The Art of the Hustle

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The Art of the Hustle Page 55

by Edward Mullen


  ***

  “Alright, after this hand, blinds go up to twenty-five/fifty,” Steve said.

  “So, Trevor, what are you going to do once you graduate?”

  “I’m not sure yet, I was thinking about moving back to Vancouver to do my practicum.”

  “Really, why don’t you just stay here?” Dan asked.

  “I don’t know, I guess I miss my home.”

  “Bet – fifty.”

  “Why don’t you guys move to Vancouver? Steve, you’re from Vancouver, don’t you plan to go back?”

  “I don’t know, I haven’t been back in a while,” Steve replied.

  “We should all take a trip out there this summer. Steve and I can show you guys around.”

  “Call.”

  “We’ll all be graduating at the same time and none of us really have any commitments here,” I said.

  “Except for the contacts, the comfort, the internships…” Dan replied.

  “Yeah, but you can get those things anywhere really. I mean, look how fast I met you guys.”

  “Yeah, but we’re your only friends.”

  “That’s not true, I met someone today. Her name is Jessica.”

  “Ha, good luck with that!” Dan said.

  “Why? Who’s Jessica?” Steve asked.

  “She’s some really hot girl in our constitutional law class. Trevor tried to talk to her, but she completely ignored him.”

  “That’s not true, she didn’t completely ignore me. Besides she was probably just really enjoying the lecture and I was distracting her.”

  “Yeah, the lecture on constitutional law was riveting,” he said sarcastically.

  “Anyways, the point is, that there’s no need to stay in this city. Vancouver has a lot to offer. It’s a bigger city and there are a lot more opportunities there.”

  “I’m not totally against the idea. I could move there if everybody else does,” Jeremy said.

  “What do you want to do with your life, Jeremy?” I asked.

  “I don’t know; probably just get a job somewhere. Maybe start my own business.”

  “What kind of business?” I asked.

  “I have a few ideas. I was thinking about buying a glass factory.”

  “A glass factory?” I asked, just to make sure I heard him correctly.

  “Yeah, you know, windows, windshields, maybe even cookware.”

  “Would you sell glass cups?” Steve asked in a mocking tone.

  “Sure, I’ll sell those too.”

  “Alright, so you have your glass company, then what?” I probed further.

  “First I would buy one, then another, then another. Eventually, I’ll have a monopoly on the glass supply industry in a certain region.”

  “Okay?” I said puzzled.

  “Here’s the smart bit. Whenever business is slow, I’ll go around town, or hire someone to go around town, and smash a bunch of windows. Then, I sit back and watch the money roll in.”

  “This is your plan?” Dan asked, as if he was not quite sure whether to take him seriously or not.

  “Um, Jeremy…” I paused for a moment to find my words, “… don’t you think that would be a little…transparent?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Let’s say you own all the glass companies in the city and suddenly the police receive a flood of reports stating that everyone’s windows are smashed out. You’re the first person they’re going to come looking for.”

  “No, I’ve already thought of that. That’s why all the glass companies will be under different names.”

  No one was convinced this was the next big investment opportunity.

  “And this isn’t just limited to a glass company either. The same concept works with a tire factory, or a graffiti removal company. When business is slow…” He stopped when he realized none of us were on board with his scam/business proposal.

  “Whatever, you guys are just haters.”

  “Look, Jeremy, those are some really creative ideas, but do you have any that aren’t so… illegal? I’m a student of the law; I can’t get behind an idea where you go around undermining the whole system.”

  “Alright, what did you have in mind?”

  “I have a plan…” I said mysteriously, as I slowly looked each person at the table in the eyes.

  “Are you going to tell us what it is, or are you just going to eyeball us all night?” Steve said.

  “It’s not quite ready, but I have been trying to work out a business plan for the past few months. This can’t leave this room…”

  C H A P T E R

  F O R T Y - O N E

  It was a little past ten in the morning and I was home watching the market, still in my housecoat. Fortunately, class was cancelled so I was able to relax at home without having some tweed jacket professor blabbing in my ear.

  There was a knock at my door, so I got up to answer it. It was Dan. I invited him in and offered him a smoothie, but he declined. He put his bag down on the floor and began his interrogation.

  “Dude, I saw some girl sneaking out of your apartment early this morning, who was that?” he asked.

  “It was just this girl from class.”

  “Who?”

  “I don’t know, I didn’t catch her last name, Jessica something,” I said with a slight smirk, then I took a drink of my morning smoothie.

  “You mean that hot girl from our class?”

  “Yeah, you know, it’s no big deal.”

  “What? No big deal? Of course it is. How the hell did that happen? Tell me everything.”

  “Oh, Dan, don’t bother yourself with all the details. All you need to know is that it happened, and it was amazing.”

  “Shut up. I want details and I want them now.”

  “There’s nothing much to tell really. I was out at a bar on campus last night with some friends from my study group and we bumped into each other.”

  “And?”

  “And… apparently we hit it off. She’s actually a really cool girl. I think you would like her,” I said, as I took a sip of my smoothie.

  “Go on.”

  “Yeah, it’s funny actually because we didn’t see each other the whole night until after we were all leaving.”

  “Oh, so you didn’t bump into each other ‘at’ the bar, you bumped into her ‘outside’ the bar?”

  “I guess so, why? What are you getting at?”

  “I’m just trying to get clear with the details. Please continue.”

  “Like I was saying, we were all leaving and then I hear some woman call out ‘hey’, so I turned around and there she was.”

  “Where was your precise location?”

  “I was in the parking lot, just down the street from the bar.”

  “What was your proximity to your car?”

  “I had one foot in, why?”

  “Oh, so you had one foot in?” Dan said, as he made a face.

  “Yes.”

  “Alright, so it was at this point where you apparently ‘hit it off’, is that correct?”

  “Yes, that is correct.”

  “I’m sorry to say this, Trevor, but you’re dealing with a certified gold digger.”

  “What makes you establish that conclusion?”

  “Let’s go back to the beginning and run through the chain of events leading up to last night,” Dan said, trying his best to sound like a trial lawyer cross-examining a witness.

  “One day, you’re in class minding your own business and you see a hot girl. You say ‘hello’. She is not rude, but is… shall we say, unfriendly?”

  “We shall.”

  “Okay, so she is unfriendly. She obliges to your small talk, but gives you the very least amount of attention possible, one notch above completely ignoring you. Is that a fair assessment?”

  “I believe it is.”

  “Then, after a chance encounter outside the bar one night, she decides she is going to call out to you, ‘hey’. Isn’t that right?”
/>   “Yes, that’s right.”

  “Was it not established,” he said, as he raised his voice, “that her sudden change of heart coincided with your apparent proximity to a two hundred and fifty thousand dollar automobile, WHICH, by the way, she did not know you had when you first met her in class?”

  “That seems accurate.”

  “Once she sees you, she does the exact opposite of ignoring you, and shows you all kinds of love and affection. Next thing you know, she is seen tiptoeing out of your apartment this morning with a slightly dissatisfied look on her face. I rest my case.”

  “I must admit, it’s a wonderful theory, and very well executed I must say. But I think you may have been a bit too hasty with a few of your inferences.”

  “Is that a fact?”

  “Yes, sir, I believe it is.”

  “Alright then, please enlighten me on the precise details you have inferred from said event.”

  “Like you said, I was minding my own business one day in class, when you inform me of a hot chick sitting next to me. I didn’t even notice her at first; you had to point her out to me. Isn’t that right?”

  “Yeah yeah yeah, get on with it.”

  “That means she sat down after we sat down. She could have taken any seat in that room, but decided to sit down right next to me. Shortly after, I proceeded to engage in a little light conversation with her, but she remained focused on the lecture.

  At first, we mistakenly interpreted this as being bitchy, or as we agreed, ‘unfriendly’, but we would not be doing our due diligence if we were to draw such a harsh conclusion based on such a brief interaction. After all, here is an obviously bright woman who was trying to understand the complexities of constitutional law when I rudely interrupted her. We certainly can’t fault her for putting her education first. Besides, it could be argued she is experienced in the delicate art of seduction and was merely enticing her suitor by playing hard to get.

  A few weeks go by and the guy of her dreams, me, has not said another word to her since our first encounter. She feels she has no choice but to take actions into her own hands. Fortunately for her, she happens to see me at the bar one night. At first, she was too shy to come over and talk to me, but that all changed by the end of the night when she had a few more drinks in her. She finally built up enough courage to talk to me, but it was too late, I had left. Deciding this was her moment, she searched the bar, but could not find me anywhere. Feeling that her window of opportunity was closing, she went outside, desperate to find me. As fate would have it, she was in luck; there I was, walking down the street. She called out to me, but I did not hear her at first. She then dashed toward me, calling out again, ‘hey’, just in the nick of time, before I was about to drive off.”

  Dan laughed and rolled his eyes, “yeah, that sounds about right. You are going to make a good lawyer someday, or maybe a good fiction writer, but unfortunately, I’m not convinced. Do me a favor, Trevor. As a social experiment, ask her out on a second date, but this time show up at her house in an old rusted Datsun. Tell her the Ferrari was a rental and see if she will sleep with you again.”

  C H A P T E R

  F O R T Y - T W O

  It was 11:00 a.m. when we arrived in Vancouver and thankfully, the sun was shining. The flight was long, but we slept through most of it. Outside the YVR airport was a row of yellow cabs lined up waiting. At the front of the line was a shiny stretch limousine ready to take us anywhere we wanted. The driver quickly got out and rushed over to help us with our bags.

  “Where to today, my friends?” the driver asked.

  “1390 The Crescent, please.”

  “The Crescent?” Dan asked. “That sounds fancy.”

  The limo pulled out of the lineup and headed north toward Steve’s parents’ house. Steve’s parents were on vacation and would be gone all summer so we had the entire house all to ourselves.

  As we drove down Granville Street, I had butterflies in my stomach from being in the city again. Just looking at the skyline brought back so many memories. I couldn’t quite see Ashley’s building, but I looked for it. I wondered if she still lived there. It had been two years since we had last spoken and I wondered what she had been up to.

  The limo entered the Shaughnessy neighborhood. I gazed out at the beautiful houses; each house was bigger than the last. I hadn’t spent a lot of time in this part of town, but I had an idea of the property value.

  “It’s this one on the right,” Steve instructed the driver.

  As we got out, we looked up in amazement. I think we all had an idea of what to expect when we pulled up to his parents’ house, but this exceeded all of our expectations.

  “So this is the house you grew up in, Steve?” Dan asked.

  “It’s one of them.”

  Steve hopped out and punched in the code for the security gate. The limo driver waited for him to get back in before he slowly crept down the long wrap-around driveway. The limo finally came to a stop under the large covered entryway. We each grabbed our luggage from the trunk and wheeled them up to the front door of the hotel-sized house. Steve unlocked the door and deactivated the alarm. As soon as we stepped inside, we all looked up at the magnificent entrance. At the top of the forty foot high ceiling was one of the largest crystal chandeliers I had ever seen. It dangled in between two massive dome skylights.

  “Wow, this is a nice place, Steve. Are you going to give us the grand tour?”

  “Yeah, sure. If you guys want to set your bags down, I’ll show you around.”

  We set our bags down on the polished white marble floor and followed Steve through the house. Everything seemed expensive, and each piece of furniture had a story. Even the coffee table was not just an ordinary coffee table – it was imported from some far off region of the globe.

  “In here is our kitchen. If you guys ever get a fridge, get this one, it has an airtight seal and controls the exact temperature for you. And it’s super quiet.”

  “How much does that cost?” I asked.

  “This one was customized to match our cabinets so I think it was about ten grand.”

  It took us about twenty minutes to walk in and out of every room on the first floor. “Wait until you guys see the downstairs,” Steve said, as he raced down a winding staircase. When we arrived, we saw a large swimming pool surrounded by lots of plants. It looked like an oasis in the jungle. On the far left of the illuminated blue water was a mountain of stonework and greenery that had a waterslide through the centre. One entire wall was made of glass, which offered a full view of the spectacular backyard. It was a large green pasture with a beautiful assortment of trees and flowers.

  We proceeded to walk down the hall from the pool area, where Steve briefly introduced us to the family’s home gym. It was complete with nearly everything a major fitness club would have. “Okay, are you guys ready for my favourite room in the house?” Steve asked. We unanimously nodded our heads and mumbled something, indicating our mutual agreement.

  Steve peeled open two heavy double doors to reveal the most elaborate home theatre any of us had ever seen before. It was designed to look like a scaled-down version of a real movie theatre. We stood at the back of the theatre behind three rows of large leather chairs cascading downward. At the front was a small stage with curtains, and by my guess, a 100″ LED TV screen.

  “Come on, I’ll show you to your rooms... we can take the elevator.”

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