Tomorrow night is prom. Prom! My dress is one I borrowed from Avery, but I like it. Mom wanted to take me shopping for a real prom dress, but I know she needs to save her money for college. I am so proud of her for going back to school, even if it means I’ll be doing more of the cooking next year.
I head to Ms. Helen’s house; I haven’t been to see her all week. It was too crazy getting ready for regionals and my speech and figuring out prom. I feel bad about it, but I didn’t know what to say. Now I do. There is an enormous truck blocking the driveway and Ms. Helen is sitting on the porch with Sherman at her feet.
“Jessica! How wonderful that you’re here!”
“I’m sorry I haven’t been over to walk Sherman lately.”
Ms. Helen waves away my apology. “No matter. I am glad you’re here now.”
I sit on the bench next to Ms. Helen. Sherman wags his tail, but for once remains still.
“I need to tell you something.”
“Oh?” She runs her hand over Sherman and then glances at a man carrying a box past us across the porch. “What dear?” She smiles her grandma smile that makes her eye twinkle.
I thought she would be there at the school for my speech, but she wasn’t. “I know I already told you I’m sorry and I know that changes nothing, but what you said about part of Coach being in me now… that’s what I hope…. and I just want you to know that I don’t expect you to forgive me.”
“Oh Jessica, you don’t need my forgiveness,” Ms. Helen whispers. There are tears on her cheeks.
“Yes, I do,” I insist.
She shakes her head. “Oh, dear, I forgave you a long time ago—for Robert. He would want me to.” Ms. Helen takes my hand and pats it. She smiles through her tears. “Now, comes the hard part—forgiving yourself. I know that won’t be easy for a young person like you. I can see that now. But it’s important that you do.” Ms. Helen releases my hand; she looks at me very seriously. “You need to remember that it was one careless mistake.”
“It was more than careless.”
“It was human,” says Ms. Helen. She looks at me with such obvious affection that I have to look away. “You are human. A beautiful human from what I can see.”
My words stick in my throat, and I shake my head. I want to say she’s wrong, insist I am not, but I also want to believe her. I want to be the person she thinks I am. I know if I open my mouth to speak the tears will come and she must know that too because she pulls me into a hug and says, “There now. I’m an old person; you have to believe me.”
She laughs and as she lets me go, she eyes Sherman who has gotten up. He’s ready for his walk. “Now I have a serious question to ask you.”
I wipe the tears away with the back of my hand and nod.
“Can you take Sherman?”
“What?”
Ms. Helen gestures around her. “I’m moving. I don’t need this enormous rambling house. I’m moving to a condominium in a development just for old people like me. I plan to take water aerobics and join the knitting guild.”
“Really?”
“Really. I’m ready to take it easy. But I can’t take Sherman. Even if I could, I wouldn’t. He’s too much dog for me. He needs someone who can keep up with him. Someone like you.”
I look at Sherman who regards me with his deep brown eyes.
“I guess I can take him. If my mom won’t let me have him, he can live with my dad’s dogs.”
“Splendid!” Ms. Helen claps her hands.
I walk home clutching the bag of Sherman’s belongings and the leash attached to Sherman. For once the dog doesn’t pull. Sherman walks contentedly beside me.
63
LIZ
When I get home from work on Friday, Jess is in the backyard with Helen Mitchell’s dog. I look around for Helen, half expecting to see her sipping lemonade on the porch. When Jess first started walking her dog, I used to follow her. I was suspicious. It seemed an odd request. But she only walked the dog around the block and returned to the Mitchell’s house. Then she would sit on Helen’s front porch for a bit. I have wondered what they talked about, but I trusted Helen. When I told Kevin what Jess was doing, he said I should stop worrying. He said Helen Mitchell was the only reason there would not be a civil suit. She had to fight her children about it.
When I asked Jess about her time with Helen, she said, “She just needs me to walk Sherman. He pulls a lot.”
“Why is Sherman here?” I ask now.
“Ms. Helen gave him to me,” Jess says and the dog jumps on me, smearing mud on my dress pants.
Jess pulls him off. “Sherman, no!”
“What do you mean she gave him to you?”
“She’s moving and she can’t take him.”
“Why does that mean you have to take him?”
“I want to take him.”
“You agreed to take this dog without even asking me?”
She looks down at Sherman, frowns. “I didn’t think you’d mind.”
“You’ll be going to college in another year and then who takes care of him?”
“He can go to Dad’s. Willard and Homeboy will love him.”
I frown. I don’t want to be the bad guy. I am tired of that role. I look at the dog. He seems to smile at me.
“I need to do this. I need Sherman.”
“You don’t need a dog.”
“Yes, I do. He’ll help me remember what I said in my speech about being different now.”
Her smile gives her away; she is playing me. Jess has always wanted a dog, but I have held out. I am responsible for enough. “I don’t think you need a dog to help you remember.”
“Still,” she says, looking up at me hopefully.
I sit down on the porch steps and she sits beside me. Sherman lies down at her feet and rolls over for her to rub his belly. I realize she is different, with or without the dog’s help. I am different too. I am finished withholding forgiveness and clinging to my anger and fear like some kind of sick armor to shield my heart.
“So, are you and Kevin back together?”
I nod.
“I’m glad,” she says.
“You are?”
“Yeah. He’s good for you. Plus, I like the idea of having a shark lawyer for a step-dad.”
“Nobody said anything about marriage, but just in case, what would you think about a stepbrother?”
“For real?”
I nod. “Kevin’s ex-wife is having his baby.”
She wrinkles her forehead. “I thought he was divorced.”
I nod. “It’s a long story, but yes, he is divorced.”
She shrugs. “I guess that would be cool. I like little kids. It’ll be good for you to have Kevin and a baby when I leave for college.”
“It will be,” I say.
Jess tosses a ball for Sherman and we watch him chase it. Instead of bringing it back, he lies down in the grass and chews on the ball, making a steady squeak, watching us.
I put my arm around her, pull her close. “Just so you know, I’m not picking up dog poop.”
She grins at me. “Thanks, Mom.”
“I bet your granddad will love him.”
“When is he moving to Morningside?”
“After Kate gets back from Yellowstone, she’s driving him here.”
“He likes dogs?”
I nod. “Loves them.”
“I knew there was something about him I liked!” She grins at me, then claps her hands. “C’mon Sherman! I want you to meet Dylan!”
I watch them disappear through the gate into the neighbor’s yard. Is forgiveness that easy? Is it that hard? I think of Jake today. I picture his easy smile. He is a good guy. He loves his daughter. He has stayed that same solid, what-you-see-is-what-you-get guy I knew when we walked the halls of Jefferson. He never pretended to be anything else.
As if he knows I am thinking of him, Jake materializes around the side of the house. He is carrying a bottle. “I brought champagne! It’s time to celebrate!” He grins his double-dimple grin. I laugh as he pops the cork, and it flies into the backyard. The bottle spews champagne, so he chugs it. Jake. I smile.
After I retrieve glasses, he fills them both.
“To Jess,” he says and we clink glasses.
“To us,” I say and he gives me a questioning look. “For surviving this and coming out of it friends.”
He smiles. “I’ve always been your friend, Lizzie. Always will be.”
“I know,” I tell him. “It’s just sometimes I forget.”
Jess comes back across the yard with Sherman in tow.
“Dad! Meet Sherman!”
— — —
Saturday morning, I take Jess to have her nails painted. On a whim, I get mine done too, even though I will have to take it off before I go to work on Monday. They do not allow aides at Morningside to wear polish.
Jess looks like a fairytale princess after Avery has twisted her hair up into impossible knots that give Jess another two inches (on top of the three she will add with the heels Avery loaned her), she sprays it with glitter and arranges a few daisies to hide the pins.
“Wow!” says Jess when she sees herself in the mirror in my bathroom.
“Serious wow,” I agree.
Jess perches on the counter in her robe and lets me apply eye makeup and blush. She could easily do it herself, but I like that she is indulging me. In so many ways, I feel like I have my daughter back, but she is not the little girl who followed me like a shadow or the surly teen who couldn’t lose me fast enough, she is a beautiful young woman who is teaching me the art of forgiveness.
Jake arrives, and Jess goes to put on her dress.
“I think I should have a little talk with Casey when he gets here,” Jake tells me as we wait on the new porch. Avery ran to pick up the boutonniere we forgot to order for Casey.
“No, you don’t,” I tell Jake. “He and Jess are a lot smarter than we were.”
“It has nothing to do with the brain,” Jake says.
And then Jess appears, and he has no words. She twirls for us and Jake coughs to hide his tears.
Avery returns just in time to see Casey pull up.
“Damn, girl,” she says to Jess. “I’m impressed.”
Jess blushes.
He appears on the step with a beautiful corsage. His curly hair has been tamed by a professional, and his expression when he sees Jess is one of a boy who realizes just how lucky he is. He is handsome in a tux with a cummerbund in the same shade of blue as Jess’ dress. They pose for pictures in the backyard. Dylan even crashes our little gathering and gets in on a few of the shots. My favorite is the one where Jess has an arm around each of them and Casey is looking at her with sheer admiration while she and Dylan are cracking up at some inside joke.
“They look like us,” Jake whispers beside me.
“But they are not us,” I reply.
“Being us wouldn’t be so bad.”
I lean my head against his shoulder. “Nah, it wouldn’t.”
“You ready to have your dad at Morningside?” Jake asks.
“It will be easier to take care of him, and maybe it will mean we see more of Kate.”
“And what about your lawyer? I’m guessing we haven’t seen the last of him?”
“Probably not.”
“Good for you, Lizzie. I’m glad,” he says, and I can tell he means it.
We watch Casey escort Jess to the car. He holds the door for her like a gentleman, and she laughs at his efforts. They are so young; they do look like Jake and me at that age. I wonder if he will hurt her and know inevitably that he will. But I think my daughter is way ahead of me. She knows that forgiveness is the bigger part of love.
After they leave, Avery takes off too. She has a date with a new guy she met at church. “But he’s no Casey Miller, I’ll tell you that,” she says. “He’s gonna need some training.”
Jake whistles for Sherman. “I’m going to take him to meet his new fur brothers.”
I roll my eyes. “Just so long as he doesn’t come back smelling like them,” I tell him.
My phone lights up with a text from Kevin.
“Be there soon.”
I smile. My heart is happy.
THE END
NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
Word-of-mouth is crucial for any author to succeed. If you enjoyed Blind Turn, please leave a review online—anywhere you are able. Even if it’s just a sentence or two. It would make all the difference and would be very much appreciated.
Thanks!
Cara
AUTHOR THE AUTHOR
Cara Sue Achterberg is the author of several novels and memoirs, including One Hundred Dogs & Counting: One Woman, Ten Thousand Miles, and a Journey into the Heart of Shelters and Rescues. She is a blogger, foster dog mom, and the founder of Who Will Let the Dogs Out. Cara lives on a hillside farm in Pennsylvania but pines for the mountains of Virginia.
For more information visit CaraWrites.com.
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