is a fox shifter. Of course Sunny figured things out.” It’s mostly true. She had it half-figured out before I nearly turned moon-mad and bit her.
“I mean, she knows about us, specifically. This pack. You should’ve asked for permission to bring a human into Wolf Ridge. To our private compound. This isn’t like you, Titus. I expect more.”
I’m hit by a wave of nausea—a visceral reaction to the condemnation of my alpha. All the memories of being called before the council of my previous pack. Receiving their physical attack, and then the more debilitating one of banishment come flashing back. My shame. My inadequacies as a father to protect my only pup. Losing my faith in my own ability to make good decisions.
Now I’m in the same place again.
“I guarantee she won’t talk. Her daughter’s part of the Tucson pack. She’s pack family. But I’ll get rid of her,” I hear myself say. My own voice sounds like it’s coming from a hundred miles away. Thin and empty. “No problem.”
“You sure? Because I saw that mark on her neck.” Green’s eyes narrow. He’s studying my face, and I can’t seem to school my features. I don’t even know what to show. What to say.
All the while, I’m fighting my wolf, who is howling, fucking howling inside at this betrayal of our mate.
I try to answer but my mind is blank. My tongue ten sizes too big.
“You have something to tell me?”
I shake my head dumbly. “Uh… no. We had a fling. The moon was full and I lost control, but it didn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean anything.”
Now I’m really going to puke. It’s like I just tore my wolf from my humanity. Separated the two parts of myself that have always been in harmony. Heat and cold flush through my body. My organs twist and shiver.
“She’s a human, like you said.” My lips are somehow still moving even though I’m about to pass out. “And she doesn’t stick around.”
* * *
Sunny
What? I stagger back from the window, my hand on my chest. I’ll get rid of her. Shot to the heart. Hurts worse than a bullet. After everything we shared together, I can’t believe Titus would dismiss us so quickly.
It didn’t mean anything.
Right. There is no us. I was a fool to think a guy with that many issues could commit.
Alpha Green says something I don’t catch. I’m too busy pressing my palm against my aching chest, breathing hard. This is just like Jack all over again. I’ve been deemed unworthy by my faulty biology. Not good enough.
But the pain I’m feeling is my own fault. I did it. I let him in, and this is how it feels.
Like dying.
“I’m committed to the pack,” Titus says. Of course he does. This is why he can’t commit to me. Not that I ever asked him to. Not that we had any kind of committed relationship at all.
But still. Being summarily dismissed as a lowly human he has to get rid of goes straight to my sorest spot.
I don’t stay to hear any more. I blunder back to the charter bus, where Fiona has invited Declan back, only to berate him more about his accent. I feel Titus coming over, so I insert myself into their group and lean towards Allison.
“Sorry.” My voice comes out thick. “I don’t have any willow bark after all.”
Fiona frowns. “Sunny, are you okay?”
“Don’t mind me,” I wave my hand dismissively. “Long day.”
“Real grateful to you boys—” Titus’ voice booms and I fall silent. He’s a few yards away, shaking Rafe’s hand.
I want to be anywhere but here. I will myself invisible.
Allison steps forward, her face shining. For a second it looks like she’s going to give the big military man a hug. “We just wanted to thank you—”
“No problem,” Rafe cuts her off, retreating before she can touch him. His guys are already loaded up in their Humvees. Deke’s G63 kicks up dust as he speeds off.
Right. Wolves don’t like associating outside of their pack.
Rafe lowers mirrored shades, nods to Titus and Alpha Green before leaping into his brother’s
Humvee.
“Bye-bye, black wolves,” Allison murmurs. She doesn’t seem too upset at Rafe’s stand-offishness.
I inch around to the outskirts of the group.
“All right, everyone,” Alpha Green booms. “We’ve got sandwiches and drinks inside, and a bunch of my pack are figuring out places you can stay. And as soon as we can, we’ll get information from everyone to reconnect you with your families and get you settled, wherever you want to go.”
Shifters start drifting in the direction Alpha Green pointed.
“Titus”—Alpha Green waves—“gonna need you inside.”
“Coming.” Titus pivots in place, searching the crowd. His face is pale and drawn. Aura a brown-gray.
I shrink behind the bus. My hands are clammy, my head swims with the start of a killer migraine. He’s looking for me. Of course, he could scent me out if he wanted, but after a few seconds he shrugs and heads inside the building. Almost everyone is gone.
“I’ll get you some aspirin,” Laurie tells Allison, offering his hand. She takes it and Laurie puffs up to his full height. Declan and Fiona head inside, Fiona’s lip curled in a sneer as she banters with him.
Palming my keys, I get into my bus. Better to slip out now, before anyone notices. I need to get out of Wolf Ridge. Away from Titus.
He doesn’t want me.
The cold thought keeps me going the full two and a half hours until I pull into the driveway outside my daughter’s house.
Voices murmur inside. I knock.
A second later, my daughter’s bright head fills the doorway. “Mom?” When she sees my face, her eyebrows pinch in worry under the mermaid colors of her hair.
Then and only then do I let my face crumple and begin to cry.
Chapter 12
Titus
The heaviness of my lies to Alpha Green coat my mouth. I keep trying to tell myself it was for Sunny’s own good. To keep Alpha Green from worrying about her, or possibly asking me to get her mind wiped by a vampire.