She let out a small laugh. “You guys did come on pretty strong. I chalked it up to being used to getting what you guys wanted. I mean, come on, Nicholas, you have to know the kind of havoc the three of you together must create within the female population.”
Once upon a time, I may have been flattered, but not anymore. I didn’t want to wreak havoc on the female population. I just wanted to wreak havoc in the heart of this one woman. “I’m obsessed with you,” I blurted out, but the sound of her laughter was everything that is right in the world.
She grimaced. “Nicholas, don’t make me laugh.”
Shit!
“Oh, baby, I’m sorry…”
She waved away my concern. “It’s fine. I’m fine, honest.” She popped another piece of fruit in her mouth. “So, this obsession of yours….is it the healthy kind of obsession, like you think about me all the time and you miss me when I’m not around? Or is it the Julian over Izzy kind of obsession?”
“Somewhere in between, I think. Besides, have you seen Julian with Isabella? Whatever Julian feels for that girl, it goes way beyond obsession.” I didn’t want to share Julian’s business, but I think Avery needed a clear picture of what she was getting herself into. We were all seriously damaged. “After I told the guys what happened in my office with Katrina, Julian had panicked over Isabella’s reaction to it all. He was genuinely worried that Isabella was going to drop him over it. After all, she’s loyal to you just like he is to me. During all the commotion of the situation, Julian had made the comment that Isabella quieted his demons.”
“She calms him. I’ve seen it.”
“Avery, I need you to understand what I’m about to tell you, because it’s the honest truth.” I searched her eyes to make sure she was hearing me.
“Okay,” she whispered.
“Julian’s not the only one who has demons. Chase and I are battered with them, as well. SMA, the money, the success…they’ve help me live the life I want, but they’ve done nothing to eradicate the life I had. I want you.” I let out a smirked laugh. If I’m going to be honest, I needed to be completely honest. “I want you forever and before you argue that it’s too soon or this declaration is a result of the attack, it’s not. I knew I wanted to keep forever when having you meant more to me than putting Chase and Julian in a risky business situation. I was willing to ruin the reputation of SMA and drown Chase and Julian in lawsuits to have you.”
I stood up and grabbed Avery by her hips to sit her on top of the bar so that we could be eye to eye. “I don’t believe in love at first sight and the only love I’ve ever felt for anyone was that of the family kind. I love Chase, Julian, Chase’s brother and his mother like they are from my blood.” I took her face in my hands as gently as I could. “But you, Avery. I can’t explain in words how much I love you and I swear to you I will never let anyone ever hurt you again. And I will never let you leave me again.”
The tears started flowing again, but I didn’t bother to brush them away, because it wouldn’t have done any good. They were flowing pretty freely. “I love you, too.”
It wasn’t enough.
Unless you’re a man, it’s hard to understand the feeling of emasculation when you failed to protect the woman you loved. I had her love, but I still needed her forgiveness. “What else?”
“Uhm….I need you?” She voiced this like a question, so I shook my head.
“I…want you?” I shook my head at her answer again.
“Nicholas, I’m not about to confess to worshipping you. Your ego is big enough as it is being the investment genius that you are,” she chuckled.
“I don’t need you to worship me, Imp. I need something bigger than that.” I stroked a finger over the cut that ran down her face as softly as I could. It was then that I could see she finally knew what I meant.
“Oh, Nicholas,” Avery placed her hand over mine, over the one that I ran down her face, “there’s nothing to forgive. You couldn’t have known Eric was going to lose his shit. None of us could have known. I dated the man for almost two years and I would never have guessed he could do what he did or be involved in what he was. Nicholas, I don’t blame you for any of this. God, how could I?”
She wasn’t a man, so she didn’t understand. “Doesn’t matter, Imp, I need you to say it. I need you to convince me. I need your complete confidence in me.” I know I sounded like a pussy, but I couldn’t look at her beaten face and not feel like one.
“Nicholas, if you need my forgiveness, then you have it. Just know that the only person to blame here is Eric….just Eric.”
“Yeah, but-”
She stopped me. “Nicholas, how would you feel if I told you that I felt like all this was my fault?”
I immediately got heated. “That’s bullshit, Avery.”
“No, just hear me out.” She waited until I nodded my compliance. “I’m the one who invited him into my life by dating him. I’m the one who believed him when he apologized and said he wanted to be friends. I’m the one who still remained friendly with him even though I knew better. So, does all that mean I’m to blame for this?”
I understood the point she was trying to make, and while it helped, it didn’t completely erase the guilt. “You made your point, Imp.”
“No one needs to feel guilty about this, Nicholas. I have no doubt Iz and Q are killing themselves over letting me leave the party alone.” She closed her eyes and took another deep breath. “Do you know how they knew I was being attacked?”
I didn’t know anything about what happened, other than Eric had attacked her and Julian saved her. “No.”
“I had just sent Q a text that I made it home safely, so my phone was still in my hand the first time Eric struck me. Just before the phone flew out of my hands, one of my fingers hit the call icon and Q answered. She could hear Eric yelling at me and she grabbed Iz and rushed out of the party. Chase and Julian just happened to be with them, so that’s how they all ended up at my apartment.” The details were gutting me wide open. “Because I know Q and Iz, I know they were feeling terrified and helpless at having to actually hear me being attacked over the phone, knowing at any moment they could be too late. I don’t want any of you guys feeling responsible for this.”
I stepped in between her legs and wrapped her up in my arms. “I love you, Imp.”
I left out the part where I was going to spend every cent I had to make sure Eric spends the next twenty years in prison.
Avery~
I’m not going to lie. The attacked left me more of a mess than I was letting on. I wasn’t down playing it because I thought anyone would judge me, I just didn’t want to let Eric win. The cut that ran down my face was going to be a daily reminder as it was, I didn’t need to give him more of myself than I already had.
It was Sunday evening, and even though the gang did their best to put my apartment back together, Nicholas hadn’t let me go home. I’m not complaining, though. All his pampering had me feeling like the Queen of Sheeba.
I felt a kiss on the top of my head before Nicholas hopped over the backrest of the couch to join me in my laziness. “Whatcha watching, Imp?”
“Investigation Discovery, Fatal Vows.” There were only a handful of channels I watched, ESPN for sports, Comedy Central for South Park, True TV for Impractical Jokers, Oxygen for Snapped and Investigation Discovery for anything that they aired. I spent a lot of my television time on Investigation Discovery and what I have learned from this informational channel was that people were fucking crazy!
Oh, and to make sure my husband’s life insurance policy was enough to cover his funeral and that’s it. Anything over fifty grand would make me the prime suspect in the event my husband went missing or turned up dead. I’m not trying to go to prison if my future husband turns out to be or moron who’s mistress ends up making off with his dismembered body….just saying.
“Uh, interesting choice in television programming.” Nicholas cradled himself in the crook of the couch then dragged me over so m
y back was resting on his chest. It was comfortable, cozy and very, very domestic.
It was perfect.
“Do you have life insurance?”
There was a heartbeat of silence before he answered, “Uh, yeah.”
“Hm. I figured. Most important people do.”
He lasted all about thirty seconds before he responded, “I’m no more important than anyone else, Imp.”
I snorted. “Pfft. I’ll bet you one of my paychecks all those people who you’ve made rich would disagree.”
“This show giving you ideas, is it?” He encircled in his arms and brought his right hand under my shirt…well, his shirt…and started stroking my stomach with his thumb.
“This show just fascinates me. People are fucking crazy, Nicholas.” I shared, you know…just in case he wasn’t already aware.
I felt the rumble in his chest as he laughed. “Well, right now, my beneficiaries have more than enough money themselves. I doubt they have any immediate plans to kill me to get their hands on my money.”
Knowing what I now knew about him, I wasn’t surprised to hear that Chase and Julian were his beneficiaries. “I have enough life insurance to cover my funeral costs, but I don’t need any more than that since I don’t own anything.”
Nicholas was quiet long enough to make me believe we were done with this conversation, but then he cleared his throat and spoke, “You do...uh, realize that once we’re married, you’re going to own quite a lot, right?”
I scrambled up out of his hold so abruptly, I fell on the floor. “Oomph.”
“Goddammit, Avery!” Nicholas jumped up off the couch and gathered me up in his arms and off the floor. “You have enough bumps and bruises, don’t you think?” I stood there in shocked silence as he ran his hands over my body to make sure I was ok. “Jesus, Avery, you need to be more careful.”
I blame this entire neurotic episode on all the stress of these past couple of days. “Jesus? Jesus?!” He wisely took a step back. “You can’t just say shit like that, Nicholas!”
“Shit like what, Imp?”
“Like what? Are you kidding me? You can just throw the word ‘married’ around randomly and all casual like and expect me not to fall off the couch.”
He mashed his lips together to, either suppress a smile or in calculation of what to do next. “Actually, I was sort of under the impression that I could hold conversations with you without the threat of you throwing yourself off random furniture pieces. Uh…my mistake?”
I planted my hands on my hips. “Not funny, Nicholas. Not funny.”
And then the prick did start laughing at me. “Oh, come on, Avery. You had to know that we’d be getting married at some point.”
I tried my best to Quinn-Stink-Eye him. “I had hoped that one day, after an adequate amount of dating, we would take the natural steps of moving in together first and then after an acceptable amount of living together, when we were positive that we could cohabitate without murdering one another, then you’d propose and then after an appropriate length of engagement, we’d finally marry.” I waved my hand in an ‘in the future’ motion. “You know, way down the line.”
This jackass started laughing harder.
“I don’t need this,” I huffed. “You, Nicholas Savage, are a jerk, sir!” I turned away from him with some half ass plan to flee his penthouse, but I didn’t even make it one step.
He grabbed my shoulders to prevent me from walking away from him. “Okay, Okay. I’m sorry for laughing, but, goddamn, you’re perfect.”
Okay, maybe he wasn’t such a jerk after all, but I still folded my arms waiting for him to continue.
“Baby, there’s not going to be any adequate, acceptable, appropriate shit going down with this courtship. The second I walked you out of your apartment on Friday, you were never going to go back.” I opened my mouth to interrupt, but he shh’d me. “The guys aren’t cleaning your apartment, Imp, they’re packing it up.”
My mouth dropped open. It couldn’t be helped. “Dude! You can’t just move me out of my apartment without discussing it with me first. Are you insane?”
It’s amazing how gorgeous this man was, no matter his mood. Because let me tell you, he went from laughter to seriousness in a millisecond. “There’s nothing to discuss. Over my dead body, will you go back to that shit for security building.”
“Then I’ll move. The company I work for pays me generously enough that I can find a more secure apartment building.” I caved to this easily, because deep down, I really didn’t want to go back there. Knowing Eric was in jail wasn’t enough to curb the anxiety I felt over the attack.
“Avery, I plan on spending the rest of my life catering to your every madness, but I will not back down on this. All your shit will be packed and shipped here by the end of the week. I’ve already contacted your landlord and since your two best friends are on board with this, I really don’t see any way out of this for you.”
“Nich-”
“Shh, woman.” I’m not going to lie. That kind of got me hot, so I let him continue. “Also, you’re on a two week vacation starting tomorrow so you can heal and unpack all your stuff and do whatever it is you women do that makes a house a home. As far as…oh, fuck it.”
He fled the living room and went into what I think was his office because I really couldn’t see which room he was going towards. I stood there wondering if my neurosis was contagious, because he was acting unbalanced.
He came back with a small jewelry box in his hand, and as God as my witness, plucked the single solitaire ring out of its cushion, tossed the box aside to land on the couch and slipped it on my ring finger. “We can be engaged for however long you want…as long as it doesn’t exceed a year…but you will be living here and you will be engaged to me and you will eventually marry me inside a fucking year. Period, Imp.”
I stood there spellbound and speechless.
When I was young and fantasized about how my boyfriend would one day propose to me, I had to say…this wasn’t even close.
I always expected to be asked, not told.
And then a thought occurred to me. “What about work, Nich-”
“Fuck what anyone at work says. Julian is your immediate boss, Imp. As long as you don’t work directly for me, there’s nothing inappropriate about our relationship.”
I cocked my head at him. “Nothing?”
He gave me a smirk that, I swear to God, was designed to melt panties. “Well, except maybe, when I’m bending you over my desk during lunch.” The fucker winked at me.
I stepped to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I had to crank my head back to be able to look at him, but my neck could suffer for the rest of my life if Nicholas’ face was always the sight before me. I spoke my one true fear, “You promise to love only me? You promise to want only me?” I couldn’t stop my eyes from glossing over. “When it’s been ten years and my body has given you children, so it’s not youthful anymore and when I choose to laze around the house in pajama pants instead of a nice, respectable outfit…are you positive you’re still going to only want me? If you-”
Nicholas grabbed my arms and removed them from his waist as he maneuvered me to sit on the couch and then he did something I never thought I’d ever see this money making genius do. He knelt down in front of me and the fact that we weren’t naked was what made this moment matter.
Nicholas was on his knees for me.
He took my face in his hands. “Avery, I know this thing between us may seem whirlwind to you, but I’m not a whirlwind kind of man. What I feel for you consumes every edge of my soul. I love you and I’m going to love you with my last dying breath.” I couldn’t stop the tears that were openly streaming down my face. “You don’t need to ever feel insecure when it comes to other women, Imp. I can’t see past you long enough to even notice other women. It’s you and it’ll only ever be you. Fake marrying you at Xavier’s was the best decision I ever made.” He kissed me softly before delivering his final conviction. �
��I would even go back to my childhood neighborhood and live with Donna as long as you were with me, Avery. I’ll always need you more than you’ll ever need me.”
I was a bawling mess by this point, but I threw myself at him, knocking him onto his back. He didn’t waver though. He held me on top of him as I cried and dribbled snot onto his chest. “Un wuv oo.”
I felt him let out a deep breath underneath me. “I love you too, Imp, and when I’m on my deathbed, I will be able to say that I loved only once and it was forever.”
We stayed like that on the floor for a while as the T.V. played in the background. “So, about that life insurance…”
He laughed. “You don’t need it because everything I have is yours anyways.”
Now it was my turn to laugh. I found this wonderful man and I knew with unwavering certainty that I was going to be loved better than my mother ever was.
Nicholas was going to love me and only me.
Forever.
Epilogue
It’s been a month since Nicholas moved me into his apartment and made me his fiancé, and it’s been a month since the night Eric attacked me. The only lasting effect of the beating was the faint scar that ran down the left side of my face, and even though Nicholas offered to pay for plastic surgery, I refused.
It was hard to explain, but the same incident that scarred me is the same incident that made me a stronger, more confident person. I’m not ready to remove my reminder just yet.
Eric was sentenced to fifteen years in prison earlier this week. The D.A. was originally going to go for the maximum sentence-mostly because Nicholas was wealthily unstable-but when the D.A. said Eric was willing to accept a plea deal, I gave him permission to offer one. The sooner this was behind me, the sooner we could all move on. This situation had affected my friends as well, and I just wanted us all to move past it, especially Nicholas.
Catching Avery Page 31