by Wood, Lauren
“No, I need to get home. I promised Liz that I would be there to take Stephen for a while. She has work to get done as well.”
“What does she do?”
For a moment, I almost felt embarrassed to say anything. It wasn’t important work, not like ours. It was important to her, but the world would be fine, without another painting in it.
“An artist.”
“Ah.”
That was all I had to say. He didn’t ask any more questions, because he wasn’t interested. To a guy like Benny, anything that wasn’t saving lives, was a waste of time. I felt that was to some extent as well. I didn’t get why she was an artist and what benefit it had to the world, but I know that she came back looking more relaxed. She needed that in her life right now. It was up to her, how long that was going to take. Her job right now was taking care of the baby anyways. I made more than enough for all of us.
I was thinking about them as my own family already. It was such a strange realization.
“You seem distracted. Am I to believe that it is because of this godmother?”
Straight and to the point. Benny never let me down.
“Yes, I would certainly say that it would be a correct assumption.”
“Then I will assume away.”
“You do that Benny. Let me know how Julie is.”
“Julie?”
“The patient you had me talk to five minutes ago?”
“Right, semi-frontal.”
I just sighed and waved to him as I went back into my office. Sometimes he really was hopeless.
Chapter 17
Liz
“Well you look like you’re in a good mood.”
I was bent over, picking up some little cereals that the baby had thrown. I looked up to see the smile on Glenn’s face. He looked happy. When I was finished and I stood up again, the expression and demeanor of the man had changed. He was no longer looking so happy. His appetite was back, and I was nervous how he was looking at me.
“What, I can’t wear shorts now either?”
“They are pretty short Liz. I can see a lot of your leg and the rest of you.”
“You’re a mess. I have to be able to wear clothes Glenn, no matter how much they bother you.”
“You can just say to hell with all of them if you wanted to. I wouldn’t say a word.”
“I bet. So, what has you so happy?”
“I was going to tell you over dinner, but I want to tell you now. I want to show you now.”
“Show me?”
I had no idea what he had going on. He was excited about something, but with him, there was really no telling. As much as I wanted him to be happy, it made me nervous as well for some reason. There was no telling what was behind that smile of his.
“Yeah, let’s get Stephen ready and go for a little walk.”
His happiness was hard to ignore. His smile was crossing from one side of his face to another. What made a man like Glenn smile like that?
We got the baby ready and then went for a walk with the stroller. I had no idea what he was going to show me. I know that Glenn had something going on that he was on the phone a lot, but I figured that it just had something to do with his job. He was always consulting to other doctors and sometimes that meant that he would get files and scans sent to him in the middle of the night and he would have to give his opinion for a surgery that was in progress sometimes.
“So, what is the big surprise?”
We had gone about a block and we went down another block before we stopped in front of a house. It had a sold sign on it, and I had a feeling that I knew what was going on. I couldn’t believe it, but then again, I could. This was Glenn we were talking about after all.
“Do you like it?”
“You bought this house, didn’t you?”
“Yes, I did. I thought that it would be nice to have a place that we could all fit. You have room for a studio, so you can paint whenever you want to. The upstairs is perfect for it, great light and I had them put in a sky light. I remember you saying once that you loved all of the light that came from them.”
I was speechless. I didn’t know what I was supposed to say to this. He had bought a house, a whole house.
“I can’t believe that you bought a house for us Glenn. I thought we were doing okay over at Mario’s.”
“We are, it’s just, I thought that it would be better if we could all do what we needed under the same roof.”
I wondered if it had something to do with the guys that had been over. Was this jealousy or was it a sweet gesture? I was still stunned. How was I supposed to react to all of this?
“I thought you would be happy.”
“I am, really. It’s a lot to take all of a sudden Glenn. I mean, we’re together because of…”
“You don’t have to say it. We know why we’re together, but that doesn’t matter now. What matters is that we’re together and there isn’t anything I would rather do, then make sure that you’re happy. I want you to do what you love and still be here for Stephen.”
“I know. This is really sweet. Let’s go take a look at what you bought. I mean, but when most people say they have a surprise, it’s usually not a half a million-dollar house.”
“It wasn’t that good of a price, not in this market. But it will be perfect for us, just wait and see.”
I smiled back at him and tried to be as excited as he was. This was just a lot and before I could really think about it, I knew that I was going to have to say something. This was going too far. I had let it go too far that one time and now I think we were both confused.
The house was beautiful, and I had to give it to Glenn, he certainly knew what I wanted. He’d never asked, but I was starting to realize that he listened. We’d been living together over a month now and things had really gone to new heights between us.
We hadn’t gotten together sexually again, but we’d kissed a few times. He said that he didn’t mind waiting, but it was hard not to see the need in his eyes and the perpetual hard-on that he sported. What I found even more disconcerting, was the images that flashed in my head every time. I of course, knew what was going on underneath his clothes. I knew what he looked like when he was hard and stroking himself. I would remember how badly I wanted to climb on top of him and it would make me throb.
The house seemed to make things even worse. When we moved in, the set-up of the house meant that we were right next door to each other, and the shower was next to mine. That meant that I heard him in both rooms, and I’d learned to hear the muffled gasps for what they were. He would groan low in his throat when he was completed, and it would make me want to go to him.
Fear kept me away. Before, I hadn’t really wanted to do anything. I was just learning my body’s powers when I’d messed with Glenn before. Things were different now. There was no more playing around with Glenn, because I was too affected by him now. Touching myself in front of him, had changed me in one way or another. It was all I could think about and that wasn’t good for my mental state.
This night was going to be no different. The baby was down for the night and since he was home, we would watch a movie or something on the couch. The couch that made it all come back to me. We would sit close, but not touch. It was all just a new form of torture.
“Are we watching Start-Go?”
“Sure.”
He was looking damn good and I was already throbbing. This was going to be a long night. It was always a long night, when I kept pretending that I didn’t need Glenn. I needed him, even if I didn’t want to admit it to myself.
Chapter 18
Glenn
Something was different, but I didn’t know what it was. Liz was being quiet, something she wasn’t known for. Her mouth was almost always going and today she was silent. I wanted to tell her that it was all going to be okay, but there was something playing on her head today. It was best to get it out of the way and out in the open. I’d learned that much from living with her.
&n
bsp; “Is there something on your mind Liz?”
She didn’t answer me right away, but I saw her eyes flit over to my lap. I didn’t have to look down, to know that I was going to be hard. I could feel it of course, but also, I had been hard for some time because of her. I had been in dire need of what she could give me. I wanted to believe that everything was going to work out between us, but it might not. Being in this state all of the time, couldn’t be easy for her. It sure the hell wasn’t easy for me.
“No, not really. It’s just been a long day. How was your day?”
She was reflecting and I wasn’t going to let her do it today.
“Work was alright. I was happy to get home to you and Stephen.”
That got a smile and I hoped that I wasn’t reading into things that I wasn’t allowed to. I wanted to say more, but I needed to go slow.
“We are always happy to see you home.”
“How are you liking the house and the studio?”
“It’s great. I think you know me too well sometimes. I don’t think I would have been able to come out with something better than that. It’s like a dream.”
Now, I was the one sidetracked because there was such pleasure and passion in her eyes. It wasn’t for me unfortunately, but she loved her art. It brought out another side of Liz, one that I was always happy to be privy of. I don’t think that there was one thing in this world, that made me as happy as she was, when it came time to talk about painting.
“You’ll have to show me what you’re working on soon. I bet it will be good.”
“I will show you when I have one done. I really don’t like to show them off when they are in progress.”
I agreed. Hell, for her, I would have agreed to about anything.
“So, is there anything else you want to talk about?”
“No, why?”
“I don’t know. You just don’t seem like yourself today Liz.”
She smiled and agreed. “I don’t think I have been myself in a while.”
“No, I mean, like different than normal.”
I knew that she was holding something back. Liz wasn’t very good at it and she would look like she was going to explode if she didn’t get it out. I don’t know what it was that she was trying to get out of her, but I knew that it was something.
“It’s better if we can talk about these things. I want this to work.”
“Not everything can be talked about.”
“I am a doctor. Come on, of course we can talk about anything. I am sure that I have heard it all before.”
“It’s not like that at all.”
“Then what is it?”
She was holding it in, but it was building up. I just had to be patient. I had lived with her long enough, to know that I could get it out of her, if I just gave her some time. I was going to give her all that she need, even if it hurt.
“There is a lot of tension between us right now Glenn, that’s all.”
“Tension? What do you mean?”
Liz was exasperated and asked me if I was just being thick.
“No, what do you mean?”
“I mean that there is a lot of sexual tension in this house. You are walking around hard half of the time. What do you want me to say?”
I smiled at her, because honestly, there was nothing better that she could say. I was hard all of the time and if I was going to have to survive blue balls for the foreseeable future, it was good to know that she noticed. She might as well, since it’s because of her anyways.
“I can always take care of that for you, if you want me to.”
Liz was not too enthused with the idea of that, but I think a part of her was. Maybe it was the darker side, but I would play to any side that got me the girl.
“The thing is, that I do want you. The things that you did to me, keep me up at night Glenn, but I guess you already know that. That’s why your exes are crazy. I get it now.”
“Things are different between us Liz. you’re not just some girl.”
“What am I to you then?”
If it was any other woman, I wouldn’t want to have this conversation with her. It wasn’t usually a woman that needed to be convinced. Women liked men with money. I was a doctor with one, so no, wasn’t something I heard often. She was telling me no, but in a whole new way. And then asking me a question that usually signified it was time for me to leave a situation.
“You’re a lot of things to me. You have to know that. You’re Stephen’s godmother, we live together.”
She shook her head a sighed. “That’s why we can’t be together. You’re thinking about our circumstance. That will change and I can’t make decisions based on something that is going to change so quickly.”
“How I feel about you isn’t going to change, and these circumstances aren’t going to change. We’re together now.”
“Everything you say is sweet and you’ve stuck by me and your promise to Mario, far more than anyone would have expected you to, but are you really going to sacrifice the next eighteen years to do it?”
“Being with you, certainly isn’t a sacrifice. I thought you would know that by now.”
“How would I know that?”
She was frustrating to a fault and I don’t even think that she realized she was doing it. Liz was thinking about things all wrong and she was right, I’d never told her about the slow change that had been taking over me since we were put in this situation.
“Because I love you Liz. I thought that was obvious, but I guess I was wrong.”
“You love me?”
“Why do you look so surprised? Did you really not know?”
Liz didn’t and I was a bit shocked. I had showed her in every way, but the words had failed me. Now I could see that the words did in fact matter. I knew that they had, but it was always so complicated. I’d never said such things to a woman before and it was alien to my tongue to say it.
“No, I guess I didn’t. I hoped that you cared about me, but I didn’t know.”
“Do you feel the same way?”
Liz looked away for a moment and I knew that there was something on her mind. Now I was nervous that I had read it all wrong. What if she didn’t feel the same way about me, as I did about her? It seemed impossible, but I knew that there was always a chance.
“Yes, I think I have loved you for a long time Glenn, and the way you have helped me and been with me, I don’t think I could ever have done it without you. You have to know how I feel. The things we’ve done together…”
Her voice trailed off and she got the prettiest blush on her face. To me, that was just a snack in the grand scheme of things. It was almost PG-13 as far as I could tell, but to Liz, it had meant something much more. I’d known it, before I’d touched her, or she had talked about her experience.
“Then what makes you so nervous around me?”
“Come on Glenn, we both know how you are. You are used to a different woman every night and I’ve never done anything like that. I know that you want more, but I don’t think I can give you what you need. I am not a girl that knows how to please a man.”
“That’s where you’re wrong Liz. You have pleased me and not even touched me. I think you have no idea the power that you have Liz.”
“I want to believe you, but you aren’t the one that’s trembling.”
“I am Liz, it’s just you can’t see it. I want to touch you so bad that my hands shake. When I’m around you, my mind doesn’t work right. I forget what I’m doing. You have so much control over me, and you don’t even know it.”
Chapter 19
Liz
“I don’t feel like I have much control at all. Every time I am around you, I can’t think straight and all I can think about is last time we were together.”
He grinned and I knew where his mind was. It was always the way Glenn was. He had a moment where he wasn’t cocksure, but now that moment was gone, and I was left still shaking. I don’t know if what he said was true, but it certainly felt
like he was messing with my head.
“Maybe because we didn’t finish what we started. I know that you’ve waited a while, but that doesn’t mean that we have to go there. I want to touch you, please you. It doesn’t have to be more than that.”
He was playing these deal games again and I couldn’t do it. I knew what happened if he got his hands on me, I would want to take it further. Last time, it had taken everything inside of me, to ignore the tiny voice inside of my head that was telling to go for it. I knew it was wrong, but I wanted to so bad. I didn’t want to wait. I wanted him right now, but in that situation, when he pushed me to the limits, I wasn’t going to be able to deny him and that scared me.
“And that’s it? You don’t want anything out of it?”
“I get so much more from your pleasure, then I do my own. Being with you in that way, able to touch you, I am sure that I would be quite pleased by it.”
He was giving me a million reasons why we should move forward, while my mind was trying to come up with one good reason not to. All I had, was that I had never done it before. I had waited all this time for a reason. Almost twenty-three years I had waited for the right man. It wasn’t like I hadn’t been asked, many times, but I’d always said no without even thinking about it. I realized now; it was because I didn’t want to. Now I wanted to, and I was trying to think of a reason to say no.
“I’m afraid Glenn. That’s all.”
“You already know what is going to happen. I am not going to hurt you and I would never force you to do anything that you didn’t want to do. No pushing. I wouldn’t even make love to you if you begged.”
That got him a look, but he was serious and swore anyways.
“So, you are telling me that I could beg you for it and you would deny me?”
“It will kill me Liz, know that, but no, I will not go any further, even if you beg for it.”
A couple of months ago, I wouldn’t had been able to imagine it, but now I could. If I let him get a hold of me, I had a feeling I was going to be begging for it soon enough.