I spend the next two weeks hanging out with Samuel when I can. I enjoy his company. He hasn’t kissed me yet, which I think is a good thing, but I’m going for that kiss before I leave. Might as well make some memory from here worth it.
No one else wants to be around him, so when I hang with Juliette or Luke, Samuel keeps his distance. I like Luke more than I thought I would. He’s a little weird, but he’s my uncle, and when we are together, he tells me stories about my mom. I miss her.
The night of the full moon, I expect to be more excited. Tonight, I’m going home. Samuel promised. But instead, I’m feeling melancholy. Maybe it’s because I’ve tried so many times to leave, and nothing ever worked, and I’m afraid that it’s going to fail again.
I head down the boardwalk, doing my best to avoid looking over the edge of the porches. I don’t need a repeat of the other day when I swear I saw eyeballs looking at me. I come out of the trees just as the sun sets, and the ghosts pop up everywhere. My heart stutters for a moment. In front of me, the two giants suddenly appear. They both give me creepy grins.
“Which one of us killed the man?”
My heart races, and I take a couple steps back. “Ex… excuse me?”
“You witnessed the kill. Samuel said you get to decide. Who gets credit for the kill?”
They leer at me, and my throat goes dry. I squeeze my eyes shut. I’m gonna kill Samuel.
I look back and forth between the men. They tower over me, their arms crossed. I have no idea which one did it. I was a little preoccupied with the knife at my own neck. I need to get down to the docks, so I make it up. “Um. I guess the one who had the head.”
The taller of the two pumps his fists in the air. The other clenches his jaw and growls at me. “That was a mistake. Next new moon, you better be hiding, missy, or you’re mine.”
“Tell that to Samuel.” I shove past them and rush to the docks. Samuel promised to meet me there, but he’s nowhere to be found. The ferry comes filled with people but still no Samuel. The air is thick with humidity, and sweat drips down my back.
I swallow and look around. Soon, the ferry disappears into the water. The waves from the wake slap against the dock. Did I miss my chance?
Samuel rushes toward me. He’s all dressed up in his elaborate suit with a top hat. He’s got dark liner around his eyes, which makes the blue stand out even more. He’s breathing hard.
“I’m so sorry I’m late. I got tied up. But we can try at the end of the night.”
“Why are you all dressed up? I thought you were getting me out of here.”
He holds his hands wide. “You know I’m the ringmaster. I can’t just abandon the circus. I’ll help you. I promise. But I can’t deny that I wanted the night with you, so maybe I didn’t try as hard as I should have to get here on time. Forgive me. It will be easier to leave when everyone else does anyway. Come, my lady, we are going to be late.”
He holds out his hand, and I take it, a little apprehensively. He kisses the back of my knuckles once again, and I blush furiously. Then, he pulls me up and tucks my hand into the crook of his elbow.
He dips his head to speak low into my ear. “The show shouldn’t take long. Then, we can visit, and I’ll have you back to the docks before sunrise.”
He leads me back to the circus, stops to get cotton candy from a stand, and hands it to me. I take a bite of the sticky sweetness. We enter the back of the main tent, and people are bustling about. Samuel points to the entryway for the show. “You can stand there after I make my entrance. It’s one of the best seats in the house. Just watch out for the elephants.” He winks.
A small balding man approaches us. “Samuel, the show’s about to start.”
Samuel extracts my hand from his elbow, and I move to where he said I should watch. He runs out into the middle of the rings to the roar of the excited crowd.
“You and Samuel, huh?”
I jump and spin around. Juliette is standing there in her clown get up. Her lips are red and too big, and her eyes bleed black. She opens her mouth to reveal razor-sharp teeth.
“Geez, Jules, you’re a walking nightmare.”
She grins and wiggles her eyebrows at me, and I look away from her creepy smile.
“So, how are things going with him?” She nods to Samuel, who is stirring the crowd up.
“Good.” I don’t tell her he’s helping me get off the island.
“Have fun tonight. I want to hear stories tomorrow.”
I nod, not trusting myself to speak. It would all be lies.
Juliette runs out with the rest of the clowns, and Samuel saunters back to me.
“My part is over. Let’s go explore the circus until it’s time to go to the docks.” He takes my hand and pulls me out of the big top. My hand tingles, and he’s quiet as we stroll down the main aisle.
Jeffrey runs up to us, breathing hard. “I’m glad I found you.” He doubles over and catches his breath. “The bearded lady is stuck again.”
Samuel rolls his eyes. “I have to take care of this. I’ll find you later.”
“Wait, what if the sun starts coming up?”
“I’ll check the docks first. We’ll get you out of here, I promise.” He dips down and gives me a kiss on the cheek. My face flushes, and he disappears into the crowd.
Someone taps me on the shoulder, and I spin around. Benny stands there glowering at me with a storm of birds behind him.
“What?” I ask and back away from him.
“Samuel’s dangerous.”
I let out a short bark of a laugh and walk away from the circus. “You’re the one who has tried to kill me. Twice.” I push past him, but he follows me anyway. I should be scared of him, but from what Lorena said, he can’t kill me tonight.
“Yeah, about that. I want to explain. It’s not something I can control.”
I walk quickly, but he manages to keep up. “That’s not true. You just want to be resurrected.”
“Look…I…well…yes. But I don’t want to kill you, doll. I like you. In a manner of speaking, I’m being forced to kill you and only you. On the last new moon, I tried very hard to stop myself, but in the end, the compulsion took over, and I didn’t have a choice. I was actually relieved the giants killed that guy since it stopped me from killing you. Even the night with Fiona. I knew she wouldn’t kill you outright, and I figured someone else would beat me. I really thought I left the cage open. I honestly have no idea how the door shut all the way.”
“Why just me?” We hit the path to the docks.
“I have no idea. It’s the first time it’s ever happened to me.”
A nagging feeling settles in my stomach. Something about this isn’t right.
I throw my hands up. “So, what? I’m just supposed to pretend that’s all okay?”
He drops his eyes. “No. But I want you to. I like you.” His voice is soft and repentant, and I almost believe him.
I let out a sigh. “Okay.” I agree, just to get him to leave me alone. I won’t be around on the next new moon for him to try to kill me again. We land on the docks, and I sit down. I’m not going anywhere but here tonight.
His face lights up. “So what should we do?”
“Tonight?”
“Yes.”
“Why would I want to hang out with you?” I glare at him. I might buy that he didn’t really want to kill me, but that doesn’t mean I trust him.
Hurt crosses his features. “You don’t?”
“Not if you are going to kill me.”
“Doll, I won’t kill you.”
“Only because it’s not the new moon. I still don’t want to hang out with you.”
Benny chuckles. I’ll never lose him in this circus. He knows his way around too well.
“Plus, I’m leaving in the morning,” I add and take a deep breath of the scent of frying foods floating over the circus.
“Haven’t we been through this already? You aren’t getting off the island.”
“Yes, I am. Samu
el is helping me.”
“Okay. Sure. The boss will let you off the island. Right.” He pauses and waits for me to respond, but I don’t. Samuel will help me. I have no doubt. Benny doesn’t know anything. He waves his hand out into the swamp. “The boat won’t be back until dawn. That’s at least another seven hours.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m waiting right here.”
“Why don’t we go catch a couple shows, and then I’ll bring you back?”
“And watch people get killed? No, thank you.”
“Let’s at least get some food then. Best elephant ears in the whole world are less than fifty feet away.”
A couple hours couldn’t hurt. Besides the fact that he’s tried to kill me twice, I kinda like Benny. Plus, I don’t really want to sit on the docks for seven hours.
“Okay, fine.”
Benny grins like he’s won something. We head back into the circus, and he orders us both an elephant ear with extra powdered sugar and two strawberry lemonades. Mom would totally disapprove.
We find a small table and sit across from Tyson’s tent. It’s not very busy tonight. I should be out there helping him, but I had planned on being gone by now.
I take a sip of my lemonade. It’s just sweet enough so that I don’t pucker, but not too sweet.
“Mmm,” I say. “This lemonade reminds me of summer.”
“On the ocean?”
“Yeah. There’s a little stand by my favorite beach that I love. He makes any flavor I want. Blueberry is my favorite, but strawberry is a close second.”
“I’ve never had blueberry lemonade.”
“Then, you are missing out.” I remember the late nights on the beach with Maddie, and my chest tightens. I want to go home.
He chuckles. “Probably.”
We only eat half of the elephant ear, and he feeds the other half to his birds. I people-watch a bit. Not the guests, but the workers. I know which ones are ghosts and which ones are islanders. The ghosts seem happier.
Jeffrey comes running up to Benny, his arms full with a couple dozen red roses. Benny’s eyes light up. “How did you manage this?” He takes the flowers from Jeffrey.
“I don’t know. Mama got them and said to give them to you.”
“Thanks, kid.” He grabs another cotton candy and hands it to Jeffrey.
“What are those for?” I ask.
“I’ll show you.” He pulls a rose out and gives it to the girl making lemonade. She takes it from him, and a smile forms on her lips. We wander among the tents. Benny gives roses to all the women who live here full time. A few blush when he hands it to them. Juliette squeals and kisses him on the cheek.
He gives the second-to-last one to Ruth, who cackles and buries her nose in the flower. He gives me the last one.
“Why?” I ask.
Benny sighs. “I already told you that I people watch a lot. Most people spend too much time being sad. Flowers almost always make women happy. So I asked Amy if she could get her hands on some roses. It’s why I give Jeffrey cotton candy and airplane rides. It doesn’t take much to make people happy.”
I don’t know what to think of Benny. He tried to kill me, but maybe it’s not really his fault. Most people don’t consider other people’s happiness unless they are happy first.
We wander back toward the docks, and I see those kids that have been here every night, the lice girl and her buddies. I point them out.
“I see them every night. Why would they keep coming back all the time?” It’s not like there are new acts or anything.
Benny shakes his head. “The circus has a few groupies who come every time. They seem to like the macabre.”
“They look homeless or like drug addicts.”
“They probably are one or the other. Do you think an attraction to this kind of thing is normal? I’m only here because I can’t go anywhere else.”
I stare at him for a moment. He had a life before he got stuck here just like I have a life to get back to in California.
“How long have you been here?” I ask.
“A long time.”
“Tell me who you were when you were alive.” I’m suddenly curious about his past, who he was, and how he got here.
“I was born in 1928 in Chicago. My father was a gangster.”
We hit the docks, and we sit on the rough wood. He tells me about his life that seems so foreign, and after a while, silence descends. It’s not a horrible silence, though. I can hear the water hitting the side of the dock and Benny’s even breath.
“You’re breathing. You can’t be a ghost.”
He chuckles. “I’m basically human during the full and new moons. If I stop breathing, I’ll pass out just like you.”
I lean back, resting on my hands, and he does the same, his fingers pressing into mine. I move my hand. I might like him a little, but not really like that. Right now, my heart yearns for Samuel. Which is dumb because after tonight, I’m never gonna see him again.
“So, Mr. Ghostman, tell me how you ended up here.”
He sighs. “Pops didn’t really want me involved in that life, but I made my bones against his wishes. I fenced swag for a while. Then Pops went away. He was involved in a barrel murder, and someone ratted him out. It created an opening in the books, and I was able to move up.”
“What’s a barrel murder, and where did your dad go?”
“It’s where you pop someone and stuff them in a barrel, and he went to prison.”
“Oh.” He speaks of violence and prison so casually. It’s such a different world than the one I live in.
He takes his knife out and carves into the wood on the dock. That’s the knife he nearly killed me with.
“I made sure I got the contract on the rat and took him for a ride. The snitch, he died buckwheats. Then I put him in a cement coffin. The boss was impressed, and I became a hitman. I went after deadbeats. I never carried a piece. Just this.” He holds up the knife.
My mind spins, his words not making sense. “What the heck does buckwheats mean?”
Benny looks down at me and squirms. “I tortured him first. It was a slow death. Do you need more details?”
I swallow. “No.”
Benny jumps right back into his story. “I became close with the boss, and he sent me to case a few joints in New Orleans. There was a gaming house near the river, and I met a woman who reminds me a lot of you. She was beautiful and intriguing. She lured me out to the island and popped me.”
I don’t know what to say, and Benny goes quiet.
After a while, he asks me questions about my life, and the time passes quickly.
Light begins to creep up over the trees, and people file out onto the docks. The ferry comes, and I stand. Samuel is nowhere in sight.
“I told you he wasn’t going to help you.”
“Save it, Mr. Know-it-all.”
I don’t bother to rush the boat. I know it won’t do any good anymore. I watch as the circus goers all get back on the ferry, and it disappears. My stomach sinks, and I have no idea what to think. Samuel promised to help me, and he didn’t.
Benny stays right by my side. As soon as the sun is fully up in the sky, he vanishes. I sink on the dock and try not to cry.
Footsteps pound on the deck, and I don’t turn around. Samuel crouches down in front of me. “I’m so sorry. Getting the bearded lady unstuck is a process.”
“I’m calling bull. That was a long time ago.” I don’t look at him. “Seems like she’d just disappear as soon as the sun came up anyway.”
“She’s alive.”
“Whatever.”
I pick at my fingernails. My heart wants to believe he’s being sincere, but my head is telling me a different story. I’m so confused.
Samuel places a finger under my chin and lifts my face so I’m looking right in his eyes.
“Look on the bright side. We get to spend another two weeks together.”
I jerk away from him and jump up, finally accepting that he’s not who
I thought he was. “You did this on purpose. You wanted me to stay, so you made sure you didn’t make it to the docks. Were you ever going to help me, or was it all some farce?”
He shakes his head. “It was an accident.”
“I don’t believe you. Stay away from me. The next time we see each other, I want it to be on these docks before the ferry arrives on the new moon.” I should’ve known better than to trust anyone.
“Callie, you’re being unfair.” His voice cracks, but I’m not buying it.
I shake my head and back away from him. “You planned it this way. Everyone warned me, but I didn’t listen. To think, I actually liked you.” I think about everything that happened last night. “Wait. Benny said something about being forced to kill me and only me. Did you have something to do with that?”
He grips my hands. “No. Of course not.”
“But you’re in charge.”
“That’s true. But Benny’s lying to you. He can kill whoever he likes.” His eyes bore into mine with absolute sincerity, but I know better.
“You’re lying, too.” Samuel has done nothing but lie to me since I arrived.
He lets out a breath. “So maybe I didn’t rush back to the docks. I don’t know how to tell you what you’ve done to me, Callie.” He stares into my eyes as if he’s gauging whether he should continue. “This will sound very forward of me. But it is rare for me to have real feelings for a woman, and you have awakened something in me. I want you here, not California.”
I rip my hands from his. “You can’t keep me trapped here. I may have liked you before, but not anymore. You’re keeping me here on purpose. Please just let me go home,” I beg.
His face twists. “Don’t you see? I can’t do that because then I’d never see you again.”
My chest tightens, and I have to resist the urge to flee. I really thought he was a good guy. I was wrong.
“You won’t see me here. What difference does it make?” My muscles quiver. I’m itching to slap him right across the face.
He closes the distance between us. His face is twisted and angry, and his fists are clenched. “I will have you.”
Circus of the Dead: Book 1 Page 13