It is through my voice, I believe, that I can be of most use in this world.
I believe that the purpose of every life is to make the journey the best one that we can for ourselves and for those around us—those people who sit by our sides in our train cars, sharing joint hopes and dreams; those who leave sooner than they should; those whom we encounter briefly at one station or another along the way; and those whom we may never meet personally but who are part of our larger world. When we act with care and kindness, we lift up ourselves and others. By working hard to create the circumstances that allow us to flourish, we help pave the way for those who travel alongside us and those who come after us, too. That is what I will tell my children each time I tell them the story of the nameplate.
Which is why I offer the story to you.
Whether heading to work in a chiffon sari or gliding through the house in a cloud of Dior perfume, my mother was always impossibly glamorous.
Upon her marriage to Dad, a major, Mom enlisted in the army as a captain.
With my maternal grandfather, Manhar Krishna Akhouri. Nana, as I called him, taught me my ABCs under an ashoka tree.
I used to love following my dad around the house dressed in his uniform and pretending I was him. Eventually I would master the art of wearing clothes that I didn’t trip over.
From my earliest years, my dad and I had an understanding: Whenever he was performing at the army club he would look me in the eye during the first song. The New Year’s Eve I was five he forgot, so I started to leave in a huff. Dad jumped off the stage and pulled me up onto it with him, coaxing me into a duet—a nursery rhyme—and winning my forgiveness.
My kindergarten class at St. Paul’s in Delhi with my teacher Mrs. Bhasker, whom I adored and did my best to please. That’s me in the top row, second from the left. I hadn’t yet learned that Less is More.
Queens, New York, 1996. Vanessa Smarth had no idea what she was getting into when she volunteered to braid my hair!
With Kiran Masi and cousins Priyam and Pooja during a visit to Purdue University in Indiana, where Neela Masi, Kiran and Mom’s sister, was getting her PhD in agronomy. Our cheeks are painted with butterflies and bugs in honor of the Purdue Bug Bowl, one of the largest insect festivals in the U.S.
Summer vacation on Cape Cod with Vimla Mami and cousins Divya and Rohan, 1997.
Vimal Mamu, my mother, and me in 1998, when she traveled to Newton, Massachusetts, to bring me home.
Taking in the sights of Paris from the Seine with Sid before the infamous Louvre visit. For me, the “sights” included all the cute French boys on the boat.
The 1999 May Queen Ball at the Bareilly Club. When I went there with my parents for dinner I didn’t expect to be wearing a tiara at the end of the night. I immediately decided I liked the feeling of a crown on my head.
The House Captains at the Army Public School in Bareilly my senior year, the year Nilgiri House snagged the Winner’s Cup on Annual Day. Notice anything about my skirt length compared to the other skirts?
My first professional modeling job, age seventeen. Before I knew I’d be competing in the Miss India pageant, someone in Bareilly saw my photographs in Suri Photo Studio, where the owner had posted them, and offered me five thousand rupees (about a hundred and ten dollars) to model their dresses. You can tell I did my own hair and makeup.
No one was more surprised than I when I was crowned the new Miss India World on January 15, 2000!
In my classroom at the Army Public School during my Miss India homecoming. These were the classmates I’d been studying with six weeks earlier and with whom I would have been sitting for my boards had things not turned out the way they did.
The Miss World swimwear photo shoot in the Maldives, where I was the most covered-up body on the beach. Could that have been the reason why all eyes were on me?
On November 30, 2000, I was crowned the millennium Miss World! Notice my left hand pressed against my strapless gown in an effort to keep it from sliding off my body.
India hit the trifecta in 2000 when all three Miss India winners won our respective international pageants that year: Lara Dutta was crowned Miss Universe, I was crowned Miss World, and Dia Mirza was crowned Miss Asia Pacific. It’s a feat no country has duplicated since.
With President K. R. Narayanan of India during my Miss World reign. Meeting heads of state was one of the honors that went along with the title and would become a privilege that accompanied me on my career trajectory.
I was so happy to share my win with not only my parents but my maternal grandparents, Nana and Nani, who helped raise me.
Although we completed the mahurat shot—the first shot of a film, which marks the beginning of principal photography and is preceded by blessings and accompanied by press—on Asar, the movie was one of those shelved after the debacle with my nose. Here I am with the legendary Dilip Kumar and our co-actor Ajay Devgan.
President Pratibha Patil presenting me with a National Film Award—the country’s most prominent film award, administered by the Indian government’s Directorate of Film Festivals—for the 2008 film Fashion.
My flashy gold bathing suit in the 2008 feel-good movie Dostana was my ode to Bo Derek’s star turn in the 1979 film 10.
While I was filming Dostana in Miami, Tamanna Sharma came to visit me. From sharing a tiny one-room apartment in Mumbai to being my maid of honor, she’s been my sister from another mister for almost twenty years.
In 2013 my father insisted I continue training for the based-on-real-life Mary Kom even as his health declined. Shooting on the film commenced days after his death, and the sheer physicality of the role was in some ways therapeutic.
Shooting the final scene of Dil Dhadakne Do, one of the last few Hindi movies I did before my life pivoted to the U.S. in a serious way. With Anil Kapoor, Shefali Shah, and Ranveer Singh.
Natasha Pal’s vision for me has always been expansive. She’s been my trusted friend and advisor for more than seventeen years now, consistently nudging me toward possibilities I wasn’t able to see for myself.
The filming of the dark noir 7 Khoon Maaf required total concentration and focus, so I was reluctant to take a call about a possible opportunity in the West, even when Natasha encouraged me to. Working with the late Irrfan Khan on that film was a privilege.
The first time I met legendary music producer Jimmy Iovine was at the Monkey Bar in midtown Manhattan at a dinner with Anjula Acharia, a tech investor who would eventually become my manager.
One of my few live performances celebrated the release of my EDM cover of “I Can’t Make You Love Me” in Mumbai, 2014.
Brampton, Ontario, in February 2013. While I was recording music in the U.S., I was also shooting films in India and promoting them around the world.
The cast of Quantico, season one. Left to right: Josh Hopkins, Aunjanue Ellis, me, Jake McLaughlin, Yasmine Al Massri, Tate Ellington, Graham Rogers (who knew he was a friend of Nick’s?), and Johanna Braddy.
Feeling the love from Ellen Pompeo of Grey’s Anatomy and Kerry Washington of Scandal at the ABC upfronts.
Larger than life: the Sunset Boulevard billboard. Driving by and seeing my name in huge letters in a country so far from home almost felt surreal; it reminded me of an earlier billboard moment in Mumbai that I’d celebrated with Tamanna, so I FaceTimed her and we celebrated this one over the phone.
In 2016 I became the first South Asian woman to win a People’s Choice Award, which I received for Favorite Actress in a New TV Series. The following year I took home a second PCA, this one for Favorite Dramatic TV Actress.
Breakthrough moment—my first magazine cover in the
U.S.! Elle, February 2016.
I felt like the dancing girl emoji come to life when I was presenting at the 2016 Emmys. My joy at the acceptance I felt when Quantico became a global success had me floating on air all night.
The year 2016 was monumental for me. I attended the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, where I was touched by the warmth and graciousness of the former first lady of the United States, Michelle Obama, and her husband, the former president, Barack Obama. It was also the year I made the cover of Time magazine’s “Time 100” issue as one of the 100 most influential people in the world.
The cover that launched an uproar—ArmpitGate!
On the set of Quantico in New York City, season two. Coffee really kept me going during those long days of shooting.
One of my few fangirl moments: meeting Meryl Streep backstage at the Golden Globes in 2017.
One of the greatest honors of my life has been receiving the Padma Shri, India’s fourth highest civilian award, from President Pranab Mukherjee in 2016. The recognition gave rise to a bittersweet moment, knowing how proud my military father would have been to see me being honored by our country.
Though I had been on the cover of Vogue India many times, when I made the cover of American Vogue in January of 2019, I was the first Indian woman to appear solo on it in its 126-year history. Glad to have finally kicked down that door.
I will never forget the kindness shown to me by my co-actor Hrithik Roshan on the set of the first Krrish, and by his father, Rakesh Sir, who directed the film. When my father suffered a life-threatening complication following his first surgery, Hrithik facilitated his immediate flight to Boston.
Getting my Daddy’s lil girl…tattoo in honor of my father in Ibiza, where I was recording a song for my album in 2012 with RedOne. It was the tattoo artist’s idea to have it be in Dad’s handwriting.
At the TOIFA ceremony with Dad in April 2013. He died two months later.
Sid and I sleeping in the nurses’ station outside of the ICU in the final weeks of our father’s life.
Nick was good-natured about having to navigate around the twenty-five-foot-long train of my trench coat gown at the 2017 Met Gala.
It was his idea to stage an echo of the Gala shot at our wedding—where my veil was seventy-five-feet long! Good thing he’d had practice with the train.
Our first proper date alone. Nick could probably tell you who the Dodgers played that night but I only had eyes for him.
During Nick’s first trip to India in June of 2018, we took a quick trip to Goa with my cousin Parineeti, Tamanna, and Sid.
On the magical island of Crete, July 19, 2018, just hours after our engagement.
At our roka, August 2018.
Reviewing sketches and embroidery samples with Ralph Lauren and Andrea Ciaraldi. For his unwitting role in bringing us together at the 2017 Met Gala, his participation in our wedding, and an assortment of reasons in between, Ralph Lauren will always be part of our love story.
Our sisters-in-law, Danielle and Sophie, really got into some of the Indian rituals, especially the haldi.
My bridal mehendi.
After all of the musical performances at our sangeet, this exhausted but exhilarated collection of the most important people in our lives gathered to record the moment.
December 1, 2018. The long walk down the imposing staircase of the Taj Umaid Bhawan Palace to meet Nick at the altar. In the absence of my father, it was my mother who held my hand tightly, infusing love and confidence into me with every step we took.
December 2, 2018. Our Big Fat Chopra Jonas family. From left, Josh Miller (Nick’s uncle), Kevin and Danielle Jonas, Cecilia Lucas (Nick’s paternal grandmother), Paul Kevin Jonas, Sr., Frances Miller (Nick’s maternal grandmother), Denise Jonas, Nick, me, Sid, my mom, Frankie Jonas, Sophie and Joe Jonas.
At the reception after the Indian wedding, I danced the night away with my forever Bollywood hero.
Three days later, wearing my wedding chudas and with my bridal mehendi still fresh, Whitney Wolfe Herd and I launched Bumble India.
Moving into our new house during quarantine was unusual, but we made the best of it, including a Griha Pravesh (housewarming) ceremony.
The growing Chopra Jonas family, with Diana, who chose me; Gino, a gift from me to Nick; and Panda, our latest addition.
I met Sunita when I was a National Ambassador for UNICEF India. The way she took charge of her own life, helping her family and community along the way, inspires me every day.
As a Global UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, I showed off my Bollywood moves to children in Soweto, South Africa, as they showed off theirs to me.
Travels as a Goodwill Ambassador have also taken me to Jordan and Ethiopia, among other countries.
The privilege of meeting strong, resilient children who make the best of impossible circumstances pushes me to be a better person.
Happy to be home. Feeling strong and free as I dance my way into the next chapter of my life.
PHOTO CREDITS
Photo 1: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 2: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 3: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 4: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 5: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 6: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 7: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 8: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 9: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 10: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 11: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 12: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 13: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 14: © The Times of India
Photo 15: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 16: © Jonathan Evans/Reuters
Photo 17: © Gerry Penny/AFP via Getty Images
Photo 18: © The Times of India
Photo 19: © The Times of India
Photo 20: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 21: © Sanskriti Media
Photo 22: © Pallav Paliwal
Photo 23: © Tarun Mansukhani
Photo 24: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 25: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 26: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 27: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 28: © Aparna Jaya Kumar
Photo 29: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 30: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 31: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 32: Bob D’Amico/Amanda Hall/Walt Disney Television via Getty Images
Photo 33: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 34: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 35: © Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images Entertainment via Getty Images
Photo 36: © Robyn Beck/AFP via Getty Images
Photo 37: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 38: © Nick Saglimbeni
Photo 39: Photo from the author’s personal collection
Photo 40: Photo from the author’s personal collection
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