by Jamie Begley
“No. He’s the last person I would talk to.”
“Why?”
“Why put those nightmares in his head?”
“Because he loves you,” she said simply. “Viper is strong enough to share your pain.”
“He’s not strong enough to stomach what I went through.”
“I see.”
“No, I don’t think you do.”
“You can’t touch women anymore, can you?”
Gavin straightened his shoulders to stare her directly in her eyes. “Not only women—anyone.”
“If Taylor and you reunited, would you have been able to touch her?” Her heart stopped beating when she asked her question.
“I told myself I could.”
“You’re not sure now?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because, when I touched your back, I wanted you.”
Her heart started beating again, then puttered to a stall when he continued.
“That’s when I thought I was going to throw up.”
She deserved an Academy Award for not showing how much his words affected her.
“Do you think you’d feel sick to your stomach if you touched her?”
“Yes … Maybe … I don’t know.”
There was nothing more painful than Gavin saying he could bear touching Taylor while she made him sick to his stomach.
“There’s no one you feel capable of expressing your feelings to? A friend? Someone in the club who you’re comfortable with. Dr. Price seems really nice.”
“Would talking to someone about that burn mark on your hand make you feel better?”
The excruciating pain from when she had grabbed that meat thermometer still lay in the recesses of her mind. She didn’t own one, never would again, and was willing to bet she wouldn’t find one in Silas’s kitchen.
“I would if they had been burned too.”
“It’s not so easy to talk about the shit that happened to me.”
“Have you ever been a confiding person? Even before your kidnapping?”
“What do you mean?” Gavin stopped flicking the cap.
“I mean, even when you were growing up, before you went in the military, when something bothered you. Were you able to talk to Viper, your parents, or a friend if something was going on in your life that was bothering you?”
“No. I was raised in a military family; you were supposed to suck it up.”
“There was no one you could talk to, like … say you broke up with a girlfriend?”
“No. I didn’t need anyone.”
“You might not have then, but I think you do now. Take small steps; find something easier to talk about. You didn’t get all those muscles by beginning to work out with fifty-pound weights. You had to start out small, didn’t you?”
“Ginny … listen, I just want to rub this on your back.” Gavin motioned toward her with the tube of ointment. “Are you going to let me?”
Nodding, she stood. “Wait here. I’ll put my pajamas on in the bathroom.”
Going to the bathroom, Ginny shut the door. Sliding on her black, silky pajama pants, she then buttoned the top. Removing the towel she had wrapped around her head, she brushed her still damp hair, her mind a chaotic swirl of emotions. There wasn’t anything more disheartening than knowing she made the man she loved sick to his stomach.
“This is how Gavin is feeling. It’s not about you,” she whispered to herself in the mirror.
Not bothering to put her robe back on, she carried it back to her bedroom.
“Do you want me to sit on the bed or stand?” she asked nervously.
Gavin stood up. “Just turn around where you are.”
Turning, she used her good hand to start scrunching up the back of her top.
When Ginny didn’t feel him rubbing the lotion into her skin, she knew Gavin had underestimated his ability to cope. Letting her top fall back, she turned to the side to reach her chest of drawers. “You mind if I blow-dry my hair while you work on my back?” Opening the top drawer, she took out her blow dryer. Plugging it in the socket below the light switch, she started blowing out her hair, pretending it was nothing unusual for Gavin to get started.
“I’m glad all the dogs were found,” she started talking. “Moses said he used the hamburger meat and bacon to catch them. All of them are at the vet and doing well.”
“What will happen to them? Will they be put down?”
Ginny felt his tentative touch at the hem of her top.
“Moses has offered to retrain them. They were used as bait dogs, so the owner won’t get them back. Once the court finalizes the surrender documents and Moses retrains them, he’ll find them homes or will keep them. Rocky is getting older, so Moses will probably let one of them take his spot.”
“Rocky? I haven’t seen him.”
“You wouldn’t.” Ginny tilted her head to the side to get underneath her hair as she felt her top going up in the back. “He’s one of the guard dogs that watches the property. If you had met Rocky, you would have known.”
“How many does Moses have watching the property?”
“I think six.”
“How did the loose dogs get past Moses’s dogs?”
“Because Moses is that good of a trainer. He teaches them only to attack other animals if they see them trying kill the farm animals. Unless ….”
“Unless?”
“Unless they have two legs and aren’t supposed to be on our property. Then he lets them have them for dinner.”
“I left the other night.”
“I know.”
“I didn’t see them.”
“Moses must have given them something with your scent.”
“They didn’t attack you when you came here?”
“No. I knew Moses trained them to my scent even though I was no longer in contact with them. I had left some of my clothes, so I imagine he used something from one of those.”
The cold cream touching her had her holding the dryer tighter.
“I was terrified Suki would get hit with a bullet when you fired. Did you learn to shoot in the military?”
“Viper taught me.”
Ginny turned the dryer to hit the back of her neck at the husky voice coming from behind her. “Who’s a better shot—you or Viper?”
“We’re both good.”
“Were you worried about hitting Suki?”
“Yes.”
The feel of Gavin’s fingers sliding across her back had her mind going blank.
“She’s a sweet dog.”
“My heart stopped when those two other dogs came out. Were you scared?”
“For you. I didn’t know you could run that fast. Then I didn’t think you would ever stop rolling.”
“Me neither.”
“There. That should do it.”
Ginny felt the glide of her top fall back down.
Shutting the dryer off, she turned back to Gavin. “Thanks, I appreciate your help. I hope it wasn’t too bad.”
“I’m good.” Gavin closed the cap but didn’t move away.
The sound of thunder struck outside her window, causing the windows to rattle. Ginny saw the mirror of her star chart begin to shake. Her chart was on an opposite wall of Leah’s, which remained unmoving.
Ginny saw it trembling at another crack of thunder and moved quickly, but it was too late. Ginny watched in dismay as it bounced off the wall.
Before she or Gavin could catch it, it fell down, hitting the headboard of her bed and shattering the mirror into tiny shards of glass.
The mirror wasn’t the only thing that had just been smashed. Ginny felt a terrible premonition, as if her hopes and dreams were never going to come true.
Looking down, she saw only the remnants of one lone star.
Just one … lone star.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
“Don’t move!” Gavin barked out when she started to leave to get a broom and dustpan, unable to contain her grief in front of him.
“Why are you crying? Did the glass cut you?”
Ginny blinked back her tears. “No. I’m upset because my mirror is broken.”
“Stop crying,” he demanded as if she would be able to stop immediately.
She cried harder, laying her head on his shoulder. “Freddy gave me that mirror.”
“I know.” Turning to the door, he carried her out of the room. “I’ll get you another one,” he promised. “I can make sure it’s right.”
Gavin trying to tease her just made it worse. “It won’t be the same,” she sobbed. “I need it to be the same.”
“Why? It was wrong.”
She wailed louder. “Stop saying that!”
“I can have it made exactly the same.”
Ginny lifted her head. “You swear?”
“If it means that much, then I swear. Even though it will still be wrong,” he added.
“Thank you. You can put me down.” Sniffing back her tears, she tried to give him a wobbly smile. “I don’t want you to feel sick.”
An indescribable look crossed his face as Gavin bent his head. Before she could decipher his expression, his mouth caught hers.
Anxious that he would find kissing her repulsive, she was afraid to move her lips. Letting him have her mouth, she closed her eyes tightly, not wanting to see his disgust. She focused her attention on Gavin’s stiff and unyielding lips and realized hers were the same.
Forcing her jaw to relax, she let her lips soften feeling Gavin’s lips begin to move. At first, she thought he was pulling away, so she awkwardly started to turn her face, but Gavin resumed before she could. He’d tucked her in so close that her head was in the crook of his neck, so she was unable to turn away from his kiss.
Gavin’s kiss was little more than the chaste one she had given him on the cheek in the hotel room. The only difference was their lips were pressed together. It wasn’t the passionate, drawn-out ones that she saw on television or in public, when couples didn’t care who was watching. There wasn’t anything remotely passionate about what Gavin was doing. In fact, it felt as if he was forcing himself.
Ginny pressed her fingertips against the side of his chin. “Stop, Gavin.”
Gavin lifted his lips from hers.
“You might be trying to prove something to yourself, but you’re ruining my first kiss.”
The sob escaping her lips was smothered under his again. While it wasn’t passionate, she no longer felt as if Gavin was forcing himself into kissing her.
His lips were firm, but this time it was different. Wrapping her arms around his neck, her lips became malleable to the contours of his, the sensual glide of his tongue across her bottom lip had her quivering in his arms. Hesitantly, Ginny allowed access to her mouth. The stroke of his tongue against hers had her shying away, but Gavin’s followed until they were in an intimate dance as they dueled and stroked to heighten the other’s pleasure.
Unsure if she was doing it right, and mainly worried she would put Gavin off from ever touching a woman again, she took her cues from him. Fleeting strokes of her tongue, beckoning and promising, before fleeing, allowing him the opportunity of pursuing or retreating.
Gavin was a military man to the bone. Following her, he captured her mouth, taking her prisoner in a heady rush that she didn’t want to ever end.
“Excuse me. I need to get by so I can go to bed.”
Ginny found herself unceremoniously dropped to her feet at Silas’s request.
“My mirror broke,” Ginny embarrassedly explained. “Gavin was carrying me so my feet wouldn’t get cut.”
Silas stuck his head out of his room. “The broom and dustpan are in the utility closet. You need my help cleaning up?”
“No, we got this,” Gavin said, making no move to get the items.
“Then good night. Make sure you don’t silence your phones. There are tornado warnings out. If the alert goes off, get to the basement immediately.”
“Should the boys come here?”
“Isaac is staying up; don’t worry. I stayed up until the winds slowed down. The storm looks like it’s going in another direction.”
“How can you tell? That thunder felt close.”
“The radar on the news showed it moving off. Isaac will call if it starts to build back up.”
“Good, that’s a relief,” Ginny told him. “Gavin, if you get my house shoes, I’ll get the broom. Night, Silas.”
“Good night.”
Ginny went down the steps, dreading going back up them, worried about Gavin’s reaction to the kiss they had shared. Any time she drew too close to Gavin, he reacted in one of two ways; he would either hide his head in his shell or come out snapping.
Taking a trash bag, along with broom and pan, she returned back upstairs to see Gavin waiting with her tennis shoes.
“You’re house shoes are too flimsy to wear with that much glass. I’ve already taken off your blanket and sheet and bundled them together. You can put them in the laundry room and get a clean set while I sweep and cleaned it up for you.”
Taking the bedding, Ginny felt as if she was being dismissed. Trying not to let it bother her, she went back downstairs. Loading the washing machine, she came to the conclusion she had to give Gavin his space.
“Small steps,” she muttered, searching for another sheet set. Finding what she needed, she went back upstairs to see Gavin tying the trash bag.
“Where does he keep his vacuum cleaner? I want to make sure I got it all.”
“In the utility room,” Ginny answered.
“I’ll get it. You can make your bed.”
Muttering to herself when he was out of earshot, she smoothed the sheet out on her bed. It took longer than she was expecting, and when he didn’t immediately come back, she was about to go looking for him when he finally returned.
“Sorry, I was watching the weather forecast. The storms are dying out.”
Tossing her pillow back on her bed, she turned to look at Gavin, placing her hands on her hips. “If you’re going to tell me our kiss made you sick—”
“Ginny, a tornado hit Nashville.”
Ginny immediately sat down, reaching for her cell phone on the nightstand, then pulling up her contact list. She simply stared at it blindly. “I don’t know who to call first.”
Gavin sat down on the bed next to her. “The band has already left Nashville, and I’ll call Nickel. Who else?”
“Marty, Kimmy, Pizza….”
“Start with Marty.”
She didn’t keep him on the phone long, just making sure he was okay. Then she called Kimmy.
“Were you in the storm?”
“No. I wish had been!”
“Don’t say that!”
“It’s true. Lawrence talked me into staying in Nashville with him. I had a big argument with Nick when I didn’t go back to Queen City with him and the band. I’ve been so stupid, Ginny.”
“What did he do?”
“I went to the store alone, because he said there was no need for both of us to go and because he said he wasn’t feeling well. When I came back, he was in bed with Jacey. Do you remember her?”
“Vaguely. She’s one of the waitresses in the nightclub.”
“When I threw a fit about finding them in bed, Lawrence told me he never made any promises, that I was exaggerating their relationship, and he was just giving me a place until I could get on my feet. Jacey is now moving in with him, and I have nowhere to go.”
“Nick will let you stay with him.”
“I don’t have enough money to get to Queen City. I spent the last of my money paying Lawrence’s bills and those damn groceries.”
“Kimmy ….”
“I know …,” she wailed. “I don’t need you telling me I told you so like Nick.”
“I wasn’t. Do you have my car?”
“Yes, but I don’t even have enough money to buy gas.”
“I’ll PayPal you eno
ugh to get home. Just don’t tell Lawrence I’m sending you the money. Just go.”
“I can’t ask—”
“You’re not asking; I’m giving. You can pay me back when you’re back on your feet.”
“Thank you, Ginny. I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t called.”
“You have my number. You don’t have to wait for me to call if you ever need anything. Let me know when you get on the road so I won’t be worried.” Disconnecting the call, she realized Gavin had been listening.
“Kimmy’s boyfriend break up with her?”
“Yes.”
Gavin narrowed his eyes on her. “You knew it was going to happen. That’s why you left her your car.”
“I knew he was ghosting her. I wanted her to have a safe way out when he showed his true colors.”
“How’d you know he would?”
“It’s his dedication and skill to pretend to be someone else. Lawrence was too sure of himself. That he screwed up wasn’t a shocker. What surprising is that it took Kimmy so long to realize it. I hope she gets away from him without any trouble.”
“You think she will?”
“She’s been paying his bills. He’ll want to know where she’s getting enough money to leave. He’s shady enough, and I wouldn’t put it past him to talk her into staying with him and his new girlfriend just for her money.”
“I’ll have Nickel give her an escort out of town.”
She nodded. “I’ll text her so she’ll expect him.”
Gavin placed his hand over hers on the phone. “Don’t tell her. Let me have the address she’s at, and Nickel can keep an eye out. If she runs into any trouble, he’ll be on hand.”
“Why not let me tell her? It’ll ease her mind.”
“I’m not worried about easing Kimmy’s mind. I’m worried about keeping Nickel safe.”
“I should have thought of Nickel’s safety. Lawrence could get violent with Kimmy leaving—”
“He could also take Nickel to trap you into doing what he wants. If I can see you’re foolhardy as fuck after a few days, Lawrence would be smart enough to use that to his advantage.”
“Lawrence isn’t my stalker.”
“I don’t think so, either, but it wouldn’t be the first time someone fooled me.”
Ginny nodded. “Me neither.”