by K B Cinder
Armed with a whole lot of nothing and nerves, I stuck Linc in a last-minute karate class while I set out to kick ass myself on Collins Ave.
Olivia was already there waiting, and she let me in while Mom and Dad were distracted with reruns of Jeopardy. She came alone at my insistence, knowing that whatever it was, it was ultra-personal.
I headed straight for the rear living room, and walked in and shut off the television just as the final clue came onscreen.
“Josephine, what the hell do you think you’re doing? What are you doing in my house? You’re not welcome here. You’re no longer part of this family.” Dad slowly climbed to his feet with a clenched hand, his voice rising along with him.
I pointed a trembling finger at him. “Sit the fuck down, Ed.”
He turned nearly purple with rage. “Excuse me?”
I held my ground, refusing to back down.
The time had come. The Roberts dynasty would be no more.
“You heard me.”
He took a menacing step toward me, and for a split-second, I thought he was going to hit me. “Who the hell do you think you’re talking to? You shacked up with some low-life trash, and now you think you’re somebody?”
“Sit down, Ed!” Mom snapped, her cheeks flushed red as her eyes bounced between us from the couch.
Dad grunted, but obeyed, slinking back to his recliner. It was the first time I’d ever seen him actually listen to her.
Olivia hovered near the door, but I waved her in and gestured for her to sit beside Mom. She’d need the support. They both would. I’d already ridden through hell with the news I had to deliver.
Dad crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, what is? You came barging into my house talking to me like the white trash.”
I studied his face, hoping to see a sliver of the man I’d grown up loving but found nothing. “Do you want to tell them, or do I have to?”
“Tell them what?” There was a cruel laugh at the end, twisting the knife deeper in my gut.
“You know what. This is your last chance.”
He rolled his eyes as he pressed a finger to his temple. “I’m not playing guessing games with you, Josephine, and I’m certainly not going to be threatened in my house.”
Something in me snapped. I couldn’t take another second of him. “Fuck your house! None of that matters anymore! The jig is up. I know what happened.”
His eyes narrowed as they met mine, and in an instant, his face paled. The sharp lines of his face softened, and he cocked his head at me as if I’d fall for his charms. The same way he looked at cameras during his stupid campaign commercials years before. “Honey, we can talk about this. You and I. You don’t need to shout.”
“No, they need to know.” I flicked my head at my mother and sister, ready to free them from the lies, too. I wouldn’t bury them for him. He needed to be exposed for what he was.
“Need to know what, honey?” Mom asked, her fingers threading in her pearls nervously.
It broke my heart to break hers, but I needed to know what was right, even if it wiped my family off the face of the Earth as I knew it. I’d rather have a broken home than one built on lies.
“Shut up, Trish!” Dad snapped, rising to his feet again.
That line was all it took to break the dam, the secret pouring out in a stream of pain. “Dad had an affair with Lynette Stephens eleven years ago. Luke saw them together, and that’s why he made me leave. He didn’t want Luke to tell me.”
I wiped a tear as it fell before turning to Olivia. “We have a brother, Liv. You’re a big sister.”
Suddenly, all hell broke loose.
Mom and Olivia started bawling, while Dad shouted and rose to his feet to come barreling toward me before stopping inches away. His hand hovered inches from my face, and rather than hit me as I expected, he patted three fingers against the hollow of my cheek.
“Good job ruining the family, Josephine. I hope you’re happy with yourself.”
Luke
Three days, four hours, and twenty-five minutes.
That’s how long it’d been since Josie stormed out with Lincoln, slamming the door on me and our future together.
Since I’d truly bared it all to her, and she left.
It was an awful, dirty, disgusting truth, one that she refused to see as I did.
I didn’t want to hurt her, and in the end, it was my undoing.
She wouldn’t answer the door, her phone, or texts, so I did the only thing that ever worked with Josie: I waited.
I had no idea how she was feeling.
My life had never been a lie. I had a straightforward, no-bullshit childhood. My mom was a drunken whore, and my dad was a cheating pig. Neither hid it.
But she truly thought at some point her dad was an honorable man. A decent man.
Since she’d come back to Briar, the foundation in her past was proven to be a lie. Over and over.
I loved her.
She’d come back. I knew she would. She just needed time. Time to process. Time to accept. Time to move on from pain with love again.
* * *
I stopped counting days when a week passed.
Why torture myself by noting every day she wasn’t with me?
When she wasn’t in my arms.
When Lincoln wasn’t peppering me with questions.
When Tally didn’t have a playmate.
When I wasn’t whole.
* * *
Time was a strange concept, the hands of a clock determining what time people did what, an entire species letting it make them its bitch.
Rushing moments to avoid being late.
Cutting fun short to wake early for work.
In the inlet, when the deafening noise of the world stopped, time seemed to, too. The mindless shuffle paused, and there were nothing but the waves and the wind to worry about.
I sat on the edge of the dock, feet swinging inches above the water, waves nipping at my heels.
As a kid, it would’ve terrified me, with one too many Jaws watching sessions leaving me a bundle of nerves. It was one of the few movies they played on cable when we lived in the motel before moving in with Nan.
It took a solid summer to lose the fear, to realize a two-ton shark wasn’t going to single out my pinky toe for his lunch. Of course, the day I finally got brave enough and took the plunge, there was a shark attack on the news. But once I had a taste of the water, I was hooked.
I watched my feet dangle, the two limbs containing the last few inches of skin not covered by ink.
Tally sat beside me watching them just as intently, probably bored out of her mind with her lame dad. I wasn’t as fun to hang out with as Lincoln. I didn’t chase the ball with her or sneak her treats when she’d already had too many for her own good. And I definitely wasn’t as fun to cuddle on the couch since I took up so much space.
A rolling sound behind me made me flinch, and Tally bark, the two of us big, bad, muscled boobs scared shitless.
“Luke!” Feet sounded off the deck, tiny arms wrapped around my neck from behind.
“Hey, dude!” I put an arm over his, making sure he was steady before I turned to look behind me.
Josie was walking down the dock with a large rolling bag, a smile on her face.
“Going somewhere?” I asked, raising a brow.
“Oh, ya know. Just coming home.”
My heart swelled at her words, but I couldn’t spring to my feet to spin her like mad like I wanted, the little monkey on my back keeping me in place.
“Is that so?” I teased, patting Lincoln’s arm twice.
He let go, and I eased to my feet, not wanting to get Tally too excited. She was a bull in a China shop when she got going and knocking a four-year-old in the water would definitely ruin the moment.
She nodded, continuing to stroll towards me, her hips rolling with each step while her hair blew in the breeze.
“There’s no place like it.”
“Linc, why don’t you go
play ball with Tally?” Josie asked, eyeing her son.
“Her tennis ball is on the deck.”
That was all it took to send Linc flying down toward the house with Tally, the two delighted to be reunited.
“How are you doing?” I asked, eyeing her cautiously.
“Things were rough,” she started, coming to a stop at my feet, manicured toes touching mine. “But now I’ve never been better.”
I reached out and stroked her cheek. “I’m happy to hear.”
“I love you,” she breathed, letting out a shaky breath, looking up at me with nothing but love in her eyes. “I know why you didn’t tell me.”
“Because I love you.”
She nodded, eyes glistening. “You loved me enough to let that weigh on you all those years. You didn’t hurl it at me when you hated me either. You could’ve crushed us all, and you didn’t.”
I shook my head, reaching out to pull her to me. “I would never destroy my family.”
She smiled, leaning close to rest her forehead against mine. “We are your family, and we’ll always be your family.”
Soft lips brushed against mine, just as magical as the first time years before in the same spot, and just like then, I was giddy, ready to give her my all.
“Marry me.”
Her eyes popped wide, and I realized I’d said what I thought aloud.
“Marry me,” I repeated, louder. It was impulsive, but it wasn’t a mistake. I’d never been surer of anything in my life. “Marry me. Make me the happiest man alive-”
Her lips crashed to mine before I could finish, hands sinking in my hair as her body melded into mine.
Epilogue
Parent-teacher conferences were no joke.
Especially when you had to meet with a teacher you once gave a hard time.
Thankfully, Mrs. Shaw had nothing but praise for Lincoln.
I trudged down the driveway with Tally, grabbing the wad of letters from the flimsy mailbox on its last legs, Josie backing it over one too many times over winter.
I sifted through junk mail, advertisements appearing more and more in the daily load for the businesses popping up downtown. I came across a square postcard, a picture of our pride and joy on the front, smiling ear to ear with a party hat on.
“Lincoln!” I called, knowing he’d lose it over getting another piece of mail. It was his third birthday party invitation in two weeks, Josie 2.0 morphing into quite the social butterfly at Briar Elementary. He had more friends than Josie and I combined.
He came sprinting from the house, sneakers digging in the gravel driveway with Tally close behind, Josie following the pair while waddling and squawking.
There’d be hell to pay for me, too, as I’d interrupted homework time, a sacred window in the eyes of Mrs. Barrett.
“What is it, Dad?” he asked, the title still foreign to my ears. He’d been calling me it more and more, something he’d picked up on his own one day.
“Come check it out,” I insisted, waving it. “Read it to me.”
I handed him the card, hoping to get back in my wife’s good graces by making him flex his brain a little.
“To Lincoln Cross. Please come to my rocking roller party Friday, May one, at five.”
“May first,” Josie corrected, hands pressing against her sore lower back as she came to a stop. “Who’s it from?”
“Gabe,” he replied, smiling.
Gabe was his latest best friend, his fifth so far in the school year. It seemed like everyone was Lincoln’s best friend, not that it was a bad thing. Just like his Mom, people adored him.
“Go put a G on the date on the calendar in the kitchen,” Josie ordered. “Leave the invitation on the counter for me so I can RSVP for you.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He took off toward the house, waving the invitation, excited he got to mark the calendar. It was one of his favorite new big-kid responsibilities.
Josie leaned up and pressed a light kiss on my lips. “How was the conference, baby?” she asked, resting her head against my arm.
“Good,” I replied, pushing aside the day’s minor inconveniences. “How’s the baby factory running today?” I rubbed her belly, our daughters, Hazel and Ruby, due to arrive any day.
“It’s running smoothly, but it better come up with an evacuation plan soon.”
I laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “A little birdie told me a fun way to make that happen.”
A throat cleared behind me, the two of us turning to see Trish.
She’d purchased the cottage for a steal from Dan when he was hard up for cash after his trust fund run dry. With the divorce settlement, my mother-in-law wanted for nothing, stripping down the walls of the old place and breathing life into it.
“I was coming over to make sure there were still babies in you since you never answer your cell phone.”
“My phone’s inside!” Josie defended. “And there are definitely still babies in here.”
“Well, keep an old lady in the loop, will you?” Trish griped. “Where’s Linc?”
Josie flicked her head towards the house. “Hopefully, finishing his spelling homework.”
“Why don’t you two head down onto the dock for a bit? I’ll go check on the spelling bee inside. Soak up a few moments of free time until you’re a family of five.”
Did I mention I loved my mother-in-law?
We headed down the familiar walk to the edge of the dock hand in hand, the place where it all started years earlier.
“Are you ready for all this?” Josie laughed as we came to a stop, gesturing to her stomach.
“I’ve never been more ready for anything.”
She smiled, looping her arms around my neck. “I love you, Luke Barrett.”
My lips met those of the woman I loved. “I love you forever, Josie Barrett.”
Introduction
Hiring a crush is foolish.
Hiring an obsession is downright dangerous.
I’ve built an empire I’d die to protect, only to plant a landmine at its center.
Keely Doyle is the air in my lungs.
The blood in my veins.
The muse to my madness.
Because of her, I’m worth millions.
And because of her, I might lose it all.
Ethan
Two Years Earlier
A nighttime drive in the rain promised a whirlwind of emotions.
Melancholy from the dreariness. Hope when the drops lessened. Disappointment when another downpour rolled in. A strike of fear when tires hydroplaned, the slightest miscalculation in speed spelling disaster as the car spun out.
I was willing to take any of it just to feel.
But like so many things, the drive was out of reach.
A single nail struck it down, leaving my Mercedes alone in the basement garage. The spike remained wedged in the front driver’s side tire, mocking my choice to stick to a single car and echoing my brothers past taunts.
“Stop being a cheap ass, Eth!”
“Just buy a goddamn Lambo already!”
Luke and Jason happily indulged after growing up hand to mouth. It wasn’t like I didn’t, the luxury sportscar parked beneath my penthouse attesting to it, but more than one vehicle would be ridiculous. Though if I’d had another, I wouldn’t be riding the T sandwiched by drunkards.
Cheap beer hung heavy in the air with a pungent undertone of vomit as bodies packed in the crowded subway car. There was a mix of partygoers and regular folk, the holiday weekend in full swing. As grotesque as it was, it was a better backdrop than home. Nor’easter or not, I needed to get out. I hadn’t left its walls in weeks, too busy wallowing in my own bullshit to face the world.
I ran a hand over my face as the train jutted forth again. The rough beard beneath my fingertips was foreign. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d shaved or even looked in the mirror. I probably looked like shit, dick, and ass had a three-way love child but couldn’t care less. I had no one to impress.
/> The beard’s lifespan was coming to an end, however, the scruffy patch itching like hell. I had no idea how Luke dealt with one. Then again, the bastard didn’t flinch while getting tattoos in places that hurt just thinking about.
But that was Luke. He was always the tough one, just like Jason was the smart one. I was christened the sensitive one, an affinity for the arts earning the label as far back as I could remember.
“Don’t you have something to color, kid?”
“Go draw your feelings, fairy!”
My brothers never hurled insults, but classmates weren’t as kind. Life was hell until I was pardoned to complete my studies in the art studio. I was going to be the prodigal son of Briar, after all, the one who put the town on the map.
And boy did I let them down.
I’d let everyone down.
My life’s work flickered out, talents wasted watching endless television and drowning in the nothing where fires once blazed.
A big-bellied man beside me belched loudly as the train rolled into the next stop. A slight gurgling at the end confirmed he was the source of the vomit stench, and as he swallowed the mouthful of sludge, I turned away, trying to keep my own dinner from resurfacing.
Luckily the shuffle of bodies dissipated Pukey’s scent, alcohol and colognes battling as people climbed on and off. The closer we got to the North End, the stronger the odors of the night would grow and hopefully cancel out Pukey altogether. God willing, he’d depart, but I knew better than to put all my eggs in that basket.
A combination of college kids and shift workers boarded, the youth’s boisterous cries rivaling the stern looks of those who’d had a taste of the real world. It was only a matter of time before life shook the youngins down for everything they had too.
A nurse in scrubs juggled a lunch box and dripping umbrella as she passed by, ripping into someone on her headset about missing curfew. Her hands flew wildly as she spoke, sending droplets flying every which way. She reminded me of Nan when us boys would act up, her sweet demeanor gone in a flash when someone stepped out of line.