by Oli White
It was just after one of these mad moments that Ella and I managed to grab our first five minutes of the day alone together. Ella had just introduced The Daughters and we met back in our dressing room, both sweaty after a huge crowd singalong and eager to change into dry clothes. OK, so I admit it: the comment she’d made at brunch had really got to me. And yes, I know it’s better not to just blurt something out after you’ve been turning it over in your mind and winding yourself up about it, but …
‘So, you don’t think what we’re doing is as good as “real TV” then?’ I was doing my utmost to sound light-hearted, but Ella could read me like a book.
‘Oh, I knew you’d take that the wrong way,’ she said, pulling on a fresh T-shirt. ‘I didn’t mean it like that.’
‘I just thought it was slightly dismissive of what we do, that’s all.’
‘Come on, babe, you know that GenNext is everything to me, especially the fact that we get to do it together.’ She gave me the sort of smile a mother might give a stroppy toddler she was trying to appease. ‘I mean, you know I’d love to get into TV presenting eventually. We’ve talked about that.’
We had, sort of. Ella had made no secret of the fact that she wanted to make a career out of her natural abilities in front of a camera. But I’d thought she meant that her career would stay with GenNext.
‘You have, but I suppose I assumed—’
‘I’ve actually been thinking about going to acting classes too,’ she went on. ‘I loved acting when I was younger but with everything else going on I’ve let it go. I used to dream all the time about going to drama school, you know? I’ve been thinking that maybe I could get on to a part-time course or something.’
It struck me suddenly that I wasn’t quite as aware of Ella’s ambitions as I should be. Or maybe I’d been so wrapped up in what we were both doing with GenNext I’d chosen not to hear them. I’d just assumed that we wanted exactly the same things.
‘Right,’ I said.
Ella could read the doubt on my face. ‘I’d make it work with GenNext, Jack. I’m totally committed to it, you know that, I just want to explore the other things I’m passionate about, too. Ava’s going to uni next year, so things are going to change with the group anyway – we’ll have to adjust, but we’ll still be just as strong …’
Her words didn’t particularly reassure me, and I couldn’t help mentioning the other worry that had been swimming around my head. ‘What about taking GenNext to America in the next couple of years? I thought we always said we’d do that if the right opportunity came up – and then the other day, you said—’
Ella stopped in the middle of brushing her hair. ‘Have you been stewing on that for the last two days?’
‘No. Yes. I’ve always thought it was on the cards, and then you go and tell Ethan that you’d never want to work out here. I just felt like I could have done with some prior warning before you announced it to the whole group …’
Outside I could the roar of the crowd as The Daughters finished another song. It suddenly seemed ridiculous to be standing in a Portakabin having an intense discussion about things that were mostly hypothetical when all that magical stuff was happening outside, but the brakes were off and we were rolling down the hill at speed.
‘Look, I’ve spent my whole life moving around because of my dad’s job. I like where I am now,’ Ella said. ‘I don’t know if I can up sticks and move to another country again, just when I’m feeling settled. I finally have good friends and I don’t want to leave them. I know it’s what you want to do, but I’m not sure it’s the right decision for me.’
I got it, I did, but it was so far from where I’d thought we were going that I just couldn’t get my head straight. ‘But … what happened to taking GenNext all the way?’
‘I love GenNext, you know I do. But I have other ambitions too …’
The next words just spilled out of my mouth. ‘What about us?’
Ella put her hands on her hips. ‘There’s no reason for anything to affect us unless we let it, Jack.’
‘Isn’t there?’ I said. I knew I was pushing the argument too far, but I felt totally blindsided. How had I failed to notice that Ella and I wanted different things?
We stood staring at each other for a few moments. ‘I’d better get back out there; The Daughters have almost finished their set,’ I said.
Ella nodded and turned away. ‘I’ll see you later, then.’
I walked out of the cabin and instantly felt horrible. Ella and I never argued – it just didn’t happen. Why hadn’t I waited until we had a quiet moment to discuss all that stuff, instead of blurting it out while we were rushing to get ready? I half turned to go back in and say sorry, but I could hear the final song of The Daughters’ set on stage. I’d send Ella an apologetic WhatsApp for now – and then I’d sort things out with her properly later. Total had been amazing so far, and I wasn’t going to let my own idiocy ruin it.
THE BURRITO
My day didn’t get any better after that. Later that evening – up on stage and chucking a few GenNext T-shirts and caps out to the crowd – I wasn’t feeling so great. In fact, I was feeling worse by the second. The problem seemed to be in the pit of my stomach. Cramps. Pain. Not good. Maybe I shouldn’t have had a second burrito that afternoon, but man, they were just so tasty.
I looked around to see if the DJ was anywhere near ready or if Ella was somewhere in the vicinity to take my place on stage. No sign. By now, I was sweating like a pig in a sausage factory. In a split second my stomach fell like a plunging elevator in a disaster movie and I had the sudden terrible conviction that I was going to throw up.
In the end, I tossed an armful of T-shirts into the cheering crowd, waved half-heartedly at them and then walked as quickly as I could to the stairs at the back of the stage. Once I was out of sight, I tore towards the loos like my life depended on it.
Ella found me in our Portakabin fifteen minutes later. I was sitting on a chair in front of the mirror where the girls did their make-up, panting like I’d run a half-marathon.
If she was still annoyed about our earlier discussion, the sight of me looking so pathetic seemed to put it – temporarily at least – out of her mind. ‘Jack, what’s happened?’ she said. ‘You look awful.’
I dropped my head toward my knees, because holding it up was making me feel dizzy. ‘I think I’ve got food poisoning.’
She knelt down next to me, lifted my head and examined my face, just as Ava, Suki and Austin crashed through the door of the cabin. To my annoyance, Ethan was with them.
‘Is he OK?’ Austin said.
Ava rushed to Ella’s side. ‘Oh my God, Jack. We need to get a doctor.’
I wanted to lift my head and tell them that I’d be fine and that they were all being overly dramatic, as per, but a sudden attack of violent stomach cramps put paid to that.
‘It does sound like food poisoning,’ Austin said. ‘I think you’re done for today, mate. You need to rest up.’
‘What about the schedule?’ I pulled a crumpled piece of paper from my pocket. ‘I’m supposed to be interviewing Beautiful Creatures as soon as they come off stage, and then—’
‘Don’t worry about the bloody schedule,’ Ava said. ‘We’ll sort something out between us.’
As I sat doubled over in agony, Ella rubbing my back, I could hear the others talking quietly behind me about what they were going to do.
‘There’s no way I can do any presenting,’ Ava said. ‘Or Sai. I’m doing most of the filming and liaising with the camera crew, and Sai’s covering the broadcast. Austin, what about—’
‘Me? Ava, come on. You know I’m a behind-the-scenes man. Plus I’ve got all the hand-held stuff to do.’ I could hear the panic in Austin’s voice. He’d done bits and pieces of presenting for GenNext in the past, but I knew that getting up in front of a huge crowd of people was his worst nightmare.
‘I think I might have an idea.’ That was Ethan, cutting in smoothly. ‘I pretty muc
h know your set list off by heart; I’d be more than happy to step into the breach.’
Ella’s back-rub come to an abrupt halt.
‘Ethan, that would be amazing!’ she said. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Honestly, I’d love to help you out, Ella,’ he said. ‘If you think I’d be good enough.’
Hang on. What?!
‘But don’t you have your own job to do?’ I managed to get out, trying to breathe through the pain in my gut. ‘For Owl TV?’
‘I’ve got nothing on for hours,’ Ethan said. ‘Free as a bird.’
‘You’d be doing us a huge favour, mate,’ Austin said gratefully. ‘If you already know the set list, it’s a massive help.’
‘I do, and Ella can hold my hand and guide me through the rest of it, I’m sure.’ I looked up and caught Ethan’s eye as his mouth curled into a smile. It was a small, satisfied smirk and it was exclusively for me.
‘Brilliant! Disaster averted,’ Suki said.
Of course I wanted to object. Of course I wanted to jump up and shout, ‘No way is this happening.’ But I knew what they’d all think: that I was just being difficult or petty. Plus the fact that I didn’t have the strength to argue, let alone jump up. I just wanted to sleep.
As my friends continued to formulate their plan of action – who was going to take me to the medical zone? What was happening next on stage? How were they going to explain my sudden departure to the fans online? – Ethan walked over to me, patting me on the shoulder. ‘You just concentrate on getting better, Jack. I’ll hold the fort with Ella.’ Then he smiled and held out his hand, pointing to the black metal pack on my belt, which was attached to my in-ear monitors. ‘I’ll probably need that, won’t I?’
The next hour was a blur. I spent half of it trying hard not to throw up, and the rest of it having my temperature and blood pressure taken and generally being prodded and poked by the on-site medical team. Then I was given some paracetamol to ease the pain. Eventually I started to feel a little better, and once my stomach had calmed down, Lily came to take me back to the yurt, leaving strict instructions for me to rest and drink lots of water. To be honest, I don’t remember much after that. I think I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow.
When I woke up a few hours later, apart from my still-sore ribs from last night and feeling like I’d been winded, there was little sign of the bodily horror show I’d suffered earlier. I whispered a quick ‘Thank God,’ and reached for my iPhone on the bedside table. It was just after ten.
The first thing I saw was a lengthy message from Mum, asking me how it was all going, reminding me not to party too hard and telling me how annoying some of her customers had been that day at the hairdressing salon. Hmm, nothing out of the ordinary, then – but no mention of Dad either. God, I hoped everything had gone back to normal between them. I sent her a quick ‘Love to you and Dad’ message, and then fired Ella a WhatsApp to let her know I was feeling tons better. Then I drank half a bottle of water and sat back down on the bed, logging on to the GenNext channel just in time to see Ella and Ethan taking to the stage together.
I watched, transfixed, as Ella addressed the crowd. ‘Hi, everyone! I’m very happy to report that our boy Jack is on the mend and will be back on the Total Youth stage, fighting fit, tomorrow.’
I consoled myself with the fact that there was a decent amount of cheering at her announcement, but then Ethan stepped forward, looking slightly awkward in a slim-cut suit and skinny tie. His hair was slicked back and he was wearing Clark Kent glasses.
‘Right, ladies and gentlemen, we have a terrific band …’
Ladies and gentlemen? Terrific band? What the hell did he think he was presenting, the Eurovision Song Contest, 1964? I watched in stunned silence as he pulled a piece of paper from his back pocket and read from it, his face splashed, giant-size, across the video screens at the sides of the stage. ‘They’re all the way from Canada, and they’re called The Outside Girl … I mean, Outside Girls …’
The audience laughed and cheered. How was it that they were finding his awkwardness so endearing? Why wasn’t this guy getting booed off the stage? I slammed the computer shut, took a few deep breaths and fired off a message to the WhatsApp group.
Nobody replied except Lily, who just told me to get some rest, so I opened up my Mac again, eager to check out the GenNext Twitter feed. What did the fans have to say about all this? Quite a lot, at first glance.
Well, that was a relief at least.
But scrolling further forward on the Twitter feed, there seemed to be a worrying shift in opinions.
That last one was too much for me. @Popprince was Kevin Hughes, DJ and entertainment correspondent for all sorts of radio and TV shows, with God knows how many followers. I shut down my computer and stood up, ready to grab my shoes and head out to reclaim my place beside Ella on the stage for the final introduction of the night. That little weasel wasn’t getting away with this. Then something stopped me. I’m not sure exactly what it was; let’s just call it instinct. I’d already had one argument with Ella that day because I’d shot my mouth off without thinking; did I really want to go steaming in there shouting about Ethan and making it worse? In the end, I lay back down on the bed again and closed my eyes, breathing deeply. This is just for tonight, I told myself. You can sort it all out in the morning.
It was just after midnight when Ella came into the yurt. She tried not to make a noise, but I was wide awake anyway. I sat up in bed and smiled. ‘How did it go?’
Ella sat down next to me. ‘Oh God, Jack, it was bloody stressful. I was trying to do a good job, but I was so worried about you.’
‘I’m loads better now,’ I said. ‘I’ll be fine tomorrow.’
She took my hand. ‘Thank God! I can’t go through another day like that. Especially after we had that stupid row and … If it hadn’t been for Ethan …’
‘Yeah, about that.’ I said it as matter-of-factly as I could manage. ‘I imagined he was just going to help with interviews or something. I wasn’t expecting a full-on co-presenting thing.’
‘Oh, that was just … I mean, he literally knew our whole set list, so it made sense for him to co-present … He was a godsend, to be honest.’
‘He was wearing a suit,’ I said, grimacing.
‘I know,’ she laughed. ‘But he is actually very funny. He comes across all dorky, but then he’ll say something really dry that just cracks you up. I spent half the time giggling up there. It seemed like the more uncool he was, the more the audience liked him.’
‘Is that right?
‘Yeah … I mean … You’re not pissed off about it, are you, Jack?’
There was an uncomfortable silence before I slowly shook my head. I wasn’t sure what I felt, to be honest. The worst part of the entire episode was that I’d missed one whole night of the festival, and that really sucked. I would have to make up for it tomorrow for sure. After all, it was the final night.
THE FINAL NIGHT
I felt a hundred times better the next day. It’s like my mum always says: everything looks better after a good night’s sleep. And this was a big day: our main act was playing. Harriet Rushworth.
By the time the Total Youth stage opened that afternoon, I was buzzing again. Even the others ripping it out of me for ‘coming over all faint’ the night before couldn’t take the edge off how excited I was for the final night. Plus, Ethan had made himself scare, and that was something to be happy about as far as I was concerned. The online appreciation of his cute geeky act was still pouring in, so I just didn’t want to see the dude, and the thought of shaking his hand and thanking him (again) for helping out (again) made me want to punch something. Instead, I kept my focus on going over the programme for the evening with the group, keeping up my fluids, and giving the burritos a wide berth. Ella and I didn’t even mention the angry words we’d exchanged the day before, and although there was the slightest undercurrent to our usual laughs and jokes, it was clear that both of us were ignoring it un
til we had time to talk about things properly – in private.
Our priority was to make that night amazing.
After Total Youth opened for the third and final time, Ella and I walked out on stage and the audience went nuts. I looked over at her, wide-eyed, as we headed towards the front amidst deafening cheering. If we thought the crowd had been massive over the past two nights, it had nothing on this. ‘Look how many people there are already!’
‘I reckon everyone wants to get a good spot for Harriet’s set later,’ she said in my ear. ‘It’s gonna bring the house down!’
Once our opening act of the afternoon was up and running, Sai, Ava and Austin came over to join Ella and me in the hospitality area, where we were setting up for the day’s interviews in the tiki hut.
‘Where’s Suki?’ I said.
Ava shrugged. ‘She bumped into some girl from an indie band her company used to manage, and they got chatting. We’ll see her later, I guess.’ She was coming across all casual, but I could tell she was a bit miffed. She’d had the same look on her face the day before, when Suki was all lit up talking to Ethan about that Olympia chick. It made me wonder if maybe Suki’s history with Olympia went deeper than just being uni mates and Ava knew it. It was funny, Ava and Suki seemed to have been getting on really well over the festival, but now Ava was starting to act all distant and annoyed again, just like she did after they broke up.