“You no good sonofabitch!” I grabbed the loose ends of the belt to my rope, pulling tighter, hoping it would keep me from wrapping my hands around his throat. “I was not spreading my legs for Eric like I was just his street corner whore. Eric was my fucking boyfriend! I dated him for almost two years. Two years!”
“Exactly my point! Katrina is far from the threat that Eric is!”
“Eric isn’t a threat! Eric isn’t a threat because I’m not a goddamn cheater and you’re not my goddamn boyfriend!” I couldn’t do this any longer. I needed to get dressed, get him the hell out of here and then go cry to Izzy and Quinn, so I took off to the bedroom and left him standing in the kitchen.
Or at least, I thought I did until I heard his footsteps right behind me. “Don’t fucking walk away from me, Avery. We’re nowhere near done with this conversation.”
I started grabbing clothes out of my drawers. “No, I’m pretty sure we’re done here, Nick. You know your way out.”
Before I even got the last word out of my mouth, I was being spun around as Nicholas pulled on my arm. “What did you just call me?”
I was thrown off by the stillness in his voice. He hadn’t yelled out his question and that put me on edge. “I said we’re done here and that you can find your own way out.”
Still keeping my upper arm hostage, Nicholas shook me a little. “I heard that part. It’s what you called me that I’d like you to repeat.”
“Nick?” This is the first time I’ve ever called him Nick, but as small as it may seem, he needed to be Nick to me right now. My heart felt like it was being shredded to pieces. Nicholas was special to me, but Nick was just some random guy. Nick wasn’t special. Everyone called him Nick.
“So I’m Nick now?” I have to hand it to him. He knew exactly what I was doing.
And because I’m in the 3rd grade…“That’s your name, isn’t it?”
He let go of my arm and the finality of it was soul crushing. “This is it, then?”
I willed myself to not cry. I willed myself to sound strong. “You won’t give me more and I won’t settle for less, so it seems so.”
I could only hope my face was as emotionless as his. He gave me no hint to what he was thinking or feeling in this moment. I wanted him to say he’ll give me more. I wanted him to break down his walls to be with me. I wanted him to want me above everything else. I didn’t get that.
“Well, Ms. Ellis. I hope we can still maintain a professional working relationship and this won’t cause any undue conflict within SMA.” His beautiful brown eyes never left mine as he delivered that killing blow.
I don’t know how I remained standing. The robe must have really had super powers that were sustaining me, because I didn’t know how I wasn’t a crying mess on the floor right now. I couldn’t disguise how I had to clear my throat before speaking though, “It shouldn’t be a problem, Mr. Savage.”
The clenching of his jaw was the only reaction I got. He looked me over one last time and walked out of my bedroom.
I didn’t move. I didn’t think I even breathed as I heard him rustling around in the living room, putting the rest of his clothes on. It wasn’t until five minutes after I heard my front door shut that I finally collapsed and gave in to the agonizing pain that was consuming my soul.
I didn’t know how long I sat on my bedroom floor and cried. I didn’t know how long it was before I called Iz and told her I needed her and Quinn immediately. I didn’t know how long it was before they showed up and I didn’t know how long they held me as I cried.
I remember the girls making me eat something and then I remember them putting me to bed. I remember waking up Sunday morning with them cuddled on either side of me in bed.
And now as I lay in bed praying for sleep, even though I knew with sleep came Monday morning, I wondered how people survived this kind of heartache.
This must have been the feeling my mother had been trying to avoid fourteen years ago.
Chapter 22
Virtues: Because forgiveness is needed to heal.
Avery~
I’m not sure how I’ve done it. It’s been two weeks since Nicholas walked out of my apartment, but I’ve managed to still put in my hundred percent at work and give my all to the company party planning. Granted, the first couple of days I continued to cry myself to sleep, but true to folk lore, it does get easier. It sucks, but it gets easier.
At any rate, tonight was the night of the company morale boosting party. It will be the first time I’ve seen Nicholas since our blow out. That’s even if he’s going to be there. I haven’t seen or spoken with Julian or Chase and Quinn and Isabella have been really good about not mentioning any of the guys. So I really am in the dark about what’s been going on with any of them three.
The party committee wanted the party to have a relaxing vibe so I chose to dress office casual. I threw my hair up in a messy bun, because all this disaster later, I still love me a messy bun. I dabbed on minimal make-up and paired a purple button up with some black jeans and black ankle boots.
Isabella was Quinn’s plus one, so I was going to cab it and meet them at the office. Since Q and I were on the committee, it was agreed with the rest of the group that we’d be there an hour early to make sure everything was set up and ready to go at seven.
I arrived a little before six and I was fairly one hundred percent sure I was going to throw up all over the place as I rode the elevator up to the first set of conference rooms. Luckily, the elevator came to a halt without me hurling all over the walls.
It’s the little things, I tell you. The little things.
As I made my way down the hall, I saw Q and Iz already in the conference room we selected to house the bar. I had to laugh. “First thing, huh?”
Quinn took a drink of the beer that was already in here hand. “Hell yeah, first thing.”
I scanned the other rooms and everything seemed in order. “Looks good.”
“Yeah. We all made a good team,” Quinn agreed.
The conference room walls were clear glass so even though the rooms were separated, the glass radiated the feel of one big room. The seating and overflow rooms didn’t need to be monitored, but the team agreed to rotate responsibilities so that we could all join in on the fun. We’d only have to check on the bar and food from time to time. The upstairs conference room should be hassle-free, as well. It was just the DJ and dancing.
“This is going to be so much fun,” Isabella predicted. “Thanks for inviting me.”
Quinn snorted. “Puhlease. Like you wouldn’t have been Julian’s plus one if I hadn’t invited you.”
Iz started laughing. “Still. I prefer to be here with you guys.”
I knew they were chewing at the bit. “Okay you weirdoes, let’s go upstairs and check out the karaoke set up.”
They let out a squeal like the nerds they were as we headed towards the elevator. The ride was only one floor up, so it wouldn’t have mattered, but Quinn asked anyways, “You going to be okay, Ace, when they get here?”
No!
Fuck No!
Instead, I smiled at my friend. “It’s cool, Q. He’s not the first guy to break my heart. He most definitely won’t be the last, I’m sure.” Of course, he’s the first guy to break my heart in a billion pieces, but I wasn’t going to argue semantics.
Ever the supporter, Isabella brought herself up tall. “The second it’s not cool, say the word, Avery, and we’ll bounce.” She gave me a pointed look. “I mean it.”
I loved my friends. “I’m good ladies. Let’s just have a good time.”
We reached our floor and were greeted by the rest of the team once we entered the room. Everyone was talking excitedly about how great everything looked. We introduced Isabella to everyone she hadn’t met at The Shack before going to check on the DJ.
It wasn’t until Quinn demanded her own personal karaoke song book, that I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. I called on all the strength I had to keep my atte
ntion on the DJ and Quinn’s demands of him. Isabella further confirmed my suspicions when she quietly whispered she’d be right back.
Quinn darted a quick look at me. “Are you okay, Ace.”
“I’m fine, Q,” I reassured her. Maybe I needed a motivation button that read ‘I Am Not My Mother’. I’m sure that would give me the strength and courage I needed to get through this thing.
She stink-eyed me, but then went back to bullying the DJ. Clearly we had established the priority for tonight.
Isabella returned, but she had Chase and Julian in tow. “Hey, ladies,” Chase greeted.
I turned to face them, hoping against all hope, that I wouldn’t break down in tears. “Hey, guys.”
Quinn was still staring down the DJ, as she addressed Chase. “Chase, will you please inform this gentleman, that the terms in which we hired him state that I get my own karaoke book?”
Chase wasn’t a fool. “What’s in it for me, babe?” My ears perked up at ‘babe’. To my knowledge, Chase called all women ‘sweetheart’.
Quinn turned her stink-eye on Chase. “Seriously?”
He stepped up to her, enough to invade her space. “How badly do you want that book, Quinn?”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “What do you want?”
Chase crowded her even more; to the point of inappropriateness. It seemed as though he didn’t care that he was surrounded by his employees. “What I’ve always wanted. You.”
I stood here spellbound, watching them negotiate. “Fine,” she conceded.
Isabella, Julian and I stood there in shock. Quinn and Chase were the only two who didn’t seem surprised by these turn of events. I knew there was something going on with those two idiots.
Chase turned to the DJ. “There’s an extra thousand dollar bonus for you at the end of the night in cash if she,” he jerked his head towards Quinn, “gets her own karaoke book.”
I started laughing when the DJ threw a book at Quinn so quickly; I’m surprised he didn’t conk her in the head with it. Chase turned and gave me a wink. “Have fun, ladies.”
And like the girls we were, I snatched Q by her arm. “Are you seriously going to sleep with Chase?”
Her eyes darted around and she bit her lip before answering, “I seriously think I am.”
“What?!” I was glad Iz blurted that question out at the same time I did. At least I wasn’t the only one shocked stupid here.
Q shrugged a dainty shoulder. “Well, the more I think about it, the more I think that he might be a good choice for me. He’s a player. There isn’t a chance in hell that he’ll get caught up in anything emotional. He’s the perfect person to have no-strings-attached sex with.
I wasn’t so sure. His rage was real the night he saw Simon sitting next to Quinn at Xavier’s. “Q, he’s not asking for a quick fuck tonight. When he said he wanted ‘you’, he meant he wants all of you?”
She quickly changed the subject. “Look people are starting to arrive. Let’s get this shindig started. Whatever happens with me and Chase, it’ll be fine.”
The good thing about the shock I was suffering from Quinn and Chase’s little get together, was that it helped me to forget about Nicholas. So off we went to mix and mingle.
I was able to avoid Nicholas by calculating when I would go check on the food, bar and dance floor. The party was in full swing and everyone seemed to be having a great time. I found myself back on the dance floor after checking on the bar and taking a couple of shots, but mostly checking on the bar. Quinn and Isabella had already sung their fair share of songs and the DJ did a great job of leveling out the dance music and karaoke.
Much to my surprise, the DJ decided to play a slow song, and because the universe gods clearly hated me, it was Gwen Stefani. When I went to run like the coward I was, I turned to find David blocking me. “Hey, Avery. How about a dance?” he asked me.
“Oh. Uh, I don’t know, I-”
He reached for my hand. “Come on. It’s just a dance, I promise.”
One dance couldn’t hurt, right? Besides, I liked David. He seemed like a good guy. So, I plastered a fake smile on my face and did my best to beam my answer, “Sure.”
David led me onto the dance floor and I was happy as punch when I saw many other dancing couples on the floor. I’ll admit, this was kind of taking me back to those middle school dances I used to attend, thinking I was going to find the boy of my dreams.
David took me into his arms and he was turning out to be a good dancer. I tried to break my mind away from the lyrics of the song, but I couldn’t. This song was literally describing my internal hell. I found myself holding onto David tighter.
He leaned back and lowered his head a bit to get my attention. “Hey there, sweet girl, are you alright?”
I looked up at him and I could tell he noticed the sheen glistening over my eyes. “I know this is odd as all hell, but without any questions and without any expectations, will you just hold me? Hold me like I matter? Hold me like I’m important?”
I must have sounded more unhinged than I thought, because David didn’t ask any questions and there was absolutely no judgment in his eyes when he gave me a slight nod. He rested his chin on the top of my head and held me close as he led the dance.
God, it felt so good. I didn’t care what any of those independent, man-hating women of the world said…nothing felt better than being wrapped up in the arms of a man. Except maybe being wrapped up in the arms of the man you loved; better yet, being wrapped up in the arms of the man who loved you.
We finished the dance and I was surprised I let him go. Poor guy probably thought he was going to need the Jaws of Life to escape my grip. David didn’t let me go completely, though. He held onto my shoulders, keeping me in place. “Stay right here. Don’t move.”
I stayed put…I mean, the man did let me cling to him all psycho-like. Plus I was curious as hell to see what this man was about.
I watched as he went up the DJ, and after a lot of arm waving and what appeared like begging or praying, the DJ handed David the karaoke mic.
He cleared his throat and then spoke into the mic. “Ladies and Gentlemen, please allow me to take over the stage. I’m warning you all now, I can’t sing to save my life, but sometimes a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.” Our co-workers started hootin’ and hollerin’ and his vibe was joyously contagious.
Iz and Q made their way over to me, no doubt, wondering what the hell was going on, as well. “What’s he doing, Ace?”
I shrugged my shoulders at Quinn’s question. “I have no idea.” And I didn’t, but that didn’t keep the smile off my face.
David pointed at me in true rock-n-roll fashion. “Avery Ellis, this is for you!”
The beginning bars of Bruno Mars’ Treasure came out of the speakers and I couldn’t help the laugh that shook my body. I watched as he sang horribly off key and all I could think was that he’s going to make someone a very good husband one day. The man must have sisters.
When he was done, the applause was deafening. He handed the DJ his mic back and jumped off the stage, making his way back to me. “You are a complete fool,” I exclaimed, but was still laughing.
He threw his arm around my neck. “Come on, sweet girl. Let’s go get drunk.”
As he led me away, he threw his head back and extended the invitation to Q and Iz. “You two hot chicks coming too, or what?”
I could hear Quinn’s acceptance, “Pfft, puhlease, like we weren’t already.”
I never left the bar again that night, until it was time to shut her down.
Nicholas~
Had it not been for the respect and love I had for Julian, Chase and all that we’ve accomplished, I would have ruined everything we worked our asses off for these past ten years, in a matter of seconds.
When I walked into the conference room/dance floor and saw Avery with Quinn and Isabella talking to the DJ, I had wanted to drag her up to my office so that we could talk. It’s been two weeks and I can’t desc
ribe in words the hollowness that’s been consuming me.
“You okay, man?” Julian asked. He and Chase both knew how fucked up I was over ending things with Avery, and the one thing I never felt with either of these men was embarrassment. Growing up the way we did, perseverance trumped embarrassment always. So, I had no problem telling them what went down between me and Avery that Saturday morning. I also had no problem telling them that I fucked up.
“Yeah, man. I’m good.” I wasn’t though. I really, really wasn’t.
Julian was spending most his time caught up with Isabella, and Chase was being Chase and making the rounds. Meanwhile, being the sad sack that I was, I was spending all my time looking around for Avery. I knew she was part of the party committee and had to check on the food and drinks, but a part of me was hoping she was avoiding me. Because if she was, that meant she still felt something for me and that mean not all was lost. Not yet, at least.
I was surprised when the DJ started to play a slow song in his rotation, but my entire body turned cold when I saw Avery walking hand in hand out onto the dance floor with that guy David, who she worked with on the committee.
I immediately felt Julian and Chase flank my sides, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from watching Avery in the arms of another man.
“It’s just a dance, Nick.” Julian’s words did nothing to calm the storm that was threatening to destroy me.
Chase pinged in. “It’s a party, Sav. It’s all just in good fun.”
I knew they were only trying to help, but considering that Chase lost his shit at Xavier’s just because some dude was sitting next to Quinn, and Julian would obliterate any man who dare touch Isabella, their words weren’t really sinking in. I stood there like a masochist and watched as David pulled Avery tighter into his body.
And she sank into him.
They weren’t dancing, they were holding onto one another.
Two weeks. All it took was for her to be free of me for two weeks and she was already in the arms of another man. In front of me, no less.
Catching Avery Page 28