by Holly Renee
I shook my head and tried to lean closer to him.
"Well, I do." He pressed his lips just below my ear, and my eyes closed at the contact. "A whole fucking lot."
"You two are going to have to get a room." I registered Carson’s voice, but I didn’t move away from Beck.
"Mmhmm." Beck’s answer vibrated against my skin.
"I think they’re cute." This was from Frankie, and I blinked my eyes open to look at her just as Beck pulled back slightly.
"Oh. They’re cute all right." Carson pulled out the seat next to Frankie and sat down. "So damn cute the entire school will need a cold shower after that little show."
I snorted out a laugh, and Beck grinned at me. I should have been embarrassed, but I wasn’t.
I couldn’t bring myself to feel an ounce of shame.
"So, are you two officially a thing now?" Olly motioned between the two of us.
"I don’t know," I answered at the same time as Beck’s, "Yes."
I glanced over at him before looking back down at my food and picking up my sandwich.
"Well, if you were, I was going to invite Josie to the cabin this weekend, but if you’re not…" He shrugged.
"Are you trying to bribe me in to officially dating your friend?"
"No." He shook his head. "Absolutely not."
I didn’t even know what cabin they were talking about, and I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to go. "I have to say, I would expect something like this from Carson but not from you."
"That’s fair." Carson nodded.
"It doesn’t matter whether you invite her or not." Frankie looked at Olly before looking at me. "Josie’s my friend, and she’s my plus-one."
"Then how are you all going to sneak Allie in?" Beck asked as he smirked beside me.
"Carson, you could bring her?" I smiled sweetly at him, and I knew that I was opening a can of worms I probably didn’t want to open.
"That’s going to be a hell no for me." He barely looked up from his food.
"Then she’ll be my plus-two." Frankie crossed her arms and looked between the three of them. "And I dare any of you to tell me no."
I grinned because I freaking adored Frankie. She winked at me, and I knew that they wouldn’t dare. Even though I had no freaking clue what the hell the cabin was or why we were going, I knew that they wouldn’t deny Frankie.
All three were wrapped around her little finger.
"Well, I’m not sharing my bed with any of you." Carson jabbed Frankie with his elbow. "So, you can pile them all in your bed."
"Deal." She stood from the table and nodded toward me. "Come on, Josie. We have plans to make."
I stood from my seat, but Beck quickly pulled me back down against his lap. "Lips," he demanded, and even though I should have balked, my stomach flipped, and I pressed my mouth against his.
This kiss was much tamer than the others, but it still hit me just the same.
"Go make your plans." He patted my thigh. "But you are not sleeping with my sister this weekend."
I stood from his lap and scooped my backpack off the floor. "We’ll see." I grinned just as I walked away.
Chapter Seventeen
Beck
I was going to kill Cami.
I didn’t care that we had been friends, or more than that, for as long as I could remember. I had trusted her. I had lied for her and helped her hide her fucked-up relationship and for what?
I didn’t know what the hell was going through her mind.
Cami had always been selfish, but this was something else. She had gone further with this than I had ever seen her go with anything else before.
I heard what she had said to Josie, but I didn’t believe a second of it. Lucas didn’t have anything to give to Cami. He didn’t provide her with any kind of step up, and I knew that was how she worked.
You were only as valuable as what you could give her.
Which made Lucas nothing. Not to her.
And I didn’t believe what she said about posting the video. It just didn’t make sense.
"What the fuck were you thinking?" I stormed into her room and closed the door behind me. Her parents weren’t home from work yet, but they wouldn’t care that I was here either way.
"About what exactly?" Cami was lying on the bed with a pile of homework laid out in front of her. "I’ve been thinking about a lot lately so you’ll have to be more specific."
"Don’t fuck around with me, Cami. I’m not in the mood for your shit today."
Her gaze snapped up to meet mine, and I knew that my tone pissed her off. "Well, that’s too damn bad. You clearly haven’t been in the mood for me in as long as I can remember."
"Is that what this is?" I unbuttoned the top button of my shirt because I felt like I was smothering in the damn thing. "Are you pissed off because I’m actually interested in somebody else?"
"Oh please." She rolled her eyes and sat up in the bed. "If there was anything for me to be worried about, you’d know it. I can deal with you having some sort of fucked-up kink over how much you hate her brother."
I shook my head because Cami was so fucked up, and I was going to lash out at her. I knew I would, and I didn’t want to.
That had never been who we were, but the urge to walk away and never talk to her again was overwhelming.
"Can we not do this?" I waved my hand back and forth between us and pulled out the old wooden chair at her desk before taking a seat. "I’m confused on how you’re upset that I have feelings for someone else when you’re fucking one of our teachers."
"I’m not…" She paused and shook her head, and I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees.
"You’re not what?"
"I’m not fucking him."
That was news to me. "Since when? Did something happen?"
I could practically see the walls slamming down over her eyes. She was going to shut down.
"No. Nothing happened. I never…" She shook her head again, and whatever she was going to say was right on the tip of her tongue. But she clamped her mouth shut before she could say anything more.
"So, what? You two stopped fooling around, so now you're fucking Lucas? That’s a little low even for you, don’t you think?" I knew my words would hurt her, but I was so damn angry. I didn’t even know what the hell I believed, but I was still angry over what she told Josie. Over what she made her believe. Over her making Josie question herself even more.
Cami waved her hand in my direction. "Says the guy who’s been fucking Lucas’s sister, for what? Revenge? And you couldn’t even pull it off. You try to act like you’re so fucking hard, but you got pussy-whipped by the goody two-shoes."
"I know you didn’t post the video." I shook off her words.
"I did." She stood from her bed and made her way toward me. "Lucas showed me the video when you sent it to him, and I knew that meant that you couldn’t go through with it. I knew your plan to ruin his family would do nothing but ruin you."
I stared up at her, only a foot or so away from me, and searched her face. "Why were you with Lucas? After everything he did to Frankie?"
Pure regret took over her face, but she quickly hid it. "Is this really what you came here for?" She leaned forward, placing her hands on the arms of the chair. Her mouth was so damn close to mine, and once upon a time, it wouldn’t have taken anything for me to lean forward and close the space between us.
But I couldn’t.
Not anymore.
Not after Josie.
"Yes." I nodded and didn’t take my eyes off of her. "I want to know what the hell is going through your head."
"I’m not your little watchdog, Beck. If you get to be with whoever the fuck you want, then so do I."
"I think you’ve made that abundantly clear."
"Are you jealous?" There was a smirk on her face as she leaned forward and whispered in my ear. "Does it drive you crazy thinking about him touching me?"
It did, but not for the reason she thought. It drove me mad thinkin
g about him touching anything that belonged to me, and even though Cami wasn’t my girl, not anymore, she had been my friend for a long time.
"Cami." I pushed on her shoulders, and she didn’t fight as I pushed her away from me.
"Yeah?" She dropped to her knees in front of me before I could utter another word and gripped my knees in her hands. "What do you want from me, Beck?"
"Not this." I leaned forward and pushed her hands from my thighs. "I want to know why you’re trying to take the blame for Lucas."
"I’m not taking the blame." She pushed forward and blocked me in with her body. "I’m telling you the truth. I posted that video because all you’ve talked about since Frankie is getting revenge on Lucas. Then when it’s right there in front of you, you puss out." She shook her head like she was disgusted with me. "No fucking way. You’ll thank me once you get over her."
"I’m not going to get over her." My words were firm. "And my plan was fucked up. It did nothing but hurt Josie. Lucas doesn’t give a shit about her."
"No, but he gives a shit about Joseph Vos. And you successfully pissed him off." She cocked her head to the side and studied me. "Did your little girlfriend tell you that he’s threatened her?"
My body went rigid. "What?"
She nodded her head slowly. "Oh, daddy dearest has threatened to take away everything she has if she doesn’t stay the hell away from you." She dug her fingernails into my thigh. "Apparently something you did worked."
I couldn’t lie and say that it didn’t fuel me to know that he was pissed, but I couldn’t be happy about it at the expense of Josie. It was what I had wanted, but I didn’t think of the risks. I didn’t think that I would fall for the daughter of a monster.
Why wouldn’t Josie tell me about her dad? Why wouldn’t she stay away if she was risking things to be with me?
"Her dad is a piece of shit." I spit out the words, and something I couldn’t place clouded Cami’s expression.
"You cast a lot of stones for a boy who’s made his own mistakes."
I looked at Cami like I hadn’t ever really seen her before. I pushed her off of me and stood.
"What? I was good enough to suck your dick a few weeks ago, but not now? You scared Josie will find out?" She smirked, and I had no idea who this girl was.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Cami?" I ran my fingers through my hair and grabbed my bag.
"You’re acting like a bitch, Beck. That’s my problem. We’ve had a plan for as long as I can remember, and you are fucking everything up."
"What exactly am I screwing up for you?" I slung my bag over my shoulder and looked at her. "You’ve had this plan stuck in your fucked-up head for as long as I can remember, and in the beginning, it made sense, but now?" I held out my arms and shook my head. "Your dad isn’t going to stop being an asshole because you’re with me, Cami. It may have made him happy for a while, but it isn’t going to magically make him better."
"I’m well aware, Beck." She tugged at the bottom of her shirt and lifted it to expose her stomach.
I stared at the fading bruises that marked her beautiful skin and tried to breathe. "He’s hitting you again?"
She jerked her shirt down so hard that I was worried it would rip. "Don’t act like you suddenly care, Beck." She climbed off her knees and stood to her full height with that look on her face. That look that I had seen so many times before. The one that tried to pretend that everything in her life was perfect, but I knew better.
"You told me that he stopped." If I had known, if I had seen, fuck. I didn’t know what I would have done. Cami’s father was almost as powerful as my own, but that didn’t give him the right to hit his daughter. Or his wife.
That didn’t give him the power to be a monster that was left completely unchecked.
"Well, he didn’t." She shrugged her shoulders like it wasn’t a big deal, but that was bullshit. I could see it on her face. I knew that every time he touched her or yelled at her or treated her like she wasn’t worth anything it cracked something inside of her.
"Come stay the night at my house tonight." My voice was soft, but her gaze was hard.
"Don’t be ridiculous." She began moving around her room and straightening things that were already in perfect order. "I can handle my father, and you can go right back to your little girlfriend. You’re right, though. You were a good buffer for a while, but it would appear that your allure has worn off."
She stared up and every bit of that hard girl who could cut anyone with a simple look or harsh word was looking back at me.
"If you don’t mind, get the fuck out of my room."
"Cami." I reached out for her, but she backed out of my reach.
"Don’t, Beck. Don’t even try to pretend like I suddenly matter because you can’t take the sight of it. I’ll deal with it just like I always do."
I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to make things better for Cami. She was always the one who had a plan when it came to her father, and for a long time, her father seemed placated that she was with me.
But it seems that had run out.
And I couldn’t run out on her too.
"Then I’ll stay here tonight." I dropped my bag back to the floor and ignored the way she looked at me as I took a seat in her desk chair. "He won’t do a thing while I’m here."
"You don’t have to do that." She shook her head, but I could see the relief in her eyes.
And I hated that the first thing that popped into my head was Josie. I knew that she would hate that I was here. She would hate it if she knew that I was laying in Cami’s bed and protecting her. She would never understand.
Even if I tried to make her. She wouldn’t see past what she wanted to see with Cami, and I couldn’t blame her.
Cami had created that.
Cami had made people hate her because it was her way of staying on top. It was her way of making others fear her so they never got too close.
And Josie would never understand.
But I couldn’t leave Cami because I knew Josie would hate it. I couldn’t leave her in the hands of her cruel fucking father, with nothing to protect her. It was the reason that I always fell back into this damn cycle with her. No matter what she did or what she said, I couldn’t not protect her.
I couldn’t just walk away from the girl, even if I loved someone else.
But Josie didn’t need to know about me being here. Nothing was going to happen between Cami and me, so I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
But it still felt wrong. The urge to run from her room and straight to Josie was overwhelming. But I couldn’t.
No matter how badly I wanted to. I couldn’t.
"Let’s just watch a movie, Cam." I nodded toward her massive TV. "We haven’t hung out in forever."
A small smile lit up her face, and I felt so much damn guilt that that was all it took.
"We haven’t." She grabbed the remote before hopping in her bed and pulling her blanket over her legs.
I should have left.
But she looked up at me and she looked so content and happy, and I couldn’t do any more harm to this girl who pretended to have it all. Her parents would cause enough harm to her for a lifetime.
So, I leaned back in the chair and tried my hardest to swallow the guilt that I felt was suffocating me.
Chapter Eighteen
Josie
Work was slower than usual.
Allie wasn’t here tonight, and I had no one to talk to besides the few tables that still lingered in my section.
And chatting it up with old men who were on their fifth scotch for the night was not at the top of my to-do list.
Instead, I was leaning against the bar and checking my phone for the hundredth time. Beck had barely text me since we got out of school, and even though that wasn’t exactly abnormal, things felt different now.
And he text me all day today during school.
But I was being crazy. I tucked my phone back into my apron and resisted the urge to tex
t him. He was probably with his friends. He may have even been getting things ready for our cabin trip tomorrow.
Apparently, it was just going to be him, Carson, Olly, and Frankie, but he seemed more than excited over the idea of me and Allie joining them. I was excited about the idea of it too.
I wanted nothing more than to spend the weekend away with Beck where there was no one around to have any expectations or demands of us. There would be no one there to judge me for falling for the guy who had irrevocably hurt me.
But even knowing that, I couldn’t help thinking that maybe Beck really did mean what he said. Maybe he really was sorry for everything that happened.
I was more than shocked by what Cami had said, but part of me didn’t believe her. It wasn’t that I didn’t think she was capable of doing exactly what she said she did, but I just didn’t understand her motive.
Did she truly want Beck for herself when she was sleeping with another? Or multiple others, according to her.
I just didn’t get it.
Cami felt threatened, but I didn’t know where she saw the threat. I didn’t understand how a girl like her who had everything she could ever want could ever be threatened by anything.
But she was.
There was no other explanation for it.
She wanted me out of Beck’s life, and she was almost successful. If I was smart, she would have been.
But I couldn’t seem to stay away from him. Even through her efforts and my father’s threats, there was something about Beck that made it impossible to walk away from him.
I pulled my phone out again. No new messages. Shoving my phone into my pocket, I took a deep breath before heading back to my tables to see if they needed another round. I was so ready to go home and climb into my bed. I wanted to sleep off everything Cami had said today.
I wanted to sleep off the idea that she had been with Lucas when he had gotten the video from Beck.
I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
But by the time my shift ended, it was all I could think about. Lucas.
Why did Lucas do anything that he had done? I hated him, yet I wanted to understand him. I wanted to know what the hell ran through his head to make him the way he was.