“Yours too,” she ordered.
I looked up at her. It was hard to believe this woman had once felt she couldn’t live anymore. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”
A blush climbed up her cheeks. “You’re not so bad yourself,” she countered.
“Can’t even take a compliment,” I mumbled. I rolled off the bed, worked my pants down my legs, and dragged my socks off too.
She leaned up on her elbows. “You need to do that slower next time. I’m always up for a show.”
“The things that come out of your mouth lately surprise the hell out of me.”
“You can blame Karmen for that. She told me whenever I’m afraid, or the bullshit in my head starts swirling, to just say out loud whatever it is bugging me.”
I was going to have thank Karmen the next time I saw her. Not only was Wren finally letting go of all of that bullshit, she was opening up to me. “So are you scared or is the bullshit swirling right now?”
She bite her lip. “Uh, I think this is more of a nervous chatter.”
“Good nervous or bad nervous?”
“The good variety.” Her voice was unsure, and her eyes darted to the side.
“Wren.”
She looked up at me. “You standing there looking all sexy is making the nerves worse because I think you’re judging me even though I’m sure you’re not, but now that I said it out loud, the bullshit is starting to swirl.”
I put a knee on the bed.
She held up her hand. “Stop.”
Fuck. She was running. I didn’t move because I wasn’t sure what was going on in herhead. “Talk to me, Wren.”
She gulped and kept her eyes on me. “I’m scared because I want this so bad. I shouldn’t.”
“Why the hell shouldn’t you want this?”
Her eyes dropped to my chest. “Because I’m not…I’ve been…,” she trailed off, choking on her words.
“You think you’re not worthy, Wren? You think you don’t deserve to be happy?”
She nodded her head. Her fingers swiped away the tears that were starting to fall.
My hatred for the Hell Captains intensified. Even in my bed with Wren, they were still haunting her. “Look at me,” I rumbled.
She shook her head. “I’m not what you think I am, Maniac.” She looked up at me with tear-stained cheeks.
Mother fucker. The light that had been in her eyes was gone. “I’m gonna sit down next to you, darlin’. Is that okay?” I wasn’t sure that had set her off, but I didn’t want to make it any worse.
She nodded and scooted to the head of the bed. I planted my other knee on the bed and moved to sit in front of her. I longed to touch and comfort her, but I knew her wall was firmly up right now. “Talk to me,” I said again.
She shook her head. “I can’t say it out loud.”
I clenched my fists in my lap. “You can tell me anything, Wren. You know I don’t judge you for what happened.”
She shook her head faster. “You’ll think I’m a slut.”
My hatred for the Hell Captains burned all the way up to my throat. They had put that thought in her head. They had made her feel something she wasn’t. “Why would I think that?”
She looked up at me, her eyes soulless. “Because I liked it sometimes. Not all of the time, hardly any of the time, but there were times I couldn’t control my body.” The words rushed out of her mouth, and a fresh set of tears cascaded from her eyes. “I…I’m not….”
I slowly closed my eyes.
I was going to kill every one of those fuckers one by one and then burn their clubhouse to the ground.
*
Chapter 17
Wren
I was disgusting.
He couldn’t even look at me anymore.
He loves you. I pushed the thought out of my head. No one could love me after knowing that. I had been taken against my will time and time again, and my body had liked it sometimes. I had tried to fight it, but I couldn’t.
I closed my eyes and tried to fight off the wave of nausea that overcame me whenever I thought about it.
“I love you.”
And now I was hallucinating. My brain was really twisted because I swore Maniac had just told me he loved me.
“Wren, open your eyes.”
I shook my head and clenched my eyes shut. I couldn’t open them and see the look of disgust on his face. When I left here, I wanted to remember Maniac looking at me with love in his eyes, not this.
His fingers grabbed my hands, and I tried to pull away. “Please don’t do this, Maniac. You can leave. Don’t think you have to stay.”
“Open your fucking eyes,” he growled low.
He was upset. I should have known. Maniac wasn’t the type of man you lied to. “I’m so sorry,” I sobbed. I opened my eyes, but the tears glassed everything over. “I’m so sorry,” I repeated.
He gathered me in his arms and pulled me into his lap. I couldn’t fight him. My sobs racked my body, and I couldn’t stop crying.
“Shh, Wren. You gotta breathe for me, darlin’.”
I shook my head, unable to get any words out.
He held me in his lap, rocking me gently.
I curled into his embrace, knowing this would be the last time he would touch me. I needed to soak it all in and live off this memory for the rest of my life.
“Wren, I love you. You gotta get a grip.”
I ignored his words. He was just trying to get me calmed down enough so he could leave. He was a good guy who wouldn’t leave me sobbing on the floor. He loves you, Wren.
That wasn’t possible.
“You didn’t like what they did to you, Wren. That was just your body responding, but you didn’t like it.”
“But, but…why did I feel like that?” I hiccuped.
“You didn’t feel what you think you did.”
He didn’t understand it. There were moments where it felt good.
“Did you love any of them, Wren?”
What? “Of course not.”
“Did you even remotely like any of them?”
“Not at all. They… I didn’t want to have sex with them.”
“Then you didn’t fucking like it.” He ran his fingers through my hair. “You’ve got it twisted in your head, darlin’. That was just a reaction that your body liked.”
I hiccuped again and buried my face in his neck. “You can’t love me.”
“Too late.”
I shook my head. “I thought I was doing good. That they didn’t have any control over me anymore.”
“They don’t have control over you, Wren. Everything you are feeling is normal, and by getting it out, it’s helping you to heal.”
“Why are you such a good guy?” Guys like Maniac didn’t exist. They were only found in movies and books where the virgin, untouched girl falls into the arms of the hero. This wasn’t a movie or a book. This was my fucked up life where the happy ending wasn’t in my cards anymore.
“I’m not a good guy, Wren, except for when it comes to you. You’re ashamed of what happened to you, but there are things in my life I’ve done and will do that are just as bad. And the thing of it is, I chose to do those things. You didn’t choose any of this for you.”
I let his words sink in. I had screamed no a hundred times, each and every time. I had pleaded and begged for them to stop. There hadn’t been anything else for me to do. “I didn’t want any of it,” I whispered. Realization dawned on me. I tilted my head back to look at him. “I didn’t want it.”
He brushed back my hair. “I know, darlin’, I know.”
I laid my head back on his shoulder and sighed. “Well, that really ruined the mood.”
His body shook under me. “We’ll get the mood back another time. I think we needed to get that out of the way.”
And we did.
A weight had been lifted off my shoulders. There wasn’t anything more to tell Maniac. It was all out there, and he hadn’t turned away or pushed me away. I had gi
ven it to him, and he had made it better.
I didn't ask for any of this. I wasn’t at fault for it.
And I was still worthy.
*
Maniac
Her chest silently rose and fell.
It was three-thirty, and she had fallen asleep hours ago.
Telling me everything had exhausted her. She had given me everything now, and while she was healing, I was raging.
The Hell Captains didn’t know what was about to hit them.
They had messed with the wrong woman.
Now I was coming for them.
*
Chapter 18
Wren
“Can you grab me the milk?”
Maniac opened the fridge. “Anything else you need?”
I looked at the three bags of cheese, brick of cream cheese, and pile of crispy bacon. “Nope, that should be it.” I was making my delicious bacon mac and cheese for Maniac. He had mentioned in passing he missed his mom’s mac and cheese, so I decided I would make him my own. I’m sure it wouldn’t be as good as his mom’s but hoped it would come in a close second.
It had been five days since my breakdown. Maniac kept his distance, but I could tell the only reason he did was because he didn’t want me to spiral out of control again. I couldn’t really blame the guy.
He set the milk down next to me and peeked over my shoulder. “That’s a lot of fucking cheese.”
The overuse of the word fuck had annoyed me before, but now it had become something I liked about Maniac. I knew when he used the word, he meant it passionately. Right now, he was excited about the amount of cheese I was using.
His front brushed against my back, and I slightly stepped back. His arm wrapped around my waist. “Whoa there, darlin’.”
He had thought I had lost my balance, when really I wanted to feel his body against mine. I turned my head and inhaled his scent.
The arm he had wrapped around me tightened. “What are you doing?”
“I missed you.” I had. We had become close. Brushing against each other. Touching for no reason, and that had all changed. I wanted it back.
“I’ve been right here.”
I shook my head. “You’ve been here, but I want you here.” I twisted around and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Kiss me.”
He looked down at me, unsure.
Every doubt he had about us was written on his face. “Wow, now I know what you mean when you say you can hear me thinking.”
“Get out of my head, woman,” he grumbled. “I just wanna know for sure this is what you want. I can wait for you as long as it takes, Wren.”
I ran my fingers through his hair. “Kiss me.”
“Fuck it,” he growled.
His lips crashed down on mine. All the tension from the past five days disappeared, and it felt like I was finally home. My fingers gripped and tugged at his hair while his hands roamed over my back. “Maniac,” I gasped against his lips.
“Fuck, Wren. Just fuck.” There was my favorite word out of his mouth. His hands gripping my ass, and he lifted me up on to the counter. Cheese went flying, and the milk fell into the sink. Neither of us cared.
I spread my legs wide, and he wedged his body in between. “You okay?”
I nodded and rested my arms on his shoulders. “I’d be better if you were kissing me.”
“So demanding,” he mumbled against my lips.
“You like it.”
“Damn fucking straight I do.” His lips possessed mine, giving me what I had been craving.
His tongue stroked mine, and my hands delved into his hair, holding on while my overwhelming desire took over. Small moans and gasps escaped my lips as his hands roamed over my back.
He pulled my shirt over my head. “Best fucking sight I’ve ever seen in my life.” His voice was rougher than usual, and his eyes were hooded with desire and lust for me.
I ran my hands over his chest. “Take yours off.”
His shirt went sailing through the air before I even had the last word out of my mouth. “You need to turn the stove or anything off?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I hadn’t started yet. I had other plans.”
He chuckled and rested his hands on my waist. “Is that so? Are you trying to take advantage of me right now, Miss Glass?”
I batted my eyelashes. “Would you be offended by that?”
“Pretty sure you could do whatever you wanted to with me as long as your shirt is off and your end game is being naked with me.”
“That sounds like a pretty good ending to me,” I whispered. My lips felt bruised from his kisses, but I wanted more.
“Whatever you want, darlin’.”
My breath caught when his mouth touched my nipple, and his hands palmed my ass. “Bed,” he growled against my skin.
He hoisted me up into his arms, his mouth never leaving my breast. “My legs work,” I gasped as he tossed me on the bed.
I watched as he kicked off his boots and took off his pants. “I like carrying you around.” He crawled up from the end of the bed and covered my body with his. “Is that okay with you?”
A sigh escaped my lips. “I suppose it is, if you insist.”
He shook his head and chuckled. “I think some of that goofiness of your friends is wearing off on you.”
I threw him a wink. “Hate to break it to you, handsome, but every woman has a bit of goofy in her. If they say they don’t, they’re lying.” I leaned up on my elbows and watched as his hands swirled circles on my stomach.
“Not really interested in other women anymore.”
I hummed under my breath. “Good answer.” I gasped as he leaned down and pressed kisses to my breasts while his fingers unhooked the button on my jeans.
“You have too many clothes on,” he mumbled.
“Hate when that happens,” I whispered.
“Don’t worry, I’ll handle this.” He deftly took off my pants, his touch leaving me for barely a second before he was back on top of me.
“That was rather impressive. You managed to get the panties too,” I giggled.
He kissed me hard and deep then his mouth went from mine, across my cheek to my ear, and I pressed my body up to him. My fingers dug into his back, and another moan escaped my lips.
“So fucking responsive,” he whispered in my ear. His hand trailed down my stomach swiftly and was suddenly cupping my mound. His touch was light, and his eyes locked with mine.
I turned my head and touched the tip of my tongue to his ear. “I’m yours.”
“God dammit, Wren,” he groaned. His fingers parted the lips of my pussy and gently circled my clit. His lips crashed down on mine. This kiss was not light, gentle, or sweet. It was greedy and demanding. Taking what he wanted, and I was left panting with need.
His fingers deftly stroked my clit, driving me to the brink of desire. “Faster,” I panted. He kissed down my neck and over my breasts while his fingers sped up.
“Is this what you want, darlin’?”
Dammit, but I loved when he called me darlin’. “Yes,” I moaned. Whatever Maniac wanted to give me, I would take. “I want more.”
“More what?” he demanded.
“More of you. I want all of you.”
His eyes connected with mine. “Tell me exactly what you want.”
“I want you, inside me.” I swallowed hard. “I want your cock.” The words left my mouth, and I didn’t even blush. I wanted him so bad I was ready to shout from the rooftops I wanted his cock.
His eyes held mine and kept hold while he positioned himself between my legs and stroked his cock between us. “I need to hear it again, Wren.”
“I need you, Maniac. I want you and only you,” I pleaded. My voice was strained, and I was ready to come all over his hand.
An animalistic groan ripped from his lips. My badass alpha was ready to come out and play. “You’re mine.” He plunged deep inside me, his eyes still holding mine. “You’ll always be mine,” he vowed. His
eyes trailed down my body and watched his dick slowly plunge in and out. “Watch. Watch me take you.”
I watched him sink slowly into me, fighting the desire to let my eyes drift shut. All I wanted to do was float on the pleasure he was giving me. Good God, I was about to come. Not even thirty seconds in, and I was about to fly apart.
“You feel so fucking good.”
His words surrounded me, and my eyes drifted shut. I couldn’t fight it. My back arched, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close to my lips. “I’m so close,” I whimpered. “Hurry.” My need was frantic, and Maniac was the only one who could calm me.
I lifted my hips, encouraging him to go faster and deeper.
His hand trailed down between our bodies, seeking out my clit.
I shoved my face in his neck, unable to take much more. I held on as my desire broke, and my orgasm crashed over me.
Maniac’s hand drifted up my thigh, and then he lifted my legs so the backs of my knees were hooked in the crooks of his elbows. My legs spread wide as he loomed over me, and I sucked in a deep breath.
His eyes connected with mine while the traces of my orgasm ebbed, and I got to watch. I watched the man who had saved me, fought for me, and now loved me.
I held my breath as I watched the raw hunger and desire that consumed his face.
“Maniac,” I breathed out. I didn’t know how he was doing it, but I was going to come again.
He slowed his pace. Jesus Christ. The man was going to be the death of me. I wasn’t sure I could take much more.
He plunged back into me. My pussy tightened around him, milking his cock. “Holy fuck,” he growled between gritted teeth. In and out. With each glide, my desire built until I exploded around him again.
“Yes, yes, yes!” I screamed.
He let go of my legs, his body falling on top of me, and drove into me. Faster and faster. His jaw clenched, and he buried his face in my neck. A low growl rumbled from his chest as he emptied his come inside me.
Wow.
Holy wow.
“Wren,” he gasped as he tried to catch his breath.
“Yeah?” I whispered.
“That was…fuck.” He dropped his body to the side and cradled me in his arms.
Fallen Lords MC: Books 1-3 Page 50