At that moment a police officer appeared; Erica wasn’t sure if it was the sergeant or the one who’d had the knife – she was having trouble keeping track of who was who. ‘We’ll need a statement from you,’ he said. ‘We can do it at the station tomorrow, but it would be helpful to get it all down now while it’s fresh.’ He had his notebook out and pencil in hand ready.
‘I can do it now,’ Erica said.
‘I’ll leave you to it, then shall I?’ Steph said. But Erica could sense she wanted to stay.
‘No, stay. You can keep the girls company while I do my statement.’
She bent down to pat Daphne, who had been sitting but stood up in response to Erica’s movement. ‘Thank you, darling, you’re a good, good girl,’ she said, ruffling the dog’s ears and stroking her head.
Erica walked with Daphne beside her and Mackenzie and Issy on either side, their arms linked until they got to the gate. Steph and the police officer wanting to take the statement followed.
Erica paused at the threshold to the house and had to steady herself with a deep breath. Her home suddenly seemed a little foreign, not quite hers and definitely not the same atmosphere she’d left, however long ago. She didn’t even want to go back inside. Probably forever. But she didn’t have a choice. She’d have to sometime.
‘You okay, Mum?’ Mackenzie said.
‘Yep. Fine.’ And then Daphne tugged gently on the rope, pulling her from her reverie. ‘Totally. All good,’ she said, and stepped inside. ‘Steph, can you please shut the door behind you so I can let Daphne off the lead?’ she said, turning her head back.
‘Done,’ Steph said, and Erica heard the clunk of the door.
In the kitchen, Erica unclipped Daphne, gave her several firm pats and extracted a treat from the bag, which she held out and which the dog gently took from her fingers. Erica smiled as she then trotted off to the lounge area with her bounty, clearly unaffected by the night’s events. Erica wished she could put it behind her as easily, but while she was putting on a stoic face, she was jittery inside, so much so she could barely stand up. Her heart had stopped racing and fluttering but it had stayed primed.
Erica tried not to show how startled she was at the sound of the girls behind her opening and shutting doors. She wanted to tell them to shush, but they were doing everyday things. She was the problem. The noises weren’t amplified; her sensitivity to them was. She completely got what was meant by nerves being in tatters. That was exactly it – on edge, ready to jump up and run at a split second’s notice. Or freeze, more like it, she thought, remembering the nights she’d lain in bed under the covers too afraid to move. And now, damn it, her legs were shaking again, tingling.
She went over to the dining room table and sat down, glad everyone was distracted and didn’t see how shaky her hands were as she reached out to the chair before carefully lowering herself onto it. She could hear movement and voices around her but even though they were mere metres away everything sounded echoey and muffled.
Erica looked at the steaming mug that appeared before her and then up at the officers sitting opposite. Two of them now. When did the other one arrive? Where had he been? She had no recollection of either of them sitting down and the way one – the one she thought had originally asked her to do a statement – was looking at her suggested he’d asked her a question. She blinked and frowned and then shook her head in an attempt to regain her concentration. She wrapped her hands around her mug and concentrated on that – the sensation of the heat flowing into her hands and up her arms. She couldn’t lift it up, her hands weren’t stable or strong enough, but the heat – it was too hot really to hold – kept her mind from wandering beyond the table and the here and now.
‘Sorry? I completely missed what you just said.’ She wanted to laugh it off, but couldn’t make her features cooperate. She was tight from her skin to her organs inside.
‘It’s okay. You’ve had a big shock. Would you prefer to do this later?’
But, again, Erica thought he seemed to be holding back frustration. Maybe it was just his manner. Or maybe he did want this done and dusted ASAP. And she sure as hell wanted it over with and to get back to normal. Just a blip, she told herself. No harm done. Just a bit of a fright.
‘No. Thanks, but I’d rather get it out of the way.’ Right. Concentrate.
‘Great. Okay. Please start by telling me …’
***
The interview with the police officer was a bit of a blur to Erica, but she answered all the questions through her brain fog, explained how she knew Kayla and Matt and added anything she could, no matter how insignificant it seemed. She was disappointed she was unable to provide either Matt’s or Kayla’s mobile phone numbers, but explained they would be in the appointment book she’d left behind when she’d left her employment. She provided the names of her former bosses and somehow managed to extract their numbers from her phone despite her shaking fingers. The officer was grateful but didn’t think it necessary to contact them. Erica hoped that was true – they probably had enough to deal with already.
They had just finished and the officer had slid his pencil into the spine of his notebook when Erica became aware of silence in the space around her and movement – another person – in her periphery. And had she just heard a gasp? Mackenzie? Issy? Steph? Or all three?
Erica turned slightly in response to another officer appearing. She sat down at the chair at the end of the table to her right shoulder. And then her eyes opened wide as she noticed she held a clear plastic bag containing what looked like a canvas tote bag – a very familiar one – which she put on the table.
‘Hey, that’s my bag!’ Issy said, coming over and sitting down at the table. ‘She’s been in my room? Fuck. Sorry,’ she added sheepishly, offering the officers a cringe.
‘Yes. And Kayla’s cooperating, which will make the process going forwards much easier,’ said the newly arrived officer. Erica thought she might be one of the two women who had brought Kayla out, but wasn’t sure. ‘I’d like you to tell me if you recognise any of the following items. And for what it’s worth, she said she’s really sorry.’
‘Sorry she got caught, more like,’ Mackenzie muttered, placing a mug in front of the latest uniformed arrival.
‘Thanks,’ the officer said, nodding at the tea and smiling up at Mackenzie. Erica couldn’t remember hearing anyone ask the officer how she liked her tea. And it suddenly seemed very important to her to remember. But it was silly. Weird how the insignificant things were suddenly causing her so much angst. Concentrate! The thought was swept aside quickly when the next bagged item appeared.
‘Oh my god. She stole my teddy?’ Issy said, staring at the item wide eyed.
‘Poor teddy, being kidnapped. How awful.’
In her tiredness Erica almost giggled. But Mackenzie wasn’t being glib at all. And any smile on Erica’s lips froze when the next item that appeared seemed very much like her favourite large emerald green pashmina wrap, which was big enough to use as a throw on the couch. That’s where it tended to stay – draped strategically across the corner to add a splash of colour.
‘That’s from your lounge! I thought there was something missing, but I couldn’t put my finger on it,’ Steph said. Erica shook her head, unable to believe she hadn’t been able to place what had been different in her own home – something she’d looked at every day for ages. Or perhaps that was the problem.
‘Well, I want to know why she did it,’ Mackenzie said, looking from one officer to another.
‘Was she just needing somewhere to stay?’ Erica asked. ‘She could have asked – rung the doorbell and told me she was in trouble.’
‘Well, that’s what she started off saying, but having one of your knives in her possession suggests otherwise,’ the officer who had taken her statement said.
‘Mum, you wouldn’t have let her in, though, would you?’ Issy said with huge eyes trained on Erica.
‘Yeah, Mum, she’s a complete stranger,’ Mackenzie s
aid.
‘Well, all your age group going to uni are renting rooms and moving in with complete strangers all over the place – what’s the difference?’
‘True,’ Issy said.
‘I suppose,’ Mackenzie said.
‘And we even discussed me getting a boarder before you left, remember?’
‘Mum, people don’t break in through the roof of random strangers’ houses because they’re wanting a warm bed,’ Mackenzie said. ‘We love that you always want to see the best in everyone, but, seriously … I bet drugs are involved.’
‘Yeah, she was most likely stealing stuff to sell,’ Issy said.
A bolt of anxiety shot through Erica. Stuart’s watch? Her mother’s few pieces of jewellery? She wanted to leap up and go and check, but couldn’t find the energy.
‘But I’m pretty sure Matt said her parents are both doctors with plenty of money,’ she said.
‘That doesn’t mean they’re going to give it to her, especially to buy drugs with,’ Mackenzie said.
A hard ball settled in the pit of Erica’s stomach. She took a few slow, deep breaths and told herself if the mementos were gone they were gone and no worrying about it would help. She had them in her heart. Gradually she began to believe it and then feel it. And then she tuned back in to the room.
‘Maybe she thought she could fly or wanted to get up higher to look at the pretty stars, or whatever,’ Issy said.
‘Oh, Issy, don’t be ridiculous,’ Erica said, her tiredness and stress catching up with her again.
‘Stilnox, LSD, magic mushrooms, anyone?’ Issy said knowingly and folded her arms across her chest. ‘Don’t worry, I haven’t done any drugs, Mum,’ she added, raising her hands, clearly having noticed Erica’s stricken look, before getting up from the table again.
‘Me neither,’ Mackenzie said.
Erica tried to picture Kayla’s face the last time she’d seen her in David Jones. She supposed she had seemed a little intense and edgy. She suddenly had the sense of being very old and out of touch. She shook it aside and tried to focus again.
‘A small packet of something looking like crystal meth was found on her person,’ one of the officers said quietly. Erica wondered if they weren’t really allowed to say that but wanted to get things back on track.
‘Of course there was,’ Mackenzie said.
‘Mum, where’s all the food? I’m starving,’ Issy called from the kitchen. ‘The pantry is completely bare.’
‘Yes, I had a … clean-out. There should be bread in the freezer – have some toast.’
‘Unless Kayla’s eaten it all,’ Mackenzie said, rolling her eyes.
‘Oh!’ Erica said.
‘What?’ Issy said. They all looked at Erica.
‘Oh, that’s a relief. I wasn’t sleep-eating. It was probably Kayla.’
‘Well, der,’ Steph said. Erica’s brain was struggling and part of it seemed to have been left back outside in the crisp night.
Erica looked up; the officer was holding out a shiny object. She had to blink several times before realising what she was seeing: one of the silver photo frames that should have been on the shelf near Stuart’s ashes.
‘Yes, that’s one of my photos.’ She peered through the distracting clear bag and then let out a gasp. There was her face in the frame but across it was a series of squiggly marks made with thick black marker. Scrubbing her out. Her blood slowed and if she could see into a mirror was sure she’d have seen the colour – what remaining colour there was – disappear from her face.
‘Seriously?’ Issy said. ‘I thought they only did that in the movies.’
‘As you said yourself, Issy, there’s no telling what people on drugs will do,’ Steph said.
‘Thank god you’re okay, Mum,’ Mackenzie said, wrapping her arms around Erica from behind and kissing her head before letting her go and moving away again.
‘She indicated she’s upset with you regarding her boyfriend leaving her,’ the officer with the bag said.
‘Have you met someone, Mum?’ Issy said.
‘No. Don’t be ridiculous. Oh god. Girls, he’s your age! This is the guy I mentioned was interested in film makeup. He’s going to or already has gone to Sydney to study. I think that’s what she means,’ Erica said, looking up at the officer, frowning.
Mackenzie stood back from the table with her arms folded hard across her chest, scowling. ‘So, she’s on drugs, and she’s so pissed with you for encouraging her boyfriend to chase his dreams that she broke into your house and … thought about killing you? She’s must be a psychopath. Or what’s that other thing? A narcissist?’
‘I agree at the very least she sounds like a spoilt brat. But we’re not qualified to properly diagnose her, and it’s probably not a good idea to speculate,’ Steph said.
‘God, not you too, Auntie Steph. She’s just broken into Mum’s house – through the fucking roof! – and look at all the shit she’s been up to,’ Mackenzie said, pointing at the items on the table.
‘Yup, I’m with Mackenzie on this one,’ Issy said.
Erica again searched her memory of interactions with Kayla. ‘She did seem to have a bit of a chip on her shoulder that second time. Weirdly superior. A little bossy …’ she said.
‘Girls, I’m angry too. But Erica is okay and Kayla has been caught. It might be worth remembering that people don’t tend to take drugs if they’re happy in themselves or if their life is perfect. And we don’t know what her home situation is or has been. Maybe having both parents as doctors has left her feeling lonely and abandoned.’
Erica looked at her cousin, touched by this uncharacteristic display of empathy. She wasn’t there yet and she wasn’t sure she ever would be.
‘I hear you, Auntie Steph, and I really want to be sympathetic, but for all we know she was most likely waiting for the opportunity to knife our mum. God. Shit. Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,’ Issy said.
‘Yeah, I can see your point, Auntie Steph, but it’s really too soon for no-harm-was-done platitudes.’
‘Fair enough,’ Steph said.
Erica’s mind was stuck on Issy’s words and Daphne’s moment of aggression came back to her. Had Kayla been in the en suite or walk-in robe, just metres away? She shuddered and actually felt bile rise and then slide back down again. Thank goodness she had her girls and their exuberance beside her – otherwise she might be throwing up in the bathroom or ready to curl into the foetal position in the corner right about now. Christ.
‘Well, she did have a knife. Dad would be furious about one of his precious knives being used for goodness only knows what,’ Mackenzie said.
‘Not knives, remember – precision cutting instruments,’ Issy said.
‘Yeah, Dad and his precious precision cutting instruments.’ They all smiled sadly.
On the tip of Erica’s tongue were suddenly the words, ‘Now, about your father A part of her wanted to get all that over with, too. But she was exhausted. And she needed to wait until the police had gone.
‘Is this your candle and gas lighter?’ the officer asked.
Erica nodded. Again, she hadn’t noticed them missing from the hall table.
‘Jesus, she could have burnt the bloody house down!’ Mackenzie said.
An icy finger tapped its way down Erica’s spine and back up it. ‘Thank god for Daphne,’ she said. The dog, hearing her name, leapt up and came over. ‘Yes, you, darling,’ she said, ruffling the dog’s ears. ‘You’re a very good girl.’ The words seemed so inadequate.
‘Oh my god. Remember that old woman who was killed by the neighbour because she wanted her house? The pensioner. She broke in through the roof tiles, didn’t she?’ Issy said, suddenly, her eyes wide. ‘Do you think that’s what …?’
The police officers remained silent and stony-faced.
‘Issy, I don’t think speculating is wise,’ Steph said. ‘Though, at least that’s your silver lining to your financial issues, Erica. If she thought she could take over the house and
/or sell it, she’d have got a shock when the bank foreclosed. That scam doesn’t work when you’ve got a mortgage attached.’
‘Hmm,’ Erica said.
‘And this?’ the officer said, now holding up what Erica recognised as her green scarf, sealed in clear plastic.
‘Yes. That’s mine. You have to keep everything as evidence, don’t you?’
‘Yes, but you’ll get them back eventually, after we’ve finished our investigation.’
Though as Erica looked at the scarf, she wasn’t sure she wanted it back. The thought caused her to be engulfed with sadness; it was her favourite. It wasn’t really special – had just come from a market a few years back. But it had been on a rare day out with Stuart between chemo sessions. When she blinked her vision clear again and looked back to the items on the table, she noticed a bottle of perfume. She frowned at it.
‘That was in our bathroom,’ Mackenzie said. ‘May as well throw it out. I’ll never be able to wear it again.’
‘No, me neither,’ Issy said.
Erica looked at Steph, who was suddenly very pale around her wide eyes. She raised her eyebrows and Erica nodded. Erica suspected it had suddenly become very real for Steph, after being one step removed until now.
‘What?’ both Mackenzie and Issy said at once.
‘Your mum saw a light under your door. I was here and checked and couldn’t find anything. I thought it must have been the sun shining through the window. But she must have been in there. And probably with the knife. Fuck.’
‘Well, she’s been caught now. As you said before. So, we don’t need to worry about it any more,’ Erica said. But inside she was thinking of all the things that could have happened and hadn’t. How close a call was it? Was she standing over me while I slept, trying to get the nerve up to stab me?
Thankfully all three police officers stood up then, instantly ceasing the montage of horrible situations going through her mind.
‘We’ll be off now,’ said the officer carrying the bags of evidence.
‘Yes. But we might need to ask some more questions,’ said the officer who’d interviewed her.
‘Oh. I’m leaving on Monday. I’m moving to Melrose – up north. But you can call me on my mobile, can’t you?’
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