by Ella Miles
When I look at Beckett, I know where I want to be and I’m tired of hiding my feelings. Caius made it clear he’s sorry. He owes me, even if I pick Beckett.
I walk to the passenger seat of Beckett’s car. I watch as Hayes follows, but Beckett shakes his head at him. Hayes laughs as he jumps in Caius’s SUV.
Beckett starts driving. I lean my head back, resting the bag of ice on my shoulder, knowing it’s going to take a few days for the ache to go away.
“What now?” I ask Beckett.
“You heard Caius. I have to go back to claim my throne.”
I smile when Beckett says ‘throne.’
“It wouldn’t surprise me if there was an actual crown and throne. They seem to take their rituals seriously.”
“You’re probably right.”
“But that’s not what I meant. I meant you’re going to be their leader, and then what? Do you still want to lead them after what they did? Do you still want retribution for Odette? Or do you want to forget everything and go back to your life before? Start again?”
We pull up to the Retribution Kings’ headquarters. He stops the engine and looks deep into my eyes. “I don’t have a choice. Neither of us has a choice. And if you think either of us does, you’re more naive than I thought.” He gets out of the car and walks around to my side, helping me out. “Stay close. We won’t stay long, just long enough for them to recognize me as their leader.”
I nod.
He cups my chin and then kisses me softly on my lips. “We may not have a choice about our future, but tonight we have a choice.”
I cock my head, not understanding.
He smirks. “I want to make a new deal. I fuck you for a lifetime of me saving you.”
17
Beckett
I grab Ri’s hand attached to her uninjured arm and don’t plan on letting it go—ever if I had my choice, but at least until I have her safely away from these people. Even some in the Retribution Kings apparently hate her and want her dead. I won’t let anyone hurt her ever again.
As we start walking back into the building that Caius and I fought in, I feel the other guys surrounding us. For once, I truly know that they are on our side—even Caius.
It’s much quieter than before, but people are still milling about even though it’s the middle of the night. They’re no doubt waiting to find out who their new leader is. They eye us as we walk in, and it should be clear from my position in the front of the group that I won. A man approaches us as we walk down the stairs to the ring.
“So we have a winner?” he asks with a happy smirk.
My eyes darken, and I grip Ri’s hand so tight I’m sure I’m breaking bones.
“We do. I won, but if anyone pulls a stunt like that again, I’ll kill them. I don’t care who they are to this organization. You wanted me as your leader, you got me,” I say.
The man’s eyebrows jump up as he looks from me to Caius. I can see him nod sternly in agreement out of the corner of my eye. The man’s smile gets brighter as if he’s happy I won.
“Come, Beckett, you and I have a lot to talk about. I’m Charles, by the way,” he says, holding his hand out.
“Actually, we don’t. It’s been a long night.” I tuck Ri under my shoulder. “All I want is to confirm I’m the leader. I won’t have any more trouble, and now I’m going to bed.”
“Of course. Let me just introduce you as the winner first. You’ll have to say a few vows, and then you can go.”
“No crown? No blood oath?” I snarl.
He laughs. “We’ll save that for the full initiation later after you get retribution.”
I roll my eyes. I was joking, but apparently, he isn’t.
“Did you take care of Harry’s body?” Caius asks.
“We did. And unless Beckett here wants us to get retribution for his death…,” he pauses, waiting for my answer.
“Harry got what he deserved,” I answer.
“Good, then that’s settled.”
We follow Charles down the stairs to the center ring. Ri shivers at the ring. It surprises me since she’s spent her entire life on a pedestal, all eyes on her.
I help her up in the ring, not allowing a break in our hands. Caius, Gage, Lennox, and Hayes join us as well.
Charles grabs a microphone, and the room silences.
“It’s late, and everyone wants to sleep, so I’ll make this short. We have a winner, a new leader, a new king. Beckett is the winner.”
The crowd breaks out into loud cheers and applause.
My eyes roam the room, trying to understand this new group, of which I just became the leader. The applause isn’t because they are happy that I’m their new leader. Some may be genuinely happy, but others are only clapping out of self-preservation. They know that I have the power to kill them without fear of retribution.
“Beckett will assume temporary control that will become permanent after he gets retribution for Odette.” Charles turns to me. “Do you, Beckett, vow to be loyal to the Retribution Kings? Do you promise to protect everyone who pledges loyalty to the Kings—man, woman, and child? Do you vow to do everything in your power to put the interests of the group first when leading? And most importantly, do you vow to get retribution for anyone who breaks our trust, our loyalty, or is in any way our enemy? Do you accept that if you fail to uphold your vows, you will pay with your life?”
The room is silent as they wait for my answer.
Monroe is the oldest king there has ever been. It doesn’t take a history lesson to understand why. Their enemies killed them; or they failed to uphold their vows, and their own people killed them. Either way, it’s not a long job.
I look out into the crowd, knowing this moment is important. I already know I’m going to break the vows. I don’t care about any of them. Tried to hurt me, but I won’t let them do it again.
With ice-cold vengeance, I say, “I vow to be the greatest king you’ve ever known.”
The crowd cheers once again.
I don’t wait around to hear more. I tug on Ri’s hand, and then we are running up the stairs and out the back door. We jog quickly out of the building and back to my car. I don’t wait for the others. Unfortunately, I have to release Ri’s hand to be able to drive the car, and I feel empty and lost the second that I do.
I drive and drive.
Away from this horrible place.
Away from the guys I don’t know if I should trust or not.
Away from it all.
Ri hasn’t spoken. She hasn’t asked any questions, but when she sees that we aren’t driving back to the cabin, she finally speaks up.
“I’m not sure what your new deal means,” she says, her voice soft, timid, so unlike her.
My eyes cut to her. She’s cradling her sore arm, shivering slightly in her seat.
I flick on her heated seat, and her dark eyes engulf me.
“We’re going to your apartment,” I say because I know she’s wondering.
“I guessed that when you turned back toward the city. That or you’re returning me to Vincent because I’m nothing but trouble.”
“I’m not returning you. You aren’t his. You’re mine,” I say.
“You keep saying that.” She tugs on her seatbelt, adjusting herself in the seat. “But I can’t be yours.”
“It’s true, though. There’s the stupid game. Your father. The Retribution Kings. All our enemies. My old family. But none of them matter. You’re mine. You belong to me.”
“What if I want to belong to myself?” she whispers.
I stop the car in the parking lot next to her apartment. I turn slowly in my seat so I can face her.
“I’d call you a liar.” My thumb strokes against her neck, and she gasps. “You don’t want to belong to yourself. You want to belong to me. You want me to want you in all ways. To love you, marry you, die for you. You want the fairytale, the hero to come save you from this life you were born into, even though you’re fully capable of saving yourself. Your lif
e may not have dragons and moats, but you’re trapped in a tower all the same. You want to be mine.”
She closes her eyes as I kiss along her neck, pulling soft moans from deep inside her. She tilts her head back, giving me better access until I nip on her earlobe, and she almost falls apart. But then her eyes snap open, and she grabs my wrist, stopping me from stroking her neck again.
“You’re wrong.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.” Her lips hover over mine, and her tongue darts out, tracing a line along her bottom lip. “I don’t want to be yours, unless you’re also mine. And you’ll never be mine. You’ll never open yourself up again to belong to anyone. Belonging to someone isn’t a weakness; it’s a vulnerability. It’s risking everything. Odette hurt you too badly to ever belong to anyone ever again.”
She pulls back, and then there is far too much space between us. But damn, she’s right. I hate that she’s right.
I’ve lost too much already. If I hadn’t, I would go after Ri full-hearted. I would do everything to win her, to defeat her father, to take her far away from here, somewhere where she’s safe. Somewhere where we only belong to each other, not stupid vows to other people.
“We don’t have a future; all we have is tonight. I know it’s not enough.” It’s not enough for either of us. “But I stand by what I said. I want to fuck you, and then I’ll do everything I can to save you.”
She nods. “But you’ll never belong to me.”
It’s a statement, not a question, but I nod anyway.
She takes a deep breath. “No.”
“No?”
“No, I don’t accept your deal. If you want to fuck me, then fuck me. Not because of some deal. I accept that if I let my feelings get involved, it’s my own fault. All I’ll get is a night of good sex, nothing more. I don’t want you to save me in exchange for sex. I don’t want anything in exchange for sex.”
“What if I ask for naughty, disturbed, embarrassing things?”
She blushes. “That’s different. For things I don’t want to do, I expect a hero save in return.”
I nod darkly. She’s wrong if she thinks she doesn’t want or enjoy the darker things I want from her. She wants them, but I’d also save her for free. I guess it’s fair.
She glances up at the tower where her apartment is. “Want to come up?”
I growl, licking my lips.
She laughs.
I’m out of the car before she can get her hand on her door. She laughs again when I take her hand and start walking into the building. When we get to the elevator, I hit the floor for eleven.
“Do I even want to know how you know where I live?”
“You can ask, but it would probably creep you out, and since you really want to fuck me, I don’t think it would be a good idea.”
She zips her mouth shut.
The doors finally open on her floor, and I drag her out. She stops suddenly, forcing me to stop so I don’t let go of her hand. I’ve forgotten in the short time I’ve had without Odette, how it feels to be holding a woman’s hand. I like it, maybe too much.
“I don’t have my key,” Ri says. “Is there a hotel nearby?”
I grin and tug her toward the door. “I don’t need a key.”
I pick the lock easily, even though it’s an intricate lock, and then lead her inside.
The second we are through the door, I finally pounce. If I did earlier, we never would have made it to her apartment. I would’ve fucked her in the car or an alleyway, and I’m not that much of an asshole. She deserves a proper bed. That and I’m too sore to try to fuck in the backseat of a car like a teenager. I’m too old to screw up my back when there is a perfectly good bed just minutes away.
The second our lips touch, I realize that not fucking her this entire time has been a mistake. She tastes like water after a long drought.
Maybe it’s wrong to want someone so soon after loss.
Maybe it’s part of the grieving process.
Maybe I’m just a monster.
Or maybe it’s because the feelings I had for Odette weren’t really love at all, no matter how I felt. Maybe I can’t love. I’m not capable of it.
Whatever the reason, I turn off my brain. I won’t be needing it anymore tonight. All I need is her.
I tilt her head back as I ram her into the wall, careful not to let her injured shoulder hit. Our bodies line up—my hardness against her soft. Her lips devour mine with delicious strokes of her tongue massaging mine. My hand runs down her body, finding its way under her tank until I find her hips and pull her harder against my body. It’s moments like this that I wish I had two hands. Two hands to feel her with, to grab her, to tease her, to make her moan.
My one hand has to work twice as hard, but the way she’s moaning, coming completely undone against me, tells me my one hand is more than enough, and we haven’t even gotten to the good part yet.
“Freeze, or I’ll shoot. And Loki here will rip your balls off,” a sassy voice says from behind me.
I stop kissing Ri so reluctantly that I’m afraid I might die if I don’t kiss her again in the next five seconds.
“Sorry,” Ri whispers with a knowing grin.
“Stop teaching everyone self-defense,” I whisper back.
“You brought me here; you could have brought me to a fancy hotel instead,” she whispers.
“I wanted you to feel safe,” I whisper back.
Her eyes glisten at my words.
I roll my eyes, and then I turn, facing Lucy, Ri’s roommate and friend. We haven’t met yet, but I knew she’d be here. I just assumed she’d be asleep at three in the morning.
“I’m not hurting her,” I say, holding my hand up.
“I don’t trust any man with Rialta. Now leave, and I won’t call the police,” Lucy says, her hand shaking.
I don’t leave.
She releases the dog, who does a good job of barking loudly. He’d scare off most burglars, but he doesn’t attack. If anything, he retreats a step.
“Loki, attack!” Lucy commands, but the dog just takes a step back and keeps barking.
I use her distraction against her and disarm her in one quick move, taking her gun and pinning her arm behind her back. “I’m Beckett.”
Lucy’s eyes light up, and I look to Ri.
“It seems that Ri has been talking about me. Good, so you already know who I am and that I’m not her enemy.” Lucy struggles in my arm.
“Now, if I let you go, do you promise not to pull a gun on me again?”
She nods.
Slowly, I release her. She looks to Loki. “What good are you?”
The dog comes up to sniff me now that Lucy has calmed down. The large dog licks my hand, and then he finally pounces on me, putting his giant paws up on my chest, which did more than his loud barks ever could.
“Down,” I command, and the dog lies down at my feet.
Lucy blinks. “Sure, you behave for him.”
Ri laughs. “Sorry, Lucy. Loki is here to make you feel safe, not to actually keep you safe.”
“Thanks for letting me know.” Lucy huffs. “So he’s legit? You two are together?”
“Um…” Ri runs her hand through her ponytail. “We aren’t exactly together, but I plan on fucking him if that’s what you mean.”
Lucy’s eyes widen, and she grins. “I’ll let you have some privacy then, on the condition that you give me all the details later. And I mean all the details.” Her eyes roam my body and then land on my crotch.
I raise an eyebrow at Ri.
“I’ll tell you everything later. You’re the best.” Ri walks over and kisses Lucy on the cheek.
“Just give me a second to change and pack a quick overnight bag,” Lucy says.
I pull out my phone to text Hayes while Lucy heads to her bedroom to change out of the men’s boxers and Harry Styles T-shirt she was wearing. Hayes and the guys probably followed the tracker in Ri to make sure she’s safe. After a couple of quick texts, L
ucy is back out into the living room.
“There will be a guy named Hayes in the lobby. Tell him where you want to go, and he’ll take you. The hotel is on me, and he’ll sleep out in the hallway to ensure you’re safe.”
“Is he hot?”
I blink, not believing that’s all she cares about.
Ri answers, “Yes, Hayes is hot.” Ri looks to me. “Lucy doesn’t worry about her safety anymore. When we were younger, men would try to kidnap her to get to me, but after Vincent refused to pay the ransom once, they realized that Lucy wasn’t a good enough threat. They’ve left her alone ever since.” She turns back to Lucy. “But go with Hayes. He’s a good guy. He’ll ensure you get settled somewhere.”
“He a good fuck?” she asks Ri.
“He knows what to do with his hands,” she answers back with a wink.
She’s going to pay for that.
Lucy kisses Ri on the cheek and then heads to the door. She opens it, and Hayes is standing in the hallway. She looks back at Ri. “Definitely hot.”
Hayes smirks like he knows they are talking about him.
“Oh, and Lucy?” I say.
She stops and looks at me.
“Next time you think a guy is trying to kidnap Ri, just shoot, don’t make idle threats.”
She smiles. “I knew it was you the whole time. I just wanted to see how far you’d go to fight for our girl. You passed by the way.” And then Lucy is tugging on Hayes. “There’s a Four Seasons a couple of blocks from here since Mister-can’t-keep-it-in-his-pants is paying.”
Ri shuts the door, and we can no longer hear Lucy.
“I taught her everything she knows,” Ri says.
“Figured.”
We stand on opposite sides of the room. As explosive as we were before, we both know that the second we touch each other, any thoughts are going to vanish.
Ri walks to the living room, running her hand over a frame of her giving Lucy Loki as a puppy. The dog in question is still lying on the ground at my feet.
“It’s so strange being back here. My memories are still clouded, mixed up from the drugs. Thanks for that, by the way.”