“I’ll do it. Make sure it’s secure.”
“Because I can’t tell if a life jacket’s fastened?” I sniped but turned around so that he could slip it over my arms.
The combination of the rough material and the graze of Walker’s fingertips had chill bumps peppering my skin, and a shiver running down my spine. Walker grasped my shoulders firmly, spinning me around, and I wondered what it would feel like to have those fingers digging into my hips as he took me.
His eyes met mine, and I saw a flare of heat in them that surely matched my own. His gaze didn’t waver even as he snapped the buckles into place. He gave a quick, harsh tug on the life vest, bringing me flush against him. “Just making sure it’s secure.”
All I could do was bob my head up and down in agreement. Walker Cole had me wrapped up in a spell so strong, so intricate, that I knew it would take me years to unravel it.
I felt a tug on my hand. “Come on, Tay Tay, let’s go!”
Walker released his hold, backing away but never letting his eyes leave mine. Shit.
Another pull on my fingers. “Taaaaaaylor!”
I shook off the remnants of Walker’s grip. “Okay. Let’s go.”
Noah and I got situated on the contraption, and both of us held tightly to the handles as the tube drifted away from the boat. The farther away we got, the more my nerves kicked up. I snuck a glance at Noah, who was alight with joy and anticipation. Zero fear shone on his face.
“You’ve done this before, right?” I asked.
“Only all the time. It’s my favorite thing to do in the summer. I wish we lived at the lake, then I could go all day, every day.”
My lips tipped. If a seven-year-old could handle this, then so could I. Jensen lifted her hand in an alert that we were about to take off. My stomach dipped.
The jolt of the tube still took me by surprise, even with the warning. Water sprayed up, misting my face, and the wind sent my hair flying. We bumped over the waves left by the boat’s wake, and both Noah and I shrieked with glee. Noah was right, this was the absolute best.
Andrew made at least three loops around the lake before slowing to a stop. Walker and Jensen pulled us back towards the boat. My cheeks hurt from smiling so widely.
Walker offered me a hand to help me into the boat. “Have fun?”
“That was amazing. I want to do this every single day.”
His rumbling chuckle sent chills down my water-kissed skin as warmth filled my chest. I loved the carefree joy I heard. How could the simple sound of laughter have such an effect on me? And every single time. “Here, I’ll get your life jacket for you.”
I batted his hands away. “I think I can unbuckle myself.”
His teasing grin had me wanting to smack him or kiss him. I settled for rolling my eyes and hunkering down next to Jensen, who eyed me with a knowing look. I slapped the bill of her ballcap. “Shut up.”
Her mouth stretched wide. “I didn’t say a single word.”
“Your eyes say it all.” I groaned. Her smile only grew.
The rest of the day passed with more tubing adventures, a race across the skinny width of the lake, a picnic lunch, and lots of laughter. A sense of belonging filled my heart, something that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I just hoped it lasted.
I shot up in bed, sweat pouring down my face. I lifted a hand to swipe the hair out of my eyes and realized I was shaking. Just a nightmare. Just a stupid fucking night terror that felt all too real.
Images from the dream flashed in my mind. The boat capsizing. Me trying to dive below the water’s surface to reach Noah, Jensen, Sarah, Andrew, and Walker. But the stupid life jacket kept me from being able to dive, and each time I tried to unfasten the buckles, my fingers turned to mush. The minutes passed, and then bodies rose to the surface of the water.
I threw off the covers. My skin felt as if hundreds of insects were crawling beneath the surface. I needed to move. I needed to run and experience the pounding of my feet against the road. I needed to push my body to its breaking point and feel anything but this terror that had seized my heart.
Growing to care about this family so deeply had been stupid. Idiotic. Especially for someone who knew how badly it hurt to lose someone. I fisted my hand and pounded it against my thigh. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
I glanced at the clock and then studied the early morning sky. Five a.m.. It would be light soon. I needed that run, and I needed it alone. If I ran into a bear, I’d just spray it with my bear spray and keep right on going.
Dashing into the bathroom, I quickly splashed water on my face, rinsing away the sweat that lingered there. I grabbed shorts, a sports bra, and a long-sleeved shirt. Changing robotically, I went in search of my sneakers.
Within minutes, I was on the road, the gravel crunching beneath my feet. A few minutes in, I paused to stretch, even though I didn’t really want to. But a pulled muscle would only keep me away from my drug of choice. I limbered up as fast as possible and hit the road again.
This time, I pushed my muscles, lungs, and heart to their limits. I craved the burn. Relished it. Ate up every moment of its delicious torture. It reminded me that I was still alive and distracted me from every other pain.
As I reached the top of Walker’s hillside, my legs buckled, sending me sprawling. I let myself lay there. Head turned to the side, soaking in the view. Pink hues kissed the clouds as the sun began to rise. It embraced the treetops of a still-dark forest and shone on the lake. I shuddered as I took in the lake’s inky depths, flashing back to the images of my dream.
I turned my gaze to the sky. “I need you, Mom,” I whispered, a sob clogging my throat. “I’m a mess without you.” Like always, nothing and no one gave me a reply. I would have given anything to hear her voice in that moment. To feel the gentle reassurance of her presence. But I was alone.
I pushed to my feet, brushing the gravel from my tumble off my legs. I gave my hamstrings and calves a quick stretch before beginning a gentler jog home. I let the pounding of my feet lull me into a numbed state, so I didn’t notice the figure ahead of me until he was almost upon me.
Walker. And he was pissed.
“What in the hell are you doing?” he barked.
I ignored him and kept right on going. I didn’t have it in me to deal with his overprotective ass this morning.
“Taylor. Jesus, what the fuck?”
I still kept going. Or I did until a hand clamped around my arm, spinning me in place. Fury blazed in Walker’s eyes. “I. Asked. What. The. Hell. You’re. Doing.”
“Well, I’m not doing the cha cha.”
“Don’t be fucking cute.”
“I’m running, Walker. And this morning, I needed to do it alone. I have my phone and bear spray. I’m fine.”
His jaw tightened, and I swear I could hear his teeth grind together. “You gave me your word that you wouldn’t go running alone.”
I felt my blood begin to heat. “If you’ll remember, I told you I’d text you the next time I went running. Which I did. I didn’t promise to let you know every time I left the house. You’re not my brother, you’re not my dad, you’re not my fucking keeper.”
“No, I’m the idiot trying to keep you from getting killed.”
I jerked my arm from his grip. “Well, congratulations, you’re off duty. Now leave me the hell alone.”
And with that, I took off down the road at a brisk run. Wind stung the tracks that my tears had left in their wake. I was so tired of feeling. Of caring. Why couldn’t I just be left alone? That’s what I had wanted from the beginning. But no one would listen. Well, from now on, it was polite distance.
My chest burned at the idea of stepping away from the Cole family, but I knew it was what I had to do. I’d keep tutoring Noah and working at the Kettle, but that was it. No more family gatherings or tearful heart-to-hearts. I was alone, and that’s the way it was meant to be.
“That’s the way I like it,” I huffed. I kept running and ignored the bitter taste
of the lie on my lips.
23
Walker
“What?” I barked in answer to the knock on my door.
Ashlee hesitantly poked her head in. “S-s-sorry, Walker, but someone is here to see you.”
I grimaced and pinched the bridge of my nose. I was an asshole. And a grumpy one at that. It had been three days since Taylor had nearly bitten my head off and stormed away. I had been sleeping for shit since then. I hadn’t once seen her around town or at my parents’ house. My mom said that she didn’t think she’d even been by to go swimming, and Jensen said she’d been polite but mostly silent while at work.
I was worried about her. And I was fucking pissed. And then I’d swing back to worried again. Something was wrong. The more I thought about that scene on the road, the more I realized that Taylor hadn’t even been close to okay that day. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her hands had been shaking the way a victim’s did when they were in shock.
Once I’d realized that something was off, I went by the guest cabin. No answer. I called, left messages, texted. Not a word. When I finally threatened to let myself in with the extra key I had, I got a single text back: I’m fine. Just need some alone time. Please respect that. If you can’t, I’ll find someplace else to live.
That had pissed me right the hell off. She knew she had the trump card and had no qualms about using it. So, I’d left her alone. And much to everyone around me’s chagrin, I’d become a prickly curmudgeon in the process.
Ashlee uneasily cleared her throat, and I was brought back to the present moment.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been a dick lately. Been frustrated about a few things, but that doesn’t give me the right to take it out on my co-workers.”
Ashlee’s entire frame relaxed. “It’s all right. We all have bad days.” She eased into my office, clasping her hands in front of her. “Is there anything you want to talk about? I mean, just as friends,” she said, blushing.
I thought about confessing to Ashlee that I had a tenant who I was insanely attracted to, possibly falling for, who was driving me up the wall, but I decided against it. “No, that’s all right, nothing you need to worry about.”
She pushed her hair behind an ear. “Okay, but if you ever need to talk, I’m here.”
“Thank you, Ashlee. That means a lot.” I straightened a pile of papers on my desk. “Now, who’s here to see me?”
“Right.” Ashlee jolted slightly as if just remembering why she had come to my office. “Barry Stevens is here.” She bit her bottom lip. “Do you think Caitlin sent him?”
I groaned. God, I hoped not. If Caitlin had told her father that I had used and then dumped her, this would be one uncomfortable conversation. “Go ahead and show him in. And ask him if he’d like anything to drink.”
“Will do,” she said, scurrying to the door.
“Thanks, Ashlee. You’re a big help.”
She turned, and an even deeper blush stained her cheeks. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you think so.”
I took the next few moments to steel my spine for the possible onslaught to come and straightened the cluttered nightmare of my desk. A quick rap sounded at the door. “Come in.”
“Deputy Chief, Mr. Stevens for you,” Ashlee said in a more professional tone.
“Thank you.” I turned my gaze to Barry, who looked exhausted. “Mr. Stevens, please have a seat. Can Ashlee get you anything to drink?”
He took a seat opposite me. “No, no. She was already kind enough to ask. And please, call me Barry.”
I nodded at Ashlee, and she turned to leave. “All right, Barry. What can I do for you?”
The man, somewhere in his sixties, wrung his hands. “Caitlin’s missing.”
My shoulders straightened, and I leaned forward in my seat. “How long has it been since you saw her?”
“About four days now. She’s usually real good about calling her mama and checking in, even if she doesn’t come out to the farm as much anymore, but we haven’t heard from her in over three days.”
I grabbed a notepad and pen and began to scribble notes as I nodded at Barry to continue. “I thought she might’ve taken off for a few days to lick her wounds. See, I heard what she did at the bakery, going off on you and your lady friend.” His cheeks pinked slightly. “I’m real sorry about that, by the way.”
“No apology necessary. When emotions are involved, we can all say and do things we don’t mean.”
“That’s kind of you to say.” He rubbed a palm over a stubbled cheek. “Well, at first I thought she’d taken off because she was embarrassed-like, but my wife finally got ahold of Bridgette, and Bridgette hasn’t heard from her in days neither. Now, Caitlin might not call her mama and me, but you know her and Bridge. Attached at the hip, those two. Something’s wrong, Walker. I can feel it my bones.”
I didn’t have a good feeling either. Caitlin was more likely to cause trouble than go quietly into the night. “Barry, we’re going to get right on this. I’ll get the word out to all patrol units in the county to be on the lookout for her and her vehicle. Do you have a key to her apartment?”
“Yessir. I brought it with me.” Barry’s hand shook as he handed me the brass key, and I felt a tightness in my chest as I took it. Caitlin and I might’ve had a rocky ending, but she was a good daughter.
I stood. “I’ll send some officers over to her apartment now to take a look around. We’ll do everything in our power to find her as quickly as possible.”
Barry rose, as well, reaching out a hand to shake. “Thank you. I appreciate you taking this seriously.”
“Of course. I’ll keep you updated.” I shook his hand and handed him a business card. “Here’s my card. It has my cell number on the back. Call me if you hear anything.”
He nodded and made his way to the door. As soon as it was closed, I sank back into my seat. This was not good. I quickly put out an APB on Caitlin and her car and then sent Greg and another officer over to her apartment in hopes they’d find something that would point us in the right direction.
My cell buzzed, and I glanced at the screen. “Hey, Little J.”
“Walker.” Jensen’s voice sounded worried.
“What’s up?”
“I think Taylor’s missing—”
24
Taylor
I glanced at my phone for about the millionth time, still no service. I shoved it back into my pocket. I was officially lost. So freaking lost, it wasn’t even funny. And all I could hear in my head was Walker telling me not to go running or hiking on my own. It was on repeat, and I was about ready to bash my own head in to get rid of the refrain.
Everything had started out fine and dandy. I had looked up intermediate hikes in a book that the Coles had left at the cabin for guests. I found one that promised some gorgeous views but wasn’t too far outside of town.
When I got to the trailhead, I’d studied the map on the Forest Service sign. It seemed simple enough. I had veered slightly off the trail to try and catch a view of the lake from above and, apparently, hadn’t been paying close enough attention to the path I charted because when I turned back, I couldn’t find the trail again.
A tree branch smacked me across the face. Shit. I glanced at my watch. I was supposed to be at Jensen’s to tutor Noah two hours ago. Guilt churned my stomach. She was going to worry. On the upside, maybe she’d send someone to find my ass.
I picked my way through the underbrush, thorny bushes tearing up my shorts-clad legs. I was going to take the longest bath known to man when I finally made it home. The foliage began to thin, just a bit, and before long, I’d reached the edge of a ravine that allowed me to see down to Sutter Lake.
At last, a landmark. I just had no way of judging how many miles there were between me and the lake, and my water supply wasn’t the greatest. I studied the sun and my watch. It was still staying light until somewhat late into the evening, so I had at least five hours of daylight left. Could I make it to the lake or some other form o
f help in five hours with half a bottle of water?
Better yet, how would I get to the lake? The ravine was far too steep for me to traipse down, and the chances of me spraining an ankle or worse going that way were way too high. I nibbled on my bottom lip and spun my ring in place on my finger. Maybe if I just followed the edge of the ravine, I’d make it to a place that would be easier to cross.
At least following the gorge would take me downhill, which meant towards civilization. I rolled back my shoulders in an attempt to alleviate some of the tension that had made a home there, and set off again.
A rustling noise sounded to my right, and my head snapped up. I tightened my hold on the mini-canister of bear repellent. Please, God, don’t let this be a cougar or a bear. Please. I slowly turned my head towards the noise, eyes boring into the underbrush.
I couldn’t see a freaking thing. Probably just a rabbit or some other small, harmless creature. As carefully and noiselessly as possible, I continued on.
There were no sounds for several minutes other than my own muted footsteps on the pine needle-riddled forest floor and the faint sound of water at the bottom of the ravine. I let out a sigh. I had let Walker’s paranoid ramblings infiltrate my mind. All his talk of bears, cougars, and falling down with no one finding me until I was a pile of bones had gone right to my head.
My blood began to heat. The nerve of Walker, wielding his authority as an officer of the law just to freak me out. I was going to give him a piece of my mind when I made it back to civilization. He’d probably just said all those things so that I would run with him. So that he could have the time to delve into my psyche. Maybe he was one of those do-gooders who got off on putting damaged girls back together.
I inwardly cringed. That was a little harsh. Even for me. I rubbed at my temples. Being freaked out apparently brought out my inner-bitch. I sighed as a vision of Walker’s green eyes looking at me with concern filled my mind. I melted at the mental image alone. What was wrong with me? How could this man have such control over my body and brain when we’d barely touched?
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