by West, Jade
She had a point. I hadn’t exactly thrown myself into socials, not outside of finding randoms to attempt to give me an orgasm and the odd night out with work friends. Fear, I guess. That constant concern of having a seizure out amongst a load of people having a good time, and trashing a hole in the middle of their fun.
That and not being able to drink while they were downing plenty.
“Alright,” I said. “You’re right. But what am I supposed to do? I’m not exactly ditching offers all over the place.”
She scowled at that.
“Bullshit. There’s a school reunion down at Casey’s in a few weeks you haven’t signed up for, and Lisa had a birthday drink down at Oscars last Saturday and you didn’t bother coming.”
I nodded, because that was true, but she kept on going.
“You haven’t replied to Amy Miller’s wedding after party invite, and that’s two weeks off. And I’ve got my bloody girls’ night next Friday and you haven’t even told me you’re coming to that. Plus, Emma Staplow has some makeup sales party at hers on the nineteenth. Do I need to tell you any more?”
No. She didn’t need to tell me more.
Vicky came through the front door with a hello at that minute and headed on through, and Nicola brought her up to speed with her lack of socials assault on me.
Predictably, Vicky was all nods. “Don’t say you can’t get over Lucas Pierce if you don’t even try to have any fun in your life.”
“Alright,” I told them. “And if I try to have fun in my life and bundle myself along to all these socials, and I still don’t get over Lucas Pierce, does that mean you’ll give us another try?”
They looked at each other before they spoke, but it was only for a second before their response came out in unison.
“No.”
“No,” Nicola repeated. “I’ll never give you and Lucas Pierce another try. He’s a cunt and a prick, and I can’t stand the sight of him. You’re worth a whole lot more than that waste of space, Anna.”
“No,” Vicky added. “He’s a cunt and a prick, and I can’t stand the sight of him. Get back with Sebastian.”
So, I shrugged.
I shrugged and brushed it aside and sank back into the sofa cushions and accepted the storm was still raging as hard as ever.
And then I agreed to their onslaught of fun, and watched as they signed me up to the bank of socials and told everyone I was coming.
At least it was worth a damn shot to get them on side eventually, even if it took another whole damn decade.
I’d be praying.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lucas
I tried to find a scrap of optimism through Sunday afternoon, but it was a pointless exercise. I knew Hannah Ames would be straight onto Maya with the gossip just as soon as she had the chance, and I knew Maya would be straight onto my mother.
I tried all over again to get some time with Millie before the weekend drew to a close, but Maya wouldn’t answer my calls, and when I turned up at her place to try harder in person, her car was gone from the drive.
So I cursed her for her vile bout of punishment all over again, and I went home.
It already felt empty without Anna. The rooms felt bare, and Bill and Ted already looked behind me to see if she was following me through. I gave them a decent fuss and extra treats and played ball in the garden, and it was a regular day in my regular world minus Millie, but that whole world felt so much shitter without Anna’s smile.
I kept looking at my phone for messages, but none came through. I ate another portion of lasagne, staring hard at the empty space opposite me at the table, then handed a chunk to the dogs. And then I opened a bottle of wine, and smoked cigarettes, and stared out at the night sky over the horizon.
I only wished Anna was there to see it with me.
I wished she was there to open her mouth nice and wide to take a fresh round of dirty panties, and then smile her filthy smile as she watched me jerk my cock over tainted white lace.
But she wasn’t.
She wasn’t there and I’d better get used to it.
There was still nothing from Anna, or Maya, or my mother before I showered for bed. I sent off one final text to my bitch of a co-parent asking for time with my daughter, but this time it didn’t even show as delivered.
The night made it even worse of a contrast without Anna there in my arms.
I slipped into bed and the covers smelt like black cherry and sea. I pulled her pillow over from her side and held it tight. Breathed her in. And I prayed.
I prayed for another shot at another life.
I prayed that we’d make it through to the other side of this hell with our hands holding tight.
I prayed that Maya wouldn’t use Millie to destroy my world beyond repair.
But still, I also knew that prayers never go answered. At least not when they’re coming from me. I smiled before I finally drifted to sleep, remembering the sparkle in Anna’s eyes every time she tossed a coin into the Neptune fountain, and I wondered if she’d already tossed one in there and wished for us.
I’d sure be grateful to be proved wrong and that fountain to fucking deliver.
I held onto that thought until the night finally sucked me up into the darkness.
There were still no messages the next morning. I went about my usual business and suited myself up smart. I put Anna’s filthy panties back in my pocket and let the dogs out before setting off, and made my way into my working week.
It was a busy Monday, and busy Tuesday to match. Keith and Ralph had a shit ton of reports to push on with, and we had to drag Moose in on Wednesday, which was always a whole fresh round of a battle. Anna and I texted, but it felt distant, no matter what we said. It was never a substitute for having her in my arms. Plus, we never had an answer. Not anything that sounded truly positive to make it through this with everyone on side.
I jerked off into those filthy panties every night of the week, and several snippets of afternoons on top. It was a welcome relief, sure, but not anywhere near enough for thoughts of my dirty minx not to drive me fucking crazy through every fucking lousy minute.
It was Thursday evening when I first got a message through from my mother. I was already churning sick without a response back from Maya, with the inevitable pang of fear stabbing every time I weighed up what options I had to take.
Her message was short and sharp and unforgiving.
Sort yourself the hell out, Lucas. Don’t you dare lose Maya and Millie.
Like I wasn’t fucking trying to see my fucking daughter.
I was back in my office and feeling the pressure by the time my Friday afternoon took a turn for the better. A parcel landed on my desk from one of the reception team, and looked quite a strange little spectacle.
I turned it over in my hands, puzzled to shit as I wondered what the hell it was. It was hand scrawled with nothing but a simple Lucas Pierce, Director of Security and Cryptology on the front, and my heart leapt as I recognised the scribble.
No. Fucking. Way.
It had already been opened to check it passed through security clearance, and I laughed out loud when I tipped the contents out on my desk.
Pink lace, still wet at the crotch, a perfect gift on a dull as hell work day.
I checked there was nobody lurking outside my room before I unzipped and worked that fresh pair of panties up and down my cock. I was rock hard and throbbing in barely a minute, well on my way to shooting my load by the time I called up my phone camera and fired her a photo message.
Nice present, you dirty little minx.
I added a tongue out emoticon, and she sent one right back.
And then she sent kisses.
I didn’t know how the hell she’d made it over with the parcel without racing through her lunch break at lightning speed, but I was equally quick in my response, calling up her name online and finding her photo and title in the PR section of Lewton’s Consultancy.
I scrawled down their address
on an envelope of my own, then grunted hard as I shot one hell of a fucking load onto those filthy fucking panties and wiped up every fucking drip from my cock.
Oh yes, Anna, my sweet fucking love. Take this.
I was smirking as I summoned a courier via reception, and still trying to hold back the grin under a guise of professionalism as they came to collect my package.
“Anna Blackwell, direct into her hands, please.”
My instructions were clear, and I reclined in my chair until the ping came through, barely twenty minutes later.
OMG, Lucas. Just OMFG!!
My reply was sent in a heartbeat.
Send me a picture of you enjoying the gift. I’m waiting.
I hovered around my desk for another few minutes, dragging the wait out as long as possible considering I had a meeting to head into. It seemed she was in the same predicament as I was.
I can’t, her message read. I have a team discussion about Kershaw’s.
My mouth was watering as I typed.
Fuck Kershaw’s. Go to the bathroom and send me that pic.
Another tongue out smiley came through and I waited as long as I dared before I joined Ralph in the meeting room and waited for the rest of the security management team to make their appearance.
The seats were full and conversation was buzzing heavy by the time my phone next vibrated in my pocket. And I couldn’t stop myself sneaking a glance at my photo message. Not for a second.
Oh fuck.
It was fucking glorious.
She had her head tipped to the side, eyes on the camera as she held those panties up nice and high against her open mouth. Her tongue was stretched out and lapping at the filthy crotch, and she was smiling. Smirking. Loving it. Her eyes were twinkling damn fucking bright enough for my balls to ache at the sight.
I need to see you, I typed before the meeting got off to its full start. Fuck this hell, I need to fucking see you.
I’d done my overview of the month’s project and Ralph was onto his presentation by the time my phone buzzed again.
I need to see you, too, she told me. Seriously, Lucas, I couldn’t stay away if I tried.
I forced myself to concentrate through the rest of the management session but my mind was focused on a whole other tune when I arrived back at my desk. I pulled up Maya’s number and mustered up a whole new round of strength as I typed out another new message.
I needed this hell to move forward.
I needed to sort out my damn schedule.
If you don’t tell me when I can see my daughter, I’ll have to find another way to gain access. I mean it. I’m done with this utter bullshit.
I wasn’t expecting a reply so quickly. Not after so much radio silence.
I’m done with this utter bullshit too, Lucas. How about you ask Anna Blackwell what time she can fit Millie in? Oh, except you can fuck off. Millie is busy with me this weekend. We’re going away.
I tossed my phone across the desk.
Thank you, Hannah fucking Ames.
Just what this situation fucking needed.
I caught my breath and thought out my options before I opted for another message.
I’d play hardball. I was out of choices with no pot to piss in. Not anymore.
I fucking mean it, Maya. I’ll find another way to gain access. I’m not staying away from Millie.
Whatever I expected in response was nothing as simple or as bold as the text that pinged back through.
It said it all, and I was scared as I read it. Really fucking scared of what lay ahead.
You can try, Lucas. Stay away from Anna Blackwell, or I’ll see you in court.
Jesus fucking Christ.
The stormy sky just got a hell of a whole load darker overhead.
But still, I couldn’t stay away from Anna Blackwell. No matter how hard Maya lashed out at me.
Anna’s was the number I next called up, and my words were as just as needy as my thoughts.
I’ll be wherever you want me to be, sweetheart. Just tell me when. And make it damn quick.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Anna
It had been a long week. Seriously long.
I’d been playing smiles and trying to avoid tough conversations with just about everyone who would tell me that Lucas was the world’s biggest prick over and over. I’d been trying to keep myself in line, and sleep, and eat, and do well at work without going crazy, and I’d managed it. Just one little blip of a seizure while I was waiting to go into a meeting on Thursday. I could cope with that.
But over the top of it all, I’d been trying to survive on nothing but a stream of text messages from Lucas as the days wore on.
I was totally sick of it and needed more.
But it wouldn’t be that night, not while Nicola was hosting her girls’ night at hers and I’d promised I was going. I dressed up in one of my decent red dresses and styled my hair in curls. Vicky and I stood side by side in front of the mirror as we both applied our makeup, and she was waffling on about just how much fun it was going to be.
I made sure my cigarettes were buried deep in my handbag while she was grabbing her two bottles of wine, and then we set off, piling into the taxi and heading across town to Nicola’s.
I expected quite a gathering in her living room, because that’s how Nicola works. She loves crowds, and laughter and stupid party games after too many wines.
But not me, especially not that night.
I was anything but excited as I stepped on through her front door, knowing full well how she would likely get preachy after a couple of glasses and I’d be sitting sober at the sidelines taking it all.
That’s what I figured was coming, and I was fine with that. I could handle that.
What I wasn’t expecting was for Nicola to have stocked up on Maya Brooks-now-Pierce’s best friend club. There they were, sitting around the coffee table along with the regular crew. Dawn Richards, and Yasmin Boyle and Hannah Ames.
Great.
Just fucking great.
My level of cringe just reached a new high. Awkward didn’t even begin to cut it.
Hannah shot me an evil stare as soon as I stepped on through, and Dawn sneered as I took a seat opposite. Thanks, Nicola. Great show.
Not only had Dawn and Hannah clearly organised the evening around their kids and work shifts and everything else just to be there, but I hadn’t seen Yasmin Boyle in years, so Nicola must have gone to some seriously exceptional lengths to bring her into the crowd. She’d moved up to Newcastle years ago, and rarely came back around these parts. Not that I’d ever heard of.
Even better. Thanks.
Vicky smirked from my side, and I realised then that she’d been in on it. Another winner.
The cigarettes were already screaming from my handbag, but I kept my seat as Nicola handed me a juice from the kitchen. She clinked her glass to mine and looked triumphant, and sure, I could get her sense of victory. If that seemed like a way to drag me out of my madness, then I had no doubt she’d have jumped in on the strategy at any cost.
But getting Dawn Richards along? Surely that was stooping to a whole new low.
She was Maya’s wing woman. People had said over the years that they were constantly whispering in each other’s ears like the Bitches of Eastwick. I was just lucky Nicola hadn’t opted to invite Maya along herself in person.
It was only Yasmin Boyle who looked awkward amongst the scowls. She was already deep into her bottle of sparkling, and we shared a whoa, great glance as Amy Miller started up another one of her looming wedding conversations.
I was grateful for the distraction. I’d talk about bridesmaid dresses for the next twenty-four hours straight if it meant even two minutes clear of the Maya posse.
But we didn’t talk about bridesmaid dresses for all that long. Even Amy Miller stopped talking weddings once the wine got truly flowing. I sank into the sofa and kept quiet, smiling as blandly as possible while Maya’s bunch kept up their scowls.
/> And then they started talking.
Dawn was the one to bring it up, telling the room just how much Maya had been struggling in recent months.
“It’s so hard on her,” she said. “I mean, Lucas usually bails when things get a bit tough, but this time he’s really being a dick about it.”
I wanted to say so much, but I didn’t dare, just kept quiet and sipped on juice while the rest of the girls tuned in to the gossip.
“She’s waiting for him to go back, of course,” Dawn continued. “I mean, she has Millie there crying for family life back together, and Maya’s trying, but this time Lucas just doesn’t seem to want to sort things out. Not yet, anyway.”
“But he will,” Hannah chipped in. “I mean, of course he will. He has Millie to get back to, and they’ll sort it out. They always do. Just so long as nothing else gets in the way.”
Oh yeah. The tension was savage, and I hated it.
I hated how every pair of eyes in the room were fixed on me, and I carried on sipping my drink, craving a cigarette and cursing Nicola’s fantastic wisdom in all of this.
“He needs to get his act together,” Dawn went on. “Sure, Maya left. But that’s because he was being such a total asshole, drinking and watching disgusting weirdo porn late at night, and doing just about anything other than being how he fucking should be.”
And that was enough.
I put my glass down on the side and grabbed the box of cruddy party games from the bottom shelf of the coffee table and cleared my throat.
“Time we got this out,” I said. “Let’s get this party started and stop with the bitching.”
“It’s not bitching,” Hannah said. “It’s talking about friends and their problems.”
“Oh, it’s bitching,” I said, and took the lid off the box. “Let’s just play a game and forget about it, shall we?”
Several of the girls edged forward to get involved in the box unveiling, and Amy Miller even mucked in and pulled the snakes and ladders out, but it seems Dawn wasn’t quite prepared to let it go.