by Anne, Melody
He didn’t want to walk in the shadows anymore, didn’t want to go back to it when this was over. He’d been brought to life by the light and then consumed by the darkness. Now he had to choose which way he was meant to follow.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Phoenix was startled awake by Devon tossing around restlessly. His hand moved toward his stomach and he started scratching the area around the bandages.
“You can’t do that or you’ll tear the stitches,” she told him, pulling his hand away. He groaned as he reached toward the spot.
The forest was quiet — it was the early hours of the morning and the rest of their group was still sleeping. She’d stayed by Devon’s side all day and through the night. He’d been lucky, since it didn’t look as if he’d gotten an infection — he should heal nicely.
“It’s itching,” he complained.
“That’s because it’s healing. Let me put more medicine on it — that will help,” Phoenix said with an indulgent smile. She found it amusing how strong men were, and yet they were such babies when ill or hurt. They complained far more than any of the girls she knew.
“I won’t complain if you medicate me,” he said with a mischievous smile in place. Phoenix swatted his straying hand. She didn’t know how he could be whining one moment and flirting with her the next.
“Behave,” she chastised.
“I think you’re enjoying this — getting to be the woman in charge,” Devon mumbled. “Are you missing your whip?” he finished with laughter.
“Yes, I enjoy you being in pain,” she said with a rise of her brows. He chuckled. “Now, lie back, so I can get this on, and you dang well know I’d never beat someone with a whip,” she said.
“No, you’re just wicked good with a stick.” He wiggled his brows again and she couldn’t contain her laughter.
He finally remained still and she changed his bandage and applied new salve to the wound. It looked good; she was proud of herself for cleaning it so well, even if she had put him through major pain that made her stomach turn inside out at the same time.
“I don’t know what that ointment is, but it feels heavenly,” Devon said with a heartfelt sigh as the cream did its job and relieved the pain and major itching.
“It’s something my mom makes. I’m not sure what the ingredients are, but she’s been using it on us since we were kids. It works for everything from a simple bee sting or blackberry bush scratch, to an open wound,” Phoenix told him.
She finished putting on his new bandage and her fingers trailed over the muscles of his stomach. She lay back down and snuggled into his side as her fingers continued tracing the contours of his abs. She didn’t even realize she was doing it.
Neither of them spoke for several long moments, simply taking comfort in their few seconds of peace in an otherwise stressful world. Dawn started breaching the cold night, bringing the natural beauty around them to light.
“Have you thought about how the world will be when this is over?” Phoenix asked. She was tired of having a conversation in her own head. They were both awake and she needed to hear his voice. He paused for several moments, as if chewing on how he wanted to answer her question.
“How do you know it will ever end?”
“I have to think that way, Devon. If I believed this would never be over, I’d have no reason to go on. Why fight the soldiers and creatures if it’s only going to continue? There has to be an end — I’m just wondering what the world will be like when it does. Do you think we’ll have to start over from scratch? Will technology be gone? How many of the world’s geniuses will be left? Will we be left in the dark ages?” Phoenix fired one question after another.
“We’ll never return to the dark ages but I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again,” Devon said. “Just knowing all of those childhood monster stories are actually true is enough to scare the crap out of me. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that monsters really do exist.”
He paused. Phoenix was having a very hard time with that as well. She nodded.
“As far as technology goes, I don’t think we’ll take too big of a leap back. I’m sure the government knew something was coming for a long time and they have the brightest minds stashed safely away somewhere with all the important technology secured. There’s no way those Washington drones are going to want to sit in a candle-lit house like our forefathers did,” he said bitterly.
“Do you have a problem with the government?” she asked. It wasn’t something she’d ever thought about. The war started when she was eleven, so it wasn’t as if she’d been into politics. The only thing she knew of government was what she’d learned in her classes, and what the elders had spoken about.
“I think they knew about this and they could’ve saved many more lives had they warned us. Maybe my parents would still be here. The thought of the government safely holed up somewhere pisses me off.”
“Do you think it’s worldwide? I can’t imagine it’s only here, and that no other country would step in to help us,” Phoenix said.
“I don’t know, Phoenix. There are a lot of countries that hate us. They think we’re arrogant. Look how long it took us to help the Germans. They were at war a couple of years before the United States stepped in. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re waiting to see how things turn out. My guess is they’re thinking we need to be knocked off our pedestal,” Devon said. “Then if it looks as if we’re winning, they will come in and say they were there the whole time so we don’t go after them next.”
“That’s awful. I refuse to believe in a world like that,” Phoenix said, irritated. She didn’t understand how he could be so jaded. He’d only been a few years older than her when the war began. Of course, he’d been in far harsher circumstances over the years.
“I love your innocence. I really love the fact you want to believe the best about everyone,” Devon said. He turned his body so he was looking directly into her eyes. Phoenix’s breath caught when he glanced down at her lips.
She told herself she didn’t want him to kiss her again. She tried to convince her body of the same thing, but it was hard when she was lonely and he was looking at her like she was the most precious thing on earth.
“I think you have the wrong image of me. I’m far from perfect, Devon. You have to quit looking at me like that. You’re my friend, and I love being with you, but I’m in a relationship,” she warned him, though she wasn’t very convincing since she didn’t try to pull away.
“Where is he? If Jayden cares so much about you, why isn’t he here? I’m here, right now. I love you, Phoenix. I want to be with you. I’m flesh and blood, right in front of you. He’s gone, maybe never coming back,” Devon whispered, his lips only an inch from her own.
Each word he spoke sent his warm breath against her mouth, causing her stomach to tighten. Her fingers clenched against his arm as she fought herself. He was voicing her own fears. She shouldn’t want to be with him because she was fearful Jayden wouldn’t return, though. It wasn’t right for her to use Devon to ease her loneliness with his caresses.
His hand slid up to her neck while his fingers clutched her hair and tugged her chin higher. He brought his lips to her chin and gently nipped the skin, flicking his tongue out to soothe the area. He slid his mouth down the smooth column of her throat, causing her insides to erupt in flames. She should stop him, but she couldn’t get the words out. He swiped his tongue along the sensitive skin behind her ear before his voice whispered across her flesh.
“We can be together, right here, right now. Nothing is stopping us. Let me love you.”
Phoenix was tempted to give in to him, but it felt wrong. She loved what he was doing to her, but she didn’t love him. She liked being with him, and he made her feel good about herself. She liked the way he made her body come to life, but she didn’t love him. She didn’t think she could love any other but Jayden.
Devon became more aggressive as he tugged h
er head back down and moved his lips over hers. He parted her lips with his tongue and invaded her mouth. She couldn’t breathe as he kissed her, demanding a response. His entire demeanor changed, and she went from aroused to afraid.
He threw his leg over hers, trapping her body. She hoped he wasn’t trying to hurt her, but she was frightened. She started pushing against him as he continued to possess her mouth. His hand slipped down her body, touching her, gripping her. She pushed against him harder, groaning her protest against his mouth. He continued kissing her for a moment more before the message came across that she wasn’t enjoying herself.
He lifted his head, his eyes alight with passion, his body still holding her captive. It took him a moment before he realized what he’d done, then his eyes rounded in horror as he noted the frightened look in her eyes.
“Phoenix, I didn’t know . . . I’m so sorry . . . that should’ve never . . .” he tried apologizing, the words stuttered as he tried to get them past the lump in his throat.
“What the hell was that, Devon?” she demanded. She sat up and hugged her knees to her chest. She trembled in the aftermath. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked miserable.
“I don’t know,” he finally said. She sent him a glare. She was angry because he was making her feel as if she couldn’t be with him, not even platonically. She’d opened a door with their kiss the other night, and she knew it was unlikely she’d ever be able to close it. He’d lost control and had scared the heck out of her, but she hoped he hadn’t really wanted to hurt her. It wasn’t an excuse, though. If she said no, she meant no. She didn’t see how they could fix their situation.
“I’m going to build a fire,” Phoenix said, jumping to her feet. Devon let her go. He knew she needed time. He also knew he might have just completely blown it with her. His face contorted in agony as he watched her move around their camp.
She refused to look back at him, and he felt complete shame. Everything in him only wanted to protect her — keep her safe — love her. And yet, he’d been the biggest threat to her safety she’d ever had. He lay back down and clutched the blanket to his chest, wishing his body ached more. He’d prefer physical pain over his heart breaking. He knew they couldn’t come back from this.
Chapter Thirty-Four
“What’s going on with you and Devon?” Sadie asked as she cornered Phoenix. “He’s been shooting you wounded little puppy dog looks all morning.”
“It’s nothing,” Phoenix mumbled, not wanting to talk about it. Unfortunately, Sadie wasn’t one to back off.
“Look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way, but you know I won’t let up until you tell me,” Sadie said, her arms crossed.
“We kissed this morning. It got a bit out of hand and I got upset. I haven’t talked to him since,” Phoenix said in a stilted voice. Sadie’s eyes rounded in surprise. Devon had been nothing but a gentleman since she’d known him so she was justifiably shocked.
“What are you going to do? Do you want me to have Brian kick his ass?” Sadie asked, completely serious. Sadie’s protectiveness seemed silly, but what made her comment so funny was how deadly serious she was. It actually made Phoenix feel better. It was nice to have friends who loved you so much.
“No, of course not. He stopped when he realized what was going on. The thing that upsets me the most is that I enjoyed kissing him. I need our friendship and the comfort I feel in his arms, and now it’s tainted. I can’t be with him, knowing how he feels, when I love Jayden. I’m so confused,” Phoenix said, her words filled with frustration.
“We’ll have to think on it for a while. Don’t rush into any life-changing decisions when you’re upset,” Sadie said. She had all the right answers and that’s why Phoenix should’ve spoken to her sooner.
“I’m starving. Let’s get some food,” Phoenix said. She looked at her hands and was disgusted by the dirt and grime on them. There was even a bit of blood left from changing Devon’s bandages. “Maybe I should clean up first. Let’s find a private place and see if we can get a halfway decent sponge bath,” she said, making Sadie laugh. They were so used to being covered in muck that it was almost second nature. It would be nice when they had regular showers, meals, and a real bed to sleep in again.
While they boiled water, John and Brian made a makeshift bathing area. The three girls felt like they were in heaven as they washed the grime from their abused bodies. They heard the men grumbling outside their paper-thin walls about catering to girls, but they were laughing. They enjoyed pampering them — it wasn’t often they could do something nice in the middle of a war.
After the girls cleaned up, John gathered everyone together. They ate a quick meal and sat down to listen. He’d already told them a little about his day on the island, but he wanted everyone together before talking of their new plans.
“First of all, I know the last few nights have been a blur and we can’t dwell on those we can’t save, but I’m proud of the respectful burial you gave Scott, especially with the situation you were in. His family will be grief-stricken, but they’ll rest easier knowing how much he was loved and how much respect he received in the end. I’m sorry I wasn’t here in time to help him — it’s been eating me alive,” John whispered.
“John, we don’t expect you to save the world. You’re one person . . .” Sadie said as John raised his eyebrows. “Okay, one practically immortal being now, but sheesh, seriously, don’t let grief consume you. Aren’t you the one telling us we need to stay focused? I didn’t know Scott as well as a lot of you did, but in our short time together, he made me laugh, and I trusted him. I’ll miss him, and he’ll be honored, like all of the others who have lost their lives too soon.”
Phoenix was humbled by Sadie’s words. She was such a good person. It seemed she knew what to say in every situation. Her words were soothing to their entire group, and their shoulders seemed to straighten as she finished.
“Scott would expect us to carry on,” Brian said, then raised his glass. “We’ll see you again,” he called into the air. The team followed his lead and said a silent goodbye.
“Thank you, Sadie,” John said, looking at her gratefully. He took a moment to clear his throat, then immediately jumped into business. They had no choice but to keep going.
“There are a few hundred soldiers on the island,” he said. “That’s nothing compared to how many are back east. We can easily do this, but not on our own. I’ve already contacted the surrounding teams and we’re going to meet down by the lake tomorrow afternoon. There will only be about twenty-five of us taking this island, but that’s enough.”
Phoenix was nervous, but anxious to get it over with — besides, there were real beds at the base, and most likely a lot of food.
“What about the communities on the island?” Brian asked.
“They’re all empty. I think the soldiers took over the entire island. I don’t know if the people who lived there escaped or were taken captive. It really depends on whether they thought they could make a stand or not. My guess is, they stayed, thinking they were safe due to the military base,” John said.
Phoenix didn’t understand how the enemy had managed to so easily take over a United States military base. That had to be one well-thought-out plan — quite an undertaking. She wondered if they’d ever know how the group had been so well organized. She thought back to a history lesson, and remembered one of the elders saying wars weren’t planned overnight. There were many small steps preceding the final grab for power. The elders theorized that many events led up to the takeover, and it all came from the same group. They hoped they’d know one day, because it would be difficult to always wonder.
“We’re going to head out in a few minutes and set up camp at the lake. It’s secure. I’m sorry I left you vulnerable like that. There was an underground bunker the soldiers were in. They’re gone now, and I destroyed the bunker,” John said.
“I’d rather go to the lake. I don’t like being so far f
rom water,” Sadie piped up. Phoenix agreed with her. She thought if the war ever ended she’d need to live in the middle of a huge, open field, next to a bubbling stream. She didn’t want to look at trees for a very long time.
They were able to upright their truck, and miracle of miracles, it started. It sounded funny, but if it could get them down the mountain, they could ditch it. There were plenty of other vehicles on the island.
Carefully, they made their way downhill, the truck choking a few times and taking them twice as long as it should, but they finally were off the mountain. John and Brian searched the area, double-checking that they were safe. Phoenix held her breath until they returned — being so close to the place they were going to attack wasn’t comforting.
“We’re clear. There’s not much else to do today. Our other teams will be here early, then we can go in,” John said. They sat for a few hours, John showing them a map of the island. Everyone knew where they were heading, and what their job would be. The girls rolled their eyes when he wanted to go over everything one more time.
“Seriously . . .” Phoenix started to say, when she was interrupted.
“Help, we need help. Are you there, John?” someone shouted from around the bend. Everyone jumped to their feet. They reached for weapons, just in case it was a trick, but no one besides their own troops would know John was in that spot.
John was the first to rush in the direction of the voice, but the rest weren’t far behind. When Phoenix reached them, she stopped in her tracks. She never expected to see who was standing there.
“Princess Phoenix, how nice to see you again,” Jessica sneered. Phoenix stared at her in disbelief. What was she doing there? John was talking to Mathew, one of the other unit leaders, and Dean was on the ground. He was one of the youngest kids out fighting.
“I know we weren’t supposed to come here, that you wanted us on the North Bridge, but Dean got stabbed, and we were closer to you,” Mathew gasped. He was wringing his hands, clearly agitated.