She was in the process of telling herself it was for the best when she stopped and gripped the edge of the sink. This was her last night—her last chance to be with Ian before he left. If one night was all she had, she was going to seize the opportunity instead of lying awake weeks from now, maybe even years from now and wondering what it would have been like if only. If only she’d had the guts to go after what she wanted. If only she’d walked into his room.
No more if onlys. She was taking charge of her life, starting tonight.
Flipping off the light, she opened the bathroom door and stepped into the hallway. It was quiet and dark except for the wedge of light that fell from her open bedroom door. She stood there for a moment, at a crossroads between the two rooms, and then turned left. Taking a deep breath she rapped on the door and waited.
“Come in.”
She lifted her hand to twist the knob and realized her palm was clammy. She wiped it on her thigh, took a deep breath, and pushed open the door.
Ian sat on the end of his bed wearing a pair of thin black sweatpants and nothing else, his bare feet planted in the shag rug and his hands clasped together. His elbows were propped on his knees as he stared at the floor, clearly in deep thought. He didn’t look up when the door opened but said, “What do you need?”
You, she thought. She opened her mouth to say as much but the word stuck in her throat, so instead she padded over to him. When she stopped a foot away, his eyes fell on her French pedicure and ran leisurely up her bare legs, past the shorts, to where the thin satin top stretched across her unencumbered breasts. His gaze lingered there for a moment before his eyes met hers. When they did, her breath caught in her lungs. The expression in them was raw and reckless.
“What do you need, Leah?” he repeated, his voice low and rough.
He didn’t move to stand or reach out to touch her. She swallowed back her fear of rejection and took another step forward until her toes were even with his. He leaned back, spreading his hands on the mattress behind him, and looked at her from beneath heavy lids. The space between them swelled with tension, and neither of them moved or spoke for several moments.
Breaking the standoff, Leah reached forward to touch his cheek. Ian snatched her wrist with startling speed, halting her when her fingers would have made contact with his skin.
“Leave,” he ordered. But he didn’t let go of her wrist.
Her heart pounded erratically. “Why?”
“This isn’t going to work. I never should have touched you on the beach.”
Her fingers curled into a fist as if shrinking from the blow, but she was the new Leah now and he wasn’t the only one who got to call the shots.
“I’m not asking for a relationship.”
One of his eyebrows lifted but he said nothing.
“I want one night.”
He swallowed. She caught the subtle movement and knew he wasn’t as unaffected as he appeared. Her confidence building, she inched forward, her thighs brushing against his legs as she inserted herself into the V between them. Holding his eyes with hers she said, “One night. Just you and me, our skin slick with sweat. You sliding in and out of me, touching me, tasting me.”
His eyes darkened with each word and she knew he was close to losing control.
She leaned forward, her breath a whisper across his skin. “I want you.”
With a guttural sound he grabbed her around the waist, lifted her off her feet, and tossed her into the center of the bed. He wrapped his hands around her ankles and said, “Last chance to back out.”
In response she sat up, crossed her arms over her torso to grasp the hem of her tank top, and lifted it over her head. His eyes immediately fell to her breasts where her nipples were already beaded with arousal. In a lightly mocking tone she countered, “This is your last chance to walk away.”
“Fuck that,” he growled. “You were meant to end up here.” His body heat was scorching as his length covered hers. The hair on his chest tickled the sensitive tips of her breasts as he caught her mouth with his and kissed her with an urgency that instantly set her aflame. His tongue swept inside her mouth, possessing her, branding her with its heat. Long fingers tunneled into her hair and his palms cupped her skull as he angled her head to grant him deeper access, demanding all of her. Leah’s nails scratched lightly down his back as she kissed him with equal amounts of passion and fervor, rocking her pelvis against the hardness still restrained by his sweat pants.
When she wrapped her legs around his waist he broke the kiss to swirl his tongue inside her ear. It was so blatantly erotic and suggestive that her entire lower belly clenched and the pressure between her legs increased. Then his lips trailed a path down her jaw and her neck, his stubble burning her skin as he tasted the pulse at her throat.
“I’ve wanted you from the first time I set eyes on you,” he murmured. His fingertips trailed softly between her breasts and her breath caught. “I saw you in those short shorts and rain boots and all I could think about was what you would look like sans everything but the boots.” The pads of his fingers brushed underneath one heavy globe and she arched her back, silently begging for more. The corner of his mouth tugged upward. He ignored the summons and traced her ribcage to the other breast. “But it was when you walked out of the airport bathroom with your shirt clinging to your breasts and your jeans hugging your ass that I knew I would give anything to taste you just one time.” His fingers found her nipple and he pinched and rolled it lightly between his thumb and forefinger. “I’ve been dying for the chance ever since.”
When his mouth came down on her breast she whimpered, her belly tightening with each tug on her nipple. She grew frantic as he suckled, every drag sending a streak of pleasure directly to her womb. Mindlessly she lifted against him, rubbing his erection with the juncture of her thighs until he backed away.
“I won’t last long if you keep that up.” He moved down her body, kissing her below her breastbone and dipping his tongue into her navel. He spanned her hips with his hands, pinning her to the bed, and flicked his tongue over the line of the silk shorts. As he did, he tugged aside the damp strip of fabric and slipped two fingers into her wet, sleek folds, seeking the nub that would bring her pleasure. When he dragged his thumb across her she cried out.
“Ian,” she gasped. Before he could go further she reached down for the elastic waistband on his sweat pants. “I want to touch you.”
He was happy to oblige, shucking his pants in one swift movement. Eyes heavy with arousal she started to reach for him, but when she saw his erection she halted and instinctively recoiled. He laughed, catching her ankle as she inched up the bed. “What’s the matter?”
“There’s no way that’s fitting inside me.”
He pulled her back down the mattress and relieved her of the shorts. Pressing his palms to the insides of her knees, he spread her wide and she stopped moving. “I’ll fit,” he promised huskily, looking at her as if she were a dessert platter. He kneeled at the edge of the bed and nuzzled between her legs. He probed her with his tongue, mimicking the sex act and driving her wild with each wet thrust. When he used the flat surface of his tongue to stroke her she felt a tingling in her fingers and toes that told her she was near climax.
“Don’t stop,” she panted. “Please don’t—Ian!”
He’d stopped. Smiling at her frustration, he kissed his way back up her body and then fit himself to her entrance. “This time, you’re coming with me.”
At his words she stiffened. Instantly aware of the change in her, Ian paused with the head of his penis nudging insistently against her. “What?”
Her cheeks reddened and she mumbled, “I can’t come that way.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I can’t orgasm that way. You know, through sex.” When he said nothing she added in case he wasn’t getting it, “I need direct stimulation.”
His eyes took on a glint of challenge. “This will be a first, then.”
She
tried not to sigh. It was hard for a man not to take it personally when she didn’t climax during sex. Her boyfriend before Sokolov had seemed equally confident that he would be different, and then he had sulked for days when it turned out he wasn’t. Maybe she should fake it. She heard women did that sometimes.
Ian kissed her full on the mouth and then whispered, “You won’t have to.”
Her lips parted; no way he’d just guessed what she was thinking. It was impossible—but then she lost her train of thought as he began pushing into her, slow and steady. She felt herself stretching around him. The sensation was so intense she wasn’t sure how much she could take. When he was fully seated inside her she shifted her hips. It was uncomfortable but not unpleasant.
“Are you all right?”
She nodded, although her thighs felt shaky.
He lowered his head and touched his lips lightly to hers and began to move. He was gentle at first, slowly sliding in and out of her, stroking her nerves with every inch of friction and forcing her walls to go slick with desire. After a few minutes she wrapped her legs around his waist, signaling him to go faster. He obliged, hitting a rhythm that made her squirm—and then he held it. He plunged into her, neither quickening nor slowing his pace, using the consistency of his strokes and his sizable girth to drive her higher and higher as a familiar, breathless sensation built in her.
He must have known she was going to climax before she did, because when she realized it her eyes flew open in shock and met his. Masculine satisfaction was written all over his face as she tightened around him and cried out his name on an earth-shattering release. He came with her, his whole body going rigid as he thrust deeper into her, drawing out both of their orgasms.
He collapsed on top of her, and because she felt as weak as newborn kitten, she didn’t even notice she was having a hard time breathing. Fortunately he did. He wrapped his arms around her and rolled to his back so that she lay over his chest.
They didn’t say anything for several minutes and the room was silent except for their ragged breathing. The window was open and a cool breeze crept in, tracing their sweaty bodies with delicate fingers. The leaves of the flowering maple by the mailbox rustled, and Leah could smell rain on the air.
Ian’s fingers stroked idly through her hair, massaging her scalp. With her ear pressed to his chest she heard his heartbeat slow to normal. She looked up, intending to compliment him with flowery language that would have made the English romance novel she’d read earlier proud, but all that came out was, “Wow.”
“Seriously wow,” he agreed.
She warmed at the compliment. In truth she wasn’t overly experienced when it came to activities in the sack, especially considering how the men she seemed to gravitate toward more often than not turned out to be losers. She assumed a man like Ian had had his fair share of women, so it was nice to know she stacked up.
Ian’s hand stroked down her back and she snuggled closer. The knowledge that this might be her only chance to do so knocked insistently at the back of her mind, but she denied it entry. She was going to enjoy this night and leave tomorrow’s worries for tomorrow.
“Will you come back?” she asked. “After you catch him, I mean.”
He didn’t answer right away, but his fingers continued to trail lightly over her skin, causing gooseflesh to spring up in their wake. “I don’t know. It might be best if we didn’t . . . ”
“I know,” she interrupted. It stung, but she understood. He meant it would be best for them to make a clean break. And it would be, especially considering the decision she’d recently made. “I’ve decided to go back to law school.”
His hand stopped stroking her shoulder and he took her chin and tilted her face to meet his eyes. She was pleased to see the obvious gleam of pride in them. “How did you come to that decision?”
“When we were talking about it in the truck it made me angry to realize I’d given up something I loved and had worked my ass off for because some jerk felt entitled to take it from me. All this time I’ve been running from that day, telling myself I blew my only chance. You were the first person I ever told the whole story to, and afterwards it suddenly didn’t seem so impossible. I shouldn’t have been run out of that school. Deering should have been. And what the hell have I been doing letting him get away with it? Why have I believed he would blackball me when it was most likely an empty threat? I realized I am not the same naïve woman I was five years ago. I’ve learned a lot as a paralegal for the DA’s office, and I’m good at what I do. Good enough to be a lawyer.”
“Damn right you are.”
He was the first person in a long time to offer such unfailing support. Vincente’s barbs had always been disguised as humor, but she’d known in her heart he thought she was inferior to him, and yet she hadn’t dumped him because part of her had believed it too. She’d lost her only chance at being a lawyer because she’d been stupid and trusting, so when Vincente insinuated that she was dumb and worthless, it wasn’t anything she wasn’t already telling herself.
A light bulb flashed on in her brain, and she suddenly understood why she’d always chosen the men she had: because in some way they had all perpetuated her own crappy view of herself. The realization of how little faith she’d had in herself made her want to pound her fists against the headboard and scream.
No more.
Leah had survived a near drowning, an assassination attempt, and falling in love with a man she could never have, and she’d be damned if she let anyone tell her she wasn’t a smart and capable woman again.
Her breath caught at the unintended admission.
She was in love with Ian Haugen.
She should have been panicked by the discovery, but she was a stronger, better, wiser version of the Leah who’d left D.C. mere days earlier. The old Leah might have mourned the fact that she’d yet again found the wrong man, but Ian wasn’t the wrong man for her. He was everything right, and for the first time in her life she was going to give her love freely without expecting anything in return. She was going to love him as hard as she could while she could, and then she was going to let him go.
Unaware of her stunning discoveries, Ian said, “What kind of law do you want to practice?”
“I’m not sure yet. I’ve had a lot of experience with family law, but it’s gut-wrenching work, especially in the DA’s office. I’m thinking maybe immigration law. I want to help those who are most vulnerable to the potholes and roadblocks of the system.”
He resumed stroking her from the nape of her neck to the small of her back. “You’re going to be a fantastic lawyer.”
“Why do you say that?”
“You convinced me to sleep with you, didn’t you?”
She burst out laughing. “That wasn’t really a challenge.”
With a mock scowl on his face he rolled on top of her. “Are you saying I was an easy mark?” He slid his hand between their bodies and she gasped when he feathered the pads of his fingers across her pubic bone.
“Ian, we can’t . . . oh . . . ” Her head fell back in pleasure as his fingers found more sensitive territory.
“How about you stop saying can’t so I can stop taking it as a challenge.”
She would have responded but he was already sliding into her, obliterating any coherent retort she might have had.
Chapter 37
After their second, equally explosive lovemaking session, they fell asleep for a few hours. Around two in the morning Leah got out of bed to use the bathroom, and when she slipped between the covers again Ian was awake.
“Sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
He rolled on top of her and buried his face in her neck. She thought he mumbled something as he kissed her, but her body was like tinder to his match, already heating and going soft under his touch, so she didn’t think to ask him to repeat himself.
Now that he’d taken the leash off his rigid self-control, it seemed his appetite for her was insatiable. She
was fine with that; it was almost dawn and they didn’t have a lot of time left together. She could always make up missed sleep, but she had only one night to make love with Ian Haugen.
This time she climbed on top of him and rode him sleepily, languidly, with her head tilted back and her hair falling like silk over her shoulders. His hands wrapped around her hips and he guided her rhythm while simultaneously pushing upward, increasing the penetration until he was hitting her cervix. The pressure was too much, and she came again, going liquid around him and triggering his own orgasm. She collapsed on top of him, breathing hard.
Eventually he withdrew from her and she rolled to the side. He pulled her ass snug to his pelvis and spooned her, kissing her neck and playing with her hair. Suddenly his fingers went still and she felt his whole body stiffen.
“I can’t believe I forgot to ask you if you’re on the pill,” he said. He sounded incredulous. “It’s usually the first question I ask. I never let it get this far without taking precautions, much less go three times.”
“I get the shot.”
The arm around her waist relaxed. “Good. An international baby would be . . . difficult.”
The thought of having his baby sent an unexpected thrill through her. Rationally she knew pregnancy from an overseas one-night stand would be a nightmare, and yet the idea of Ian Haugen as the father of her child was surprisingly appealing.
She’d just started to drift asleep again, visions of a chubby blond baby with piercing blue eyes in her head, when Ian sat up abruptly.
“Wha—”
He covered her mouth with his hand. Lucidity returned with a slap and she went utterly still, her heart doing a slow flip in her chest. Visible in the already pre-dawn light, his eyes met hers. Leah nodded to let him know she understood. He removed his hand and slipped soundlessly from the bed, reaching for his jeans and the gun he’d set on the nightstand. She slid from the bed and started feeling around on the floor for her clothes. Her fingers shook as they brushed along the shag rug.
Finding Lies Page 18