by Sarah Bale
He grins. “I’m no poet laureate, but I speak from the heart.”
He pulls his tattered notebook from his back pocket. I make a mental note to look for notebooks when we scavenge.
“This is called To the Girl I Left Behind:
To the girl I left behind,
I’m sorry we’ll never say goodbye.
We met when the world was ending.
And our love had no choice but to die.
I still see your face at night.
How cruel fate was to leave us entwined.
As I wonder what could have been,
With the girl I left behind.”
His cheeks flush as he sits. Now he’s the one being modest. He has a way with words.
“Noah, that was great! Can I ask what inspired it?”
“I think I told you once that our group had just returned from a mission overseas when the outbreak began, right?”
I nod. “Yeah. You said you were only supposed to be in the States for a week or so.”
“Well, the guys and I went out one night and I met this girl who… well, she rocked my world to be honest. Our last night together was the same night our group got word that something was happening across the country. So, I ended it with her.” He frowns. “I wonder what happened to her after I left. Did I put her in harm’s way by not bringing her along?”
I say, “You can’t think that way.”
“It’s hard not to. Heck, that’s why Dave brought you when he found you. I overheard him telling Jeff that he didn’t want to think about what would have happened to you if he hadn’t.”
I’m not sure how I feel about that. On one hand, it means he cares. On the other, it means he didn’t think I could take care of myself, which might have been true at the time.
I say, “I’m glad he brought me along, for the most part.”
“Why do you run then?”
I blink. No one’s ever asked me that before. Not outright. Probably because I push them away when they try to get too close.
I say, “I’ve never had anyone looking out for me my entire life. When I run and Dave brings me back, it makes me feel wanted.”
It’s weird to say that out loud. But, it’s the truth. Believe me, I’ve tried to analyze this and came up empty handed on reasons.
“That makes sense.” He looks out the window and laughs. “Harper’s giving me the stink eye. I guess we should wrap this up so the others can come in for seconds.”
I smile. “Noah, I had a great time tonight. We’ll have to do this again.”
He reaches across the table. “I’d like that, Nikki. Thank you.”
He gets up and tells the others they can come in. While I don’t have wild romantic feelings for Noah, it’s nice talking to him.
Jeff comes to my side and squats. “Have a nice dinner?”
My heart beats faster. “I did.”
“I was thinking that if we stay in this area that we can take a walk to the creek for our date tomorrow. You know, nothing major, but nice.”
I smile. “That sounds good to me.”
He stares at me and I find myself leaning into him. His tongue moistens his lips, luring me in even more. Someone clears their throat and Jeff jerks back.
“Well, I’d better grab some grub before it’s gone.”
I nod. When he’s gone, I meet Dave’s gaze. I’m fairly certain he was the one who cleared his throat. But why? Was he jealous? I’m not going to lie – I kind of like the idea.
Standing, I go to fill my plate, too. I’ve learned this rule the hard way and I won’t make the same mistake again.
Rule 4: Never waste a good meal – you never know when you might eat again.
Five
Jeff
We spend the night in the old restaurant. It’s cozy and the tablecloths make decent beds. Nikki still sleeps away from everyone. It may be my imagination, but I feel like she’s a bit closer, though.
Dave taps my foot with his. “Stop ogling her.”
I grin. “Stop acting like you have a real chance with her.”
Rocco adds, “Yeah. Her agreeing to go on a date with you is just a pity thing.”
Dave glares and goes outside. He’s on first watch, but I wonder if Rocco struck a nerve. Noah is already asleep, looking more relaxed than he has since I’ve met him.
Harper notices and says, “Wonder if he went and jacked off after their date.”
This makes me snort. “Does he even know how?”
Rocco surprises me by saying, “Leave the kid alone. He had a good day. We should all be so lucky.”
He’s right. Sometimes surviving isn’t enough. You have to have a reason to keep going. And Nikki was that reason for Noah tonight.
Rocco asks in a low tone, “Dude, do you have any condoms?”
I roll my eyes. “And you’re back to being a dick.”
“I’m not being a dick, I’m being smart. One of us is bound to hook up with her at some point. Just want to make sure everyone is being safe.”
Harper replies, “First, just because Nikki agreed to the dates doesn’t mean she’s going to sleep with one of us. Second, if she does, it’s her choice.”
There’s fire in his blue eyes as he finishes speaking.
I say, “I agree with Harper on this one, man.”
Rocco shakes his head. “Well, for the record, I have some extra rubbers that aren’t expired. If anyone needs them.”
Harper asks, “How can that be a priority to you in the fucking apocalypse?”
“Because I’ve been the unwanted child! I wouldn’t put anyone through that, especially not during the fucking apocalypse!”
His voice raises and Harper and I both shush him.
“Sorry. Sore subject.”
I reply, “We can tell.”
He sighs. “My mom was fifteen when she got knocked up with me. Had no idea who the father was. She tried to keep me, but just couldn’t do it. Ended up in the system, bouncing from home to home.”
“Sorry man. I had no idea.”
He shrugs. “I don’t like to talk about it, but it’s been on my mind the past few days.” His voice lowers. “I know that these dates don’t mean Nikki is going to hook up with one of us, but I think she’ll eventually like one of us more than the rest.”
Harper says, “Rocco, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. No sense in stressing over it.”
I look across the room at Nikki. Rocco is right – odds are that Nikki will end up falling for one of us. For the first time in longer than I can remember, I hope I’m the one she chooses. All my life I’ve been okay with doing my own thing. If someone didn’t like me, then fuck them. But with Nikki… it’s different. She keeps a wall up, but when we talk I feel like I’ve known her all my life. She’s the kind of girl my mom would’ve loved, too.
Harper yawns. “Better get some sleep, Jeff. Your shift will be here before you know.”
He’s right. Sighing, I close my eyes, letting my thoughts drift until I finally doze off.
Morning comes too soon and I grumble as I take the last watch. Noah salutes me as I pass. The air is cool and crisp as I inhale. Before, I used to love taking morning jogs in weather like this. I would pound across the pavement until sweat dripped down my back and it hurt to inhale, but I loved every moment of it. Now, it’s too dangerous to take off for a leisurely jog.
The sky is turning light shades of pink and purple as sunrise approaches. I reach in my pocket, pulling out what’s left of my last cigar. God. That’s one thing I miss. Every time we scavenge, I look for a box of Cubans, but haven’t had any luck yet. The guys all give me a hard time about saving the cigar, but I’ll know when it’s time to smoke it.
My thoughts drift back to Nikki, as they tend to do. She’s such a trooper, even if she doesn’t realize it. Hell, when the apocalypse began she impressed the hell out of me.
We took the stairs down to the first floor. I was in the back making sure no one came up behind us. Smoke linge
red in the air and I wondered if part of the hotel was on fire.
Dave said, “Kitchen is to the right at the end of the hall. Stay sharp.”
We were in stealth mode, but Nikki looked scared. Noah gave her a reassuring smile as we entered the first floor. Kind of made me wish I was the one making her feel at ease. People screamed from the dining room and rushed out. Some were covered in fresh blood.
“Oh god. There’s one of those monsters in there!” a woman screamed as she passed.
Dave said to us, “Stick to our mission.”
That meant we weren’t going to help these people. As we passed the dining room, a biter took down an older lady. She reminded me of my grandmother, but I shoved the thought away. That was the sort of thing that would get you fucking killed.
We entered the kitchen, which was even more chaotic. Apparently, we weren’t the only ones who’d thought to raid the pantry. A massive man stood in front of the pantry door with a butcher knife in his hand.
“Everyone get the fuck out of my kitchen.” His loud voice carried and everyone froze.
A short man in a business suit sneered. “You can’t tell us what to do. This hotel is officially under martial law.”
What in the fuck? This man had no right to invoke martial law. If anything, we should be the ones doing it.
The cook lifted a dark eyebrow. “Really homie? You want to play that game?”
Two more massive men joined his side with knives of their own. The crowd grew uneasy, as they should.
Dave held up his hands. “Everyone needs to calm down.”
The short man asked, “Who the fuck are you? Our mom?”
Rocco snorted. “Shit. This guy has a death wish.”
People began to bicker amongst themselves and I could see this wasn’t going anywhere. Crossing the room, I grabbed the short man by the collar.
“Get the fuck out of here before I show you what martial law really is.”
The man actually whimpered. “I just wanted some food. The world’s gone crazy and there’s no telling how long this is going to last.”
“Not my fucking problem. Get out of here. Now. Before I change my mind.”
When I let go of the man, he fled from the room. Several people followed him.
The cook said, “Thank you for that, but you’re not getting the food, either.”
I caught Dave’s eye. He nodded once, which meant he was thinking the same thing. We were going to have to rush the door. Hopefully these guys were all talk and didn’t know how to use their knives. I turned, giving Harper the look.
Nikki pushed her way to the front of our group and the men looked her up and down in appreciation. I wanted to pull her back, where she was safe.
“Hi. My name is Nikki.”
The cook nodded. “I’m Avery. That’s Joey and Joseph.”
She said, “Look. We don’t want all of your food. But is there any way you can spare enough to last us a few days?”
He eyed her. “Where you headed?”
“We’re going to the Army base.”
“That’s a good ninety miles away, if you’re lucky. Our dad had a hard time getting us here with all the people fleeing the city.”
That was actually some helpful information.
Nikki’s nose crinkled. “I wonder how the backroads are?”
Avery replied, “Might be possible.”
She said, “What if we make a deal? You let us take some food and the three of you can come with us to the base.”
Avery turned to Joey and Joseph, who shrugged.
He replied, “Our dad is here, too. He’s elderly.”
That was also probably code that their dad was sick.
Nikki nodded. “Of course he can come.”
“What kind of ride are you in?”
Nikki turned to Dave, who said, “We’re in a car.”
Avery snorted. “Figures. I have a truck. One of you can fit inside. The rest will have to sit in the back.”
He looked at Nikki like she might be his new favorite toy, so it was obvious who he wanted to sit inside.
Dave said, “Deal. Let’s load up the food.”
Joey went around the corner, coming back with a wheeled cart. Avery unlocked the storage room and we stared at the massive food supply.
Avery grinned. “There was supposed to be a surprise wedding reception here tonight. Guess the wedding didn’t happen.”
I’m not sure if I imagined it, but Nikki swayed on her feet.
I almost asked if she was okay, but she lifted her chin and said, “Let’s get this stuff loaded into the truck.”
It hit me then. Nikki was wearing a wedding dress when Dave brought her to the hotel. Was this surprise reception supposed to be hers? The thought did something funny to my gut.
Dave poked me. “Come on. The sooner we load this shit, the sooner we’ll hit the road.”
The sound of the door to the restaurant closing jars me from my thoughts. Nikki smiles as she joins me.
“You looked like you were a million miles away.”
“Just thinking about the day we met.”
Her smile falters. “Feels like forever ago.”
I ask, “Regret staying with us?”
For some reason her answer is important to me.
Nikki
“Regret staying with us?” Jeff asks as he looks down at me, running his fingers through his salt and pepper colored hair.
His full lips catch my attention and I’m momentarily distracted.
I think for a moment. “Regret isn’t the right word. Do I wish we’d done a few things differently? Yes.”
“Like what?”
“Like going to my apartment for my pets. I know it’s dumb to hold onto that after all these years.”
He shakes his head. “It’s not dumb at all. I never had any pets because I never knew when I’d be deployed, but my mom had a few cats. Sometimes I think she loved them more than me.”
I grin. “I’m sure that’s not true.”
He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his wallet. I’ve never noticed it there before. It surprises me that he still has it. Opening the weathered leather, he removes a small photo and hands it to me. An older, female version of Jeff smiles back, with the same dark hazel eyes and hair. In her arms are two cats wearing sweaters that match her own.
A laugh escapes my mouth before I can stop it. “That’s… cute.”
“You’re being too nice. It’s fucking crazy. When I moved out, the cats got my room. Any time I’d visit, I’d have to sleep on the couch.” He smiles. “I’m certain that my mom made sure her babies were taken care of when the world went to shit.”
I giggle. “Poor Jeffie.”
My lips snap shut. Why did I call him that?
His gaze lands on my lips. “Jeffie. I like it.” He puts the photo back in his wallet and asks, “What time would you like to go on our date?”
The sun is rising, giving everything a soft golden glow. But, it’s still chilly out.
“What about around noon?”
“Works for me.” He gives me a grin. “Better get inside. I have to finish my rounds.”
I get the feeling he needs time to process everything that’s happened this morning because I’m feeling the same way. A biter stumbles onto the road a few feet from Jeff. My heart pounds, but he takes it down in one strike. Grinning at me, he cleans his blade before strolling away.
I go back inside. Harper is going to the kitchen, so I follow him.
He says, “Going to see what I can throw together for breakfast.”
“Need any help?”
“That would be nice.”
I follow him into the storeroom. Noah is right. It’s a miracle that no one found this place and raided it. Harper goes to a shelf, pulling down a bag of dehydrated potatoes.
“See if there’s any dried onion on the spice rack.”
I rummage through the spices, finding garlic and onion.
“Found some,
but they’re expired.”
He laughs. “I can make it work as long as there aren’t any bugs in it.”
He goes to the sink, turning it on. The water surprisingly comes out.
He says, “We discovered this little gem last night. Cold water works, but no hot.”
“That’s still awesome. I wondered how you were able to make pasta last night.”
He fills a pan with water, putting it on the stove to boil. While he waits, he opens the potatoes.
“In another life I’d make fresh hash browns, but this will have to do.”
“Have you always liked to cook?”
“Yeah. Came in handy during the Army. I’d be able to whip up some comfort food for the boys when we were out of the country.”
“That’s really nice.”
“What about you? Know your way around a kitchen?”
I shake my head. “Probably not as good as you. My best friend was the one who liked to cook. I was just moral support.”
The thought of Skeeter makes me frown.
“It’s funny how our old lives creep up on us, isn’t it?”
I ask, “What do you think about?”
He stirs the spices into the potatoes and adds water. “Me? I think about trivial things mostly. Pizza and beer. Going to the store to grab shit I need. That sort of stuff.”
“Isn’t there anyone you think about?”
He shakes his head. “Nope.”
I can almost feel the wall he’s just put up.
“It’s okay, Harper. We all have someone that we miss.” I say, “I’m going to look around the restaurant.”
What I’m really doing is giving him some space. He nods as I leave the kitchen.
The building is fairly small. I open a door and find a utility closet. There’s a ladder attached to the wall, leading to the roof. I climb up, opening the hatch door. I’m about to step through when a hand touches my hip. Gasping, I look and find Dave a few steps beneath me.
“Holy shit. I didn’t even hear you climb.”
He grins. “I was in Special Ops. I would hope not.”
“Why are you up here?”
His hand is still on my hip and it’s hard to ignore.