by Sarah Bale
He asks, “Ever wish you could go back and do it all over?”
“Sometimes. But if I did it all over, I probably wouldn’t have met the five of you and that would be really sad.”
“Are you saying you’d miss us?”
I nod. “I think I am.”
I honestly can’t imagine my life without them in it. Even with the way Dave annoys me, I’d still miss him.
He asks, “What changed this week to make you want to open up to us?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Well, something happened. For the last few years you’ve treated us like the enemy. When the kid asked you out and you said yes, I thought I’d heard wrong.”
I reply, “I never thought of you as the enemy. But, I felt like no one was listening to me when I said I wanted to leave or when I asked to be left in Boston.”
His eyes cloud over at the mention of Boston.
“I’m not sure if Dave ever said anything, but we were planning on leaving you in Boston. Until Avery, Joey, and Joseph died. That changed everything.”
I feel sick at the thought of the three brothers who’d helped us so much in the very beginning. He’s right, the moment they got bit and died, everything changed. Dave became more intense. The others followed his lead. And I did everything in my power to go against him.
Rocco goes on, “After they got bit Dave decided you should come with us. Unfortunately he doesn’t always convey his thought process. He barks and expects people to obey.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “I – I never knew that.”
He says, “Never gave us the chance to tell you, either.”
He’s right. I’ve spent the last few years pushing them away and running, even when I didn’t really want to leave.
“I guess what it boils down to is I don’t want to get hurt.” I smile as my eyes mist over. “My family died young, leaving me alone. My best friend died at my would-be wedding. My fiancé cheated on me, which led to his death. People I care about tend to go and I’m left behind.”
He pulls me into an embrace, wrapping his strong arms around me. My head rests on his chest like it’s the most natural thing in the world. His heartbeat is steady. Calm. Soothing.
When he speaks, his voice rumbles in his chest against my ear. “I can’t promise that we’ll always be together, Nikki, but I’ll do my best to make sure you’re never left alone.”
I don’t reply. If I do, I’ll cry. Instead, I let him hold me in the abandoned park. It’s kind of poetic, really. Two people who’ve been thrown away, holding onto each other in a forgotten place.
Rule 6: Know when it’s time to start a new chapter in life.
Seven
Harper
I glance out the window. Dave is looking down the empty street in the direction Nikki and Rocco went. He’s been in the same spot for a few hours now, as if his gaze will summon them back to the restaurant. Dude has it bad for Nikki.
Jeff says in a low tone, “He’d go after them if he knew what Rocco was saying last night.”
“What did Rocco say?” Noah asks.
I grin. “You’re too young. Don’t want to corrupt your virgin ears.”
“Whatever man. I’m the same age as Nikki.”
That’s actually hard to believe at times. Sometimes Nikki feels like she’s my age, which is closer to forty than I care to admit. It’s that haunted look in her eyes that makes her seem older than her actual age. She’s seen things in her life that have stuck with her. I can relate.
I say to Noah, “Come on. You can help me figure out what we can carry in our packs.”
I guess Dave is seriously going to have us ride bicycles tomorrow. Anything to get what he wants. Shaking my head, I go to the storeroom. Noah goes to the canned meats, which are smaller, packing them in a bag.
“Don’t get too many. We won’t be able to carry them all and balance.”
He says, “Too bad we don’t have a cart with wheels like the one back in Boston. Now that would come in handy.”
I nod my head in agreement. Going to the canned veggies, I grab a few that will be good in a stew.
“Pack any beans that you find. Canned or dry.”
Noah’s nose crinkles. “I hate beans.”
“They’re full of protein. And since we don’t have any MREs left-”
As much as I hated the MREs while deployed, they sure came in handy after the outbreak. But those days are long gone. Now it’s making use of whatever we find. Nikki is right about settling down. We can’t run forever. We need roots somewhere so we can grow and stop scavenging.
Noah asks, “Where did Rocco find the bikes?”
Jeff says, “He said he found them down the street.”
“Did he say if there happened to be any bicycle trailers?”
Jeff’s face goes blank. “Any what?”
“The thing people put their kids in so they can take them on bike rides.”
“Oh. I’m not sure.”
I say, “Let’s go look.”
When we get there, Noah lets out a cheer. Sure enough there are two bike trailers sitting next to the bikes.
I point. “Let’s take them back. We can load them up with food.”
Jeff slaps Noah on the back. “Good thinking, kid.”
Noah’s ears turn pink at the praise. “No big deal. My folks used to take me around in one of these when I was like four. Sometimes my mom would stop and get groceries, too.”
I say, “I used to see people using them in the parks. Seem efficient and keeps kids occupied.”
We make our way back to the restaurant. A lone biter stumbles from the woods, snapping its teeth together when it gets a whiff of us.
Jeff pulls his knife from his belt. “On it.”
He takes it down without any problem. When we get to the restaurant, Nikki and Rocco are back, sitting at one of the tables together. Rocco takes her hand and a streak of envy shoots through my veins.
Jeff bumps into me and says, “You’ll get your chance.”
Dave comes over, asking, “What’s this?”
“The kid had a good idea. We’re going to load them down with canned foods.”
Rocco asks across the room, “What are they?”
“Bike trailers. Can’t believe you missed them when you saw the bicycles.”
He shrugs. “Honest mistake.”
Dave asks, “Need help loading them?”
“No, I think I got it.”
Dave replies, “I’m going to take first watch. I need to clear my head.”
He probably doesn’t even realize he looks at Nikki right before he leaves. The others get ready to settle in for the night. I’m too wound up to sleep, so I take one of the trailers into the storeroom, loading it. By my guess, each trailer can hold the weight of two small kids, so maybe ninety pounds. One hundred, if I’m lucky. Not as much as I’d like, but better than shoving our bags full of cans.
By the time I’m finished Dave is back and Rocco takes the next shift. I settle onto the floor, noticing how close Nikki is. It’s about damn time.
I’m sleeping peacefully when Noah taps me on the shoulder.
“You’re up.”
Yawning, I say, “Thanks.”
“Nothing to report, other than a few biters. Didn’t take them down. Wasn’t worth the risk.”
I nod and slip on my boots. When I go I outside, I shiver. The air is cooler than I expected and I lost my good coat last winter after an encounter with another group. I make my way down the street. There’s just enough light that I can see where I’m going, which is good.
Nikki and our date cross my mind. Where in the fuck do you take someone on a date in the apocalypse? Jeff and Rocco and even the kid had good ideas, but I don’t want to copy them. And Dave is going to want to head out of town by midmorning.
Ahead, I see the dead-end sign. Birds chirp loudly somewhere in the distance, which is unusual at this time of day. I follow the sound. When I see the source of the commotio
n I grin. Today is going to be a good damn day.
Nikki
I’ve just woken up when Harper enters the restaurant. His blonde hair glows in the morning light, making him look angelic. He comes to my side, squatting.
“Want to go on our date before we head out?”
I glance over his shoulder, where Dave is still sleeping.
“Yes.”
Quietly, I put on my boots. He hands me a long sleeve button-up shirt and I slip it on. Outside, I shiver in the morning air.
“Thanks. I would have frozen.”
He replies, “It’s warmed up a bit since I’ve been out.”
“I wish Dave would let me take a watch.”
I’d asked before, always getting the same answer from Dave. He didn’t seem to think I was capable.
“I agree with Dave on this one. It’d be different if we went out in groups.”
“That’s kind of sexist.”
He gives me a look. “No. It’s not. I’ve seen what men do to women in war.”
“This isn’t a war, though.”
“It’s damn close to one.”
I can tell the subject bothers him, so I say, “Now I’m curious. I thought this was a dead-end road.”
That’s what the sign proclaims, at least.
“It is. Found it this morning during my patrol. Bird wouldn’t stop chirping and gave up this gem.” He points ahead to some bushes. “It’s raspberry bushes.”
“Shut up!” I rush ahead.
Sure enough, the bushes are full of tiny raspberries.
“Some of them aren’t ripe yet, but I bet we can pack away some to have as treats.”
I pluck one off the bush, popping it into my mouth. Juice explodes on my tongue with a dash of sour. It’s perfect.
I sigh. “If I had iced tea, I’d add the berries to it.”
He pulls a brown paper sack from his pocket and we get to work on gathering.
“I’d mix them with yogurt and granola.” At my look, he laughs. “It’s one of my favorite treats.”
“Ice cream I can understand, but yogurt? No thanks.”
“Let me guess, the only yogurt you like is frozen.”
“Whoa! How did you know?”
We grin at each other.
“You surprise me, Harper.”
His eyebrows lift. “How so?”
“I always got the vibe that you were more like Rocco.”
He groans. “So you thought I was some kind of horny bastard?”
I laugh. “Maybe a little.”
“Well, I’ve been called a bastard and horny before, so maybe you’re not far off.”
The air changes as he looks at me and I become super aware of everything around us. The cool air. The birds. It’s almost like when Jeff kissed me. And, the crazy thing is I kind of want Harper to kiss me.
His gaze lands on my lips and he smiles. “What are you thinking right now?”
I moisten my lips. “The truth?”
“Always.”
“I want to kiss you.”
He exhales. “I’d like that.”
Leaning forward, I brush my mouth against him. He actually groans and pulls me closer.
I say against his lips, “You smell sweet. I wonder if you taste the same way.”
Deepening the kiss, I explore the recesses of his mouth until I’m burning for more. His hand roams beneath my shirt. Goosebumps rise on my skin when he skims the underside of my breast and a moan leaves my lips.
He pulls back, panting. “Nikki, we should stop. If we go further, I’m not sure I’ll be able to control myself. And I don’t want you to regret moving too fast.”
The tent in his pants is proof and desire washes over me. It’s been more than two years since I’ve been with a man and my body is screaming for me to reach out and push him over the edge. But, he’s right. This is happening too fast.
I say, “We should get back.”
I start to leave, but he stops me.
“Nikki, don’t think I don’t want this. I do. I just don’t want to ruin it by rushing.”
I smile. “I know, Harper. I feel the same way.”
He grins. “Maybe I’m more like Rocco than I know.”
I can’t help but to reply, “I didn’t kiss Rocco.”
“Oh? What about Jeff or Noah?”
My cheeks feel warm. “Jeff and I kissed.” I pause. “Does that make me sound bad by admitting that?”
“Why would it?”
“Because I made out with your friend yesterday and today I made out with you.”
He grins. “Keep talking like that and I’m going to make out with you some more.”
“I’m serious. When I agreed to go on a date with each of you I didn’t really think anything was going to happen. I was mostly tired of being alone.”
He takes my hand and brings it to his lips, planting a kiss on my knuckles.
“Nikki, no one thought you agreed to the dates to get something. I think we all understand being lonely.”
I think back to my conversation with Rocco.
I admit, “I asked Rocco for a condom.”
Harper laughs so loudly that birds fly from the bushes. “That so? Damn, I wish I could have seen the look on his face.”
I giggle, too. “It was pretty funny.” I go on, “I didn’t ask for one because I plan on hooking up with anyone, but it’s good to have it, right?”
“Yeah. He was talking about it the other night. We gave him a hard time, but he has a point.”
I sigh. “Here’s the thing. I’ve enjoyed my dates with each of you. And Rocco is right. At some point I might hook up with someone.” I swallow. “Or two.”
He gives me the look that makes my knees weak and replies, “And if that happens it will be okay.”
“But won’t it be weird for everyone?”
“Not necessarily. I probably shouldn’t say this, but Jeff and Rocco have shared a woman in the past. And, we’ve all dated the same woman before.”
I raise my eyebrows. “But at the same time?”
“Like an orgy?” His eyes twinkle. “Damn, I’m really liking the sound of this.”
I slap his arm. “Not an orgy. But dated the same woman at the same time.”
I hate how hot and bothered mentioning an orgy makes me. Good lord, it’s been way too long!
He says, “Not at the same time, no.”
I sigh. “I just don’t want things to get weird.”
“It won’t, Nikki. I promise.”
He pulls me into a hug, that leads to more kissing. When he pulls away his lips are swollen. I brush the pad of my thumb over his mouth.
“They’re going to know what we’ve been up to.”
“They won’t mind.” He amends, “Well, Dave will have something to say.”
I snort. “You’re right about that.”
“I told you – he treats you the way he does because he’s hot for you. Not that I can blame him.”
The look he gives me makes different parts of my body come to life.
He plants a tantalizing kiss at the hollow of my neck. “Come on, pretty lady. We need to get back or I’m going to fuck you out here in the middle of nowhere.”
I laugh. “What if I want that?”
He shakes his head. “You deserve a bed the first time we make love, Nikki.”
I wonder if he even realizes he went from saying fucking to making love? Either way, I’m excited to see where things go with Harper.
Hand-in-hand, we make our way back to the restaurant. The others are waiting outside. Dave, per usual, is glaring.
Harper asks, “We ready to head out?”
“Just waiting for the two of you to get back.”
He won’t even look at me now. I bite back a smile as I get on my bicycle. Without a word, Dave takes off and we follow. In a million years, I never imagined I’d be riding a bike as transportation in the apocalypse. But, life has a funny way of keeping you on your toes. As we leave the town, I laugh at the
name. Loveland.
Rule 7: Always be honest.
Pro-Tip: Especially while kissing a hot guy. You never know where that honesty will take you.
Eight
Dave
I do my best to ignore the fuckers behind me, mainly Nikki. My foot slips on the pedal and I curse. I’ve been in a foul mood ever since I found out about these fucking dates. And, if the look on Nikki’s face was any indication, she had a good time with Harper. Lucky bastard.
Jeff rides up next to me. “The others are falling behind.”
We’ve been traveling for a few hours, taking turns on the bikes with the trailers. We’re making more progress than if we were on foot.
Glancing over my shoulder, I see that he is right. I come to a stop, waiting for everyone to catch up. I’m surprised to see Nikki on one of the bikes with the trailer. I didn’t know she’d got on one or else I would have told her not to.
She must sense my train of thought because she pants out, “Don’t even say it. I’m just as able to do this as anyone else.”
Noah pulls up next to her, breathing heavily. “She’s doing better than me.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s not saying much.”
Rocco says, “Next city is in ten miles. Everyone think they can do that?”
Everyone agrees and we take off. Two biters are on the road ahead, but they’re not worth killing. Instead, we ride past them. Rocco kicks one down as he passes and I shake my head.
“Don’t get cocky, Rocco.”
“Cocky is my middle name.”
Nikki laughs. “I thought it was condom.”
He belts out a laugh and I’m a little jealous - and concerned - at their inside joke. Condom? What in the actual fuck. When the others laugh, I know I’ve been left out of something and it stings.
We reach the city about an hour later. It’s well after noon by this point. This city is bigger than the last few we’ve passed. Unease creeps up my spine. It’s not Boston by any means, but it’s too much footage to cover in a single swoop.
“Keep your eyes open.”
The guys flank Nikki. I wonder if she knows we’ve done this for the last two years. Any time we’re unsure of something we form a barrier around her.