by Alexis Hall
“None are to be admitted.”
“Your boss isn’t big on initiative, is he?”
He glared.
Elise glanced over. “Is it time for Plan B, Miss Kane?”
“I guess so.”
We sat there in silence for about twenty seconds.
“Forgive me for asking, but what is the nature of Plan B?”
“I’m hoping if we sit here for long enough, they’ll get bored and let us in.”
There was a blare of horns as a limo glided down the ramp and got stuck behind us.
I guess that was Plan B.
One of Caradoc’s men rapped on the roof. “You will need to move.”
“I can’t.”
“I suppose you think you’ve been very clever.”
“I told you this’d be easier if you’d just let me in.”
In the rearview mirror I saw a door open, and Henry jumped out of the limo and came to investigate.
“Um,” he said, “what’s causing the hold-up?”
“A mortal is trying to breach the perimeter.”
I waved.
Henry peered into the car. He looked like he was trying not to laugh. “Oh, for God’s sake, you pointless minion, just let her through.”
“I do not take orders from dogs.”
“Look, it’s a very straightforward situation.” And then he punched him.
The enforcer staggered back before turning on Henry, fangs bared. It looked like the fight was starting early.
There was a polite cough from inside the car park, and Thomas Pryce stepped into the light. “Is there a problem, gentlemen?”
The mook scowled. “He attacked me.”
Henry folded his arms haughtily. “Fellow was being unreasonable.”
Pryce sighed and pressed the button to lift the barrier. I gunned my engine, ready to go.
“Our orders were no mortals.”
“I have found that if Miss Kane wants to be somewhere, keeping her out becomes expensive.”
The goons backed off, Henry got back into the limo, and I drove inside. It was kind of the poshest car park ever: all gleaming white floors and bright lights. The company that ran it probably sold it as a bespoke parking solution or something. A bunch of vampires were standing around in the middle.
I tucked my car into a corner where I was pretty sure it wouldn’t get wrecked in the fight. Even so, it was probably the classiest thing that had ever happened to it.
The wolfmobile dropped Tara and the pack, before turning round and leaving. The vampires and werewolves formed themselves into a circle, kind of like when two kids used to fight in the playground at school.
Elise and I put on our best totally meant to be here faces and walked right over there. It was a bit of a low turnout. Julian and Thomas were the only princes who’d bothered to turn up. And, of the Council, there was only al-Rashid and Diego.
“I see you brought your cat’s-paw,” sneered Diego at Julian.
“If that’s my girlfriend you’re talking about, she’s here of her own accord. As usual.” There was a puff of shadows from the far side of the circle, and Julian bamfed over. “What are you doing?” she whispered.
“Looking for you.”
Julian insinuated herself between me and Elise, and took our arms like a very small Hugh Hefner. “Oh, how sweet. Did you miss me or am I just in mortal danger?”
“Little from column A, little from column B.”
Our impromptu threesome slotted into the circle between Thomas Pryce and al-Rashid. Tara and Caradoc were already in the middle, quietly sizing each other up.
Then, I heard a strange scrabbling in the walls and rats came pouring out of the air vents. Their claws skittered on the floor as they rushed towards us, their bodies flowing into the shape of the skinny, floppy-haired emo kid I knew as Jack.
“’Scuse me.” He squeezed his way into the circle and stood there, looking bashfully at his battered Converses.
“Ah, who the hell are you?” demanded Tuffie or Smudge.
“This one speaks for the Multitude.” The many-voices echoed through the empty car park.
Tuffie or Smudge looked awkward. “Just checking. No offence, yah.”
“S’alright.” Jack shoved his hands into the pockets of his oversized combats. “But, like, I’ve got to do the fight now.”
Al-Rashid muttered something about this not being the way things were done in Istanbul.
“So...” Jack blew his fringe out of his eyes. “You two are going to fight now, and if you win”—he nodded at Caradoc—“like, the pack will go home and not bug you anymore. But if you win”—a nod for Tara—“then they get to, like, kill you all or something. Only not like now. Like in a war or something.”
Well, that had been less ritual-y than I’d expected.
Jack trudged off to take his place in the circle. “So like...one two three go.”
They went.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Conflicts & Resolutions
Caradoc shot forwards and caught Tara by the throat before she had a chance to change. Tara jabbed the heel of her hand into his chin and raked her claws down his face. For a moment, I thought the guy was going to lose his eyes again. You’d think he’d want to invest in goggles or something.
Caradoc twisted his head away and hurled Tara through the circle and across the car park. She slammed heavily into a pillar, shifting as she fell. She landed on four paws, tearing free of the tatters of her dress.
It was probably wrong, but I found it kind of hot.
Caradoc came forwards cautiously, trying to circle her. Tara dropped her belly to the ground, watching him through gleaming amber eyes. He charged and Tara lunged forwards, sinking her teeth into his leg. There was a sort of cracking noise, like when you’re jointing a chicken, and Caradoc went down.
There was a nasty struggle on the ground, all fur and blood and snarling. And then Caradoc was up, and Tara was flying across the car park again.
Right into my bloody car.
“How very unfortunate,” said Elise. “I am certain that will not be covered by the insurance. I recall the specifications of the policy quite distinctly.”
Tara crawled out of the back seat of my Corsa, scattering broken glass. I didn’t like to think what she’d done to my upholstery. Caradoc edged warily past her, reached down and ripped off the fucking door.
“I do not believe that is covered by the insurance either.”
“Well, sweeting,” drawled Julian, “that’s what you get if you park in a bad part of town.”
Caradoc snapped off the top of the window frame, straightened it out into a kind of swordy shape and threw everything else aside. I guess he was a stick-to-what-you-know kind of guy. He went for Tara again, trying to impale her on his shiny new metal spike. She swerved away, and he gouged a deep wound into her flank. As he pulled his arm back for another strike, she wheeled round and sprang at him. The tip of the weapon pierced her shoulder, but he took her full weight on his chest and crashed backwards, somehow managing not to damage any more of my property.
Tara snapped at his face, forcing him to bring his hands up in self-defence. They struggled a moment, then Caradoc shoved the wolf away, sending her and his makeshift spear tumbling across the floor. He attacked at full vamp speed, a blur of claws and fangs and righteous anger.
In a rush of gold, Tara shifted back to her human form, ripped the piece of window frame from her shoulder, and plunged it straight into Caradoc’s heart.
He dropped. Looking pretty surprised.
There was a long silence broken only by Tara’s harsh breathing and then by a golf clap from Julian. “Well, that was efficacious.”
Diego gave Julian a look that said if I had my way, I’d be strapping you to a rack about now.
Tuffie o
r Smudge hurried forwards with one of Tara’s trademark wispy dressing gowns. She slipped her arms into the robe, the marks on her body already closing as I looked at them. Not that I was looking.
Jack shuffled forwards. “So, um, the challenger loses, so I, um, guess the war goes on. This is still, um, neutral ground, so don’t, like, kill each other until you get outside.” Then he exploded into a swarm of rats and scattered.
Tara shook out her hair. “I will give you one hour’s grace, and after that, we will kill any vampire we find on the streets.”
“You know,” observed Thomas Pryce, “this is all needlessly wasteful.”
“It is typical of your kind to negotiate when you have already been defeated.”
“Miss Vane-Tempest, I cannot think of a better time to negotiate.”
She swept past him. “I have nothing to say to you.”
Her dramatic exit was spoiled by the white Ford transit van that came trundling down the ramp into the car park. And I’d thought my car looked out of place. It came to a halt in front of the wolves, the back doors swung open, and a kid in a blue school uniform with her hands cuffed behind her back tumbled out onto the floor.
“Philippa!” cried Tuffie or Smudge.
Mercy descended from the back of the van like a very conservatively dressed avenging angel. She rested one taloned hand on the girl’s shoulder. It didn’t look hard, but Philippa cringed. “Do you know how foolish it is that you send all of your children to the same two schools?”
Tara froze. “Let her go. Now.”
“Or what?”
“Or we’ll kill you all.”
“Isn’t that your plan anyway?” Mercy’s fingers tightened slightly. “This is simple retribution. You exterminate us, we will exterminate you. I believe, during détente, they referred to it as mutually assured destruction.”
Philippa whimpered, and Tara took a half step forwards. “This violates the Compact.”
Mercy tilted her head slightly. It reminded me of Aeglica. “You are entitled to attempt to control our numbers. We are entitled to defend ourselves.”
“Defend yourselves,” snarled Henry, coming to Tara’s side, “not abduct children.”
“The law does not constrain us to fight only with weapons of your choosing. This girl is just an example. Unless my agents hear otherwise, a generation of your people will be wiped out.”
Tara’s whole body tensed. This wasn’t the kind of situation where you made a lot of sudden movements and sudden movements were kind of her thing. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“You have no idea what I would or would not dare. Call off your hunt, go home, and leave our business to us.”
“Let Pippa go.”
“Take your cub.” Mercy stepped away. Philippa scrambled to her feet and ran, teary-eyed, to where the pack was waiting. “Now, do you agree to my terms?”
“For the moment. But you’ve made an enemy today.”
Mercy folded her clawed hands neatly in front of her. “I’ve tried making friends. I found it unreliable.”
The wolves left about as quickly as you’d expect from people who’d just been told their kids were in mortal danger.
There was a slightly stunned silence in the car park.
“Unorthodox,” murmured al-Rashid, “but effective.”
Thomas Pryce smiled. It was kind of unpleasant. “Well played.”
Mercy curtsied flawlessly. That was kind of unpleasant as well. Then she swept to where Caradoc was lying paralysed on the ground and yanked the bit of my car out of his chest. She put back her veil. I was pretty glad I couldn’t see her expression. “I think this means you’re working for me now.”
He drew in a sharp breath, presumably out of habit. “You grasping, manipulative bitch.”
“You grasping, manipulative bitch, your Highness.”
“I will not take orders from a whore.”
“Sir Caradoc, you have known me for four hundred years. In all that time, did it not occur to you that I was never ashamed of my profession? And you will take whatever orders I will give, or I will break you.”
He rose to his feet and turned to the rest of the vampires. “This woman knows nothing of warfare. She cannot wear the mantle of Prince of Swords.”
“Can I just point out,” said Julian, “that, of the two of you, you’re the one who was just lying on the floor with a stake through his heart?”
“I fought for my people.”
Thomas Pryce sighed. “The job of a prince is not to fight, but to win. In case you have failed to notice, it is no longer the twelfth century, and the ability to swing a sharp piece of metal is no longer the most desirable quality in a leader.”
Caradoc wheeled round and gazed plaintively at Diego. “Will you stand for this?”
“I’m sorry, but I will abide by the decision of the local princes, however shortsighted.”
“If the Council has no further need of me.” Caradoc bowed stiffly and left. He seemed to have got the message. Probably for the first time in his life. Or unlife. Or whatever.
The rest of the vampires departed shortly afterwards, leaving me alone with Julian and Elise and the remains of my car.
Elise picked up a piece of shattered metal. “I fear the vehicle has suffered terribly.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of a write-off.”
“Oh no, Miss Kane, I did not believe you would discard a thing so casually.”
“It’ll cost more to fix than to replace.”
Elise turned away and I remembered, too late, that the last time she’d been to a wrecking yard she’d been, well, in it.
Shit.
I put my hand awkwardly on her shoulder. “Fine, fine, we’ll keep the car.”
“Really, Miss Kane?”
“Yes, really. Sorry I was insensitive.”
“I believe the Automobile Association would be able to help us.”
Julian crunched through the wreckage. “If you don’t mind, my dears, I’d rather we didn’t invite a collection of mortals to the site of a supernatural duel, entertaining though it would be to watch you explain how you wrecked your car in an empty car park and why so much of the bodywork has blood on it.”
Elise very slowly folded her arms. It looked kind of awkward, and I don’t think I’d ever seen her do it before. “I will not abandon the vehicle, Miss Saint-Germain.”
“Oh, for pity’s sake.” Julian put a hand to her brow. “How about I ask Ashriel to arrange something?”
“That would be very kind of you.”
Julian stalked off up the ramp, coat-tails streaming behind her.
“You okay to wait with the car?” I asked.
“Of course, Miss Kane. I will ensure it is well taken care of.”
I set off after Julian. I guessed Mercy and al-Rashid would sort out the vampire army, and it looked like war was off the menu for now, which meant that, assuming Nim did her bit and Henry Percy didn’t ascend to godhood behind my back, I was basically done. I was kind of hoping that meant I could actually spend some time with my girlfriend.
As soon as I got above ground, my phone went off.
Well, fuck. Because apparently the universe is out to cockblock me. “Kane.”
Rachel’s voice crackled over the line. “Nimue needs you at Highgate. We’ve got a situation.”
Of course they had.
I hung up just as Julian pounced on me. “Oh, sweeting, I’ve missed you. Let’s go back to my place, or your place, or any place, and fuck like the Borgias.”
“Did they fuck a lot?”
“Honestly, history has somewhat exaggerated their reputation, but the sentiment stands.”
“Well, that sounds great, but I kind of have to go.”
Julian frowned. “What could possibly be more important than me? Kate, we haven’t had sex f
or nearly a fortnight.”
“There was kind of a war in the middle.”
“War can be a powerful aphrodisiac.”
“Not if your girlfriend’s hiding in a basement somewhere and hasn’t bothered to tell you where she is.”
“Firstly, it was a very comfortable and well-appointed basement, and secondly, I tried to call you several times, but you never bothered to answer.”
Shit. “Tara sort of stood on my phone.”
“You really must learn to control your pets.”
“Look, I have to go. It’s kind of life or death.”
“Isn’t it always? Now, tell me what’s going on.”
Nim’s only instruction had been to keep the vampires away from this, but this was a vampire, not the vampires, and I’d been keeping so much back from Julian it was starting to feel unpleasantly like cheating. I sighed. “Nim’s got the pot, she’s gone to fight the Morrígan, something’s gone wrong, she needs me.”
There was a long silence.
“Thank you for telling me,” said Julian in her best I’m not angry, I’m just concerned voice.
“I need to get to Highgate, like, now.”
Julian looked up at me, grinned, and swept me into her arms.
“Oh, not this not again.”
“Sweeting, do you want to play hard to get, or do you want to get to Highgate?”
“You enjoy this way too much.”
“I enjoy everything way too much.”
She leapt into the air, taking me with her. It was kind of less romantic than last time, partially because she was moving a lot faster and partially because we were on our way to a graveyard to throw down with an ancient vampire death queen. Julian carried me over the rooftops of the weird pyramid-y housing estate I’d seen in my dream and over the wall into the Highgate Cemetery.
The moment we landed, I realised this wasn’t going to be fun. My breath caught in my throat, and I felt an icy pressure slowly tightening around my heart. I panicked out of habit, but it didn’t seem to be getting any worse, which meant I probably wasn’t going to die. Straightaway, anyway.
It looked like the rest of the place hadn’t been so lucky.
The trees were bare, the ivy withered on the graves. The ground was scattered with dead birds and dust.