Kiss Me, Macrae: A Winter Novella

by Amy Sandas

  When her warm whisky eyes flicked up to meet his, a forceful hitch caught in his chest. And when she offered a smile, Baird was fairly certain his heart stopped.

  It was a feeling he’d had so often since their first encounter. The sense that all the pieces he’d known to be right and good had fallen perfectly into place in a design that was beautifully meant to be.

  But then her smile slipped and a frown tugged at her brow. “What’s the matter?”

  Baird shook his head. “There’s naught the matter.”

  “Then why did we stop?”

  Had they?

  Baird hadn’t realized. He huffed a breath in an attempt to calm his racing heart. “Just a wee bit farther.”

  Around the next curve, the rocky path opened up to a small valley. Nestled between dramatic, sloping hills, the valley had always been Aileen’s favorite place. This was where she’d run about with her favorite hound, frolicked in the fall of water that cascaded from the mountain side into a quiet little pool in summer, staged elaborate picnics, and sat amongst the snow drifts in quiet contemplation. As a child, she’d named the place Fairy Glen, and as she’d grown into a young woman, the magic of the hidden valley never left her.

  He stopped atop a rocky outcropping overlooking the valley. As Miss Smithson came to stand beside him, a weight of near-breathless anticipation expanded in his chest. He’d expected this moment to be poignant, but he couldn’t have known how deeply he’d be affected when he turned to look at her and saw the rapt expression on her face.

  Pale pink highlighted her cheeks as her dark eyes widened to take in the scene. Parting her lips on a gentle sigh, she slid her hand into his.

  Baird was fairly certain she didn’t even realize she’d done it, but he curled his fingers around hers with an ache of contented longing. It was sweetly painful in all the right ways.

  “It’s lovely,” she whispered after a long moment. “She loved this place, didn’t she? Your sister?”

  “Aye.”

  She offered him a quiet smile as she squeezed his hand. It seemed she was aware of it cradled in his after all.

  “Where will you build it?”

  Baird pointed to a spot near the mountain pool where the view of the valley would be different when seen through each of the six archways she’d designed. In the spring and summer, the sound of water rollicking down the mountainside would provide nature’s song and the pool it formed would reflect the structure like a mirror.

  “Perfect,” she breathed.

  “Ye dinnae mind if I use yer design?”

  She glanced at him with a touch of surprise. “Of course not. It’s yours.”

  “I’ll pay—”

  “No. You will not,” she interrupted sharply.

  “I’ve not the proper words to thank ye for such a gift.” Baird cleared his throat. “I only wish she could be here tae see it.”

  “She is.” The confidence in her tone soothed the raw surface of his emotions.

  He managed a smile. “Aye.”

  “And others will be able to enjoy the beauty and magic of this place as she did.”

  “That’s my hope,” he admitted roughly. “For a long time after…I avoided this place. It didnae make sense it could still exist without her. She was everything bright and beautiful and then she was gone.”

  Emotion rose in him sudden and heavy and overwhelming. He lowered his chin and sucked in a swift breath, but it didn’t dispel the lump in his throat any more than tightly closing his eyes stopped the burn of tears.

  Within a quiet heartbeat, she was there, pressing her body to his. He tilted his head and buried his face in her hair as she slipped her arms around him. With a ragged inhale, he pulled her close.

  She said nothing—did not try to placate or talk away his swell of grief. She simply held him.

  And after a bit, the grief softened and the pain receded until he could lift his head and look down at her upturned face. “It feels good tae share this place. Tae ken it’ll bring peace and happiness tae others as it did tae Aileen.”

  “It’s a beautiful way to honor her memory.”

  “Thank ye, lass.” He offered a smile.

  Her mouth curved gently in response. “You’re welcome.”

  Baird’s arms tightened around her. When her eyes went all warm and dark, he had to clench his back teeth to keep from lowering his head toward hers.

  He held his breath, silently begging her to ask…

  “We should head back.”

  Despite a sharp stab of disappointment, when she stepped back, he let her go.

  As they carefully made their way back the way they’d come, Baird decided to satisfy his curiosity. “How did ye develop a skill for architectural design?”

  There was a pause before she answered. Baird would have looked back at her, but the slope of the path required his attention. He did wonder, however, at the flat tone in her voice when she finally replied.

  “My father heads an architecture firm in New York City.”

  When she said nothing more, Baird was forced to prompt her. “That doesnae exactly explain how ye came tae possess such a talent.”

  Her sigh was quiet, but he heard it. “I loved to page through his books when I was a child. Architecture fascinated me. Nothing else is so perfectly capable of combining creativity and imagination with purposeful form and function. Architecture is a magical blend of art, science, history, and mathematics.”

  “I never thought of it in such a way.”

  “My fascination continued to grow as I became an adult. My father didn’t discourage my interest so much as he simply couldn’t be bothered to concern himself with it. As long as I stayed out of his way, he didn’t object to my presence at his downtown offices, so I spent as much time there as possible.”

  “D’ya hope tae join your da’s firm someday?” The thought of her returning to America caused a tight clench of denial in his gut, but there was no doubt she’d make a fine architect. In addition to the talent made obvious in the quick sketch she’d made for him, there was a force in this woman—a drive and hunger—that she kept so carefully controlled. He suspected it would be an unstoppable force if she gave it free rein.

  He was so distracted by imaginings of her behind a huge drafting table in a fine big-city office that it took him a moment to realize she hadn’t answered his question right away. Then only with a curt, “No.”

  Baird looked over at her then and saw the tension bracketing her mouth. Her gaze was cast toward her feet but he caught a glimpse of the shadows in her usually lively eyes. The stiffness in her shoulders was evident even beneath the heavy cloak she wore.

  “Is there any chance I’d be able tae interest ye in takin’ a closer look at the plans for the restoration? I understand if ye’d rather not, but there’re a few elements that havenae been sorted yet and I’d love tae ken what ye think. I’d offer proper compensation for yer time, of course.”

  When she didn’t reply right away, he worried he might have overstepped—or worse, insulted the woman somehow. She wore an odd expression and he couldn’t quite read what he saw in her eyes.

  “You’d like me to work on your plans?” she finally asked, a bit stiffly.

  Baird tilted his head. “Aye. The architects in Edinburgh decided they couldnae do much more. I’m hopin’ ye’ll have some ideas.”

  There was a long pause, then a flash of something bright in her eyes. “All right.”

  Chapter 12

  It was two days before the winter holiday and the Earl and Countess of Darrow’s second annual Christmas party was a grand display.

  The castle entry was illuminated with fairy lights that welcomed the guests as they arrived. Fresh boughs of pine and holly tied with large red velvet bows filled the space with wintry scents. A garland of greenery and lights drew the flow of people up the grand staircase to the second-floor ballroom and adjoining sitting rooms.

  With dinner planned for much later, the first part of the evening wa
s reserved for dancing and socializing.

  Baird greeted old friends and stopped on occasion to speak with those he hadn’t seen in a while, but his attention continually swept outward over the swiftly filling ballroom. Anticipation filled his body with tension and tingling hope as he searched for one woman amongst so many.

  And then there she was, partnered with a local peer for a country dance.

  The light of the chandeliers overhead made her dark hair gleam like satin and her skin glow with warmth as she swirled on her partner’s arm. Her gown was a shade of silver so pale, it looked like frost in the moonlight. A necklace of sapphires and diamonds encircled her throat while matching jewels dangled from her ears.

  She was so beautiful it made his teeth ache.

  Baird ached to claim the woman as his once and for all, in front of everyone present so they’d know she was his as fully as he was hers. His stomach tightened with the craving inside him that grew with every encounter. Flashing visions of that morning at the inn continued to haunt his sleepless nights.

  But his desire for Miss Allegra Smithson went so far beyond the sensual.

  He’d come to value the forthright way she expressed her thoughts. She was dynamic, bold, and supremely confident. In the last few days they’d spent together in the library, going over blueprints for the restoration of his home, he’d come to understand how it was her passion and discipline together that had facilitated her mastery of architecture.

  He’d never been so awed by someone’s skill and talent as he was when watching her work out the problems of his unfinished plans. It was amazing to see her so utterly in her element as she sat at the desk, intent upon putting whatever ideas were flying through her head onto the paper. After only a few days and countless hours, she’d already created several viable solutions to see the project to final completion.

  Their time together in the library had allowed him a glimpse into just how amazing she truly was. But it had not lent itself toward any further discussions of a personal or romantic nature.

  Tonight, however, was made for such things and he intended to take advantage of that.

  As the country dance finally came to an end, her partner led her off toward the refreshment table. Before they stepped from the dance floor, her dark gaze swept in Baird’s direction, as though she knew exactly where he’d been standing. What he saw in the depths of her brown eyes tightened his chest.

  Uncertainty followed by a flash of longing.

  His stomach twisted. Did she sense his purpose?

  She’d admitted her physical desire for him, but she’d also declared nothing could come of it. Was she resisting him…or her feelings for him?

  Not willing to wait any longer, he strode swiftly across the ballroom. He had to know—tonight—if there was any hope of something more between them.

  Though he approached her from behind, he saw the moment she became aware of his presence by the slight tensing of her spine and the rush of goose bumps that spread across her nape.

  Her prior dance partner, Mr. Robertson, was still at her side. He smiled at Baird in welcome. “Macrae, it’s good to see you. It’s been a few years, aye?”

  “Aye,” Baird replied, “a few years at least.”

  She turned toward him slowly and his body tightened with the kind of anticipation he always experienced around her, never knowing if he’d catch a smile or scowl animating her lovely features. Tonight, her expression was neutral—likely due to the crush of strangers about—but he didn’t think he imagined the flicker of light deep in her gaze.

  He gave a bow. “Miss Smithson, if it isnae promised tae another, I’d like tae request yer next dance.”

  “I’m afraid it is promised.”

  “I believe you’re mistaken, Miss Smithson,” Robertson injected helpfully. “Didn’t you mention you had some time before your next partner?”

  Baird grinned while Miss Smithson’s dark eyes lowered to conceal her thoughts. “That’s right. Thank you for reminding me, Mr. Robertson.” She gave Baird a brief little nod. “I’d be honored, Mr. Macrae.”

  Chapter 13

  Tingling warmth spread through Allegra as Macrae took her hand in his and placed his other hand against her upper back in proper position for the waltz. The dance floor was a crush of people, but Macrae’s overwhelming presence and her own response to him blocked out everything beyond the circle of his arms.

  Trying not to appear the trembling mess she felt inside, she lifted her chin and met his focused regard with a challenging gaze.

  He smiled.

  And her heart melted.

  Why was this so difficult? Why was he so hard to resist?

  Why did she keep trying?

  A sense of rightness and anticipation infused every step of the waltz—as though it were just the beginning. A mere stepping stone to everything else that had been building between them over the last weeks and everything he’d been promising for their future.

  Allegra searched Macrae’s green eyes, seeking something to justify her continued doubt and resistance.

  Desire—though quiet and controlled—nearly filled his gaze. Intense and poignant, the sensual promise there angled straight through her center, spearing the most vulnerable part of her before pooling low with liquid heat. She parted her lips to catch a swift breath and his attention fell to her mouth. A flash of hunger and another pulse of heat had her fingers pressing into the material of his coat where her hand rested on his shoulder.

  Her response brought his gaze back to hers and she forced herself to look deeper. To see beyond the desire she didn’t—couldn’t—deny. Would she see a lie?

  He lowered his head toward her. He had to know she was looking for something, so why did it feel like he was opening himself to her?

  Because he had nothing to hide.

  An ache pressed outward from the center of her chest. A longing so deep she hadn’t known it existed. He drew it from her with his steady regard, his strength and humor and loyalty. With his roughened hands, the textured layers of his sinful voice, and the promises he’d made and kept.

  She wanted him to kiss her.

  “Ask me.”

  The roughness and quiet depth of his voice caressed her skin. The weight and warmth of it rolled through her blood. And his lips looked so perfect. Masculine, firm, generous.

  She wanted to. So badly she ached and trembled. But it wasn’t just about a kiss. It was about what came after.

  He claimed he wanted to marry her.

  She didn’t dare to believe him.

  “I can’t.”

  His brows lowered at her denial. Did he notice the choked sound of her voice? Could he guess how difficult it was to continue denying what she craved more than anything?

  “Tell me why.”

  In a burst of awareness, Allegra glanced about, suddenly recalling the fact that they were in a crowded ballroom. His hand on her back shifted subtly, his thumb brushing her bare skin in a soothing motion as he drew her closer in a protective reaction.

  Her heart swelled. Meeting his gaze again, she said, “Not here.”

  He nodded. Simple. Accepting.

  Then he maneuvered them toward the balcony doors, a few of which had been opened to allow cooling winter air into the heated ballroom. Others hovered by the entrance, taking in the chill night without stepping outdoors. Breaking from the waltz, Macrae tucked her hand into the bend of his elbow as he led her past everyone and straight out onto the balcony.

  The cold instantly embraced her, but it couldn’t dispel the heat of emotion rising inside her. They were several strides from the open doorway when he brought them to a stop. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw curious glances from those who had noticed their passing. They might be far enough that no one would hear their words, but everyone could still see them.

  “Would ye rather continue ’til we’re oot of sight?”

  She shook her head. “No need to give anyone reason to suspect impropriety.”

  “The
se people’ve known me since I was a lad. They ken I wouldnae dishonor ye.”

  She sighed. If only she could be as certain of the same.

  “Allegra.” His voice was low and beautiful as he said her given name for the first time. “If I’m wrong about yer desire for me, tell me now.”

  She could lie and say she felt nothing. But it wouldn’t do any good. And Allegra wasn’t a liar. “I desire you,” she replied in a thick whisper. “More than I can bear sometimes.”

  His large hand gripped the balcony railing so hard she worried he’d try to tear a chunk of the stone away.

  “And am I wrong in believin’ lust isnae the only thing ye feel for me?”

  She took a ragged breath and met his glittering gaze. Her insides melted as the truth came out on a long exhale. “No. You’re right about that as well.”

  The growl that rumbled in his chest made her belly tingle and twist in a deliciously wrenching way. He took a step toward her. “Then help me understand, lass.”

  Allegra searched his handsome face, shadowed with concern and question.

  She had left New York almost a year ago with the intention of putting the incident with Lucas completely behind her. Her disastrous mistake in trusting him had destroyed her reputation, her dream of working at her father’s firm, and, worst of all, her faith in her father’s esteem and fair judgement. But she’d never felt like she was running away.

  From the day she’d withdrawn the money her mother had left her and loaded herself on a ship sailing to Europe, she’d felt like she was running toward something. She was going to travel and explore and live on her terms. Someday, she’d rebuild her portfolio and she’d earn a position at one of the great architecture firms of Europe. And if they wouldn’t have her, she’d start her own firm.

  She’d never doubted any of it.

  And then she’d met Macrae and somehow, despite everything, Allegra discovered she had not left the experience with Lucas as far behind as she’d thought. The specter of his deceitful manipulations and her father’s lack of belief in her still burned like an unhealed wound.