by Theda Vallee
“How am I supposed to hang on?” I asked. I’d never been on a motorcycle, and the physics of duel riding seemed suspect to me.
“Wrap your arms around me. Then hang on tight. If you feel like you are going to lose grip or need me to stop, tap my chest two times,” Luc said.
Before I could say anything else the bike roared to life under me, vibrating enough to chatter my teeth. For fuck’s sake. Why did it have to be a biker bar? Why couldn’t it be one of those swank clubs where people showed up in limos?
We navigated the small streets of my neighborhood at a leisurely pace. Watching the street rush past with nothing between us was jarring. A few streets up he turned the bike heading towards the freeway. Panicking, I dug my hands into his chest, practically hooking my fingers under his ribs. You couldn’t glide leisurely down the highway. The speed limit was sixty-five, but old ladies would flip you off if you didn't go at least seventy. Luc barreled down the onramp picking up speed by the nanosecond. My brain flashed to the horrible videos they’d made us watch in driver’s ed. There was no way I’d get back on this thing to go home.
As we pulled into Mama’s Pit I wanted to kiss the ground. My butt hurt. My thighs hurt. My vagina hurt. I was never going to be able to close my legs again. The muscles had seized up and seemed to be permanently stuck open. Everything on me felt dirty. I may have eaten a few bugs. I was not a motorcycle mama.
“That was fun. I should look at getting one of these. Would you ride with me?” Luc stood next to the bike looking like he’d just been for a stroll in the park.
“I’d rather eat food off the floor of a port-a-potty,” I said.
Stepping into the bar the outside world disappeared. The room was dingy. The lighting in the place clearly had the criminal element in mind. I nearly choked on a cloud of smoke that swallowed us as we made our way towards the bar. Our state had banned smoking in bars, though it seemed no one here had gotten that message. Red vinyl stools lined the well-worn bar. The seats of the barstools were ripped with stuffing popping out. I didn't want to sit on them with my barely-there shorts. I was pretty sure that’s how you got STD’s. A jukebox sat in the corner blaring “Free Bird”. I almost rolled my eyes. I mean come on. Were they really playing Free Bird in the biker bar?
Seven leather-clad men hung around a pool table in the back corner. You’d think big burly men in leather would be sexy. Unfortunately, these men looked like they’d been dragged behind a train for miles before someone let them get dressed. They were covered in scars, bad tattoos, and menace. They looked like a villain’s goons in a B movie.
Tending the bar was a bleach blonde woman with the biggest breasts I’d ever seen. Her back must kill her at the end of the day. She wore a tight black leather bustier that pushed her breasts up like a fleshy waterfall. A spider web tattoo covered each of her shoulders wrapping around to meet on her back. At some point in time she may’ve been pretty. Now she just looked worn, like everything else in here.
“Can I get two Coors?” Luc asked as we bellied up to the bar.
“Sure thing, honey. Where you two from? I haven't seen you in here before,” the blonde said, sliding our beers over to us.
“We’re just doing a quick turnaround up from Monte Vista. Had a few days off work and needed to get out into the air,” Luc replied.
Sipping my beer, I let Luc do the talking. My job was to keep the team outside updated on the inside situation via text. I’d voted to seed a few people in the bar ahead of us for back-up, but I’d been vetoed. Texting our status seemed like a terrible way to ensure we had help if things went south.
“Nikki? Babe? Hello?” Luc said gruffly. Shit, I forgot my undercover name already.
“Sorry. Texting.” I held my phone up and smiled. I tried to make my face look as vacant as possible. Hopefully the bartender would think I was pretty, and that was about it.
“I said let’s go sit in the corner. The lovely bartender here said they’re still serving the full menu. We can grab something to eat before we head back out.”
“OK, Jimmy, wherever you wanna go.” I followed him to the table near the bikers. I hope he didn’t actually want to eat the food from this place. If the main dining area was this grimy I could only imagine the filth lurking in the kitchen.
Just as we settled into our table the men playing pool abruptly stopped and turned towards the archway that led to the bathrooms. Their bodies vibrated with tension as their focus lasered in on the figure framed in the arch. I couldn't see around them, but whoever the hell it was had these tough men spooked. I gripped the table holding my breath to see what kind of shit show we were in for.
When they finally parted to let the person pass, I choked on my beer. It was Heilwig Neuhaus in the flesh. She looked just like the picture Luc had shown us last night, only meaner. She was taller than me by several inches. Her body was packed to the brim with muscle. Her shoulders were broad, rippling with energy. I now understood what it meant to be built like a tank. She was a solid mass that could mow down anyone in her path. Black leather pants encased her legs, showcasing every curve of her bulging quadriceps as she walked. She wore a black Lynyrd Skynyrd tank top that matched her jet-black hair. The tank top was skin tight and allowed her bulging muscles the freedom to flex as needed. Each of her hands was the size of my entire head which she could probably crush like a watermelon if she wanted to.
“We need to go.” I leaned over and whispered to Luc. This had been a stupid plan. We were in way over our heads.
“Relax. We'll stay a little bit. I want to see if anyone comes in to talk to her. That might give us another lead.” He put his hand on my leg, squeezing to reassure me.
I wanted to rip his hand off my thigh. This was not time for bravado. We were in a room with a criminal that had escaped capture on more than one occasion. Anyone with a reasonable amount of intellect would realize that made her a damn powerful strega. There was no way we had the strength to take her on if it came to that.
I shot a desperate text out to Brady, hoping he’d call Luc to talk some sense into him. I wanted to leave but I was afraid that would cause a scene. The last thing we needed was to draw their attention over here.
The blonde from the bar brought the potato skins we’d ordered over to the table. Luc dove into them munching away contently. Lord help me, I was going to rip every strand of hair out of his head when we got out of here.
To make matters worse, my body had decided to betray me.
“I need to pee,” I said.
“You can’t wait?” his voice took on that tone parents use with their kids.
“No, I can’t. I have a pint of beer bouncing around in my bladder. Can we get out of here, please?” I kept my voice low but made my urgency clear.
“We’re not done. There’s a bathroom here. Use it and get right back.” He stuffed another bite of food in his mouth.
The bathroom was on the other side of the pool table. I was going to have to walk past the seven angry men and the She-Hulk to get there. Why would he think walking that gauntlet was even close to a good idea?
“Are you kidding? I doubt the bathroom is the crown jewel of this place. I’ll probably contract five diseases walking in. Besides, do you really think it’s a good idea to risk making contact with the strega version of Houdini?”
“We’re not leaving. If you need to pee you’re doing it here,” he said coldly.
What a jackass! He’d gone into that weird emotionless space I’d seen when he came to arrest me. He turned into an Osservatori automaton like flipping a switch. There was no way I was going to be able to hold my pee until this was over. Anyone who’s had a baby knows your bladder doesn't make it through pregnancy unscathed.
I inhaled deeply imagining lazy ocean waves rolling onto the beach. I needed to feel Zen before I walked across the room. They could probably smell fear like a shark smelled chummed water. I stood up walking towards the back room. I kept my eyes focused on the arch refusing to let myself make eye
contact with any of them. I was almost to the arch when a wall of flesh stopped me from moving forward.
I looked up to find Heilwig leaning across the arch. She looked comfortable, like she wasn’t going to move unless she wanted to.
“Where ya going sugar?” She flashed her lovely yellow grin at me.
“I gotta piss. Beer always goes right through me.” I smiled back hoping I sounded crass enough to be a biker babe.
“That your old man over there? From over here it looked like he’d said something that upset you.” Her eyes roved up and down my body. Her gaze paused at my breasts for a moment before finally resting back on my face.
“Yeah, that’s Jimmy. He’s all bark and no bite, though. He’s got issues with other guys looking at me. He wanted to make sure I didn’t stop to visit with any of them. You know the type.” I shrugged. Nothing to see here. Just a girl out for a ride with her jerk boyfriend.
“With a body like that I can see why. You guys shoot pool? How about you join us when you get done?” her voice conveyed that it was not really an invitation but a demand.
“Yeah, OK. I’ll ask Jimmy when I get back,” I said feeling the bile in my stomach start to bubble. She moved to let me pass but I feel her eyes on me as I walked through the door to the bathroom. Fuck!
The bathroom looked as disgusting as I suspected. Years of grime had built into a thick sticky layer on the floor. I had a strong suspicion it mostly consisted of human bodily fluids. Peeing without sitting, touching the wall, and making sure my shorts didn’t touch the floor was going to be a feat.
I figured it out as best I could. Looking at the sink, I decided I’d rather take my chance with my own urine than whatever was on the faucet. Pulling my phone from my bra, I texted Brady and let him know our status. We agreed that if ten minutes went by without my responding, he’d bring the cavalry in. Luc would be pissed when he found out I went behind his back. I wasn’t going to die today because he had some macho idea that he could take on a notorious criminal. I left the bathroom to see if I could convince him to leave rather than join a game of pool.
As I moved through the arch back towards the table, I almost froze. Heilwig sat at the table, chatting away with Luc like they were old friends. He looked like nothing in the world was wrong that. No big deal, just sitting there drinking a beer with one of the Osservatori’s most wanted. What the actual fuck was wrong with him?
“Hey, babe, Heilwig here just offered us to join a game before we head back out on the road. Loser buys the next round. What do you say? We can stretch our legs a little before heading out,” Luc asked, looking at me as if he hadn’t a care in the world.
I didn’t want to play pool. It was reckless to walk into a den of snakes and think you wouldn’t get bit. “Any other time you know I’d be down for a game of pool, but I’m exhausted. I have work tomorrow, and so do you. We should really head out.”
“Come on, Nikki, that’s what sick days are for.” Luc stood up from the table and grabbed my hand, pulling me behind him as walked to the pool table
If we made it out of this, I was going to have Nerina cast a spell to give him jock itch for life. He deserved so much more than that, but I had to stay in the realm of legal. When we made it to the back room I walked to the wall of cues to choose mine. I was damn good at pool. My dad had loved the game and taught me how to play before he died.
I picked up a cue, bringing it up to eye level so I could look down the shaft. Pool cues at bars tended to be warped from use and could really throw off your game. If I was going to be forced into a pool game of doom, I was going to at least play well. Finally finding one that seemed to be decent I chalked up my hands in preparation. Luc pressed up against me holding his cue.
“Someone looks like she knows what she’s doing,” he whispered in my ear.
“Yes, someone does,” I said, bumping him away from me with my butt. Having a healthy rear could be useful on occasion.
“Boys. Jimmy and Nikki here are my guests. Let’s make some room and make them feel welcome,” Heilwig said, staring down her motley crew. “Let’s shake things up a little. Since you’re in my bar I’m going to make the rules. Let’s play a game of Eight Ball, but chicks against dicks. Mateo, you’re the dick with Jimmy here,” Heilwig said, looking at Luc as if she dared him to disagree.
“Sounds fine to me.” Luc sauntered over to the counter and picked up the beer he was still nursing. “Ladies first. Why don’t you go ahead and break?”
“You’re my guest, Nikki. Go ahead and break. I’ll just stand back here and watch.” Heilwig smiled at me like a fox who’d just found a way into the hen house.
I smiled back at her despite the layer of ick that was creeping down my spine. Bending over the pool table, I expertly smacked the cue ball sending the balls scattering across the table. The four-ball sunk into the left corner pocket, but the other balls stayed on the table. Perfect.
“Looks like we’re solids.” I examined the table for my next shot. I was a little rusty, but I could run this table if I wanted to. That was probably not the best choice today. Instead, I eyed two balls that would allow me to look like I was a good player but not that good. I could sink one and miss the other on purpose. Working my way around the table I sunk one ball with ease, and expertly missed another. I could feel Heilwig’s eyes on every movement I made.
Luc was after me. I watched as he eyed the table looking for a good layup. Heilwig scooted closer to where I was standing. Her massive thigh pressed against me as she leaned against the counter watching Luc. My magic panicked as soon as she felt the raw power radiating off Heilwig. She reared her head, pulsing in question ready to do something rash. Be chill Stella, babe. We’re just playing pool. Nothing bad yet. Promise you’ll be the first to know if we need to get crazy.
“You play good. I get the feeling you missed that last shot on purpose. Now why would you do something like that?” Heilwig asked, leaning close to my face. I could feel her breath hot on my neck. She smelled like pepperoni and beer.
“A girl learns really quick that when you play with the boys you never win.” I moved to the side, adding some space between us.
“Did you ever think that shouldn't have to worry about shit like that?” She rested her hand on the small of my back. I could see Luc watching everything out of the corner of his eye. He made his shot but tipped his cue up at the end causing him to miss. I had a feeling he’d scratched on purpose to get Heilwig away from me. The first smart thing he’d done all day.
We needed to get the hell out of here. There was no way we were going to be able to nonchalantly try to get information out of Heilwig. Her eyes constantly darted around taking everything in. I had a feeling she’d kill first and never bother to ask questions if she decided something sketchy was going on. I watched as she lumbered around the pool table, feigning consternation at the options. She was showing off for my benefit, showing me that she wasn’t afraid to let the boys what she was made of. She knocked three balls into the pocket before scratching. With a satisfied grin, she walked back over to me.
“Hey, Jimmy! Looks like your lady needs another drink. Maybe you should get on over to the bar and get her a refill.” Heilwig held my empty glass out to Luc.
“We’re going to get out here after this game. She doesn’t need another drink,” Luc said. He took the glass from Heilwig and set it down behind us.
Heilwig opened her mouth letting out a sound that was a cross between an alligator mating and a donkey braying. She shook her head in amusement, so I had to assume it was a laugh. Luc stood there awkwardly, not sure whether to laugh with her.
Then as if she had flipped a switch, her face contorted with rage. Her meaty fist flew out connecting with Luc’s face. He crumpled to the ground like his body had suddenly become liquid.
“That’s what you get for being a prick, Jimmy,” she said with smug satisfaction. “Mateo, get my friend Nikki here another drink.”
What the ever-living fuck was I suppose
d to do now? Stella flashed through my system ready for action. I wasn’t ready to resort to magic just yet. It’d been seven minutes since I texted Brady. If I could stay calm and let this play out for a few more minutes, back up would come surging through the door. Despite the small amount of control, I’d learned over my magic these last few weeks, there was no way I’d be a match for her. Maybe in a few years, but not today.
“Why’d you do that?” I asked. I stepped backward, making sure I wasn’t in punching distance.
“Honey, you need someone who’s going to respect you. Someone who’ll treat you like the princess you are. That asshole just wants to control you.” She stepped forward, removing the space between. Her hand reached up tucking a strand hair behind my ear. She ran her hand down my check, stopping to tilt my chin up. “Have a seat, doll, let’s get to know each other a little.”
Mateo brought me another beer. I sat across from Heilwig and took a sip. My hand shook, sloshing the contents out of my glass as I tried to set the mug back on the table. I had no idea how I was going to make it through the next few minutes.
“Thanks for the beer. You know, Jimmy was just trying to make sure I was ok on the trip. He’s not such a bad guy.”
“No? If he wanted to protect you he’d have never brought you to a place like this. If those fellas over there decided your pretty little ass was going to be their supper, do you think he would’ve been able to stop them?” she asked.
“Probably not. Could you?” I asked. She clearly thought she was superior. If I could get her to talk about herself I might be able to get some information and keep myself safe for a few minutes.
“Honey, I’m capable of things you can’t even imagine.” She grabbed my hand from the table, kissing the top of it gently. “Have you ever been with a woman?”
“No.” I tried to keep my voice from quavering.
“Well do you ever think about it? Who knows a woman’s anatomy better than another woman? With that kind of knowledge imagine the things a woman could do that a man would never even think to try.’ She ran her hand up my arm.