Chloe Babineaux Private Investigator

by Lisa Clancey

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  I showed my ID to the cop at the front desk who knew me, but it was required and then walked up to the detective’s room. It was a large room with several desks sitting back to back with computers on each one. A large window on the back wall let light in, but it didn’t have much of a view unless you like looking at parking lots. Cody and Rick were at their respective desks across the room pounding on their computers talking to each other and making eye contact now and then. Behind them was Camilla Cooper, a fantastic cop with three children and a humdinger of a husband. He was a firefighter. How they managed to raise three children with their hours was beyond me, but it worked for them. Her hair was short, and corn rolled, and I liked her a lot. Her smile was devious and could break even the most hardened low life. A few of the other desks were being used by uniformed police officers.

  I had stood there looking around for a minute admiring all the camaraderie when someone came up from behind and goosed me. I flinched, smiled and said, “Hey, Rosy.” Leonard Rosenthal had thinning hair, was overweight, average height, very easy going and very married. His complexion was dark and looked mean as hell unless you knew him and then you knew he could be mean as hell.

  “Damn, girl. Did you have a party last night? Why didn’t you invite me? I heard you had one hell of blast yesterday,” he said grinning.

  “You weren’t at the party? Then who was that fine man in my apartment last night?”

  Before he could answer, his partner, Richard Reed, pushed by us and sneered. “Damn, Chloe did you sleep in the bottle last night?” He was a man that was hot and knew it: tall, blond, blue eyes, a perfect nose and a very nice body. The kind of man who thought all women would be doing themselves a favor by sleeping with him. I, of course, was doing all mankind a favor by not sleeping with him. Okay, not mankind, more like womankind. Someone had to stand up to the obnoxious buffoon. I had told Camilla if I ever lowered my standards and slept with him to check and make sure I didn’t get hit on the head and had amnesia.

  I cocked my head, narrowed my eyes and said, “And you wonder why you can’t keep a woman longer than two and a half weeks. Words like that are enough to melt any woman’s, heart.”

  As I was walking to Cody’s desk, Richard called to me from his desk, “You have a heart?”

  I gave Cody a hug and glanced at Rick and saw him clench his teeth. Cody had shaken his head at him so he wouldn’t answer Dick Weed. He and I had an ongoing dislike relationship. I pulled a chair next to Cody’s desk and propped my feet on Rick’s and said to the aversion across the room, “You know one of these days I’m gonna be in here when Lieutenant Anders yells from his office, ‘Dick Weed! In my office.’ And you’re gonna run across the room to his office.” I wiggled two fingers portraying him running across the room.

  There were only the five detectives in the squad room at that time, everyone else was in the field, but the four that were there lost it. Cody and Camilla were wiping tears from their eyes while Rick and Rosy were just about falling out of their chairs. The uniformed officers in the room were laughing but were trying their career best to hide it. I had no career there, so I grinned broadly. I glanced behind me to check if Lt. Anders was in his office and sure enough he was. He had his back to us with hands on his desk, but his shoulders were shaking, so I knew he was laughing too.

  As soon as Cody caught his breath, he said to Rick, “That’s why I didn’t want you to say anything. Whenever they’re in the same vicinity, Reed dishes and Chloe clobbers.”

  When Rosy was able to breathe again, he said, “Chloe…” He shook his head and started laughing again.

  “Thanks a lot, partner. I see you have my back.” Reed glared at Rosy. “Chloe honey,” he said slanting a glance to me, “you know you want me. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t call me Dick all the time. That’s all you ever think about. Me and you.” He smirked.

  I rolled my eyes and said, “Hey Camilla, let me tell you about my dream last night, well this morning just before waking up.” Camilla turned her chair around, so she was sitting next to Rick, smiled and mumbled, “This’ll be good.”

  “I woke up and sat up fast. My heart was racing, beating out of my chest,” I said with my hand on my chest. “I was shaking and sweating profusely; I didn’t know where I was. I was so afraid. I started hyperventilating; I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs. After a few seconds, I was fully awake, and I realized.” I paused dramatically, grinned and said, “The man in my bed wasn’t Dick Weed, it was just a nightmare.”

  Rick grinned broadly, maybe too broadly. Camilla and Rosy said at the same time, “Harsh, Chloe, harsh.” I glanced at Cody; he was smiling but with an odd look on his face. I knew he was thinking, ‘Who the hell was in your bed?’

  Dick Weed verbalized the question, “Who was in your bed last night? You said the man in your bed wasn’t me. So who was it? Did you have a sleepover last night?” he sneered.

  “It’s obvious I got trashed last night, and I never drink alone. But unlike you, Dick Weed, I don’t kiss and tell. You might want to learn how to do that. You might get a lot more respect from women and keep them a whole month.” A woman officer from another desk snorted. She must have had firsthand experience with Dick’s mouth. I mean his bragging.

  Cody was still looking at me with narrowed eyes while Rick was still grinning. Camilla turned around and got back to work, and I shook my head and said, “I don’t have time for this. I have to get back to my office for lunch. My friends are eating with us today.” I glanced at Rick but said to Cody, “Why don’t ya’ll come by later, and we can talk.”

  “Yeah, we might do that,” Cody said nodding. “I have to talk to you about what happened in Gardener this morning, and we have a meeting in a few minutes.”

  I told them goodbye, and I’d see them later, and left. That didn’t accomplish anything, but I did feel a whole lot better. Taking out frustration on Dick Weed was just what I needed. Seeing Rick grin at me when I talked about having a man in my bed didn’t hurt either. Maybe he would bring pizza tonight. I guess Cody didn’t scare him off enlightening him on some of my escapades. It had to be only some of them because not even Cody knew about all of them.