“It’s not like I planned to have my life fall apart around your anniversary. Next time I’ll work to make sure it’s not an inconvenience.”
“That’s enough! Either, get to the point, or leave!”
I pointed at my mother. “Does she know?!”
My mother looked back and forth between me and my father. I wanted her to be strong. I wanted her to demand an explanation. I wanted…I don’t know what I wanted.
When it was obvious that my father wasn’t going to answer, my mother stepped up. “Avery, I don’t need to know whatever secret you and your father have. I made my choice and I’ll make the same one again if I need to.”
I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry for my father’s mistake. I wanted to cry for my mother’s choices. I wanted to cry for my brother’s ability to move forward. Most of all, I wanted to cry for the immense loss I was feeling. The source of all my angst was standing there in his perfect home, with his perfect wife, while he still held his perfect job and tomorrow he was going to celebrate his perfect life with all of his perfect friends and here I was falling apart because I didn’t have a healthy view of men. I didn’t even have a healthy view of myself.
I nodded my head at my mother. “I love you, Mom, and I hope you feel as special as you deserve tomorrow, but I think it goes without saying that I won’t be here.”
Her eyes immediately glossed over with unshed tears. “Avery…”
“How long are you going to punish your mother for something I did, Avery?”
All my resentment for this man started bubbling out, “Until I find a man who will love me and only me. Until I find a man who wants me and only me. Until I find a man who I can trust completely. Until I find a man who isn’t with me because his first choice chose someone else!” He flinched at that. “But until then, I’ll make due with whichever guy is responsible enough to at least wrap up his dick while he cheats on me, because it’s starting to look like all men cheat.” I noticed my mother could no longer stop the tears from streaming down her face. “But, fuck it. Who the hell cares? At least you guys are happy, right?” I walked out of their house a bigger mess than when I had walked in.
I drove straight back to Izzy’s, blaring every heart wrenching love song on my playlist that the drive time allowed.
She opened the door, presenting me with a glass of wine. “Wine?”
“Yeah,” she ushered me into her apartment. “Quinn is on her way and we are going to get white girl wasted and wake up with the biggest hangovers known to man with no recollection what so ever of this night.”
Damn. She was starting to sound like Q. “Much appreciated, lady. And I am completely down with this plan of yours.”
I threw my purse on the kitchen bar and took a seat on the couch. “I don’t know what to do, Iz.” Luckily, Quinn chose that moment to burst the door open and join the party. I didn’t feel like repeating the disastrous visit to my parents. Now that they were both her I could recap it just once.
After I was done, Isabella was the first to comment, “Damn, Ace.”
“Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.” My wine glass was already empty and Q was refilling it. Quinn was sitting next to me on the couch while Izzy sat in one of the cushions chairs with her fuzzy socked up feet kicked up on the coffee table.
We were a hell of a team, us three.
Isabella’s phone chimed with a text message, and I could tell by the look on her face it was from Julian. I jumped up off the couch and smothered her with a hug. I gave her a sloppy kiss. “I love you!”
After she managed to untangle herself from me, she asked, “What the hell was that for?”
I walked into her kitchen to find more alcohol. One bottle of wine wasn’t going to do shit to erase the misery that is my life at the moment. “Because I know that text is from Julian and out of respect for my delicate sensibilities, you’re ignoring it.”
I waltzed back into the living room with another bottle of I-don’t-care wine and a bottle of Patron Silver that needed to be cracked open. When Q saw my hands were full with the booze, she jumped up to go get the shot glasses and ice. “Isabella, my dear, dear Isabella,” she eyed me warily, “I have nothing against Julian or Chase. This mess has nothing to do with anyone other than me and Nicholas. You can answer his text.”
It was true. Julian and Chase hadn’t been anything but nice to me and while it’ll hurt at first to see them or talk to them knowing Nicholas was no longer in the picture, I wasn’t going to begrudge my friends their happiness. That’s a dick move and I’m not a dick.
Well, not all the time.
“What does it say?” Q asked when Iz checked her phone.
She glanced at me as if she wasn’t sure she should say. “I’m a big girl, Izzy.”
She sighed. “He asked me if you were ok and wants to know if me and him are ok.”
I snatched her phone out of her hands and typed a response.
Izzy was trying to snatch it back. “Hey! Give me that!”
“Q, handle her,” I continued to type back my text as Quinn wrestled with Izzy.
“Hurry, Ace. She’s a slippery little sucker!” Quinn was clearly losing the wrestling match.
I put the phone down on the table all triumphal like. “There! I’m finished.”
Iz raced to her phone. She arched a beautiful brow at me after she read the text. “You know he’s going to know that I didn’t send this.”
I shrugged and polished off my second glass of wine. I held my glass out to Q for her services again. “Doesn’t matter. It still gets the point across.”
Her phone quickly chimed back with a response and she blushed at whatever he sent back. This time Quinn snatched the phone out of her hand. “Whoooo whoooo!”
“What’d he type back?” Quinn held up the phone so I could read the text.
Hey Dove, how’s Avery faring? Are we still good?
A’s fine. She’s better than fine. How about after A & Q pass out, u cum over & do unspeakable things 2 my body
Hi Q or A. You girls take it easy and tell Iz I’ll be there at midnight with my unspeakable intentions.
I hooped and hollered. “Girl, you hit the jackpot with that one.”
She smiled. “I’m still trying to keep it friendly, you know. No expectations.”
Quinn snorted a laugh. “No expectations? I’m betting you can expect a billion orgasms tonight. That man is hot. Ugh, and those dimples.”
Isabella just laughed and I hoped she worked out her commitment issues because Julian was the real deal. “Okay ladies, let’s start this shit up. I want to be passed out before Julian gets here.”
More than that, passed out meant no thoughts of Nicholas.
Chapter 19
Pride: Because I'll be goddamned!
Avery~
All I could hope for was that I could make it to the kitchen, find a knife and end it all. Iz did not exaggerate when she said we were going to get wasted. Even my eyelashes hurt.
I’ve been hung over before, but right now I was praying for death. The pounding in my head was unbearable. I managed to lift my head up high enough off the couch to see Q on the other side of the coffee table, splattered on the floor like a starfish.
I groaned as I sat up. Quinn was right. No man is worth this kind of torture. I propped my elbows on my knees and hung my head in my hands wondering if they were strong enough to removed my head from my neck, but I didn’t think they were. I heard some noises coming from the kitchen and I thought my skull was going to shatter.
I raised my head to ask Iz if she would bring me a knife so I could end my miserable existence, but it wasn’t Iz in the kitchen. It was Julian.
A hair rumpled, shirtless Julian.
Holy Mary, Mother of God!
It took me a few seconds to realize he was walking towards me with a glass of water, because if a shirtless Julian wasn’t enough to render a person stupid; a shirtless, pajama pants wearing, barefoot Julian sure was. The smirk on his face b
rought out one of his dimples and I swear I could hear an angel chorus in the background. “Done staring, sweetie?”
“Nope.” I shook my head for emphasis and instantly regretted it. “Motherfucker.”
He chuckled. “Here. Take these.” He handed me the water and a couple of aspirin. As I was eying the tablets, he walked over to Quinn. The sight of his tattooed back and hard muscles rippling all over his body, working together to lift Q, was spectacular.
The tattoo was magnificent and telling, but as he handled Quinn, I noticed he had scars all over his body too. And while I was certain there was a sad story behind most of them, they made him look even hotter than he already was.
He gently placed Quinn on the couch opposite side of me. “Why hasn’t Iz locked you down with a ring and seven babies by now?”
“Believe me, I’m working on it,” he chuckled.
Julian made sure Q was comfortable on the couch, and then he kissed the top of my head as he passed me on his way back to the bedroom. “Everything will be okay, sweetie.”
I just sat there dumbfounded. Quiet, serious, brooding, people-hating Julian kissed me on the top of my head in an effort to take care of me, along with putting Q on the couch. Isabella better hurry up and get her head out of her ass and lock that man down.
God, and that body.
I managed to make it to the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth. We all three had our own bathroom drawers at each other’s homes for nights like last night. I grabbed my phone from my purse on my way back to the couch and saw I had several missed called, a couple from my dad and some from Michael. Nothing from Nicholas; not that I was really expecting any.
I also had a couple of text messages from Eric. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about this friendship weirdo thing he was pushing, but I did date the man for almost two years. If I was being honest, we were pretty comfortable during our relationship. If it wasn’t for his cheating, we’d probably still be together, so maybe we would actually make better friends than lovers. Who knows?
I fired off a quick text to Eric letting him know I was at Izzy’s hung over and I’d talk to him later. I debated calling Michael back, but my head hurt so badly, I wasn’t up for a fight. I looked over at Quinn in her peaceful slumber and decided that was the route to take. I got comfortable and tried to go back to sleep, but the pounding in my head wouldn’t let me. The pills Julian gave me had started taking the edge off, but I still had a hell of a headache.
I closed my eyes when my phone started ringing, surprising the hell out of me and because I didn’t want it waking Q, I answered it without looking to see who it was. “Hello?”
“What the fuck, Avery?”
I groan in protest for the pain shooting through my brain. “Please don’t yell, Michael. I got an epic hangover.”
“Jesus Christ, you and them girls.” I wanted to check him for calling Q and Iz ‘them girls’, but he wasn’t yelling and so I was calling this a victory. “Look, I’m calling because mom and dad told me about your little breakdown yesterday. What gives, Avery? Is this about that asshole on the phone?”
I let out a deep breath. I loved my brother very much. He’s always been good to me and we managed to remain close as we grew up and created lives of our own. But I did not want to have this conversation with him. I really didn’t. “It’s been harder for me to get over it, Michael.”
He didn’t have to ask me what the ‘it’ was. “Avery, it’s been fifteen years and why are you whispering?”
“Quinn is passed out on the other end of the couch and I don’t want to wake her.”
“You’re at Quinn’s?”
“No. Isabella’s. They’re-”
“I’m coming to pick you up. We’re going back to your place and we’re going to talk about this, okay, Sister?”
Tears leaked out of my eyes. Michael would never not listen to me. Even if the end resulted in him still not agreeing with me, he still always listened. “Okay. I’ll be outside waiting.”
I did my best to move as fast as I could, but it was proving to be a challenge. I left a note for Q and Iz and then went outside to wait for Michael. I just hoped I didn’t vomit in his car. I wasn’t up the laborious job it would take to clean his car if I did.
Fifteen minutes later, I was heading home, pleading with my brother to drive five miles an hour since I was very much still hung over. He side eyed me letting me know he thought I deserved everything I was feeling right now.
I take back what I said about him being a good brother.
Once we got to my apartment, the first thing I did was take a shower. I felt like all the alcohol I consumed last night was still seeping out of my pores. I got dressed and went in search of Michael. I found him in my kitchen making me something to eat.
He was a good brother once again.
It was times like these I’m glad he moved from Ione to San Jose, also.
I sat down at the table and he sat across from me after putting a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of me, with some juice. “Okay, talk.”
I nibbled on the toast first hoping it would settle my stomach before I braved the eggs. “So you already know that Eric cheated on me and that’s why we broke up.”
He stole a piece of toast off my plate. “Yeah”, he confirmed before he started in on the toast.
“What you don’t know is that Paul cheated on me too, and that’s why we had broken up.” I took a drink of juice. “I….uh, saved myself and thought Paul was the one. We were together two years before I felt ready. One year later I caught him with another girl when I surprised him at USC.” I nibbled on some more toast to try to occupy myself from this embarrassing conversation. “After that I dated a little here and there, nothing serious, until Eric. I met Nicholas-Phone Guy-a couple of weeks ago and I thought things were starting out really good. I fell really hard for him in a matter of days. He seemed to be the man Eric and Paul weren’t. The man Dad wasn’t. But then I caught him in his office with some woman. She had her tits out and his hands were on her blouse. He claims I walked in on him closing up her shirt, not ripping it open. But he also admitted he’s slept with her before.”
“And you don’t believe him?”
“I don’t know. He’s very secretive about her and says I should just trust him.” I looked my brother in the eye for this next part. “Do all guys cheat, Michael?”
If I wasn’t looking so directly at him, I might have missed how his sweet hazel eyes glossed over a little. Once again, he was seven and I was five and he wanted to put a band aid on my scrapes and scratches to stop the bleeding. “No, Sister, they don’t. I know it may not seem that way, but it’s true. There are millions of men who are happily faithful.”
“I can’t seem to find a way to forgive Dad,” I admitted.
“Mom forgave him,” he pointed out.
“I know, but there’s more to the story than she knows, Michael.”
He immediately tensed. “What do you mean?”
With tears in my eyes for the hurt I was going to cause my brother, I told him about the night I caught our dad on the phone. Michael remained quiet for a few minutes after I finished telling him what I knew.
He finally broke the silence. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“We were all so hurt and broken. I didn’t want to add to it. If I told you, then I’d have to tell Mom and I didn’t want to be the one to cause her anymore pain.” I grabbed a napkin to dry my tears that were freely flowing now.
He gave me a small puff of a laugh. “Yours and Dad’s uncomfortable relationship now makes total sense.” Michael walked over to me, lifted me out of my seat and held me to him. “I’m sorry, Sister. I’m sorry you had to know that all by yourself.”
I hugged him back. “Love you, Michael.”
He stepped back from me but didn’t let go as he looked down at me. “I won’t pressure you about family functions anymore. I’ll give you all the time and space you need to heal from this.”
I
gave him a shaky smile. “Thanks. I promise I’m not trying to not forgive, I just haven’t found a way to yet. And my cheating boyfriends don’t help.”
Michael let go of me and I could tell he was getting ready to leave. “Look, it’s already noon. I still plan on going to Mom and Dad’s for their party, so I need to get going.”
“Are you taking Rebecca?” Rebecca was Michael’s latest attempt at love.
“Yeah.” He started heading towards the door and I followed him. “Things are still going well between us, so we’ll see.”
Standing in next to my front door, I stretched up to kiss him on his cheek. “Thanks for listening, Michael.”
“Anytime.” He grabbed the door knob to open the door and then paused. “Look, Avery. I know this isn’t any of my business, but are you sure about Phone Guy?”
I tilted my head at his question. “What do you mean?”
“Just hear me out, okay? I don’t know the guy outside that one phone call and what you’ve just told me now, but I gotta tell you, Sister. That was some serious shit he said to me on the phone when he thought I was some random guy calling you. That’s a lot of possessiveness for a man who is seeing other women.”
“Then why is he so secretive about her?” That question tormented me.
“I don’t know. I just….it just doesn’t feel right that he’d do that to you. I don’t know, Sister.” He opened the door to leave. “Just think it over before you condemn all us males to the Ninth Circle of Hell.”
I laughed as he shut the door behind him. Feeling way better after a shower and a little bit of food, I zombie walked back to my bedroom to treat myself to a nap.
As I got comfortable on my bed, my last fading thought was how in the hell could Q pass out in that awkward starfish position.
Nicholas~
It was Sunday morning and I was just as pissed off today as I was when Avery told me she was going to be fucking someone else on Friday. So much for the weekend giving everyone some time to cool down. The only reason I knew she hadn’t gone through with her avowal was because Julian had text me that she and Quinn were getting plastered at Isabella’s. And because he took my sanity seriously, Julian had text me when he got there around midnight to let me know the girls were passed out drunk, and very alone. Of course, Isabella has been around Julian long enough to know that there’d be a blood bath if he ever found any guys at her house, so there was that.
Catching Avery Page 24