by Penny Wylder
Haley’s smile is as fake as the bright white veneers on her teeth. She hands me my motel key. “Gosh, Lina. That sounds like a wonderful idea, but my husband will be expecting dinner on the table after I leave here. You know how it is.”
Her daughter chimes in, not looking up from the screen of her phone. “I thought Dad was out of town,” the little girl says.
Haley gives the girl a withering look. That’s when I realize Haley wants to avoid me like the rest of the town. She obviously doesn’t want to chat, and by the way she keeps looking around the room, all paranoid, she doesn’t want others to see us chatting either.
I look at the little girl, the dark curly hair, the brown eyes. She looks very much like Haley. “That’s your daughter?” I ask.
Haley glances at the girl fondly. “Sure is. That’s Gracie. Got pregnant with her just before you abandoned everyone.”
I’m a little shocked by her phrasing. “Abandoned?” I say.
Haley shrugs. “What else can I call it? You didn’t say goodbye to anyone. One day we’re best friends and can’t go an hour without texting, and then I never hear from you again.”
“I couldn’t help it. My mom had my bags already packed when I got home from school …” I let my words fade out. I realize I’m making excuses. We did leave suddenly, but I could have taken the time to call my friends and let them know what was happening. But I’d liked the idea of starting over and I figured the best way to do that was leaving the past behind. Once I was in California, everything changed and I didn’t really think about Pepperhill after that. Not until a few years later. I guess part of the reason I wanted to go back and fix up my dad’s bar was because of the guilt I felt after leaving him. Not only did I leave my friends, but I left my dad too. I missed him and everything, but I had my new life in California and there just wasn’t the time to call him regularly. He made the occasional trip to come see me, but as I got older, my life became more hectic. Last time he came to visit I was twenty-four. He died soon after that. The guilt has haunted me ever since. Soon after he died I’d gotten the paperwork in the mail with the deed to the bar and the property it was on. I knew then I had to do something with it. The Osprey has been empty for a year. I should have done something with it sooner.
“It was good seeing you again, Haley,” I say and go up to my room. It’s clean at least. A nice little room and affordable, but old fashioned with the floral bead-spread that matches the curtains and the wallpaper border. There are pictures hanging on the walls that look like Bob Ross originals and a bible next to the bed and a rotary phone. On the ceiling there’s a faint outline of a water spot that’s shaped like the head of a dog.
I lay on the bed thinking about the Osprey and everything I need to fix it up. I need to atone and reconnect with the memory of my father and my old life. Returning the bar to its former glory is how I’ll do that. It’s important that I accomplish this. I just don’t know how I’ll do it alone. I’m going to need Madden’s help whether I like it or not. But what he asked me for is too much.
Thinking about Madden makes me remember this new confidence he found as an adult. I remember how he touched my chin and my hair, how he spoke, the low grumble of his deep voice. He’s so sure that at some point I’ll be begging for him, his hard body and hard dick … STOP. I need to stop thinking about him like that right now or I will never get anything accomplished. How on earth did I get to this point? Madden was always a cute kid, but I never in a million years thought I would find myself lusting after him, and I don’t want to get into the habit of it now.
Sleep is elusive this first night. It’s too quiet here. Without all the city traffic and the sounds of sirens and club music all around, how is a girl to get any sleep? The silence is maddening. I try to turn on the TV but the light and constant flickering make it impossible to settle down. So I just lay here, too awake to sleep, but too tired to get up and do anything. I’m not sure when it happens, but before I know it, I’ve nodded off.
I dream about old memories. My thoughts flash back on Haley, about when we were in high school and she whispered to me that Madden had a crush on me. Or was it that I had a crush on him? He lived next door so I saw him and his older brother often. Of course I already knew he had a crush on me, but I never told anyone else. I didn’t want my friends to find out. So who started that rumor?
The dream carries over to other dreams, other memories, and only leads to more questions. Was it my fault that Madden thought I would sleep with him back then? If Haley hadn’t read my diary over my shoulder would I have gone through with it instead of it turning into a prank? I really don’t know. All I know is I regret it all. I especially regret breaking Madden’s teenage heart. I can only imagine how humiliated he was when he saw all those faces staring back at him while he was naked in the back seat of his pickup. I had no idea my friends would tell so many people and they were all hiding in the woods, ready to laugh at him. Because of me. It’s gut wrenching to think I did something so heartless.
4
Madden
I sit at my brother Abe’s garage, waiting for Lina to show up. I offered to pick her up since she doesn’t have a car, but she stubbornly decided to take an Uber. Now I’m wondering if she’ll even show up at all. Abe is lying under Lina’s car, the clank of tools being knocked against metal echoing in the garage. He’s had a few too many beers and probably shouldn’t be working at this point, and I’ve had a few too many cups of black coffee and feel as though I’ll vibrate out of my skin. Why am I so nervous to see her again?
“I bet you just about shit yourself when you saw Lina back in town,” Abe says, his words a little sloppy when they’re strung together. “Everyone in this town knows you’ve been in love with her since the move across the street.”
“Loved,” I correct him. “I did love her. I don’t anymore. Not after what she did to me.” I say the words, but I’m not sure how convincing I sound—to him or to myself.
“You’re sure going out of your way to help someone you don’t love anymore.”
“Trust me, I don’t love her. I plan to make her pay for what she did to me.”
He chuckles. “Yeah, okay. Whatever you say, Maddie.” He slides out from under the car and gives me a knowing grin. I frown at him.
When I hear the sound of a car crunching over the gravel as they turn into the driveway, my head snaps up. I scold myself inwardly for looking so obvious, and sigh when Abe laughs again.
Lina opens the door of the sedan. She’s dressed casually in cutoff shorts and a tank top, but she looks sexy as hell. Very California the way she shows off her body. Confidence oozes off of her. Is she trying to get me hot and bothered? Does she have any idea the effect she has on me? I wish that weren’t true, but there’s no denying it. I try to tell myself not to focus so much on her. My body nor my mind wants to listen. She has the same power today she’s always had on me. Maybe more now, since I haven’t seen her in so long. All those years I’ve been craving her and now she’s here.
She drops her purse as she gets out of the car. When she bends over and gives a view of the most perfect ass on this Earth, the world suddenly stops spinning. Nothing else exists. My whole body goes stiff, including my cock. I try to stand in a way that makes it less obvious. Nothing seems to be working, so I grab an oily shop rag off the work bench and hold it in front of me. When my brother starts to laugh hard enough to throw himself into a coughing fit, I glare at him.
Lina glances at me and I tell myself that this, whatever chemistry or spark or witchcraft—whatever this thing is that I feel between us—isn’t going to get serious.
She stands slowly and walks straight over to Abe and her car. She listens while he talks parts and mechanics. I’m hardly listening. Instead, I notice how her hair is a lighter shade of brunet than I remember. She must dye it now. And she’s wearing a touch of makeup that makes her look sultrier than the fresh-faced innocent way she looked in high school. I don’t prefer one over the other. She’s ju
st as beautiful either way. I think she could be covered in grime, wearing ripped clothing and begging for money on a street corner and still look just as stunning as she does now. Even then, the rest of the girls in this Podunk town wouldn’t stand a chance against her. She’s a poodle amongst a pack of mutts. Always has been.
“You really did a number on this thing,” Abe says to her.
“This town really needs a makeover,” she says.
“Maybe if you weren’t so busy staring at my ass as I walked away, you may have paid attention and not hit the hole in the road,” I say, teasing.
She looks at me with a hint of a smile. I can tell she’s trying not to laugh. It’s not working. I see the smile in her eyes. “Oh, you mean like the way I just caught you staring at my ass when I bent over?”
“Well, I mean, it does take up most of the garage. Hard to see anything else.”
She lets out a hearty laugh and throws her purse at me. I catch it and we’re both laughing together now.
“My ass is not nearly as big as your head, or that ego.”
It’s the same way we used to tease each other when we were young, a pleasant exchange of insults. Neither of us ever meant them, and neither of us ever took offense. It was just a game we played. At times it seemed the funnier the insult, the closer we got.
She saunters toward me. God, she has a sexy walk. I hand her purse back and realize I dropped the shop rag in order to catch her purse. She looks right at my hard-on that is now raging to a point of discomfort. I need relief in the worse way.
Her eyes widen and she lets out a breathy gasp. I shrug my shoulders and smirk at her. “Guess I like big butts.”
“Clearly,” she says. Is that lust I hear in her voice? Her eyes don’t move from my cock at all. It’s as if she’s in some kind of hypnotic trance. I flex, making my dick move beneath my jeans. Her mouth opens enough for me to see the tip of her tongue as it moves across her teeth.
Abe clears his throat and laughs under his breath. When I look at him, he seems amused. “The part should be here by tomorrow. I can have you back on the road in two days. Until then you’ll have to take an Uber—when you can find one—or let Madden drive you around.”
She immediately goes ridged at the suggestion of me driving her around. “What do you mean ‘when I can find one’? Why wouldn’t I be able to find an Uber?”
“It’s a small town. Not like there are too many people needing rides around here.”
“I had no problem getting one tonight.”
“You got lucky. It’s a Saturday night.”
She huffs and looks sideways at me. “I don’t suppose there are any busses that run through here.”
I give her a sideways smile. I like watching her squirm. “You lived here long enough to know better than that.”
She sighs and her whole body slouches. “I suppose I have no choice, do I? I suspect if my Uber driver would have been old enough to remember me, he would have refused me in the first place since it seems everyone around here hates me.”
“You’re not wrong,” I agree.
The look on her face makes me think she would rather I not agree with her. Too bad. It’s so funny to watch her realize how terrible she was back then and how it’s affecting her now. It’s funny, but at the same time I have this urge to protect her from all of the judgement. They didn’t know her like I knew her. At least the way I knew her before the nasty trick she played on me. But I never really believed she was the mastermind behind that plan. I suspect Haley had something to do with it. She was never as popular as Lina, not even close, but she was far meaner, and there was some jealousy there. Lina only seemed like the mean one because everyone paid more attention to her. If she was in a room, that’s where everyone’s eyes went.
I head toward my truck. Lina doesn’t follow but I feel her eyes watching my every move. Opening the passenger side door, I watch her, waiting. She hesitates, but finally, with a huff, climbs up into the cab. Before I shut the door I say to her, in a quiet voice, “Ready to sleep with me yet?”
She inhales sharply, her eyes shooting me a glare. I laugh and shut the door before she can reply. I watch her through the windshield, our eyes locked on one another until I get behind the wheel, then she looks away.
We head for the bar. As we drive I think about the old truck I had in high school, the one that was supposed to be the place where I would sleep with Lina for the first time. I had spent the entire day cleaning and detailing it for that night. It was a 1965 Ford. I’d spent every penny I earned when I was working at the lumber mill after school to buy it and restore it. I loved that truck. But after what happened, being naked and laughed at by Lina’s friends and half the school, I sold it. Couldn’t wait to get rid of it. Sometimes I wish I had it back because there were some good memories attached to it. When Lina and I were still friends we would cruise around at night, listening to music and singing along.
Lina changes the music, pulling me out of my memories. I expect her to change it to something ridiculous, but instead she stops when she hears a song, and to my surprise, it’s a song I love. How did I forget that we had similar taste in music? I guess I’ve forgotten a lot of things over the years after what happened. That one bad thing had consumed all of the good, I suppose.
“What’s the plan for the bar today?” I ask.
“I’ll be doing orders today; see what I need in the inventory.”
I nod. There’s a moment of silence before she says, “Abe looks like he’s doing well.”
“He is. He took over our dad’s garage a few years back so my parents could retire. He pays for everything they need.”
“Is that where you work?” she asks.
I nod. “Abe likes to take the brunt of the work. He’s like my dad in that way. So I find myself with more time on my hands than I know what to do with—at least I did. Now you’re here and I can use that time to focus on you.”
Lina goes quiet and doesn’t say anything else until we get to the bar. Once we’re inside, she instantly gets to work. She keeps her head down, her focus sharp on what needs to get done. I admire her diligence. I recline against the bar, intentionally not helping, occasionally teasing her, telling her that I will gladly jump in and help if she would just ask. She ignores me, clearly set on not asking me for anything.
She climbs up onto the counter behind the bar and tries to reach for the old bottles on the top shelf. They’re just beyond her reach. I start to get frustrated because she’s about to fall if she tries to stand any taller on her tiptoes, and yet she’s so stubborn that she continues to refuse my help.
I move behind the bar because I don’t trust her balance at this point. “Let me do that,” I say to her, but in one last stubborn try to grab the bottle, she jumps. The motion throws her off balance. My heart leaps into my throat when I see her start to fall. I reach out and catch her before she can hit the ground, moving quickly and twisting so her head doesn’t hit the corner of the bar.
Her breathing comes in rapid bursts and she’s looking up at me with large, frightened eyes from the close call. Even though she’s safe in my arms, I’m still shaken up from the thought of her getting hurt. That’s when I realize that I still have feelings for her no matter how much I tell myself that I don’t.
Damn.
Lina continues to stare up at me as she’s cradled in my arms.
“You’re insane, you know that?” I say harshly, wanting her to get it through her thick skull that she can’t do this on her own. “You need to ask for help when you need it or you’ll end up killing yourself. I have no doubt you’re capable of a lot of things, but at some point everyone needs to ask for help.”
She’s still breathing hard, and makes no attempt to climb out of my arms. Instead her arms go around my neck, our warm bodies pressed against one another. That fear quickly becomes desire as my dick grows hard. I stare at her perfect lips, drawn to them. As I bring my mouth to hers, she moves her hand to block me, putting a barrier between
us. She squirms until I let her go and set her on her own two feet. She dusts herself off, her bottom lip trembling as she does so. She’s trying not to show the same desire I feel too, but I know it’s there. I saw it on her face, felt it in the way her arms wrapped around me. She wants me just as bad as I want her but she refuses to give in. I guess some things never change.
“Thank you for catching me,” she says as simply as if she were thanking me for opening a door for her. She then sits at a table and starts to write in her little notebook.
“One week,” she says.
I blink at her. She looks at me with sheer determination and taps the piece of paper. “I calculate that all the things I need to do to get this place up and running will take me one week. It’s impossible for me to do it alone, like you said.” I stare at her a moment in shock. In her own stubborn way, she’s admitting she was wrong. She may even be attempting an apology. I’ll take it.
She continues, “With your help I might even be able to get it all done quicker.”
She stares at me meaningfully, and then I finally get it. Our deal. I help her, and she spends the night in my bed. That’s what she’s really agreeing to. My dick, which had started to calm down, stirs again.
“I see.” I smile wickedly at her. “You thought this through in detail.”
Lina pulls in a long breath, acting tough. Or maybe she is tough. Maybe her dream does really matter the most to her.
“I want to hear the words from your lips,” I tell her. Those pouty, soft, kissable lips.
The stretch of silence between us seems to last forever. Finally, she says, “I’ll sleep with you. One night in your bed if you agree to do whatever it takes to get this place up and running in a week. I want it perfect, the same as it was in its glory days.”
My heart beats so loud that the sound echoes in my ears. Lina is actually agreeing to sleep with me. I’m reminded of when she agreed to do the same thing, and there’s a certain amount of trepidation that comes from her words.