by Bella Jewel
“I wish every fuckin’ day that I knew what she was doin’, that I knew she was talkin’ to this monster behind my back. I would have stopped her. I would have fuckin’ done somethin’ to make sure she was safe.”
“I know you would have,” I say softly.
“She’s fuckin’ gone, and there wasn’t a single thing I could do about it. Not a fuckin’ thing.”
His voice cracks.
And my heart cracks open.
He loved her; one thing I know for sure, is that King cherished my mother. There is no doubt in my mind of that fact, and I know that he blames himself for not knowing, for not being there and for not stopping what happened that horrible day.
None of us could have saved her. That’s the honest truth.
“This is all so much,” I whisper, shaking my head. “I have a sister. Is she ... still alive?”
“As far as I know, she is, but I can’t be certain of that. Been tryin’ to track her down for a long fuckin’ time now but haven’t had much luck. I’ve got a few leads, and I’m lookin’ into them, but the only way I can do that is for Dax not to know I’m alive. But, things are changin’ now, Alarick is goin’ in and you’re all involved.”
“Does that mean you’re coming out and letting them all know you’re alive?”
King shakes his head. “No, I’m better off bein’ a hidden part of this still. One advantage we all have is that Dax doesn’t know I’m alive. I can be lookin’ into this on the downlow, and right now, we all need this. Alarick isn’t goin’ to stop now, I know that, and no matter how much I might want him to, he’s in it for the long haul so I gotta make sure he comes out of it alive.”
“You’re right, he’s not going to stop,” I say softly. “Neither am I, especially now I have even more reason to want that piece of crap out of the picture.”
“I know you do, but you gotta promise me you’ll follow Alarick’s instructions. No matter how you feel. He knows what he’s doin’, he took over that club knowing what he’s doin’. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have even been able to ...”
He trails off, and I narrow my eyes.
“You wouldn’t have even been able to what?”
“It’s nothing, wrong sentence,” King murmurs.
Wait a second.
Wait a damned second.
“Alarick knows you’re alive,” I say, my voice shocked.
“Briella ...”
“All this time, he’s known you’re alive?”
“It’s not what you think.”
“Oh, my god,” I say, standing. “You have made me keep this a secret from him, when all along he knows you’re not dead anyway. Not to mention he’s lied to me all of these years ...”
“I didn’t want you to tell him because he don’t know I’m here, he thinks I’m still overseas. If he knows I’m here, it’ll throw him off. I don’t want him worryin’ about what I’m doin’. I want to watch without anyone knowin’ about it, and I need you to promise me you’re goin’ to make sure that happens.”
“You’re asking me to go back there, keep pretending that I don’t know, he knows, and forget that everyone around me is a god damned liar.”
“Briella ...”
“I’ve lost everything, King. Everything. Now I find out I’ve got a sister out there, maybe alive, maybe dead, and you want me to just sit back and pretend I know nothing.”
“Briella,” King orders. “I’m askin’ you to trust me.”
“I don’t trust you,” I cry out, throwing my hands out. “God dammit, I don’t even know if I trust myself right now. Everything is a mess, and I’m terrified. I’m terrified of what’s about to happen in our worlds, and the fact that I can do nothing to control it. Alarick has known all along that you’re not dead, and he has lied to me about it.”
“He has done what I’ve asked. He has protected that club. That’s his job and you can’t make him feel any less for it.”
“I’m his partner,” I whisper. “If he can’t trust me, then who can he trust?”
“Briella, think this through. Think about everythin’ that’ll go wrong if you call him out on this. I need you to do this for me, to keep this quiet. If there is anythin’ in the world you can do right now, do that.”
I exhale, because I’m not going to risk getting my sister who I’ve never met back, even if it means I have to walk around pretending I don’t know.
“Your secret is safe with me. But I have to know everything there is to know about Dax. Where is he located? I know you know, and I want to know where that is. I want to help Alarick so he’s able to get closer, quicker.”
“He’s at a large reserve outside of town, about an hour. It’s not easy to find, it’s private land and it’s heavily secured. You can’t just go galivanting onto it. That man will see you coming, and he’ll have you restrained before you can even think about getting in.”
That man doesn’t know me, then. Does he?
“We’ve got a girl, set her up to go in and work from the inside. She’s unknown to Dax, and he doesn’t know she’s working with us. It’s our only chance of getting inside.”
King looks to me. “That’s fuckin’ dangerous. If he finds out, that girl will die a fuckin’ painful and agonizing death. Is that somethin’ you can all live with?”
“No,” I whisper. “But it isn’t my call, King. It’s Alarick’s.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
“I hope he knows what he’s doin’, but I don’t think he’s goin’ to fully grasp it until he sees the real monster he’s dealin’ with. When he does, he’s goin’ to wish this would all fuckin’ go away.”
“It’s too late for that now.”
“Yeah, it is.”
We have to move forward now.
Even if we don’t want to.
Even if we’re scared.
We simply have no other choice.
“CAN I TRUST YOU, KAREN?” I say, glancing around the café.
Cohen and Kendric are sitting a few tables down, having some lunch, and they’re deep in conversation so they’re not listening to us. I begged Alarick to let me come and see Karen for lunch, and he agreed, but only with Cohen and Kendric coming with me. I wasn’t going to complain, I needed someone to talk to more than anything and I would take whatever terms came with that.
“Of course, is everything okay?”
I exhale and glance at the guys again. Then I tell her part of the truth, not all of it, just part of it. “I found out I have a sister.”
“What?” she gasps quietly.
“I can’t say where I found it out, but it turns out that’s what my mother was doing with Dax and that’s what she was looking for when she died. Then Magnolia died looking for information about Mom. I don’t know if she found out too, but the fact is there is a girl out there, sold somewhere in this world, and she is my very own blood.”
“Oh my god, that’s ... I don’t know what to say about that. Have you told Alarick?”
“No, nobody knows except me and you for now. He’s got enough to worry about, and I can’t risk anything happening to him if he gets distracted. But now more than ever, we need to bring Dax down. He has the information, the key. He knows where my sister is, and he’s the only person who does.”
“I’m so sorry, honey. Like you haven’t been dealt enough blows, now this.”
“It means I have family out there somewhere. I need to find her.”
Karen nods. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”
“I have to follow Alarick’s lead, which I’m okay with, but knowing he’s out there, hurting women ... it just kills me. I found out he lives in a reserve about an hour out of town, have you ever heard of anything out there?”
Karen ponders this for a moment, and then says, “Now you mention it, yes. Years ago I went to a party out there with Magnolia and some of her friends. I didn’t know at the time she could have been looking into things, I just thought we were going for some fun. It was a hu
ge party, in this massive house with all this land. I don’t remember anything weird about that place, but it was about an hour out.”
“Heavily secured?”
“At that point, I wasn’t honestly paying attention, though I did notice security cameras. I figured everyone had those. Do you think it was his house?”
“It’s possible, though I can’t see him letting people just know where he lives.”
“No, but on the same note, it keeps his place looking completely normal. I have no doubt it’s not the only place he operates out of. Someone like that would have many locations where he runs his business, so to speak. I just think that’s where he lives.”
“I wonder if we could get in there?” I say, softly. “Do you think he would have the information on the girls there?”
“That doesn’t seem like a safe idea. It was a massive house, and there was a lot of land. We don’t know what kind of security he would have on that land.”
She’s right.
I know she’s right.
But something inside of me is just screaming at me that I can’t let this go.
That I need to find as much as information as I can.
“You won’t go in there, will you?” Karen asks, narrowing her eyes. “I love you, Briella, but even I am going to tell you that that would be a stupid idea.”
I glance at her, and I know I have to lie right now. I hate lying, but the truth is, I’m not entirely sure I’ll be able to stop myself from going and, at the very least, looking at that house. To see where it is. To find out if it’s even at all possible to get in.
“No,” I say, my voice not at all believable. “I won’t go looking.”
She exhales. “Please, promise me you won’t. You’ll get killed, and I don’t think I can handle any more death.”
Me and her both.
“It’s fine, I won’t go in there.”
I change the subject, because the idea of lying to one of the only friends I have makes me sick to my stomach.
I just can’t seem to let this go.
Knowing Cova is out there, at least, possibly, is enough to make me feel slightly crazy inside. Is it because she may be the only family I have left? Probably. Either way, if she’s all I have left, then I have to do what I can for her. I have to find her. The only way to find her is to get hold of Dax, and the only way to do that is to find where he lives so we’re able to work faster.
Waverly is a good idea and getting her on the inside is great.
But if we can find out what’s happening out there a little quicker.
That will be great, too.
I’m doing the wrong thing, I know I am.
So why can’t I stop myself?
10
FLICK
“Karen, what’re you doing here?” I say, staring at Karen who is at my door, her hand held high mid knock.
She puts her hand to her side and looks around awkwardly. What is it with girls? You fuck them a few times and suddenly you can’t have a normal conversation with them without it turning fucking awkward. I have no idea, but I do know that I’m more than happy to fucking get this over and done with just to relieve her of whatever she’s feeling right now, because it doesn’t look like she’s enjoying herself.
“Sorry to bother you, I just ... I don’t even know if I should be here but I’m worried about Briella and I needed to talk to you.”
I narrow my eyes.
Well now she’s gotten my attention.
And for good reason, too.
Briella has been acting fucking shady the last three days. She barely talks to me, she’s off in her own little world, she’s distracted and constantly on her phone researching something. Whatever she’s doing, it’s definitely got her full attention.
“Take a seat,” I say, pointing to the chair across from me.
Karen walks in and sits down, putting her hands on her knees, and then taking them off before crossing her legs. Then she uncrosses them and just exhales.
She really isn’t comfortable.
“First of all, we’re friends, Karen. No need to feel uncomfortable here. You feel me?”
She nods quickly. “Sure, yeah, it’s not just that. I feel like I’m stabbing my best friend in the back being here, I really do. She confided in me, trusted me, and I’m here about to throw her under the bus.”
“If it means she stays safe, I think it’s worth the risk. So do you, or you wouldn’t be here.”
“It’s just ... I haven’t seen her today and I’ve tried calling, and she’s just so distant. She made me a promise, but I don’t think she’s keeping that promise. I tried to talk to her about it, but she just shuts down and tells me I’m worrying over nothing, but I don’t think I am. If I don’t say something to you, and something happens to her, then I’ll never forgive myself.”
“Start talkin’, Karen,” I urge, because come to think of it, I haven’t seen Briella today either.
I make a note to call Mykel to see if he’s still got eyes on her.
She can’t go too far when she knows she’s being watched.
“She came to me probably four days ago and told me she found out she has a sister. A sister that was sold by Dax and that was the reason her mom got killed, because she was trying to find her. She said she also has an idea where Dax lives, and said something about breaking in to find information. I made her promise she wouldn’t, but ... I don’t trust that.”
My blood runs cold.
How in the ever-loving hell did Briella find out about Cova?
I’ve known about Cova for a long time, I also know that my dad has been spending every waking hour of his life trying to find her. What I don’t know is how the fuck Briella found out. Better yet, how the fuck she knows where Dax lives.
I stand, my seat skidding backward. “We need to find her, now.”
I know Briella, I know her better than anyone.
She’s not going to stop until she finds Cova.
She’s not going to let this one go.
She’ll get herself killed.
Karen stands and the two of us rush out the door, me on my phone calling Mykel.
“Yo,” he answers.
“Tell me you’re with Briella?”
“Yeah, she’s sittin’ at Cohen’s joint on his laptop. Got eyes on her right now. Why’s that?”
“Tell her not to move.”
I hang up and turn to Karen. “I gotta go stop this shit before it goes further. Appreciate you tellin’ me.”
Karen nods, but she already looks like she’s regretting it.
I don’t have time to worry about that right now.
I get into my truck and hot tail it over to Cohen’s, my mind racing the entire time. What the actual fuck is happening right now.
How does Briella know all of this stuff?
Better yet, why is she keeping it from me?
Fuck.
This is not good.
It’s not good at all.
“WHAT’S GOING ON, FLICK?” Briella asks me when I practically haul her up and drag her outside so we can talk.
I narrow my eyes, and in a rough voice, I say, “I’ll give you one chance to tell me what you know, how you know it, and explain why the fuck you’re thinkin’ of riskin’ your own life. Go.”
She stares at me, narrowing her eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”
“Do not fuckin’ lie to me, Briella. I can handle a lot of things, lyin’ ain’t one of them. Now speak, or I’ll make you speak.”
I’m angry, fucking wild.
She’s keeping shit from me, and she’s doing it with the inteintion of sneaking around behind my back for her own answers.
I’m not okay with that.
At-fucking-all.
“Excuse me?” she whispers, her voice low and angry. “Me? A liar?”
Fuck.
“We’re not here to play games, Karen came and told me everything. Now you tell me the fuckin’ truth.”
For a moment, Briella looks like someone has slapped her. Betrayal washes over her face, and she jerks back just a little. Then, I see the same wild anger I’m feeling fill her features. She steps closer and growls, “The truth? Are you serious right now, Alarick? The fucking truth? You’re as big of a god damned liar!”
“How did you find out about Cova?” I demand.
She looks startled for a moment, completely shocked. “What?” she gasps.
“Cova, who the fuck told you about her?”
“You knew about Cova?”
Fuck.
I stare at her, and the realization that she had no idea I knew becomes apparent as the betrayal in her face becomes so deep I can feel her pain.
“Briella ...”
“You knew about Cova?” she screams, stepping closer again. “For how long?”
“Briella ...”
“How long, Alarick?”
“For fuckin’ years,” I bark.
She looks like I’ve just ripped her heart out and stomped on it.
“All these years, all that time, you’ve seen me suffer and you’ve watched me sink and all along you knew I had a sister out there. All along you knew why my mother got killed.”
“I didn’t fuckin’ know it back then,” I tell her, but it’s beside the point. “I only found out after you’d gone.”
“You. Still. Knew.”
“I had good fuckin’ reason to keep it from you. It’s dangerous, and it wasn’t worth the risk of gettin’ you killed tryin’ to find her.”
“That wasn’t your call to make!”
“I didn’t fuckin’ make the call,” I bellow.
“No, King did, right?” she laughs bitterly. “He makes all the calls and you just go along with it, like a good little boy.”
“You fuckin’ watch your god damned mouth,” I growl.
“How long did you know he was alive?” she snarls, her face so fucking angry it’s hard to see and not want to pull her in and make this whole fucking thing better.
“I’ve known the whole time,” I say, my voice scarily calm all of a sudden.
A tear breaks forth and rolls down her cheeks. “All this time, all these years, all this pain, and you knew two of the biggest secrets of my world. You knew them and you didn’t share them with me. You didn’t even try to share them with me. We are supposed to trust each other, supposed to love each other. I understand King, I do. I know you were doing what you had to, to keep the club safe, but Cova? I will never understand why you didn’t share that with me. Not ever.”