by Wood, Lauren
Considering the oatmeal this morning, the meatloaf was a vast improvement.
“See Glenn, I told you that I would get the hang of this.”
“Yes, you did.”
Chapter 10
Liz
Living with a man, wasn’t something that I was quite ready for in my life. Waking up next to one that had stayed over because he was too drunk, was one thing. Staying with Glenn was like something else altogether. He was always there to help, and it was nice, considering Glenn knew more about the baby then I did, but there was this familiarity that came with living under the same roof and to me, that was the hardest part. While I was trying to think of everything else, I couldn’t think straight at all when he was walking around in boxers without a shirt on.
Then I caught him coming out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around his amazing body. Glenn was quite a sight and though the snarky comments was toned down, there was still a cocky swagger that couldn’t be dimmed. Even when he was covered in spit-up, somehow, he knew how to be sexy as hell.
Seeing his hard body covered in sweat and glistening like he was a god was too much, and my mind was back to mush.
“You alright Liz?”
I would have been alright, and I never would have said a word, but when he wanted to throw it in my face and that was just too much for me.
“No Glenn, I don’t think that I am.”
He looked concerned and started to walk towards me. My eyes were on the hard swinging going on between his legs. My mouth was dry, and there was nothing that I could do about it. He didn’t seem to get how nervous he made me. I can’t say that I blame him really. It wasn’t his fault. It was new emotions because of everything going on. That’s all. We were thrown into a situation together and feelings were bound to result.
“So, what is the problem?”
He really didn’t get it.
“You really don’t know? How about the fact that you’re running around like that?”
I couldn’t take my eyes off of him and that made me feel like even worse. I should be able to hold it together, but I couldn’t.
“Oh really? Well what do you think it does to me, when you’re standing in the kitchen when I come home, in practically see-through silk?”
I hadn’t really thought about it. My nightgown was comfortable and since I looked a mess, I hadn’t really thought about him looking at me. Now I could see hunger in his eyes, and it was disconcerting to say the least. I had to look away. His attention to me was too much.
“It was satin, and I didn’t think that it was see-through.”
“I can see your nipples and the curve of your ass pretty damn clear.”
“Well, now you are showing.”
He looked down and smiled, covering himself. “Sometimes it has a mind of its own. You can’t blame me. You are one hot piece Liz, always have been.”
I was in this moment with him and then he said something like that. What was I supposed to say now? The ego side of Glenn was coming out. He had that easy smile that I’d seen him take with many women in the past and I couldn’t believe that he would want to go there. He was reading the situation wrong.
“I will make sure to cover up better, if you will try to do the same.”
I knew that it wasn’t going to help me now, but maybe it would save me from moments like this in the future.
“Deal, we should both cover up a little bit better.”
“You say that, and you know that summer is right around the corner.”
He had this look on his face and it was so smug that I wanted to hit him. I don’t know what he was thinking about, but I would have taken a guess.
“I am sure that we’ll be able to manage. I am getting more sleep now, so I guess I should dress more. I never understood moms not getting ready for the day, but I can see why now. I don’t have time and during what time I do have; all I want to do is sleep.”
“Well, there is also the funeral tomorrow. Is there anything that I can do?”
“No Glenn, I think I got it all under control. My parents helped with a lot of it. They always swoop in and take over. So, I let them, because I figured that they have more experience and we have Stephen. I never realized how much work babies were. You would think that if other people knew about it, they might rethink it.”
“Are you rethinking it?”
“No, not at all.” I sighed out loud. “It is just a lot of work. I don’t think I have ever been this tired in my whole life.”
“I would agree, and I thought I knew long hours. But I know that it’s what your brother wanted, so I don’t mind. It is calming, if that makes sense.”
“Calming?”
“Yea, I don’t know. My mind is more focused now. Less worries. It sounds weird, but I know this is what I’m supposed to be doing, and who I am supposed to be doing it with. I’m sorry this happened, but there really is nowhere else I would rather be.”
“Come on Glenn. That’s sweet and all, but I’m sure that you would rather be out with one of your many girlfriends. I’ve seen them coming and going when you were staying here with Mario.”
“Yeah, I know. But it is never as good as you want it to be. Never really lasts. I don’t know. Things change.”
I agreed, but I wasn’t able to put it into words like that. He had time at work to think about all of it, but I did not. All I had to worry about was the baby. Stephen kept me busy, so I wasn’t thinking about my brother and Latica, but there was an extra complication when it came to Glenn. Now he was saying things that were going to make living with him even more difficult.
“Besides Liz, what about you? I don’t think that you are so innocent. I have seen guys over at your place, in the morning.”
“That was just one of Mario’s friends that had too much to drink. He needed a place to stay.”
“What about the dark-skinned guy I saw last week?”
I don’t know if I should have been feeling weird about the fact that he noticed so much.
“John is gay, so I don’t think you’re going to win this.”
“So, you’re telling me that you don’t date, anyone?”
“No, I can’t say that I have in a long while. I just wanted to focus on my art. Guys make everything harder than it has to be and I have a reason to believe that you’re no different.”
“I’m shocked you would think that.”
“Well you can be shocked all you want, but I know that you’re bad news Glenn. You always have been.”
“So, that’s why you messed with my head?”
I giggled, because I couldn’t help it, but his scowl made me try. “I was young Glenn and you noticed. You were my brother’s friend and I had a big crush on you. You wouldn’t really give me the time of day. It made me a little angry, so I wanted you to notice me.”
“Oh, I did.”
I remembered the night well and smiled. “Yeah, I know you did. But it wouldn’t have lasted long. You were already a player back then. You wouldn’t have been interested very long, so that was as far as it went. I guess noticing me wasn’t enough, I wanted you to really see me.”
“I see you now Liz.” He took a step closer and I sucked in a ragged breath.
His words made me wonder if that was true or not. I certainly wanted to believe that it was true. All I could think about, was how badly I wanted things to have been different. But not like this.
Chapter 11
Glenn
I don’t know when it happened, but I fell for Liz. She was staring back with those bright blue eyes of hers, her lips quivering a little bit. She wouldn’t even look at me for a time and I had no idea why not. I wished I knew what was going on in her mind, it would have made things easier.
“I never pursued you, because I thought you were playing games.”
“Even if I wasn’t, Mario was around and there was no way that he was going to let you date his little sister. You know how protective he was of me.”
“I know, very
well. He caught me looking once and told me that we were friends, but he would kill over you.”
She smiled, “Yeah, that sounds like Mario.”
There was tension between us, more specifically identified, but at the end of the day, I was still trying to figure out my next step. Tomorrow was the funeral. We couldn’t be doing this, and I had to say as much to her. “Why don’t we finish off this funeral tomorrow, and then we can figure out how to move forward? It’s only been a week.”
“Seems so much longer than that.”
I had to agree. It felt like a day ago I saw him, but then at the same time, it felt like I hadn’t seen my best friend in years. Time had a funny way of changing, depending on the perspective.
“I know. Let’s get through tomorrow and then we can figure out what comes next.”
She agreed, but for a moment, I thought that she was going to kiss me. I leaned down to kiss her instead and she kissed me back, but Liz hadn’t seen it coming. To be truthful, neither had I. One thing that I knew for certain, I wanted her as badly now, as I ever did. But it wasn’t the right time. I had to wait.
The funeral was a big affair. Latica may have been an orphan, but she had touched many people in her life, and so many of them came to say goodbye. Mario was well-liked and loved by all too and it was a full house.
All of the attention was being heaped on Liz. I knew that part of it was because she had Stephen, so I decided to take him for a little while. I knew that there was nothing I could do about most of the attention going her way, but having the baby did pull some people my way.
“It’s good to see you again Glenn. I am sorry that it happened this way. I have known Latica for years and I am glad to see that Stephen looks well. Is Liz taking care of him? I knew that she would.”
“Yes, we’re both staying at their old house, trying to figure this out.”
“Both of you?”
I looked at Amber and though we’d known each other for a while, I also knew that she was a bit nosy. “Yes, both of us. We are the godparents, and this is what we said we would do.”
Amber blushed. “Right, that is good to hear. Latica was very adamant about having them. I sometimes wonder if she knew something that no one else did.”
I had thought the same myself, but this wasn’t the time and if it was, I wasn’t ready to have those conversations yet. It was still too soon.
“Well, no matter what, she is lucky to have picked you. I know most of us didn’t think that you would stick around, but here you are.”
It was strange to think people were already talking about us. It hadn’t happened but a few days ago, the wreck that changed everything, but apparently news travels very fast.
“Well, I made a commitment to my best friend, no one could keep me away.”
Amber smiled and I tried not to be offended. Was my character so shaky in other’s eyes, that I would just walk away from such a thing, from Stephen? That had me wondering if it was brought on by my own actions and if I deserved it.
My mind went back to what Liz had told me before. She had said that she did feel something but knew that I wouldn’t be good for the long haul, thus why she had never pursued us. Was I really that bad?
I knew the answer to that, before the question was posed. I knew what I was, and I was honestly ashamed that it was my own actions that made people think that of me. I should have known that there was a reason why she had always been so hot and cold with me.
But I shouldn’t even be thinking about any of it. I was holding the baby, at my best friend’s funeral. Guilt washed over me, when I realized that I was the cause of the tension between us. We were going to have to work it out, because I was here for the long haul and I needed Liz to believe it. Then maybe things could change.
“Oh, what a beautiful baby boy. He looks just like the two of them…”
A woman to my left started crying and I tried to comfort her. I didn’t even know who she was, but it was a distraction, a good one and I was able to let her get it out, while I tried to pull my head together as well.
“What a day.”
“Yea, it was a bit much.”
“I can’t believe how many people showed up. I had mom do all of the calling, she probably hired it out, but she somehow found his girlfriend from middle school. This was crazy.”
We were sitting down for a drink; the baby was asleep after all of the attention from the funeral and we were both beat. I had taken the day and night off, so that I could stay with Liz and I figured it was a good time to clear the air.
“I want to talk about what we were discussing yesterday.”
She smiled and then looked nervous. “What did we talk about yesterday?”
Liz was playing coy and I took a page out of her book. It was obvious that she didn’t want to talk about it, though I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I wanted to get right to it, but this wasn’t the time. I was rushing. I had to slow down, even if it was incredibly hard to do it.
“You know, just about the old days.”
“I do remember them well. It’s weird staying in this house, I can still feel Mario. Can you?”
The conversation was quickly so far away from where I wanted it, but there was nothing that I could do about it. I had to let it play out. I had to pull back, even though every part of me was ready to see what would happen next. There was a little guilt, enough to hold me back, but I don’t know if that was going to work or not. How long, could we live together and not talk about the elephant in the room?
“I talked to Amber today; do you know her?”
“I think so. She was in the same class as you and Mario, wasn’t she?”
I agreed. “She was rather surprised that we were staying here together.”
“I bet. She always had something to say.”
“I think she was surprised that I stayed.”
“Well, you’ve been great. She must not know you very well.”
Her comment made me smile. There was still a part of me that wanted to push past the pleasantries. There was a lot more that we could speak about, but I was trying to keep it together. The look in her eyes, the vulnerability on her face. She made me want to keep her safe and it was all I could do. I was going to have to hold off on the rest of it.
“Why don’t we just get to bed? The baby will be up soon.”
She agreed, but there was some hesitation. I don’t know what it was about, but I didn’t want to ask. If I did, then I was going to get into territory that I was telling myself I wouldn’t. There was just a part of me that was finding it hard to wait. How long was the appropriate time for something like that? When was it going to be right, because I don’t know how much longer I was going to be able to wait?
Chapter 12
Liz
I don’t know why tonight was the hardest one yet. Even though I knew Glenn was right down the hall, I couldn’t help feeling like I was alone. I wanted to be with him, next to him, so that I would know that everything was going to be okay. He had a way of making sure that I felt that way and I needed it now more than ever before.
After staring at the blackness above me for a very long time, I decided that I needed to be near him. I knew that it was going to make things even stranger. I had to take the chance, because my thoughts weren’t ones that I push away. I needed some distraction, but I knew that it would come at a price. Most likely it would make things even more difficult between us.
That didn’t stop me from moving forward though. It didn’t stop me from knocking on his door softly, before realizing that he wasn’t going to answer. So then, I moved into the room, hoping he would be awake or maybe hoping he would be asleep. Then I could just slip in next to him and go to sleep, without him ever knowing about it.
Unfortunately for me, he was asleep, but he was on top of the covers and wearing absolutely nothing at all. My face was burning, and I should have looked away, but it was all right there in front of me and I couldn’t help but look. It was all I coul
d do, see the hard body a few feet away. Sliding into bed with him, would have been a very bad idea. That was clear by looking at him. I knew that I shouldn’t look. I should get out of the room. Before I was caught. But I didn’t want to pull my eyes away, I am not sure if I would be able to or not.
I finally found the ability to turn away and I was going to leave. I don’t know how I was even able to walk currently. My legs felt like rubber and they didn’t want to work.
“Liz?”
My heart stopped and I froze. I don’t know why, but I was convinced for a moment that if I didn’t move and I didn’t say a word, then somehow, he wouldn’t see me. I heard a rustling behind me, and I hoped that it was Glenn covering up.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were sleeping. And then I saw you… I was just leaving.”
I still hadn’t turned around, afraid of what I would see and then what I would feel. I didn’t want him to see me like this. My hands were shaking, my voice was quavering, I was a mess.
“Did you need something?”
“I um…I just couldn’t sleep. I wanted to see if I could lay with you.”
“You can. You’re more than welcome to.”
There was no way that I was going towards his bed. There was no way that I was turning around. I know that I would see more than I was supposed to, and my senses couldn’t handle it. It was just that simple.
“No, it’s fine. I am sorry to have bothered you Glenn. I don’t know what I was thinking…”
I wasn’t thinking and now I was lost. My head was full of so many things that I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about. This wasn’t how I wanted this to go. I was trying to leave with whatever pride I had left, and it wasn’t much.
“Come on Liz. It’s fine. What’s the matter?”