by Holly Renee
I jerked my arm out of her touch, but when I headed in Josie’s direction again, she was gone.
And Cami’s words kept running through my head over and over as I tried to find her. I didn’t need a reminder of what Lucas had done or what I had caused. Both of those things constantly lived at the front of my mind, and I didn’t think that I would forget either of them anytime soon.
Chapter Thirteen
Josie
Today had been busier than usual.
My feet were killing me, but I was thankful for the distraction. Because anytime I let myself think for too long, all I could see was Beck with Cami in his arms.
He had her in his arms the moment he left me. The moment I pushed him away.
"Have you decided on what you would like?" I pushed my hair out of my face and looked down at the two men who had already drunk two glasses of whiskey each.
I barely heard them as they ordered, and I tried to ignore the way the one on my right kept smiling at me the entire time.
He was still smiling at me as I walked away, but I didn’t care.
I didn’t smile back or give a crap if he thought I was being rude.
"You okay?" Allie saddled up next to me as I put in their order, and I tried to relax my shoulders.
"Yeah. I’m just tired."
"Let’s do something tonight. You need to relax."
"I have school tomorrow and so do you."
Allie held her hand up to her ear as if she was holding a phone. "Bring. Bring. Yes. This is Mrs. Vos. Sweet ole Josie came down with a cold last night, and she won’t be at school today."
I laughed and tucked my pen back into my apron. "You’d do that for me?"
"Bitch, I would do much more than that."
I knew she was being honest, and after last night, I knew she was right. I did need to relax. We both did.
"Okay. Yeah. Let’s do it."
"Sweet." She held up her hand, and I high-fived her. "Only an hour more of this bullshit then it’s girls’ night."
The next hour passed by quickly, and I was eager to leave by the time Allie and I clocked out and headed toward the door. We were almost there when I spotted a head of dark brown hair in the hallway, and I quickly pulled Allie in that direction without a second thought.
"Hey." I held Allie’s hand in mine, and I tried not to second-guess what I was doing.
"Oh, hi." Frankie put her hand over her chest as if we had scared her.
"What are you doing here so late?" It was only eight-thirty, but I didn’t know what teen spent their Sunday evening in an old country club unless they had to.
"I had to drop off a few things for my dad.” She held up her keys. "I was just leaving."
There was an awkward silence between us, but Allie quickly filled it. She held her hand out toward Frankie. "I’m Allie. I know we’ve met but not officially."
"It’s nice to officially meet you, Allie. I’m Frankie." They both smiled at each other, and I couldn’t help asking what I did next.
"We’re having a girls’ night and playing hooky tomorrow." I blurted, and Allie’s hand tightened in mine. "Do you want to join us?"
Frankie looked hesitantly between the two of us. "What are you going to do?"
"Eat some greasy food, maybe park by the beach for a while, play truth or dare. Who knows!" Allie’s answer was far too excited, but it brought a quick smile to Frankie’s face.
"I’m in. Can you all pick me up at my house so I can change?"
"Of course," Allie answered before I could. "We need to change too."
"We’ll meet you there in an hour?" I asked, and Frankie nodded.
We parted ways, and I tried not to obsess over the fact that I had invited Beck’s sister to hang out with us while Allie and I changed clothes at her house. I didn’t even bother going home. I sent a quick text to my dad letting him know I was going to stay the night with Allie and go to school from there.
He didn’t bother responding, and I didn’t really care.
Allie didn’t even attempt to lie to her parents. She simply told them that we were in desperate need of a girls’ night and would be skipping school tomorrow.
Her dad gave us each twenty bucks as we walked out the door, and her mom hollered for her to find a boyfriend while we were out.
"Your parents really are the coolest." We had just pulled up to Frankie’s house, and I couldn’t stop my foot from bouncing as we waited for her.
"I know. They are a little too into PDA, but otherwise, I can’t complain."
I laughed because she wasn’t wrong. When we walked into her house tonight, the two of them had been making out on the couch like a couple of teenagers.
"There she is." Allie pointed to the side door near the garage where Frankie was hurrying out of the house with a small bag over her shoulder.
I breathed a sigh of relief when she walked toward us alone, but it was only a moment later when light shot out from behind her and Beck stormed toward the car.
I stared straight ahead and tried to avoid looking at him entirely.
Frankie smiled at us before opening the back door and throwing her bag into the back seat.
"Beck, I’ll be fine. Go." She sounded so frustrated as she climbed in the back seat, but Beck wasn’t having any of it. He was still storming our way, and he looked pissed.
"Can I have a word with you?" He was looking straight at me, but I still looked behind me to Frankie and Allie as if he was talking to one of them.
"Me?" I pointed to my chest.
"Yes. You." He leaned into my window and rested his arms on the window seal. "Frankie’s not going with you all unless I talk to you first."
Frankie groaned, and I knew he was embarrassing her. "You are not my dad, Beck."
"It doesn’t matter, Frank." He didn’t look at her as he spoke. He was still staring down at me.
I unbuckled my seat belt, and he took a step back once I opened the door. I followed him a few steps away from the car and crossed my arms over my chest as I looked at him. "What?"
He ran his fingers through his hair, and for a moment, I was actually really concerned about what he was going to say. "I know you’re mad at me, but please don’t hurt her."
"What?" He was out of his mind.
"Frankie."
"I know who you are talking about. What I don’t understand is why the hell you would think that I would hurt her."
He searched my face for a moment, and I knew then that it was because he had chosen to hurt me. "I’m not you, Beck. I would never do that to her."
"I know you wouldn’t." He shook his head, but he didn’t mean what he had just said. "But Frankie is important to me, and she’s already been hurt so much. If you’re mad at me, take it out on me. Not her."
"I’m not mad at you."
"Aren’t you?" He stepped closer to me, and the smell of his cologne wrapped around me. "You acted mad at the charity event."
I bit down on my bottom lip because I didn’t know what he wanted me to say. Of course, I was mad at him, but I was madder at myself. I was mad because I couldn’t fucking remember that I wasn’t supposed to like him. That he wasn’t good for me in any way.
"I came to my senses at the event. What did you want me to do? Spend the night dancing in a garden with the guy who fucked me then showed the whole world?"
He flinched at my words, just slightly, but it was plenty enough for me to notice. "That is not what happened."
"According to you." I poked my finger into his chest and moved closer to him. "But from this side of the fence, that’s exactly what happened. It doesn’t matter how well you can spin the story otherwise. The only truth that matters right now is mine, and in my truth, you are toxic, Beck."
I shouldn’t have watched his eyes as I said the words. I shouldn’t have allowed the slight hurt that filled them to affect me the way it did, but I couldn’t help it.
Everything about him affected me. It was part of the reason he was so bad for me.
> I should have been able to walk away from him without a second thought, but even now, so much of me wanted to wrap my arms around him and pretend like nothing bad had happened between us.
"You’re right." He backed away from me, and I wanted to reach out and stop him. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. I wanted to do anything other than what we were doing. "Please be careful with whatever the hell the three of you are getting into tonight. Frankie hasn’t been out with friends in a long time."
Not since Lucas. I knew what he was saying without him ever actually saying it.
"I won’t let anything happen to her." I looked back toward the car, and Frankie and Allie were both staring out the windows at us while talking.
"Okay." Beck nodded, then walked past me without another word, and I hated it. I didn’t know what I wanted or expected. I had just told him that he was toxic, yet I still wanted him to push me, I wanted him to demand more from me than I was easily willing to give.
And that was so fucked up.
"You all have fun." Beck was standing by Frankie’s window as I climbed back in the car. "Call me if you need me. If you all get arrested, call me, not Dad."
"We are not going to get arrested." Allie laughed, but Beck didn’t look like he believed her.
"With you three, who knows what could happen."
"Fine," Frankie replied to him, but she didn’t look pleased at all by his overprotectiveness. "I will text you later."
Her answer seemed to suffice Beck, and he nodded before leaning into my window slightly. "Allie, drive carefully, please."
She saluted him with her hand. "Aye, aye, Captain."
He rolled his eyes but put his hand down on mine where it rested on the window seal. He didn’t say a word to me as he gently squeezed it, then backed away from the car. Allie started the engine and began pulling away.
"Oh my God. I’m so embarrassed." Frankie buried her face in her hands, but I was still looking back at Beck. He was running his hands through his hair in that way he did any time he got frustrated, and I knew that he was honestly worried about Frankie going out with us tonight.
"Do not be embarrassed. We know your brother, remember?" I knew him better than I was willing to talk about tonight.
"This is true." She laughed. "You all know how he can be."
"Exactly." Allie turned out of the driveway and onto the street. "Plus, he probably should be a little bit worried because it’s girls’ night!"
Allie’s laughter was contagious, and I couldn’t help feeling excited to be out with two girls that I genuinely liked. I barely even knew Frankie, but I already like her more than most of the people I had met.
"Where are we heading first?" I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my feet on her dash.
"Milkshakes and cheese fries, then we’ll see where the night takes us."
"Deal." Frankie’s smile was so big and genuine, and it didn’t stop the entire ride to the diner Allie highly recommended.
It felt awkward while the three of us looked over the menu, and even more awkward after we ordered and the waiter took our menus away. It was already pitch-black outside, and there were very few people eating in the diner.
"So, Frankie, what’s it like to be Beck’s sister?"
"Allie!" I whisper-yelled at her and kicked her under the table.
"What?" She looked between me and Frankie. "I know you’re thinking it."
"It’s all right." Frankie chuckled. "He’s an awesome brother. He’s a bit overbearing as you all can tell, but he has the right intentions."
"Does he work out a lot?"
"Oh my God, Allie." I buried my face in my hands just as the waiter set our milkshakes on the table.
"He can’t look like that naturally. He has to work out a lot."
"He does." Frankie laughed. "If he didn’t, he’d be huge. He eats like a pig."
"Josie, what’s it like for you to be Lucas’s sister? Or stepsister, I mean." She tucked her hair behind her ear, and I knew that it took a lot for her to ask that question.
"It’s weird." I was honest with her. "When I first moved in, I felt like he was the only person that I could talk to, but now…" I shook my head because I couldn’t bring myself to say that I no longer trusted him after I knew what he did to her.
She seemed to understand that too. "Do you not get along with your dad?"
"No." I laughed. "Not at all. I don’t really know him that well, to be honest."
"What about your mom?" She took a sip of her milkshake, and I stared ahead. It was a simple question, an innocent one, but it still hurt like hell.
"She passed away this past year. Cancer."
"Oh my God." Her face was filled with shock. "I’m so sorry. I didn’t know or I never would have asked that."
"I know." I gave her a small, reassuring smile. "It’s okay. It’s good to talk about her."
The three of us were silent for a moment, and Allie gently squeezed my hand on the bench beside her.
"I was really close with her, actually. I was basically her mini-me."
"So, that’s why you moved here?"
"Yeah." I nodded. "My dad didn’t have much to do with me until she passed away, but he refused to let me live alone until I was eighteen. The judge sided with him."
"I’m so sorry."
I waved off Frankie’s concern. "It is what it is. What about your parents? You get along with them?"
"Yeah." She nodded, and I could tell she was uncomfortable. People typically were if they had to talk about their parents after just finding out that I lost one of mine. "My dad is amazing, but a major workaholic as you two know."
We did know. I saw Mr. Clermont’s car at the country club more than anyone else’s.
"My mom’s my best friend. That’s kind of sad, isn’t it?" She shifted in her seat.
"Absolutely not." I smiled at her. "My mom was my best friend too."
"They’ve both been super overprotective since everything happened with Lucas." Her gaze flicked back and forth between me and Allie, and I felt so damn bad for her. "I think that they think they’re helping, but sometimes I just want to be left alone. You know?"
"My parents just want me to find a boyfriend." Allie rolled her eyes playfully.
"Really?" Frankie laughed.
"Yes. My mom thinks I’m going to become some sort of a troll or something."
"Didn’t you and Carson used to have a thing?" Frankie asked just as the waiter set a huge plate of cheese fries between the three of us.
"We were friends." Allie was quick to correct her.
"Did he know that?" Frankie laughed, and I couldn’t help laughing with her. I knew that Allie didn’t want to talk about whatever happened between the two of them, but the face she made when Frankie asked was too funny to keep a straight face.
"He definitely knew that. He was the one who made sure I knew that."
"Ouch." So Allie was the one who had a thing for him?
"Yeah." She nodded toward me. "I was his friend who didn’t realize she was firmly planted in the friend zone."
"I don’t believe that." Frankie picked up a fry and shoved it in her mouth. "He definitely had a thing for you, or still does. He gets super grumpy any time anyone talks about you."
"Trust me, he doesn’t." Allie looked so uncomfortable, but she kept talking. "Plus, from what I hear, he’s been fucking anything that wears a skirt."
Frankie winced. "That’s what I’ve heard too."
Allie looked down at the fries then away from both of us.
"What about Beck? What’s the real deal with him and Cami?" I had no intentions of asking her anything about her brother tonight, but I needed to change the subject off Carson, and he was the only other thing I could think of.
"Well." Frankie took a long drink from her milkshake before she spoke again. "They’ve been friends or dating for a long time, but it’s like they’re never really dating. It’s just like they are always there for e
ach other."
I don’t know why, but that hurt far more than it should.
"But not in that way," Frankie quickly clarified. "I haven’t seen him be interested in Cami in years."
"But he still sleeps with her." I was talking more to myself than her.
"I don’t know, honestly. But that’s what everyone says."
"He says it too. He told me that before the two of us ever did anything together. He told me that they were just a convenience thing. That…" I almost told her that he was helping Cami cover the fucked-up decisions she was making, but I stopped myself. That wasn’t mine to tell. "It doesn’t matter."
"Do you still like him? Like really like him?" She looked at me with such sincerity that I couldn’t lie to her.
"Of course, I do."
"But you don’t trust him." It wasn’t a question, but I answered her anyway.
"Not at all."
"But she wants to." Allie wiggled her eyebrows at the two of us before shoving more food in her mouth.
"You don’t know that." I shook my head.
"Yes. I do."
"I don’t think it will matter at all, but I believe him. What he says about not posting the video. I trust him."
"So you think Lucas did it?" The thought had crossed my mind again and again, and I felt horrible that a huge part of me hoped that it was true. Somehow I felt like I could deal with the fact that Lucas posted the video easier than if Beck did.
And it was just my foolish feeling for Beck that made me think like that.
"He’s done it before." She shrugged her shoulders.
"I just don’t understand what he would get out of it. You know? Like, what would be Lucas’s motive?"
"He got you away from Beck. Didn’t he?" Allie looked between us. "He’s been warning you to stay away from him since the moment you arrived."
"This is true." Frankie nodded.
"Okay. Enough about boys." I tried to clear Beck from my head. "Where are we off to next?"
"Let’s go swimming!" Frankie was far too excited about that idea.
"At night? In the ocean?" There was no way in hell I was getting into that black water at night.
"Are you scared of the ocean?" Allie actually sounded shocked.