by S J Crabb
♥9
Mum looks worried. In fact, she’s never looked so worried, and that makes me feel anxious. She popped over to see me before I head off on my camping weekend and I can tell she has something on her mind.
Slamming my case shut, I say briskly, “Ok, spit it out.”
“What?”
“Whatever’s bothering you. I can tell something is, so you as may as well get it off your chest.”
Shaking her head, she says with a slight hesitation, “Um… this list you’ve drawn up.”
“Yes, what about it?”
“Um... it doesn’t have the same, or even similar things that were on Aunt Daisy’s list… does it?”
Fighting the urge to laugh out loud, I just shrug. “Maybe, maybe not, why does it matter?”
I can tell she feels uncomfortable and know exactly what she’s thinking but decide to let her squirm a bit first. “It’s just that, well, um, times have changed and people are a little more aware than they used to be. I mean, I expect Daisy wrote that at a time when the dangers that lurk around every corner weren’t so well known.”
“Like what?”
I know what she’s getting at but it amuses me to see how she’ll voice her concerns. “Um… like meeting strangers and engaging with them in a, you know, um… intimate way.”
I just stare at her sharply and she looks a little embarrassed, then she appears to have a word with herself because she flings her hands up in the air and says loudly, “Oh, for goodness’ sake, I’ll just spell it out for you. Don’t sleep with strangers, you don’t know where they’ve been. Also, they could be a murderer, or a weirdo. Don’t engage with anyone until you have stalked them on Facebook and discovered every last thing about them. Make sure they’re a real person because I watch Catfish on repeat most days and quite honestly, Lily, it’s a sick world out there. Promise me you’ll be careful because we don’t want any more bad news.”
She looks so concerned, I feel bad and smile sweetly. “It’s ok, mum, I haven’t added in any sex with strangers to my list. Do you think I should?”
She stares at me in horror and I burst out laughing. “It’s ok, you don’t have to worry about me; I couldn’t think of anything worse.”
As I pull my case off the bed, she looks concerned. “Have you thought this through, darling? I’m not sure a case is the right equipment for camping. Maybe Cath Kidston do a rucksack instead.”
“No way, I’m doing this the Lily Rose way. The last thing I want is a rucksack weighing me down when I have the power of wheels at my disposal. I’m sure there are paths in the forest and to be honest, I doubt we will be going rogue, anyway. I expect they have full hook up and showering facilities, not to mention a well-stocked restaurant to serve us roast dinners and soup on demand.”
“Ooh, I’m not so sure, surely that would have been in the brochure.”
“What brochure, I just googled camping trips and this one came highly recommended on Trip Advisor? I mean, obviously there were a few scaremongers’ but you always get those. No, this is perfect because it ticks several boxes at once and then I’ll be home to face my next challenge. I mean, how hard can it be?”
Mum follows me downstairs and as I start loading the boot of the car with enough equipment for a week away, she watches me looking nervous. “Take care, darling, and text me when you get there. I shan’t rest unless I get my hourly messages.”
Rolling my eyes, I pull her in for a hug. “Listen, just you wait and see, I’ll be back before you know it. After all, I need to get back for the funeral next Wednesday. How are things going with that?”
“Ok, I guess. Your father’s in his element organising. He has an encrypted file on Word that he forgot the password to and spent the whole day trying to crack the code before the vicar showed up for our hymn choices. Then he spent one afternoon calling everyone in Aunt Daisy’s address book and quite honestly, Lily, there were some very shady people in there.”
Now I’m interested. “Like who?”
She lowers her voice, although I have no idea why and says in a whisper, “One man was foreign, Italian, I think. He started crying when dad told him and said his heart was broken. He was quite inconsolable for a while there and then just slammed the phone down. Well, it was a bit rude but I’m not so sure it was deliberate.”
“What do you mean?”
“He may have had a heart attack brought on by the shock and collapsed and died on the other end of the phone. You see, grief does strange things to a person you know. Take me for instance.”
“You, you’re no different than you always are.”
“Outwardly, darling, but inwardly I’m in pieces. You know, the other day I missed the turning for Slater street and ended up on the one-way system. I was preoccupied with thinking about what canapes Aunt Daisy would have wanted for her funeral and it send me doolally.”
“For goodness’ sake, mum, you’re always ending up on the one-way system. You just forget to concentrate and your mind veers off to another dimension from the rest of us. It’s not grief, it’s just you.”
I slam the boot shut and pull her in for a hug. “It’s only two days and I’ll be back before you know it. Look after yourself and don’t let dad drive you mad with his planning. Call me whenever you like because I have more power than the national grid in my portable charger packs.”
As I kiss my mum goodbye, I feel a little bad that I’m deserting her in her hour of need. Then again, I need to get away because they are at their worst in a crisis and go into some sort of super organising mode that grates on my nerves after a while. It started with scouring the house for valuables and ended up with a full-blown military operation in planning the funeral. I’ve lost count of how many practice sessions we’ve re-enacted in the living room, so we do Aunt Daisy proud. Do people really rehearse funerals? I’ve never known it myself, but maybe they do these days. Next thing we know they’ll be having funeral showers, or something along those lines. Thank goodness I’m out of bounds for a few days and can reconnect with my inner goddess in the wilds of the New Forest, and hopefully it comes with full hook up.
♥10
I’m feeling quite smug. Not only have I embraced this challenge with an energy I never knew I had, but I have made good choices.
As I park the car in Sandy Balls car park, I look around at the picture of outdoor excellence. Yes, this is what I wanted, an outdoor home from home. Little lodges nestle among the trees and the well-maintained grounds demonstrate an attention to detail I appreciate. Well worth the money if you ask me because being tucked up in one of those wooden mansions will be no hardship. I can even see a chimney protruding from the back of one of them, indicating a warm and cosy log burner inside. Yes, Aunt Daisy would love it here and so, with a new spring to my step, I go in search of registration, making sure to leave my case in my car, hopefully to be retrieved later by a friendly porter.
As it’s January, it appears quiet, but I expect it’s a different place in the summer. I can only imagine the hordes of holiday makers that descend here each year in pursuit of the British dream.
As I make my way into the reception, I feel at home already as a receptionist looks up and smiles.
“Are you here for the outward-bound camping expedition?”
“Yes, I hope I’m not too early.”
Check in was 10.30, but I made good time and now I’m early. She shakes her head. “It’s fine. You can check in and then wait for the others in the bar. They shouldn’t be long.”
As I sign the registration form, I feel good about myself. Yes, I can do this. Run away and have adventures in my spare time, while juggling a high-powered job and all that comes with it.
The receptionist directs me to the bar area and I feel at home already as I sink into one of the comfy settees by an open fire and order a coffee from the agreeable waitress who races over to take my order. Using the time wisely, I take a few selfies and post them on Instagram and Facebook, making sure to get the fire and c
offee in the background. I caption it, #camping and #outdoorsadventure. Almost immediately I get a few likes which settles any nerves I may have had. Yes, I will document my month of adventure to look back on when I have no time for such frivolities. Aunt Daisy had her box of photos and so must I.
Soon, I am joined by several people who look a little more rustic than me. I thought the leather look leggings and ski boots were a good choice when paired with the white fur-trimmed puffa jacket and white earmuffs. I made sure to buy those gloves that enable you to text at the same time and the mirror shades I bought from BrandAlley at a knockdown price, make me look as if I’m ready for the ski lift.
My fellow campers look a little more conservative in their waterproof trousers and walking boots. I shiver as I see the dull green and camouflage brown of their weather proof jackets and most appear to have woolly hats or beanies perched on their heads. Giving myself the prize for the most glamorous camper, I smile at my new companions as they look at me with a slightly stunned expression.
The only woman among them comes over and says in a friendly voice. “Are you here for the outward-bound camping adventure?”
“Yes, have you been on one before?”
She sits beside me and shakes her head. “No, and I must say I’m a little apprehensive.”
I laugh lightly. “What’s to be worried about, this place looks amazing? It will be no hardship staying here for the weekend.”
She gives me a strange look and whispers, “You do know we aren’t actually staying here, don’t you? This is just the rendezvous point.”
Feeling a little foolish, I say airily, “Of course, silly me, I’m always joking around.”
I notice an array of backpacks littering the floor and shudder as I see the sheer size of the things. Congratulating myself on my forward planning, I say sympathetically, “Goodness, they look heavy. I hope you have a strong back.”
Rolling her eyes, the lady laughs and holds out her hand. “I’m Felicity by the way. Us girls must stick together because if I know my James, he will take over and start issuing his orders before we’ve even left the car park.”
Looking over at James, I see a tall, thin man, studying a map with a look of utter concentration. Felicity laughs. “James loves all this. The harder the better. I can’t believe he talked me into going with him. I mean, I would much rather stay here and wave him off, while I indulge in some ‘me’ time at the local spa.”
Immediately, I can tell that Felicity and I will get along just fine. I notice another couple of men standing nearby and whisper, “Do you know if they’re coming?”
She glances over and shrugs. “I think so, although I’m not sure why.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Well, I heard them talking and think they’re German or something. I couldn’t understand a word they were saying.”
I feel a little disappointed that there aren’t more women and people to have fun with, but at least Felicity seems nice, so all is not lost.
Suddenly, we hear a loud, “Ok, line up campers, let’s get started. My name is Finley Roberts but you can call me Finn and I’m your guide this weekend.”
Looking around, my jaw hits the ground as I behold the rugged camping god who has just walked in. Bear Grylls move aside because it appears our instructor was born in the forest. Tall and muscular, with rugged good looks and eyes that could melt any woman’s resolve from the next town. Immediately, I feel a renewed interest in the weekend and stand quickly to line up with the others.
I feel as if I’m on parade as he walks up and down and assesses us all. When he reaches me, I see a smirk on his rather handsome face, along with a look of resignation. Leaning forward, he barks, “Name?”
“Um… Lily Rose Adams, sir.”
I almost salute but luckily his arrogant smirk stops me making a complete fool of myself, as he says in a husky voice that does things to me inside I forgot existed. “Why are you here?”
I feel the surrounding smirks rather than see them and pull myself up to my full height and say in a strong, she means business, voice, “For the adventure.”
Shaking his head, he moves down the line and I hear him ask the same thing of everyone. When he reaches the Germans, he says something in what I can only assume is German, and they answer him in much the same way. I feel quite impressed as he has a conversation with them and then feel less impressed as his razor-sharp stare flicks back to me and he barks, “Where’s your kit?”
“Kit?” I stare at him in confusion and he says slowly, “Your bag, rucksack, tent, sleeping bag; you do have them I take it?”
Feeling a little put out, I say icily, “Of course, they’re in my car.”
“They aren’t much use in there. Go and get them and then we’ll head off.”
He turns to talk to James and Felicity throws me a sympathetic smile and whispers, “Do you need a hand?”
She seems kind, so I say gratefully, “Lovely, thank you.”
As we walk away, she sighs. “Wow, that guy is seriously gorgeous. Trust my luck to be here with James.”
“Is James your husband?”
She grins. “Not yet. We are engaged, but he appears in no hurry to make an honest woman of me.”
“How long have you been engaged?”
“Ten years.”
I stop in my tracks and she shrugs. “It just never seems the right time to plan a wedding. First, there was the house and the mortgage. We didn’t have the money, so we used what we had to sink into bricks and mortar. Then we had to do the place up, and then James lost his job and took a while to find a new one. You know, Lily, it’s ceased to be important and we have just fallen into the trap of every married couple out there. The excitement has gone and neither of us are that bothered in putting a ring on it and making something official that works without it.”
We reach the car and for some reason I feel sorry for Felicity. Fancy the spark dying before they even made it down the aisle. Hardly the stuff of romance novels, but she appears happy.
As I unlock the boot and retrieve the case, her eyes widen and she laughs out loud. “What the hell is that?”
Feeling a little aggrieved, I say shortly, “The latest Cath Kidston, all terrain, hard case. Ingenious if you ask me.”
I can tell she’s trying hard not to laugh and pity her even more for her short sightedness. As I heave the case to the ground, I feel quite smug as I look at it standing proudly on the gravel surface and say happily, “Right, just my handbag and cosmetics case and we’re good to go.”
As I attach the matching cosmetics bag to the handle of the case, Felicity laughs. “You’ve never been camping before, have you?”
“No, this is the first time.”
Shaking her head, she says lightly, “I hope you don’t think I’m speaking out of turn here, Lily, but I’m not sure if the case is a good idea. I mean, it’s lovely, but there aren’t many hard surfaces to drag it along and the mud will choke up the wheels. I know the backpacks aren’t anywhere near as gorgeous as this, but they are practical and made to do the job and do it well. This may be good for a holiday but camping – well, it requires a more basic set up and I just don’t want you to struggle.”
She smiles sweetly and despite the fact I feel annoyed at her condescending words, I can’t be annoyed at her for trying to help, so I just shake my head and laugh. “Oh, don’t you worry about me, I’m stronger than I look. Anyway, we should get going. That guide looks as if he’ll come and hunt us down and rope us in or something. He seems quite scary in a rugged good-looking way, of course.”
Felicity grins and we set off giggling like schoolgirls as we make our way back to the rendezvous point.
♥11
“Absolutely not, no way, you are not taking that.”
“Why not, I would have thought I could take whatever I want because, in case you’ve forgotten, I’m the paying customer and know best?”
I cross my arms and fix my most ferocious stare onto my face
as I glare at the monster who has made himself in charge this weekend.
I feel the suppressed laughter around me, which only makes me dig my heels in even more and for a moment, we are two gladiators in the ring, sizing each other up, looking for the chink of weakness to bring our opponent down.
Finn looks as if he’s reached the end of a very short fuse, which should make me back down but for some reason this suitcase has become the most important thing in my life, so I say angrily, “Listen, I’m not asking for help and I’m not asking your permission. This is what I’m taking - end of. If it all goes wrong, then I’m the one who will suffer – not you. So, rather than delay our expedition while we ‘discuss’ my portable equipment, maybe you should actually do what we are paying you to, and lead us off on our adventure.”
For a moment Finn looks stunned and I see an angry tick working away in his neck. I feel quite proud of myself for standing up for what I believe in the face of extreme adversity and look around me triumphantly as he sighs and turns away, mumbling, “You’ve been warned and now you’ll have to deal with the consequences.”
He grabs his own army issue kit and says shortly, “Follow me. We have at least five hours before we make it to base camp for the night. Try to keep up.”
He storms ahead and Felicity throws me a sympathetic glance as James says loudly, “Hurry up, Felicity, we can’t afford to fall behind. Grab your backpack and set your step counter, we need to do in excess of 10,000 steps in the next five hours to make up for yesterday.”
As she grabs her backpack, Felicity pokes her tongue out at James behind his back and salutes him mockingly. Stifling a giggle, I watch the two suspected German men hoist their own impressive looking kit on their backs and set off at an almost jog in the direction of our surly leader.