by K B Cinder
I had to stop acting like a giddy teenager at the sight of him. The crush would go away in time, I was sure. Once I had a special someone and didn't get my kicks from a vibrator, I'd be free of it. Hopefully, Bear would be the one to fill that role... and hole.
I grinned, amused with myself as I scanned the counter for sugar to no avail. I finally spied it across the room and died inside.
Some savage had moved it by the sink, right beside Barrett. There was no polite way to move around him in such a confined space, and his scent already had me punch-drunk.
“Did you have a nice weekend?” he asked, pulling me from my inner conundrum.
He grabbed a coffee cup from the stack, his paw of a hand engulfing it. Everything about him was so big. I wondered what else was …
Stop. I didn't need to think about his package. I was meeting Bear the coming weekend, and the crush would be long gone after the date.
“Yes, it was nice. How was yours, sir?”
He flinched at 'sir' as if I smacked him. I should have after how he treated me, but I also needed to eat and pay bills, so I swallowed my pride.
“It was great.” I stood there awkwardly, not wanting to get too close to grab the sugar but unsure of how to make chitchat with a man who hated me until he walked into the room a moment earlier. I didn't want to ask for it either, fearing the unpredictable anger I experienced before. He could have had a thing against saying please for all I knew.
“Looking for this?” he asked, lifting the bowl and shaking it side to side.
“Oh yeah! There it is!” I exclaimed, faking a surprised voice.
His face screamed bullshit, but he held it out, and I plucked it from his grasp, our hands brushing. Always the graceful one, I almost dropped the damn thing.
“Got it?” he asked, brows furrowing in concern.
“Yeah. Just a klutz.”
“I've noticed.” There was a hint of laughter in his voice, something I never heard from him.
“How are you liking Ithaca?” I asked, carefully exploring his newfound friendliness.
The city had to be night and day from Tampa. Going from sun and surf to clouds and mountains didn't seem like a fair trade.
“It's a nice town. There's a lot to do.”
I thought back to my conversations with Bear, trying to siphon out some small talk for an area newbie. “We have some of the best hiking trails in the area,” I offered.
His face lit up like a kid at Christmas. “You do. I checked out the Cayuga Trail a few weeks back. It's a new favorite.”
Ah, he found the same treasure Bear had. I always loved running the trail when I first came to the city. Nothing beat getting away from it all, running through nature without a care in the world.
He stepped around to pour a cup of coffee, his frame dwarfing mine, even in four-inch heels. I wondered if Bear was around the same height. I’d never dated someone significantly taller before, and six-four was well over a foot above. Jason seemed as tall, but I couldn’t be sure, my heels’ artificial stilting throwing off the comparison.
“It's perfect for pictures once the leaves change. You should take a camera.” I smiled, liking this new friendly side to my former foe. Maybe he wasn’t so bad.
He stiffened, shooting a wary look before taking a step back with his black coffee. No sugar or cream, as bitter as he was towards me before his little glimmer of friendliness.
“Yeah... so I've heard...” he trailed, eyes skimming me from head to toe. The cheery mood iced over, the light air sucked right out and replaced with a heavy freeze.
Shit. I poked some soft spot of his, and he was back on the defensive.
“You'll have to check out Buttermilk Falls too.” I squirmed under his gaze, half-anticipating some sort of critique or lecture.
I hadn't done anything wrong and wasn't dressed inappropriately. My black slacks and cowl-neck blouse were more than modest. I avoided lipstick since our run-in, too, the sight of a tube summoning flashbacks of his smeared chest.
“I'll keep that in mind.” He took another step back, stiff as a board.
I turned my attention back to my coffee, the sudden awkwardness hanging over us like a wet blanket. I didn’t want to wade any closer to whatever crazy he had going on. I had enough of my own to deal with.
“Have a nice day, Elena.” He shot me another careful look before pulling his phone from his pocket and turning towards the door.
“You too, sir.”
He left without another word, all but sprinting to get away from me.
Jason
My stomach was in knots as I rushed towards my office, hastily pulling up the Privately app on my personal phone.
I could hear my heart pounding in my ears, everything flicking to panic mode.
Jewels had also suggested I bring a camera along for my run — leaves and all.
I was likely paranoid, given that there wasn't much else to do in the area. Locals probably always used the trails as a go-to recommendation. Regardless, I had to set my mind at ease if I was going to survive the day.
I checked her over a dozen times from head to toe, looking for a hint of Jewels' body. Those damn pants obscured her ass, and her blouse masked her breasts with awkward draping. I always hated the style and more so now that it was fucking with my head.
They were similar in build, but there were plenty of women walking around with the same body type in the world. It wasn't that unusual to be short and curvy. Then again, something made me uneasy.
I was in a cold sweat as I bounded down the hallway, storming by streams of workers shuffling in to grab a coffee before the start of training.
If I sexted with a coworker — a staff member beneath me - Elena Julian - I would have to leave immediately. Fraternization was a massive no-no, a policy laid in stone after a guy was caught fucking an employee.
I'd have to figure it out and avoid detection if that was the case. I'd need a reason to go to Chicago early and complete the task remotely. Illness. Allergies. Anything.
As I bounded into my office and shut the door, locking it for good measure, anxiety had set in. No amount of reasoning could douse the speculation. I had to check Privately.
Jewels couldn't be Elena; there was no way. Elena was quiet and mousy. She was always at work, too, often still tucked away at her desk when I left. She was likely there while I was smutting away with Jewels too.
I flopped down in my cheap rolling chair, its aging frame screeching but holding firm.
As our conversation loaded on the screen, I flicked back in time, looking for a full-body shot of Jewels. As soon as I found one, I zoomed in, studying it, trying to compare.
Jewels was the high point of my day, capping off stressful times with hearty laughs and steamy sessions. She was my only confidant in the city, absolving me of any tension and freeing my mind of Croft's nonsense.
I examined the photo, looking for a trace of Elena, and came up with nothing. I had no definitive proof she wasn't Jewels either, but without solid evidence, I relaxed.
Elena seemed to be paler than Jewels and a little taller. I could have been pulling at strings, but I swore Elena's breasts were larger. I remembered that night at Crow Bar in her revealing camisole all too well. It was the same night I had a spirited session with my hand in the shower to get her and those tits off my mind.
Bear: Miss you, doll.
I fired off the message quickly, needing reassurance. Everything would be fine once Saturday hit.
Jewels: Miss you too, Bear. Saturday is right around the corner :)
I grinned, a calm washing over me. I knew I was being ridiculous.
Bear: I'm so excited to meet you finally.
Jewels: Same!!!
Jewels: I have some work to take care of, though, so I'll message you later, okay?
I forgot she didn’t have the luxury of hiding out in an office to text. From what I understood, she worked in a busy office with little downtime. It seemed like she worked at one of the a
rea colleges with her hours, but I couldn’t be sure.
Bear: That's okay. Hang in there, Jewels.
Jewels: You too. Don't stress yourself out, hon.
Bear: I won't.
It was a lie, but she didn't need to know I was freaking out about the potential of her being another woman. Another woman who I also found incredibly attractive. That was the last mess I needed.
Elena was hot, but she wasn't Jewels. I'd never be able to spend hours chatting her up. She hated my guts and rightfully so. I was an asshole to her from the jump.
A sudden knock at the door startled me out of my head.
“Come in!” I called, closing the app and sliding the phone into my coat pocket.
The handle turned but nothing.
“The door is locked!” a muffled voice called.
Shit. I hurried over and unlocked it, yanking it open to see Elena Julian, eyes wide.
Her draped top's neckline had dipped, revealing a hint of cleavage. I kept my eyes glued on her face, not willing to wander back down that slippery slope again. It was one thing to check out an employee’s tits at a bar. It was another to appreciate them out at work.
“Yes?” I asked, stupefied. She never came to me directly before. At the same time, I was relieved. She couldn't be Jewels if she was outside my door. There was no way she could message me and make it across the building so fast.
“The meetings are about to begin, sir. Marty sent me to ask if you'll be joining.”
“You could have called...” I trailed, confused. She didn't have to hike all the way over in heels. Better yet, Marty could have called me or walked over his damn self, not sent someone over like a retriever.
Her cheeks reddened in embarrassment. “I did, sir. You didn't answer.”
I stepped back over to my desk, and sure enough, my desk phone was blinking with missed calls. “Crap. I must have turned my ringer off.”
My shoulders sagged in relief. She also couldn't have been messaging me if she was calling.
“It's okay, sir.” She looked down at the floor, still well into the hallway, refusing to look my way. “We're in the main conference room if you'd like to join us.”
I let out an involuntary scoff and eye roll, unable to contain either. “The training isn't for me.”
“Oh. Okay.” She paled, swallowed hard, and turned to flee.
A wave of regret swept over me, realizing that she thought she was the intended target of my disgust. “Elena?”
“Yes, sir?” she asked, frozen, her arms crossed defensively.
“Step into my office, please. Sit down. I want to talk.”
She reddened all the more but obeyed, scampering over and sitting down in one of the worn chairs before my desk. Her light fragrance danced around the room, coconut yet again, her preferred scent of the day. Her body was rigid, taut with tension as if I could pounce at any moment. I could, and I had before, as much as I hated to admit it.
It was enough to form a knot in my chest, memories of being a scared kid rushing all back at once. No one should have to live in fear, especially at work.
I sat down, the rolling chair shrieking again, causing her to flinch.
Her eyes fixated on the large crack in my desk, the catalog used to hide it brushed to the side. My hand still hurt from punching the goddamn thing.
“I'm sorry that I've been so short with you.”
She remained silent, still focused on the large crack, the unmistakable mark of a fist in its center.
I slid the shielding catalog back in place, but she still didn't meet my gaze. “It's not your fault. It has nothing to do with you, honestly. I'm sorry.”
She nodded but stayed quiet.
“In all honesty, I've been a complete asshole, and I owe you a thousand apologies.”
She looked up, a tiny smile touching her lips, the sight releasing the knot in my chest. “And here I thought you hated me.”
“I don’t hate you,” I admitted. “You're a great employee. I appreciate you, even if they don't out there.”
Her shoulders relaxed, arms falling to her sides. “Thank you, sir.”
“Anytime.” I took another deep breath, her relief echoed within me. “And I want you to go home on time. You and Lee.” I more than appreciated them working late, but it wasn't fixing the root issue.
Marty would have to figure out what to do with Monica in the meantime. I wanted to fire her outright, but I'd have to work on documenting her failures. I didn't doubt for a second she'd throw a fit and threaten legal action if she was terminated. I needed to have ammunition for that battle when it came.
“You work too hard for a group that doesn't do their part,” I continued. “I won't have that as long as I'm here. You both belong at home with your families.”
I was revealing too much, but sometimes the truth was a necessary evil.
She nodded but still seemed uncomfortable, her chocolate eyes darting everywhere. “Yes, sir.”
“Do me a favor and ask Marty to call me.”
I needed to have a little word with Mr. Marty Radwell.
“Absolutely, sir.” She stood quickly, hurrying to get away.
Despite our little breakthrough, I still scared her, and it gutted me. I didn't want any woman to be afraid of me.
“Elena?” I called, making her freeze in her tracks as she hit the doorway, teetering in her heels at the sudden stop.
“Yes, sir?” she asked, tucking a stray lock behind her ear.
“Stop fucking calling me sir.”
She giggled, just as she did with Lee each time I saw them together. “Sure, s-err I mean Mr. Barrett.”
I frowned. “No, that makes me sound old. Call me Jason.”
Mr. Barrett was my sperm donor, the womanizing asshole that left my brothers and me high and dry. I was never Mr. Barrett and never would be.
She giggled again, shaking her head and flushing pink head to toe. “Okay.”
“Have a good day, Elena.”
“You too, Jason.”
Elena
Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.
The squeal of the shopping cart wheel was horrendous, but I wasn't about to hike it across the store in search of a new one. It was a long day of training sessions and team-building activities. I'd suffer through the high-pitched shrill if it meant my feet would be up sooner rather than later.
Too much small talk in the Croft lobby with some out-of-town visitors annihilated my feet. They were a flirty bunch, not so subtly inviting me to dinner and drinks. I rebuffed the offers politely, but Monica had taken them up. I secretly hoped one of them would take her to bed so she'd get fired or at least be in a better mood the next day.
It wasn’t like they weren’t cute. I just wasn’t interested in them or the risk. A certain Bear had my undivided attention.
All hints of grace were gone as I lumbered on like Godzilla invading Tokyo, feet crying out with each step. I hobbled along, mentally cursing whatever sick son of a bitch invented heels. I also hated myself for not wearing flats when I damn well knew I had to run to the store after work.
I put off the trip for as long as possible, but I was out of laundry soap and clean undies, so it was now or never. I wasn't about to free muffin it in a dress in the office. With my luck, a sudden gust of wind would flash my lady bits to the world, and I didn't have the reflexes for that nonsense.
While flashing everyone would be a story for the ages, I'd also never be able to show my face again. It was one thing to come crawling back to work after canceling your wedding at the last minute, but facing the masses after assaulting their eyes with your lady parts wasn't survivable. Even Lee and her smart mouth couldn't save me from that one.
I traveled along slowly, finally reaching the detergent aisle at the far end of the store. I scanned the powders, liquids, and pods, hoping they still had my preferred brand in stock. I wasn't picky about many things, but laundry soap was definitely one of them. I hated smelling like floral nonsense. I was all about fresh
linen.
Unfortunately, someone spilled a container of one of my least favorite brands at some point, a wet floor sign cautioning those at the far end of the aisle as the aroma of fake floral meadows hung in the air.
I could hear a familiar voice chattering away in the distance. I couldn't quite make out the voice, but I knew it from somewhere. It was likely someone from my complex or a coworker, considering how familiar it was to my ears.
I continued my search, grumbling when I spied it on the top shelf. Even in heels, there was slim to no chance of reaching it. I eyed the shelving, debating scaling it like the tree monkey I had become. I had done it before. Just not in heels.
I could limp along and hope to find someone taller to help me. I could also go with another brand that would leave my clothes smelling like bathroom spray. Or I could hoof it up the shelves.
Screw it. I would make it up that shelf. I was tired of being on my feet. I plotted my attack, kicking off a heel to prepare for the climb.
“Elena?”
The familiar voice was clear as day and right behind me.
Every fiber of my being went on high alert, skin prickling as each hair stood on end. My stomach knotted in an instant, months of anxiety and heartache rushing back.
My careful avoidance came to a sudden halt in the laundry aisle of a department store with one shoe off. It wasn't quite the look I'd choose when facing an enemy, but I had no other choice at the moment.
I took a steadying breath, pretending not to hear a thing and hoping the monster would take the hint. My heart pounded out of my chest, the sound deafening.
Please. Go away. Do us both a favor and get lost.
A slow burn crept up my chest, the hot wave of anguish buried months earlier readily fleeing its not-so-final resting place. It moved to my throat, threatening to make it to my face and eventually, my eyes.
Don't cry, Elena. Don't you fucking dare.
“Elena?” he repeated. “Elena, is that you?”
His voice was higher pitched than I remembered but unmistakable. Paired with his trademark citrus cologne, I knew exactly who he was without looking.