That didn't mean that she felt good.
Unless a heavy ball sitting in your stomach could be interpreted that way.
If Shylah thought Eden had consumed her thoughts during their time apart, that was nothing compared to now.
Only it wasn't the sweet boyfriend Eden that she couldn't stop thinking about. It was the new Eden.
Scrunching her eyes closed, she tried to ward off the empty feeling inside of her. Her heart felt like it was fracturing more and more every time she saw him. The idea that she might have lost him was almost too much to bear.
Eden had become an integral part of her life so quickly when they were on base. He'd filled the hole in her life that she hadn't known had existed.
Now it was wide open and gaping. If she and Eden couldn't repair what was broken, it almost felt like it would have been better to have never felt that type of happiness, because then she wouldn't have known what she lost.
Turning off the water, Shylah stepped onto the mat and quickly dried off. Halting by the mirror, Shylah took a moment to study her reflection.
Ever so slowly, Shylah's fingers hovered over the scars. The one on her shoulder was small. Most wouldn't even recognize it as a bullet wound. Nerve damage that could mostly be hidden with some exercises.
It had taken months to regain the use of her left hand and wrist. The scar didn't even begin to tell the story.
Trailing her fingers down to her stomach, she traced the jagged surgery scars which entwined with the bullet wound. Surgeries that tried to save that part of her. Surgeries that failed.
Every time she saw the markings on her skin, they reminded her of what she would never have. Anger filled Shylah as she thought of what Commander Hylar did to her.
Pushing that thought down, Shylah knew that anger got you nowhere. If it wasn't for the immediate medical attention she'd received, she would be dead right now. That's what Shylah tried to focus on.
Wrapping a robe around her body, Shylah tightened the string. She had done some thinking last night. She would stay in town for a bit longer to figure out if Eden did, in fact, still love her, or if he ever had. Was their relationship salvageable?
If the answer was no, it might destroy her, but she refused to consider that until the time came.
Stepping out into the bedroom, Shylah let out a screech.
Almost falling backward, she barely saved herself with an arm on the doorframe. Scrambling to recover, she cast her angry glare at Eden.
"What the heck, Eden? Will you stop breaking in!"
Eden's eyes heated as they dropped to her body. Very aware that the robe was likely sticking to her still damp skin, she wrapped her arms around her waist self-consciously.
Seemingly unfazed, Eden remained where he stood. "You need better security here. Your apartment's too damn easy to break into."
"I have a feeling the Rolls Royce of security systems wouldn't keep you out." Keeping her gaze fixed on Eden's face, Shylah refused to be affected by his eyes on her body. "Now, can you please get out so I can get dressed."
"Why? There's nothing I haven't seen before."
"Get. Out. Before I karate your ass."
Raising his brows, Eden almost seemed like he wanted to laugh. It probably was quite comical. Eden was a million times bigger and stronger than her, but she was sick of having her privacy invaded. Maybe her rage would give her an edge?
"I'd like to see that."
Shylah pointed in the door's direction, glad when Eden eventually headed toward it. "Don't take long, or I'm coming back in, clothed or not."
Shylah's eyes narrowed at the threat.
As Eden pulled the door shut, Shylah threw on some jeans and a T-shirt quicker than she had possibly ever dressed in her life, not doubting that Eden had meant every word.
Walking out into the living space, Eden stood by the window looking out.
"What are you doing here, Eden?"
Casting his gaze onto Shylah, she noticed Eden took up a lot of the space in the little apartment. If she thought it looked small before, that was nothing compared to having a six and a half foot Eden in the place.
"I talked to the guys, and if you really uncovered the truth behind Project Arma, and are one of the good guys, we'd like you to come to Marble Protection to help us sort out this mess. Find those missing."
If she'd uncovered the truth? Shylah tried not to let the hurt at Eden's obvious lack of trust in her show.
"Will all the guys be there?" A tingle of nervousness ran down Shylah's spine.
Seven deadly former Navy SEALs hating her was not her idea of a good time.
"They will."
Damn. If Eden thought she was one of the bad guys, she could just imagine what they all thought. Probably that she was the blasted ringleader of the whole organization.
Shylah's gaze returned to Eden's. Did she really have a choice? She wanted Eden to trust her, so she had to put her big girl pants on and get down there. "I mean, I want to help—"
"Great, let's go," Eden interrupted and began walking toward the door while Shylah remained rooted to the spot.
Anger started bubbling inside her. Was this their new normal? She just followed the guy and did whatever he asked?
"So, this is us now. We're what? Acquaintances?"
Eyes softening, Eden waited by the door. "We'll go with friends for the time being."
Refusing to let him see that he was slowly shattering what small remnants of her self-esteem she had left, Shylah reached for her bag and followed Eden out of the apartment.
The ride over was quiet, Shylah kept her gaze on the passing trees and her mind off the man who seemingly hated her.
When Eden stopped out in front of what must have been Marble Protection, she glanced up at the building.
From the outside, it didn't look like much. If she'd been walking down the street, she probably would have dismissed it as an empty building.
The windows were dark so you couldn't see inside from the road.
Skeptical of the setup, Shylah climbed out of Eden's truck. Trailing behind, she followed him inside, surprised to see that it was a fully operational business.
A large mat area was to the left where a class appeared to be running, and a hall ran behind it. The setup was similar to what she'd think a martial arts gym would be. Not that she'd ever stepped foot in one of those either.
She recognized Luca and Asher out on the floor, running the class. They looked the same.
Shylah's nerves increased.
Walking up to the desk, two girls smiled at them. One was a tall redhead that looked like she belonged on a runway, and the other, a shorter green-eyed girl who was just as beautiful. Both women were gorgeous and made Shylah feel self-conscious.
At the touch of Eden's hand on her back, Shylah realized she had stopped walking once she'd stepped inside. Forcing her feet to move, she walked up to the front desk.
"Ladies, this is Shylah. She'll be helping the guys and me with something for a bit."
The redhead gave her a smile and stepped forward. "Hi, Shylah, I'm Lexie. I waste most of my life away at this front desk. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."
The smaller green-eyed lady remained where she was but also gave Shylah a smile. "I'm Evie," she said in a much softer voice. "I work out here but also do some tech stuff for the company. I'll probably be joining you today."
Shylah nodded. She wondered if by working at the company that they knew about Project Arma. Since neither woman seemed to hold anything against her, she was guessing they didn't, or they at least didn't know about her.
"Hi." Shylah smiled. Unsure what to say because she was unsure whether they'd heard about her. "I'm looking forward to getting to know you girls. Ladies. I mean, women."
Mentally slapping herself on the forehead, Shylah smiled through the awkwardness. The pressure of Eden's hand on her back pushed her forward as he moved toward the hall.
"Evie, we'll see you soon. Shylah's just going to t
alk to the guys first."
Swallowing, Shylah wanted to call out that she would stay with the smiling women but simply walked toward what felt like would be her doom.
Stepping into the office, five deadly soldiers scattered around the small space. She remembered them all.
Bodie had brown hair and eyes. She recalled that when he smiled, he had dimples that showed, though he wasn't smiling now.
Kye sat in the corner and had midnight hair and a small scar that ran across his right eyebrow. The scar had always made him appear that bit more dangerous.
Oliver leaned against the wall with his hazel eyes narrowed in her direction, while Wyatt, with his short but wavy sandy-toned hair, sat in front of his laptop.
And then there was Mason. Mason and his piercing blue eyes. Eden's closest friend. He would no doubt be judging her the hardest.
Shylah felt the strong vibe of danger that filled the room. It was like a thick cloud cover, warning people to be cautious.
Straightening her spine, Shylah refused to show any intimidation. She'd done nothing wrong. On the contrary, she'd saved their butts, so they should be thanking her.
"It's good to see you all again." Glancing around the room, she made eye contact with each man. "I'm not sure how much of a help I can be, but I'll definitely try."
"Hunter tells us you're the one who uncovered the truth behind Project Arma." Mason was the first to speak, just as Shylah had assumed he'd be.
"That's true. I overheard a conversation that made me suspicious. Did some digging and found out the truth. I contacted the authorities about it." Proud that her voice was firm, she gave herself a mental pat on the back.
"Why didn't you tell Hunter?"
Holding Mason's eye contact, Shylah knew that Eden would have told them all this. They wanted to hear it from her directly. With their abilities, they would be able to tell a lie from the truth.
"I was scared he would piss off the wrong people. Get himself killed. I knew those behind Project Arma wouldn't have any problem getting rid of anyone who jeopardized what they were doing."
"Don't you think that was his decision to make? That he had a right to know?" Wyatt piped up.
"In a way that might be true, but Eden and I developed feelings for each other quickly, and I wasn't prepared to take that chance and possibly lose him. If anyone could get the information needed without alerting the wrong people, it was me. So, I did what I had to do."
Wyatt frowned. "Do you think that was your place? To decide for him."
Hell yes.
Shylah knew that if they'd reversed positions, Eden would have done the same. "As his partner, it was my job to keep him safe, just like he would have done for me."
Shaking his head, Mason didn't seem pleased with that answer. "Eden's capable of a lot more than you are when it comes to that type of stuff."
"Exactly, so he would have raised red flags. I didn't. No one suspected anything with me, which is why I could do it."
Knowing they were trying to catch her out, she stood her ground, determined not to let them.
"Where have you been for the last fourteen months?"
Shylah's eyes flew to Oliver and narrowed. There was no way she would tell what happened that day in front of everyone. She needed to tell Eden first, in private.
"I needed to recover from it all before I saw Eden again. I also needed to stay hidden for a bit, in case the people I exposed came after me."
"I could have protected you, Shylah." Pulling her gaze from the group, the hurt in Eden's voice threw her for a moment.
"I just needed some time, Eden," Shylah said softly, eyes only for him.
"You're going to help us by looking over the information we have?" Wyatt questioned from behind the laptop, his fingers already flying over the keys.
"I'll try to help you as best I can, but I know little more than what I told the government officials I was working with."
"Anything will be better than nothing."
Shylah nodded. Wanting to do what she could for them.
As the guys filtered out of the room, Eden placed his hand on the small of her back and gently pushed her toward the laptop. Taking a seat next to Wyatt, she looked up as Evie walked in.
"Ready for me?" she asked as she entered the room and took a seat on the other side of Wyatt.
Eden smiled at Evie. It was a genuine, warm smile. One that she hadn't seen for over a year.
"Just needed you to finish the team, Ace." Eden chuckled.
A pang of jealousy shot through Shylah at Eden's soft words. He hadn't looked at her like that once. It was possible he never would again.
Swallowing the hurt, Shylah turned her gaze to the computer in front of Wyatt and focused on the screen.
"This is information from Project Arma," Wyatt said once everyone was settled. "There are a lot of names of those involved in the project. The roles and responsibilities of a lot of different people are here too. Ace hacked it for us, but it was sent from an anonymous source."
"I sent the file," Shylah said as she sat back and watched the screen.
The room went silent as all three pairs of eyes set on Shylah.
7
Eden's gut clenched. "Explain."
Shylah didn't look perturbed in the least, which only added to Eden's frustration.
"When I snuck in and stole the information on their system, there was a folder that wouldn't open. I figured it was important. I'd brought a second USB drive because I knew I wanted some information I found to go straight to you guys. So, I copied it over onto the spare and sent the encrypted document to the scientist who studied the drug for me to keep safe. I trusted her. I told her that if I didn't contact her within a few months that I would like her to send it to your private email account, Eden. I figured your military account was being monitored. Obviously, that's what happened."
Eden couldn't hold on to his anger any longer. "How fucking dangerous, Shylah. Are you stupid? I should have been the one doing that. I'm the trained SEAL, damn it, you're a nurse."
Drawing her brows together, Shylah appeared confused. "I did it for you, Eden."
Taking a step back, Eden's voice raised another notch. "Who asked you to do that? I wasn't your responsibility. Do you know what would have happened if they'd caught you? You wouldn't have saved anyone. You'd be dead!"
Rising from her chair, Shylah's voice raised in return. "Do you know what would have happened if I hadn't done it. You'd be dead." Crossing her arms, Shylah stood there like she didn't have a regret in the world. "I took my chances to save you."
Seconds away from strangling the woman, Eden ran his hands through his hair. "What if I'd done something stupid and got myself killed? How would you feel about that?" The flinch from Shylah told Eden what he needed to know. "Don't you ever do something so dangerous for me again. Got it? It's my job to protect you, not the other way around."
Needing some space, Eden spun around and left the room before Shylah could respond. Storming out the back of Marble Protection, Eden took a breath of the cool morning air, hoping that would calm the storm inside him.
Knowing that Shylah put herself into such a dangerous situation for him damn nearly tore him up inside. She could have died for him. The idea was too painful to consider.
"Don't even think about punching another window, Hunter. We're not replacing one every week to cater to your moods," Mason said while he stood by the door, arms crossed.
"Go back inside, Eagle."
"To listen to the glass shatter instead of stopping it? Not gonna happen." Stepping down, Mason watched Eden through narrowed eyes.
"She's so fucking frustrating. Why the hell would she think putting herself at risk like that would be a good decision? We should have been the ones acquiring the information. We're the trained SEALs, damn it." Scrubbing his face with his hands, Eden turned his back on Mason. "It was the wrong decision."
Keeping his voice even, Eden heard his friend take a step down. "Well, we know that, but
she thought she was doing the right thing. She must be just as hardheaded as you. Probably why the two of you like each other so damn much."
"And now she won't tell me where she's been for the last fourteen months."
It was like the woman was trying to kill him.
Nodding, Mason seemed unperturbed. "Besides forcing the truth out of her, it seems it will take time for her to open up."
Spinning around, Eden stormed up to Mason so that only a few inches separated them. "Like the last time I gave her time to tell me and then damn near lost her? I'm not fucking doing that again. I refuse to lose her like I did last time."
"But you found each other again."
Shaking his head, a ball of dread formed in Eden's stomach. "It's not the same. We're not the same."
Eden was having doubts about whether they would ever be.
Mason's gaze drifted over the yard. "We always have options, Hunter. If you're done, walk away."
That was like asking a starving man to walk away from food. Even the thought of walking away from Shylah made his heart clench.
"You know I can't do that, Eagle."
"Then we'll keep an eye on her. Wait her out. See what happens."
Clenching his jaw, Eden shared his fears with his friend. "I don't know how I'll deal with it if we don't work out, and that's a genuine possibility, I'm not the same man she started dating over a year ago."
"She's probably not the same woman."
Was that the case? Had they both changed? Could two people who had changed separately, find enough common ground to come back together?
"Come back inside, Hunter. Give her some space to work through the documents. Just take one day at a time."
Looking up at his friend, their gazes held for a few seconds. Mason knew better than anyone what Shylah's disappearance had cost him.
Nodding, Eden started moving back toward the building.
By spending the rest of the day doing paperwork, Eden avoided Shylah. He tried not to listen in to what was said inside the room.
It wasn't until Wyatt came out after lunch that he got some information on what was happening.
Eden: A steamy contemporary military romance (Project Arma Book 2) Page 5