by Eva Ashwood
We’re lost in each other, his hands roaming up my back and down to grip my ass, hauling me in even closer. The sound of the door opening is very distant, but it still catches our attention.
I open my eyes to see Levi standing there, eyebrows nearly in his hairline as he watches us kiss and grind against each other.
My dress is still up around my hips, panties down around my ankles now, and my hand is practically in Sloan’s pants. We both freeze for a second, one hundred percent busted.
Then Sloan shoves me away, knocking me back into the sink. He wipes his mouth and adjusts his pants like he’s trying to hide the fact that he’s hard as hell. It doesn’t work, but he doesn’t seem to care.
“We’re going home,” he snarls, the anger back in his voice. “We’re fucking done here.”
Levi and I both just stand there as he straightens his shirt and then marches out of the locker room without looking back at either of us.
16
I stand there awkwardly once Sloan lets the door slam behind him. I know I look like a fucking mess, and there’s no hiding what we were just doing.
Levi looks surprised and… almost jealous.
There’s something in his eyes when he looks at me, a flash of envy that catches me off guard before he manages to school his expression into something more casual.
He shifts his posture, trying to look like he doesn’t give a shit, but I know that’s not fucking true. I saw that split second of feeling, and I have no idea what it means.
I don’t know what the fuck is going on with me and these guys. I should hate them, I keep telling myself that I do hate them, but for some reason, they make me lose all common sense. The very things that piss me off the most somehow end up being the same things that catch my attention, and it feels like a never-ending cycle.
The last thing I should be doing is lusting after them or letting them get under my skin the way they do, but I just can’t help it. I can still feel the phantom touches from Sloan along my skin, still feel the lingering thrums of pleasure from my orgasm, and there’s a bit of disappointment there too—that Levi walked in before Sloan got the chance to fuck me.
That’s a step too far though. That would be too fucking stupid and insane, and I shake myself, trying not to go down that path of thought. Instead, I fix my clothes, pulling my panties back up and my dress back down. I run the fingers of one hand through my dark hair, trying to make it look less messy and sex-tousled.
“What?” I demand of Levi, when it’s clear he’s not going to say anything first. “Do you have a problem? Something you want to say to me?”
He looks at me for a second longer, then shakes his head. “Nope. Just wondering where you two went off to.”
“Well, here I am,” I reply, striding past him.
“Yeah. I can see that.”
We step out into the hall and walk back to the main room in silence. Most of the crowd has broken up at that point, and Baldy is nowhere to be seen. Guess he woke up and slunk off somewhere to soothe his bruised ego.
A few of the men who are still hanging out clap when they see me, and for a heart-stopping second, I think they know exactly what Sloan and I just did. Then Blondie grins and toasts me with his beer.
“Nice fight. You know how to hold your own,” he says loudly, and the others agree.
Thank fuck.
I slip into my shoes and smile at them. Sloan is standing by the door, his usual thundercloud of anger and irritation swirling around him, and Rory meets us as we head toward him.
He claps me on the shoulder, eyes bright with good humor, and I don’t shy away for a second. I can still feel Levi’s gaze on me, burning a hole into my back, and I’m so tempted to whip around and ask him what his problem is, but I’m too tired to get into it with him.
The temporary peace doesn’t last long though. We’re about halfway to the car when Levi finds his voice.
“So, Sloan and Mercy were fucking in the locker room,” he says mildly.
Rory’s head snaps around to stare at him. “They were what?”
“Fucking. Probably. When I walked in they were making out like a couple of horny teenagers at the prom.”
I glare at Levi for blabbing my business, and for being a fucking hypocrite. I don’t know why he gives a shit if Sloan and I hooked up, especially considering he likes to act like it doesn’t matter that he and I hooked up first. I don’t even know if the other guys know about that, and here he is running his mouth about things that have nothing to do with him.
The anger that was washed away by a good orgasm comes back to the surface. For fuck’s sake, it seems like I’m always going to be either pissed off or turned on around these assholes. Impulse takes hold, and I go with it, turning to face Rory and grabbing him by the shirt.
He has just enough time to give me a surprised look before I yank him closer and kiss him hard. For a second, he’s stiff and unyielding against me, like he’s not sure what to do with this new development. And then he’s kissing me back, leaning down into it with a pleased sound low in his throat.
It’s a good kiss, and it immediately reminds me of rolling around on the floor of their home gym, trying to get the upper hand and grinding against Rory’s cock at the same time. I can feel my cheeks flushing, the heat from earlier flaring up, and I can only hope that it’s dark enough out that none of them can tell. I already smell like sex anyway, so hopefully they won’t notice that my already soaked panties just got even wetter.
“All right, that’s enough. All of you, get in the fucking car.” Sloan’s voice cracks out like a whip to ruin the moment.
Rory’s grinning like a loon when I pull away from him, and I pin Levi with a look, hoping he got the message.
I don’t belong to anyone. Not to Sloan. Not to Levi. Not to Rory. I decide who I kiss and when, and none of these guys have the right to try to dictate what I do.
Levi stares back at me, his brown eyes burning in the darkness. I think for a second that he might say something, and I brace myself for whatever it might be. But he just turns away, opening the door and sliding into the front passenger seat of the car, and I roll my eyes. Of all the guys, Rory is the most easygoing, and he doesn’t seem to be all that upset about being used as a demonstration of my sexual independence.
His green eyes are a little heated when his gaze slides over me though, and I can see him adjusting his boner before he slides into the car, leaving me to climb in after him.
The drive back to the house is quiet, and I’m grateful as hell for that. I can feel a headache brewing, and the last thing I want to do is keep arguing with the three of these infuriating men.
Still, there’s some smug satisfaction in knowing that at least two of them have blue balls. Maybe even all three if Levi’s little tantrum is any indication. Good. They deserve it for being so irritating and not letting me have any privacy or agency or fun.
But then I lean back, getting comfortable in the seat, and I’m reminded of the ache in my own core, the need for more even though I already came earlier. I remember how hard Sloan was in his pants and how I really, really wanted him to fuck me in that moment, insatiable and eager for more, even though I didn’t want to be.
Just thinking about it kicks the fire in my veins back into a full blaze. Unfulfilled desire rages through my body, and my heart beats a bit faster, not letting me forget about it.
So, okay, maybe there are four people in the car who are sexually frustrated right now.
Ugh. I have to do better.
I have to keep my walls up and make that shit airtight. I’ve been letting them get under my skin way too easily, and that’s not acceptable. I can’t keep slipping up around them just because they’re hot and confident and too cocky for their own good.
That’s even more of a reason to keep them out and make sure they don’t get past my defenses or work their way under my skin. I’m trying to accomplish something, trying to make sure I can take them down, and I have to be strong. Not
hing is more important than that, and I’ll keep reminding myself as often as I have to.
I cross my arms and stare out the window, ignoring all of them. I can feel Rory looking at me every once in a while, but I don’t look back. I will the arousal flaring inside me back down, putting the lid on it because it’s not going to happen.
And I’m definitely not going to give in and touch myself in the shower tonight. That would be admitting defeat, and I never do that. I can be stronger than this, stronger than the low hum of need that seems determined to keep me on edge.
I have to be.
As soon as we get back to the house, I march past the guys and up the stairs, escaping to my room finally. I breathe a sigh of relief and slump against the closed door for a minute, glad to be away from them and on my own again. I think about showering to clear my head, but I’m too tired to make it all the way to the bathroom.
Instead, I change out of my dress and put on a fresh pair of panties and a tank top, happy to be comfortable. I text Scarlett that we’re back at the house, then put my phone on the nightstand to charge before turning out the light.
The bed is soft under me, and the pillows are calling my name. Maybe I just need a good night’s sleep, and I can try to forget this whole debacle of an evening ever happened. Or at least work on guarding myself against it ever happening again. I’ll definitely settle for that if it’s the best I can get.
I’m about to slide under the covers when the door to my room opens. My head snaps toward it as I sit up, my muscles tensing and my body instantly in fight-or-flight mode—which for me is basically “fight mode.” I’m about two seconds away from ripping into whoever it is who thinks they can just barge into my room without knocking, but Levi comes striding in with a purpose.
The words die in my throat before they can come out, and I blink at him, surprised. He walks right up to the bed and grabs my face in his hands.
I have a split second to think about how warm they are before he’s leaning in and kissing me. It’s just a short kiss, nothing too hot or heavy, but it takes me by surprise. It’s enough to open the floodgates on the memories of our hookup that I’ve been trying not to think about, and suddenly, I’m drowning in them.
In vividly captured images.
In memories I’ve never been able to forget.
His hands on me, touching me everywhere. Him pulling me closer, easing his cock into my body. His lips on my mouth, my neck, my breasts. The way he laughed when I demanded more, but then gave it to me anyway.
It’s all I can think about for a second, and before I have a chance to either kiss him back or shove him away, he lets me go and steps back, half hidden in the shadows of the dark room.
We stare at each other for a second in the dim light, and I know my face is red, lips parted. I’ve been kissed more times tonight than I had in a while before this, and my head is spinning a bit.
Levi licks his lips. It’s so dark in my room that his face is painted in shadows, but I can see the gleam of his eyes disappear and then reappear as he blinks once.
“I wanted more,” he says in a low voice. “I did. Just so you know.”
Before I can say or do anything in response to that, he leaves just as quickly as he came in.
I’m left sitting on the bed, mouth open, staring at the closed door Levi disappeared through. He meant the time we were together before, I know that much.
He wanted more.
Of me.
Of us.
Fuck, what a mess.
The calm I’ve been struggling to hold on to is shattered now, and I just sigh and get into bed properly, pulling the covers up over my head and punching at my pillows like they’ll somehow give up the answers to all my problems.
You have to do better, Mercy. You have to.
I say it over and over again to myself. I need to add more layers to the armor around my heart if I’m going to get through this. Because somehow, no matter how much I try to hate them, these guys keep breaking through.
17
Another week goes by pretty quickly, and I do my best to stick to my resolutions. I keep my distance from all the guys when I can and try to be emotionally distant when I can’t.
Sloan makes that pretty easy, since he doesn’t seem to want to look me in the eye after what happened between us in that locker room, and I’m happy to ignore him right back. Levi’s still stalking me around my campus, but neither of us are very talkative. The car rides to and from school are quiet, and I can tell he’s just as much in his head as I am. I’m grateful for that, because I don’t want to talk about the kiss or the night at their gym hangout ever again.
Rory seems amused by the whole thing, but he doesn’t push me, letting me ignore him when we happen to be in the kitchen at the same time and not teasing me as much as he would normally. I’m not sure why he’s taking it so easy on me, but I’m not going to overthink it.
I have more important things to focus on. Like my dad. I’m getting more and more worried about him with every day that passes. It’s been over three weeks now, and I haven’t heard anything from him since that text he sent the day after I came to live with the guys. I can only hope whatever task Sloan’s dad gave him isn’t too dangerous, and he can manage to complete it.
But it’s taking a long time, and I don’t know if that’s normal or if it means something’s gone wrong. I don’t want to call and bother him, especially if he’s doing something that needs his focus, but I’m worried as fuck.
I lie in bed at night, thinking about how I wish there was something more I could do, something that would help speed things up. I want him to be safe, but also this is the longest we’ve ever gone without talking. We haven’t spoken since the night of his fight, weeks ago now, and I miss him like hell.
He’s been all I have for so long. I have Scarlett, of course, but Dad is my family. It’s been the two of us since my mom died, and thinking about him out there, doing whatever he’s been charged to do by the Black Roses, all alone, makes my heart hurt.
I need to do better here on my end. I need to find out more about the men I’m stuck with, in case there’s anything that can help me help Dad. This thing isn’t over yet, and neither of us will be safe until we’re completely out from under the thumb of the Black Rose gang.
During the week, I have classes, and the guys do whatever it is they do. They come and go as they like, and there’s not much time for me to really dig into anything.
But on the weekends, there’s more wiggle room.
I’ve noticed over the time I’ve spent here that Rory tends to leave the house often by himself. There’s even a set schedule to it, if I’m guessing right, and he goes somewhere alone for several hours three or four times a week.
Usually when I’m done with classes, he’s just getting back, but on Saturdays it’s easier to see when he leaves in the late morning and comes back sometime after dinner.
It’s like clockwork, and I want to know where he’s going. If it has anything to do with my dad, or even if it’s just Black Rose business, I want to know what it is. The only upside of having to stay with these guys is getting the chance to learn their closely guarded secrets.
I can’t just flat out ask him, because there’s nothing subtle about that, so on Saturday, I wait for him to leave, thankful that Sloan seems to be off somewhere himself and Levi is in the gym.
Once I hear his car start outside, I count to five and wait for him to pull away. Then I slip out of the house and grab my bike, which the guys made good on having someone bring over, thank fuck.
I ride after Rory’s car at a distance, trying not to be seen.
He’s not driving in a way that seems sketchy or like he doesn’t want to be followed at all, just like he has somewhere to be, and I narrow my eyes and keep going.
After about thirty minutes of driving, he parks on the street in a nice neighborhood and gets out of the car like he’s about to walk the rest of the way to wherever he’s going. I leave my bike a bi
t away from his car and follow on foot too, trying to be quiet so he won’t be able to tell I’m there.
We’re a long way away from the heart of Fairview Heights, and the neighborhood has a suburban feel to it. I walk past nice, well-built houses, the kind with real lawns and porches with swings. No one else is out, and it’s a quiet late morning. Luckily, the streets are lined with trees, making it easy to hide behind them and peek out to make sure I can still see Rory.
Or at least, I could see him. About a block away from his car, he turns down an intersecting side street, but I wait too long to follow him. By the time I make it around the corner after him, he’s nowhere in sight.
Fuck.
I press my lips together and scan the sidewalk, cursing inside my head.
Where the fuck did he go? He was right there, and then—
Before I can finish that thought, a hand clamps around my wrist as someone grabs me, yanking me around to face them. I yelp in surprise, adrenaline spiking. I’ve got my fist raised, ready to fight back, when I realize it’s Rory. Shit.
He sees the look of recognition in my eyes as my fist lowers slightly, and he must know I’m not about to punch him. Still, he pins my arms and leans in, brushing his lips against the shell of my ear.
“You’re a pretty fucking bad spy, you know that?” he murmurs, and he sounds almost amused by it.
Motherfucker.
Clearly, he knows exactly what I’m doing here, and I give up the fight, going limp in his arms with a little sigh. I figure he’s going to send me back to the house, or tell Sloan I snuck out and let him deal with me, but instead, he lets me go and steps back, giving me a once-over.
“What the fuck are you doing, Mercy?” he asks, folding his arms. “You’re supposed to be at the house.”