I make my way down the hall, squinting when I get to the kitchen where the sun burns brightly into my retina from the only window in the house that doesn’t have blinds. I knock over a few bottles in my medicine cabinet while searching for the Excedrin. I promptly pour three of the extra strength pills into my palm and fill a glass with some water, then swallow all three at once.
I bring the water with me as I go back into my room and crawl under the covers. Pennywise meows at me from somewhere in the room.
“Not now, Penny,” I moan.
His small feet hit the comforter as he gently lands next to me before settling behind my ankles. The ringing of my phone startles me, and I shoot my arm out from under the covers to reach it on the nightstand, declining the call blindly. When it rings again a couple minutes later, I reach out and silence it once more, but bring it under the covers with me.
A text comes through a few seconds later.
Answer your fucking phone
As I’m squinting at the screen, it lights up with another call.
“Hello?” My voice is scratchy and gross.
“Ugh. What’s wrong with your voice?” Midge asks.
I try to clear it before I say anything. “It’s hungover like the rest of me. What do you want?”
“Someone’s touchy.”
“Why aren’t you as fucked up as me?”
“Because I didn’t drink as much as you,” she answers with a laugh. “I had to make sure you were taken care of.”
“Aww.”
“I know. I’m the best, but that’s not why I’m calling.”
“Okay. What’s up?” I roll to my other side, making sure I stay under the covers.
“How willing are you to get up and leave your house today?”
“About five percent willing.”
“What can I do to make that ninety-five percent?”
“Go back in time and make me stop drinking.”
She laughs. “Other than that?”
“Not much. What do you need?”
“Well, I’m going to check out a car at some guy’s place. I found it on Craigslist, so you know, he could be a serial killer or something.”
“And you want me to be killed with you?”
“Serial killers are less likely to kill a woman if she has a friend with her.”
“Did you read that on some serial killer statistic website or something?”
“No, I just made it up, but it makes sense, right?”
I groan, my eyes still closed. “It has to be today?”
“Yep.”
“And you asked Daniel and Jon? Serial killers are also less likely to kill a woman if she brings along two men with her. I read that somewhere.”
“Right. Well, they’re busy today. I asked already.”
“Ugh.”
“Please,” she pleads, drawing the word out. “I’ll buy you lunch after.”
“No, God. Don’t talk about food.”
“Okay, I’ll buy you coffee or water or whatever you want.”
“What time is it right now?”
“Eleven-thirty, lazy bones.”
“When do you need to be there?”
“At one.”
“Fine. You’re coming to pick me up though. And I’ll be wearing sunglasses that cover half my face. And I’ll be grumpy.”
She barks out a laugh. “Deal. See you soon.”
An hour later, I’m waiting for Midge to show up while I lay across the couch. I took the quickest shower known to man, because I felt nauseous the whole time. I didn’t bother washing my hair since I did that last night. Instead, I just removed the locks from the bun I had been sporting, and let the waves fall loosely down my back. I put on a bit of makeup, but not too much. Outfit of the day consists of a pair of shorts, an off-the-shoulder green shirt, and a pair of flip flops.
My doorbell goes off incessantly, and I curse Midge’s name all the way to the door. She looks too happy when I see her—a stupid smile plastered on her face.
“I hate you,” I murmur, pulling the glasses from the top of my head and down to cover my eyes. “You’re such a bitch.”
“I love you, too. Let’s go.”
She practically skips to her car as I shuffle my feet. Inside, she hands me a cup of coffee from Nae’s.
“I love you.”
“I know,” she says with a laugh.
“Why are you looking for another car? I like this one.”
“Well, this one is kinda small. The one I’m looking at is still cute, but it has more room. The guy said it was his wife’s, but she just got a new one.”
“Sounds like something a serial killer would say.”
“Stop!” she says with a laugh.
We travel over Main Street, the only street in town that’s made of bricks, and then she makes a turn and we start heading toward the city limits. We pass several people who are outside enjoying the warm weather. Kids are riding their bikes in the street, others playing basketball on beaten down goals. Parents are doing yard work or washing cars. I smell the scent of BBQ in the air, and while usually that would make me hungry, it makes me queasy.
“Where does this guy live? Near the railroad tracks?”
“Nah. He said it was past the overpass, though.”
“Near the cows?” I ask, scrunching up my nose.
“I’m not sure.”
I close my eyes as Midge hums along to a song that plays over the speakers. She’s been nice enough to keep her usually loud music to a low volume.
“Okay, we’re here.”
I slowly open my eyes before opening the door. The giant house is hard to miss when I get out. The land sprawls on forever with almost nothing else in sight. All I spot is a small shed that sits farther back from the house.
“Serial killer,” I say.
“What?” she asks, looking around.
“This is the only house for at least three hundred yards. There’s not even any businesses out here. He’s gonna kill us for sure.”
“Oh, stop,” she says, hitting my arm. “Let’s go.”
“I don’t even see any cars. There’s a truck parked around the back. Are you looking at a truck?”
“Pft. No. Maybe it’s in the garage.”
I follow her as she makes her way up the walkway, and what sounds like a saw being used somewhere nearby pierces the silence, but I can’t see anyone. The house has a wraparound porch that I envy, and a single chair sitting near the door.
“If this guy has a wife, why isn’t there two chairs? I’m suspicious.”
She grins and rings the bell. “You’re being crazy.”
I turn around and take in the land. A black fence is set up around this guy’s property. He could probably have horses if he wanted. Past the fence there’s even more green grass and trees. It’s incredibly peaceful out here. I smell fresh paint and wonder if he just moved in.
Oh shit.
“Midge.”
She looks over at me, but before I can say anything else, footsteps thud against the ground, coming closer. The both of us turn to look, but I’m the only one surprised when Royce comes around the corner.
He’s wearing a gray shirt that’s drenched in sweat, clinging to the muscles in his chest. My eyes travel down to his dark denim jeans and work boots. He brings a sweaty, muscled arm to swipe sweat from his forehead, and smiles.
“Hey. You’re early.”
Though half her face is covered by giant sunglasses, I can tell she’s surprised. Midge did her job in not letting her know where she was going. Our plan was to get her out to my house for a late lunch and long talk, but we knew it wouldn’t be easy to get her to agree if I outright invited her.
“Sorry. I wasn’t sure if I’d need extra time to find the place,” Midge says.
“It’s fine. I was doin’ some work out back. Come on in. I’ll hop in the shower and be back out soon.”
I walk past and hold open the door for them. Midge walks in first, followed by London�
��s hesitant steps.
“Nice place,” Midge says after letting out a short whistle.
“Thanks. You guys can make yourself at home. Kitchen’s through there. Living room is down that way,” I say, gesticulating to each room. “I’ll be back.”
I jog up the mahogany stairs, and make my way to the master bath. After washing the sweat and sawdust from my body and hair, I quickly dry off and throw on a pair of jeans and white T-shirt. My hair’s still wet when my feet hit the first floor. I don’t hear or see the girls, so I check the kitchen first. When I don’t find them, I check the living room, but I don’t find them there either.
Toward the back of the house I hear soft footsteps, and follow them to find London walking around in the sunroom.
“I was afraid you left.”
She glances over her shoulder, the sunlight shining brightly behind her. “Midge left.”
“Oh.”
She continues inspecting the room. “This is nice.”
“Yeah, it might be one of my favorite rooms in the house. It used to be a patio, but I had it enclosed with these glass walls. At night when the sun is setting, it’s really nice to sit out here. You can watch the sky transition from blue to orange and yellow.”
A small smile briefly makes an appearance before she focuses on me. “So, you and Midge have been making plans, I see.”
I stick my hands in my back pockets and give her a crooked grin. “What’re you talking about?”
“Mmhmm. Why am I here, Royce?”
“You said you wanted to see the house when it was done. So here it is. Want the tour?”
She stares at me for a few seconds before answering. “Okay.”
I take her back up to the front of the house, showing her the living room, kitchen, and mudroom.
“So, I had help with some of the big projects, don’t think I did it all on my own,” I say with a laugh, “But I did a lot of the interior stuff. Floors, painting the walls, replacing cabinets and I ripped out everything from the bathroom down here and upgraded it. I may have convinced my brothers to help occasionally.”
She nods and asks about some of the work, but I can tell her mind is elsewhere. I take her upstairs and show her the rooms up there. We move past the spare bedrooms, the office, and another bathroom, then we get to my room.
“Is this when you tell me this is where the magic happens?” she asks with a grin.
“No. No magic has happened in this room.”
The expression on her face lets me know she doesn’t believe me. “Right.” She moves past the king size bed and runs her hand across the bench that sits in front of the foot of the bed. When she gets to the windows that take up one wall, she gasps. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” I say, coming up to stand next to her. “This is my other favorite room.”
“The view is gorgeous. Grass and trees as far as the eye can see. I bet the sunset is nice in here too.”
“That’s why I have this little table and chairs set up here,” I say, pointing to the corner. Even from the bed, if I have the curtains pulled open, I could watch from there.”
“Stunning.”
I take a few seconds to study her. Her fingers are splayed gently on the glass, and her wavy hair draped over one shoulder. “Indeed.”
She looks over at me and bites down on her lip. “It’s quite the place, Royce. You should be proud.”
I nod. “Hungry? I have some food downstairs. We can sit in the sunroom and eat and talk.”
“Okay.”
After I drop her back off in the sunroom, I make my way to the kitchen and grab the food from the fridge. I previously prepared a salad and some turkey wraps, so I start taking them to the sunroom and setting them on the table. In my last trip, I bring out a pitcher of lemonade and some glasses.
“I think I covered all my bases here.”
She smiles. “This is perfect. Thank you.”
We eat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, before I start talking.
“Do you know what happened with my parents?”
She freezes for a second, then meets my gaze. “No. I mean, I know they’ve passed, but I don’t know any details.”
I sit back in my chair and begin telling the story I’ve never told to anyone outside my brothers.
“I was sixteen. You know that age—selfish, terribly inconsiderate, and completely unappreciative. My friends were going to Hawaii for spring break, and of course I needed to go. I begged my parents. I yelled and acted like the child I was trying to convince them I wasn’t,” he says with a humorless laugh. “My mom was understandably nervous, but I didn’t understand at the time. I told them I never got to do anything I wanted to do. I brought up the fact that Elijah had been able to go on a trip with his friends. I did any and everything to convince them to let me go.
“Anyway, they finally relented. My dad presented me with a plane ticket and told me to have fun. One of my friends had an uncle there, and we were to crash at his place, so that gave my parents a little relief. While I was in Hawaii, having the time of my life, and talking shit about my parents who almost didn’t let me go, my parents were killed in a car accident.”
I bring my trembling hand to my mouth as my eyes begin to water. “Oh, Royce.”
He keeps going, like he’s afraid if he stops for too long, he won’t be able to finish.
“Every Sunday my parents would go for a drive like they were still teenagers. They drove around this small town, holding hands in my dad’s pickup, and they’d just talk and enjoy their time together. One Sunday morning they were on their usual drive, and somebody plowed into them head on. The cops said alcohol wasn’t involved, and that the driver had likely fallen asleep at the wheel. She died too.”
He takes a break to take a sip of his drink, and I keep quiet, allowing him the space and time to tell the story how he feels fit.
“Because I was in Hawaii with my friends, I ignored calls from my brothers, thinking they were just calling to annoy me about something. I didn’t think it was important. Meanwhile, my parents were dead.”
His voice breaks and he drops his head into his hands as he relives the worst moment of his life. I rush over and wrap my arms around him as he encircles my waist with his arms and cries softly into my stomach.
I murmur words that I know won’t help, but I say them anyway. I tell him it’s not his fault. I tell him his parents knew he loved them.
He pulls away, wiping the tears from his face as he grabs ahold of my hand and squeezes.
“I finally called them back almost twelve hours later. Elijah broke the news to me, and I was on the first plane out of there, and in a complete daze the whole way home. I was hoping that somehow it wasn’t true, that they’d be okay by the time I got home. I had to believe that I’d see them again.
“Anyway, I got home and everything became a blur. People came, offering condolences and bringing food. Mom and Dad weren’t from here originally, so their family came into town from Minnesota to attend the funeral. An aunt and uncle offered to take us back home with them, but we didn’t want to leave. We didn’t want to make even more changes, and we especially didn’t want to feel like we were abandoning Mom and Dad. When the time came to read their will, we found out that besides leaving us all a substantial amount of money, they left the house to Elijah, and wanted him to take care of us. They said if he didn’t want that responsibility that we could live with my mom’s sister, but Elijah stepped up to the plate.
“I’m not ashamed to admit I was a momma’s boy. We had always been close, even though my brothers gave me shit about it,” he says with a short laugh. “I loved her so much, and every day I regret the way I acted to get her to agree for me to go on that trip. I went behind my dad’s back to plead to her, knowing I’d be able to get her to let me go. Now I wish I would’ve stayed behind and spent that extra week with them. The pain I felt and still feel is something I never want to experience again.”
He peers up at me. “I haven’t been
in relationships, because I don’t want to fall in love with someone and then lose them. I don’t want to open myself up to somebody, because I’m terrified something will happen to them, and I’ll be left ripped apart again. The fear of losing my brothers is excruciating enough. Finding someone I care deeply about just meant one more person that could devastate me. It might sound crazy, but it’s been my mindset since I was sixteen.”
Royce stands up and holds my hands in his. “For years I haven’t allowed myself to feel love because I’ve been too afraid to feel pain. But just recently, I’ve realized that being without you is painful. You know why that is, right?”
I swallow, looking up into his eyes, and though I think I know where he’s going, I shake my head.
“Because I…” He stops himself and bites down on his lip before continuing. “Not being able to be with you is agonizing. It’s only gotten worse since I know what your body feels like in my arms. I remember the softness of your lips against mine. I love being your friend. Seeing and getting to know you over this last year has been great, but it’s not enough. I want to be able to call and text you without worrying that you’re with your boyfriend. I want to plan dates and take you out. When I see you walk into my bar I want to be able to wrap my arms around you and know you’re mine.
“I know if we get together, there’s still a chance I could lose you, but I won’t make it easy. I’ll do any and everything to prove to you how much I care about you. I won’t let a day go by where you have to question your importance in my life. And I know we can’t fight death, but I’ll make sure we have no regrets in the life we spend together. I’ll make sure we enjoy every second whether it’s for two months or forty years. But I’d rather you be my girl for a small amount of time than to never know what it’s like to be your man.”
I open my mouth to say something, close it and try again. There’s a million and one things going through my mind right now, and I can’t quite land on what I want to say first. When I open my mouth, he stops me before I find my words.
“I just needed you to know how I felt. I wanted to open up to you so you could better understand me, as well as understand my feelings for you. I recognize your situation, and it’s a decision you need to make on your own, but I needed you to have all the cards before playing your hand.” He smiles and squeezes my hands, and I smile in return. “But don’t leave me hangin’ too long, okay?”
On the Rocks (Kingston Brothers Book 1) Page 19