by Ella Miles
I fall to my knees, wishing the skies would open up. I wish rain, lightning, thunder would descend on me and hide my emotions. But of course, mother nature doesn’t respond.
I slam my fist into the pile of dirt.
“How could you?
“How could you lie to me?
“How could you make me fall in love with you?”
Each comes out louder than the previous, until…
“How could you…how could you leave me?” explodes from my chest as tears flow and flow. Anger and heartbreak swirl becoming one until I won’t be able to separate them.
I feel something wet on my forehead.
I look up.
Rain.
I stayed so long that I finally got my wish.
Only after the rain has washed away any remnants of my grief do I finally get up, walk alone back to the car, and drive it back to the cabin.
My mind is blank as I walk up the gravel drive toward the front door, the rain still falling heavily from the sky. I welcome every drop on my face.
I stumble to a stop when I see her standing in the grass in the backyard; her hands spread wide as the rain pelts her face.
I narrow my eyes as I stare and find myself walking toward her. I tell myself it’s just to see what crazy thing she’s doing now—probably trying to signal to her father as one of his guys waits in the lake.
But as I near her, I realize she’s doing the same thing I was at Odette’s grave—mourning.
Slowly, she turns, and I see her face. She studies mine as I study hers.
I realize something—not even the rain can hide her grief. Which means it can’t hide mine.
I can still see her puffy, red eyes. Her swollen face. Her exhausted lips. Weak and tired body. She can’t hide any of it.
Her eyes roam over my body, and I know she sees the same on me.
I don’t know what or who she’s grieving.
She a narcissistic princess who only cares about herself.
She doesn’t get to choose her husband.
Guilt for causing the death of an innocent woman.
Or loss for someone she cared about?
None of it matters.
What matters is I need the pain to stop in order to complete my mission, to carry out retribution.
I look her dead in the eye and say, “Want to earn my hero services, Princess?”
11
Beckett
Ri’s anger flares at my words.
I know the feeling, Sweetheart. Everything she says stirs dark thoughts in my mind.
“You want me to trust you? Here’s your chance. You do something for me; I’ll play hero for you the next time you need it. Although, based on your last performance, it seems you can easily save yourself, Princess.”
No matter what you do, Princess, I still won’t trust you. I can see the agony of loss all over your face, the secrets you’re hiding.
Her lips move like she wants to speak, and then she tucks her lips in, frowning.
“Say it, whatever’s on your mind. It’s not like we are standing out here in the pouring rain or anything.”
She folds her arms as her anger intensifies. “No one said you had to join me. And you really don’t want to hear what I have to say.”
“I don’t, but if you don’t say it, you’ll stew and use it against me later.”
“I just—I just wanted you to know I understand how hard today was for you. I wish I could say it gets easier from here. It doesn’t. Grief is a strange thing—some moments you think you’ve moved past it and then a song, a smell, a road you drive down, anything will spark a memory, and it can overpower you once again.
“And then, one time out of a hundred, you finally get that memory that doesn’t spark unbearable grief. It could be the smallest thing, an inside joke you shared or how your toes curl when you kiss her, or how it felt to have your arms wrapped around her, and that memory is going to make you feel alive like you haven’t in days, weeks, months. It will remind you that having her, however brief, was worth all the heart-wrecking pain. It will still hurt that she’s gone, but you’ll remember why you have to keep living—keep chasing those little moments.”
She looks down, water dripping from her lashes. She’s still wearing the same clothes from before—a sparkly tank and black pants, but she’s barefoot now. Her clothes are stuck to her body from standing in the rain for so long; I’m sure I could see her nipples poking through her shirt if it wasn’t for the rain.
She’s vulnerable in this moment, sharing a part of her truth, that she’s been through this too. And while I appreciate it, all I want to do is take advantage of her vulnerability. I can’t face my own.
“Do we have a deal or not?” I ask, ignoring the fact that she just poured her heart out to me.
She runs her hand through her hair, flipping it back like that’s going to keep the rain from her face.
“Deal.” She licks her lips, more than ready ever for a fight. That’s what this deal we have is—a fight, a power struggle, our own miniature battle to see who is better at manipulating whom.
She’s definitely trying to manipulate me as much as I am her. I need to learn why. It has to be because of the Retribution Kings, which means I need to learn more about who they are and what they do. What they protect. What their secrets are. What she could want to learn.
I hear gravel crunching behind us; the guys are back. I don’t know if she notices; the rain is still coming down hard enough that she might not yet.
I want to embarrass her.
I want the thrill of hurting her and seeing her desperation to do whatever I want. I wasn’t this way with Odette. I wasn’t a controlling monster, but Ri brings out the worst of me.
“Take off your shirt.”
“Wh—”
“Did I ask you to talk back? If you want me to play hero for you, then you do this without question.”
“I thought you liked my talking back.”
My nostrils flare. She’s right; I do like it. “Talk back and see how much worse this gets for you.”
The SUV doors slam shut, and I know she heard them. I don’t know if they’ll walk back here to find us or head into the house.
“Do your worst, Hero.” And then she removes her shirt in one fluid movement, like she’s done this a hundred times in front of me.
Fuck me.
No, there will be no fucking. I just lost my wife.
Your lying wife, who didn’t even care about you. She was just doing what her father told her.
Even the rain can’t hide how beautiful her naked chest is. Soft mounds rise on her chest with each heavy breath. Scars that some might see as ugly, I see as proof of her strength. She’s fought and won time and time again. I want more. I want to see everything.
“I know why you hate me,” she says.
“Because you took everything from me and don’t know how to keep your mouth shut?” I say.
“No, because I remind you of Odette.”
I laugh at that. “You are nothing like Odette. She was sweet, good-natured, wouldn’t hurt a fly. You’re savage, malicious, and violent.”
She shakes her head. “I didn’t mean personality-wise. You think I’m controlled by my father just like she was.”
I frown. She’s right, but I won’t admit that.
She puts her hands on her hips, pushing her breasts out as rain drips down over her peaked nipples. Her eyes flit past me to, I’m sure, one of the guys, then back to me.
“The other reason—you want me, just like you wanted her.”
I chuckle deviously. “I want to fuck you, just like every man behind me wants to fuck you again. But the difference between them and me? I want to destroy you more.”
“You can’t destroy what’s already demolished.”
“You are far from destroyed, Princess. From what I can see, you’re a wall of strength that I’ll enjoy cracking slowly until you crumble and fall.”
She shivers from the rain, f
rom my words.
“Take off your pants.”
I expect her to look at the other guys. To blush like a dainty princess who hasn’t already been naked in front of all of us before, hasn’t fucked everyone but me. But I guess we’re done playing games and pretending.
Her pants and panties fall to her feet before I can blink; then, she’s standing naked in front of me.
I take my time surveying her body. My eyes roam over every curve, every imperfection, every piece of skin I crave to kiss, touch, taste. Skin that is mine, and yet I won’t allow myself to touch.
I don’t know how much time passes. A stroke of lightning and thunder brings me back to reality.
Ri shakes uncontrollably even as she tries to remain strong. Rain drips off my suit jacket in spades.
“Kneel,” I finally say, my voice deeper than the thunder.
She falls to her knees as if she’s been dying to do just that this entire time.
“Spread your legs.”
She bites her plump bottom lip, but her smile shines through. “Don’t forget that I’m forbidden, Hero. You fuck me and it will be your funeral next.”
I growl, letting her know that she got under my skin.
“Make yourself come, Princess. Make your mouth useful for once and tell me everything you’re doing, everything you’re thinking while you’re doing it.”
She chuckles. “I don’t know how this is punishment, but okay.”
Oh, it’s punishment, alright—punishment for me.
I look behind me and find all four of the bastards. Hayes and Gage are leaning against the siding, eyes glued to her body and probably reliving the night they got to fuck her. They better keep that memory because it will be the only time. I won’t let them risk their lives to fuck her again.
Yea, keep telling yourself that. It has nothing to do with thinking you own her ass.
Caius is standing to my left with his hands in his pockets. He looks like death, like he hasn’t slept in a year. He still doesn’t show any emotion.
Even Lennox is watching, albeit, from further away than the rest. But he still doesn’t go into the house.
They must know if I didn’t want them here, I would order them to go into the house. They’re right. I want them here to ensure I don’t go too far.
We aren’t close as a group. I never asked to be their leader. I haven’t even earned their loyalty. But they are all I have left of Odette. And maybe one day, I’ll earn their loyalty.
“I’m waiting,” I bark.
She smirks. “Still don’t see how this is punishment.” Slowly, one of her hands slides over her chest until she holds one of her swollen breasts in her hand. She lets her thumb brush over her nipple, while her other hand pauses on her stomach, near the beautiful space between her legs.
“Why so quiet? I know you like to talk.”
She licks her lips, rain mixing with her saliva.
“What are you thinking, Ri?” I ask.
“I’m thinking about how much you want me. How you want to lose control, pick me up, grab my ass. I wrap my legs around your waist as you carry me through the house to your bedroom. You’ll slip into me before we make it, though, and I’ll let out a cry so loud that all these assholes will eavesdrop, wishing I was fucking them instead of you.”
I glare at her as my cock comes to life in my pants. Damn her.
“That sounds an awful lot like I’m your hero in this scenario.”
“Maybe I don’t need to be saved from some monster. Maybe I just want you to whisk me away and play the hero when you fuck me. So that for once, I don’t have to be the strong one.”
“Not going to happen, Princess. I save you from others, not yourself, and definitely not me.”
She sighs.
“While I love the direct view of your pussy, I doubt you can make yourself come from just touching your breasts.”
“Oh, I’m very talented. I could make myself come with just my dirty thoughts.”
“Fine, then do it, and I’ll owe you—anything. I’ll play hero however you want.”
Her eyes light up.
She wants to fuck me, fix me, prove to me that I can be with a woman again after Odette.
But I have a theory, and I’m willing to bet everything on it.
“Make yourself come, Ri, without touching that swollen pink clit of yours,” my voice is heady, full of need and want. It should help her, but I think it’s going to do the opposite.
She runs her tongue over her teeth as she pinches her nipple, rubbing her other hand over her soaking thighs.
“You’re going to regret this,” she says, her voice deep and sultry.
I eye her carefully. Either way, I win. Either way, I lose.
I put my hand in the pocket of my jacket. It’s soaked. I’m soaked. I should go inside instead of playing these games, but this is worth getting pneumonia.
She starts to close her eyes, but we can’t have that.
“Look at me, Princess. I need proof when you come.”
“Then you need to be looking at my pussy, not my eyes. Or better yet, slide a finger inside if you really want to check.” She winks at me as her breathing gets heavier.
“No, your eyes. Your eyes can’t lie to me.”
Her eyes roam up and down my body. She stimulates her nipples more; the rain continues to pelt us. Her body trembles slightly while her moans leave her lips. I watch as the rain hits between her legs, hitting her clit and probably pushing her toward the edge. Maybe this was a mistake I’m destined to lose.
Her moans get louder, telling me she’s close. I underestimated her. My theory was wrong.
I hold her gaze, waiting for the moment she explodes.
It never comes.
She never comes.
“You okay there, Princess? If that was an orgasm, it was pathetic. Nothing like what I’m sure these guys induced from you.”
She snarls at me.
I squat down, so we are eye to eye. And okay, yes, so I can get a better view of her. I’m really regretting asking for that rain at this point, even if it is hot as hell to see her dripping with water.
“I’ll give you one more chance. Touch yourself between your legs. Rub that little bundle of nerves you’re aching to press. Make yourself come, and I’ll keep our new agreement. I’ll do anything you want.”
“If you want to fuck me so badly, just say it,” she snarks back.
“That’s a lot of talk for someone who still hasn’t proven she can make herself come.”
Her fingers dive between her folds, slamming against her swollen clit. She thinks she’s going to end this quickly.
I still don’t think she’s going to win.
I stand back up, watching her carefully. My cock is painfully hard in my pants.
I watch her a few minutes, rubbing in circles, stroking, sliding fingers up inside her wet pussy. But she’s no closer to coming than she was when she was just rubbing her breasts and thinking dirty thoughts.
I can see the frustration on her face. She’s a fierce one. She has no problem being naked and touching herself in front of me or any of the others, but she still can’t come.
I decide to push her further while also relieving myself of some of the pain. It will still be plenty of punishment.
I undo my pants and pull my cock out.
Her eyes go wide as she stops what she’s doing and watches me stroke my hard length.
“You’re not going to make yourself come if you stop.”
“What…what are you doing?”
I’m pretty sure she’s drooling, but it’s hard to tell in the rain.
“Racing you. Pretty sure I can make myself come a dozen times before you even succeed once.”
The spark flickers in her eyes. She likes a good competition, but it still won’t be enough. She won’t make herself come. She won’t win.
She pinches her clit before rubbing her fingers over it in fast, punishing circles.
I stroke my cock in h
ard, pushing strokes matching her own fury.
Our eyes glue together in a battle.
I could come in two seconds flat. I’ve been aching far too long, but I force myself to hold back and have more time to watch her.
I can see the defeat in her eyes. She pushes harder once more, but then her fingers slow. Her shoulders slump. Her eyes drift from mine to Caius.
I keep stroking, but then I see the concern flicker in her eyes at the sight of Caius. It’s the same one I felt.
She doesn’t show that concern when she looks at me. She doesn’t soften with me; she hardens. She fights.
And then I do something I never thought I would. I walk forward.
“Open,” I say, grabbing her hair as I shove my cock between her lips before either of us can think about it.
I break my vow not to touch her, not to feel good with her. It shatters me. I won’t last, but then that’s not the point. I’ve crossed a line, and now that it’s crossed, there is no going back. I’m going to want more. I’ll try to deny myself, punish myself, but I won’t be able to. I’ve gotten a taste of the forbidden apple, and I want more.
She gasps at first, but then she wraps her lips around my cock like a pro. I don’t give her time to adjust or even catch her breath. I pump deep into her mouth until I’m hitting the back of her throat. My grip on her hair tightens into a fist as I tilt her head up to look at me.
The rain drives down harder, picking up as I drive my cock into her faster. Rain hits her eyes, her nose, her cheeks. She gags and struggles against my cock. Still, just a whisper of my fingers against the lips between her legs, and she’d explode too.
Too bad I’m a cruel man.
Too bad I’m more intent on winning than letting her get a release.
I can’t hold back my own release. I come hard down her throat, only pulling out after she’s taken my full load. Her throat bobbing up and down as my cum pours down her throat.
I tuck myself back into my pants before I lean down and whisper so only she can hear me.
“You know why you couldn’t come?”
She shakes her head.
“Because I told you to. You hate taking orders. You refuse to take them, which means one of two things. You do what Corsi says because he has someone you love, or you do it because you want to. That way it isn’t really an order. I think it’s the second one. Either way, it doesn’t matter to me. Either way, you are no use to me.”