by Lucy Smoke
“About what?” another familiar voice, Meg, one of the newer pledges, asked.
“Jamie Houston,” Kelina stated. “She’s being booted out of the pledges.”
Meg gasped. “Oh my goodness, why?”
“The official reason, I heard,” Kelina’s voice dropped into a mock whisper as if she wanted to give off the feeling that she wasn’t trying to gossip when that was very much what she was trying to do. “Is because she can’t afford the bids.”
“Oh.” Meg sounded confused. “Well, aren’t there like programs or something? She seems nice, it’d suck if she couldn’t be our sister.”
Poor, sweet, Meg. She had no clue. No, I couldn’t afford the damn bid—that was the reason—but Victoria had blocked all of my chances of getting one of those programs. An extra scholarship that would cover something like this. They were rare, but they were available. Apparently not for someone like me, though.
“Don’t be nice to her,” Kelina snapped. “You don’t know what she really did. That’s the official reason. The unofficial reason is far worse.”
The unofficial reason was a fucking lie. But did I step out and tell her that? No. I couldn’t seem to make my legs move. Instead, I pressed my back against the wall and swallowed around a suddenly dry throat.
“What’s the unofficial reason?” Meg asked hesitantly as if she weren’t sure whether or not she wanted to know.
I wished I could just jump out and tell her to not listen, but with Kelina there … I’d only prove Victoria right. It would act as evidence that I really was everything she said I was. Jealous. Conniving. Threatened by her. I wasn’t. I just wanted … I’d thought a sorority would bring me friends. Friends I hadn’t had in high school. I’d been so stupidly wrong.
“I heard it was because she tried to sleep with Victoria’s boyfriend,” Kelina said, sounding far too excited about such a lie. That wasn’t fucking true at all.
Cody Lawson was hot, yes, but I had hardly spoken to him. We were in a few classes and we’d passed notes back and forth—offered to be study partners. Nothing else. My last relationship had ended in bad sex and the need to get the hell out of my hometown. My fresh start at Winthrope, however, was turning out to be even worse.
“Did she really?” Meg hissed. “But she always seemed so nice.”
“Yeah, well, she’s not,” Kelina said. “She’s as manipulative as they come. Victoria sponsored her. I can’t believe she would go and try to fuck her boyfriend. It’s the ultimate slap in the face. Do you want to know what she did when Victoria confronted her?”
I bit down hard on my lip. Nothing. I’d done nothing. Certainly not what Victoria was telling everyone.
“W-what?” Meg stuttered. I could just picture her pale face now. Eyes wide. Her freckles stark against her pale skin.
“She called Victoria fat and that Cody was probably only dating her out of pity.” Kelina’s voice and her words were like nails on a chalkboard. There was far more that had happened and those words had certainly never come out of my mouth.
I remembered the accusation from Victoria. I’d stopped by the sorority house with such high hopes, wanting to talk to her about a charity event I thought all of the girls would love. I’d never cared to do much charity before, but with so many girlfriends involved, I thought it’d be fun. She’d been in the living room of the house, alone, and for the first time since I’d started visiting, I’d noticed that no one else had been home.
She’d stood up and turned on me and in her hand had been a familiar phone—Cody’s. I hadn’t even thought anything of it at the time. I’d been too excited to share my plan about the disadvantaged kids and tutoring event, but I hadn’t stepped two feet into the room before she was on me—shoving the phone screen in my face.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing talking to my boyfriend?” she’d demanded.
My feet had paused as my face had frozen in shock at the venom in her tone. “What?” I blurted before my eyes settled on the screen before me. It was a conversation, the last one I’d had with Cody. “I was just talking to him about our next class assignment,” I said defensively, taking a step back.
Victoria’s eyes were wild, and she ground her jaw as she threw the phone. I jumped when it landed on the floor and skittered a few feet away. Her cheeks were flushed and when she looked at me, there was rage in her eyes. She curled her fists at her sides before pointing at me.
“You’re trying to fuck him, aren’t you?” she asked.
“What?” My eyebrows shot up. “No! Of course not,” I said. “I would never. We’re going to be sisters, I—”
“No, we’re not,” she snapped. “You’re out. You’re fucking out, do you hear me? All those programs you were trying to get into? I’ve rescinded my recommendations.”
I gaped at her, completely and utterly shocked. “Why would you do that?”
“Because you’re a little whore,” she replied. “You’ve been eyeing Cody since I brought you in.”
“No, I haven’t.” I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. Shock was causing me to start shaking. The file of information I’d brought on my charity event shook in my hands until it tumbled out of my grip and hit the floor, pages scattering everywhere. I had to make her understand. “I wouldn’t do that to you. Tori, you know me.”
“It’s Victoria,” she snapped, curling her upper lip back as she stared down her long, elegant nose at me. “Only my friends and sisters are allowed to call me ‘Tori’.”
My throat burned. My cheeks heated. “V-victoria,” I tried again. “I swear to you that there’s nothing between me and Cody. We’re in a few classes together and we were just talking about some homework. I promise.”
Her eyes narrowed on me. “I bet you think you had a chance with him,” she began as if I hadn’t even spoken. “Did you think you were pretty enough to take him from me? Thought if you could fuck my boyfriend and got into my sorority, you could get into my spot as President?”
It was like she wasn’t even trying to hear me. I shook my head. “I don’t want to be President,” I told her.
“Well, I guess it doesn’t matter now.” She sniffed. “You’re out, like I said, and don’t think you can play friends with any of my sisters. Before the day’s through, they’ll all know what you’ve done.”
“Done?” I was flabbergasted. How could this be happening? “I haven’t done anything!”
But Victoria wasn’t interested in hearing it. Instead, she bent over and retrieved the fallen phone. “Pick up you shit,” she snapped. “And then get out. Never come back. You’re an outcast, now, Jamie. When you see us on campus, look the other way, because you have no friends anymore and certainly no sisters.”
I was so caught up in the memory of Victoria that when I came back to where I was, I didn’t realize that Meg and Kelina had stopped talking and were coming around the corner. They both paused when they saw me.
Meg’s eyes widened as I straightened away from the wall. “Oh, um, hi, Meg,” I said, forcing a smile onto my face.
She hesitated, her eyes darting to Kelina—who looked rather unimpressed. Kelina arched a brow at me before walking past. “Don’t think you can talk to us,” she snapped as she went. “We’re not your friends.”
I opened my mouth, but nothing would come out. And in total silence, I watched as the two of them marched away.
When Victoria had accused me of fucking her boyfriend behind her back, I hadn’t felt it. I hadn’t even really felt it when I overheard Kelina’s elaborated retelling—or the lies she fed Meg. But as they passed into another hall without looking back, I finally got it. I didn’t know what the hell had happened, what had really caused Victoria to act out as the raging, jealous girlfriend, but if they were all just going to believe her without ever even asking me what had happened, then why the fuck did I care?
Answer: I shouldn’t.
Kelina was right. They weren’t my friends. Real friends wouldn’t just assume and believe t
hat I was a horrible person. They would ask questions. They would try to get my side. But they didn’t care. And now, neither did I.
I shouldered my bag and started off, heading toward my next class. And even as my eyes burned with unshed tears, I sucked them back.
Fuck them, I thought. And fuck Victoria. I didn’t need friends. I just needed to finish my degree and get the fuck out of Winthrope. Who knew? Maybe wherever I ended up next would be far better than wherever it was that she ended up.
A girl could only hope, anyway.
4
“Jamie?” I started when Cody’s hand landed on my arm. “You okay?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” It was weird—did he even know what Victoria had done all those months ago? My guess was no. Cody seemed like a nice guy and really, I hadn’t disliked him—I’d just associated my most humiliating college experience with him because of his connection to Victoria. But as he gazed down at me with a soft smile, I felt my chest squeeze and my heart race faster.
First Darren and now Cody. How long had it been since I’d had sex? I wondered. Because for some reason, sitting at a table full of ridiculously hot guys left me feeling like a starving girl in a candy shop. Hungry and insatiable.
“I’m fine,” I repeated, gently prying my arm out from his grip. “I was just lost in thought.”
“Bad memories?” Dex asked.
I blinked, turning my head toward him. “Why would you say that?” Had it been that obvious?
He shrugged. “You’re an open book,” he said.
I frowned, eyeing Dex. He was leaned back in his chair, his dark hair brushed out of his eyes as he stared back at me. “An open book?” I quirked a brow.
One corner of his mouth rose. “Your emotions are easy to read.”
“No they’re not,” I automatically argued.
“No?” He shrugged, unconcerned. “Okay, if you say so.”
Just seconds ago, I’d felt really lucky to even be here with him and the others—partially because I’d enjoyed watching them banter back and forth and specifically with him because I was hoping he’d help me study. Now, I felt like I’d walked into a boys only club and Dex was just intent on taunting me.
I turned away, refocusing my attention on my work in front of me as Cody leaned back in his chair. My gaze trailed his way unintentionally. Having shed his winter coat, the muscles beneath his shirt seemed bigger. Clearing my throat, I tapped the end of my pen against the corner of my textbook, feeling self-conscious. But as the four—five, I mentally corrected, remembering Darren—of us went back to silence as we each went back to what we were doing, drawing, reading, or attempting to study, I couldn't keep my eyes from trailing back to Taylor. Slouched over in his seat, Taylor flicked a finger up and down on his tablet. He appeared to be playing some sort of pinball game. His hair was longer than the rest of the guys’, nearly reaching his shoulders. I could tell he was from California from his surfer-boy, good looks. Dark brown eyes, tanned skin—obviously a natural color since it was freaking winter—and golden hair interrupted by a natural darker streak here and there.
He looked so boyish, but the width of his shoulders was anything but. My gaze moved back to Cody. I didn’t want to think about it, but my memories from earlier didn’t seem done with me just yet. This was the guy Victoria had been so possessive of. He was focused on his phone in front of him, sifting through what appeared to be old messages and photos. He seemed, for lack of a better word, so normal. Guilt seeped into me. If I was being honest with myself, I’d kind of blamed him for the loss of all of my friends. But it wasn’t his fault. Cody was a good guy. Sweet. He’d given me a ride over here even when I’d been a bitch to him. I pursed my lips and returned my gaze to Taylor.
Suddenly the screen on his tablet went blank, and a confused V formed between his eyebrows. He pressed his thumb against the on switch and held it down for a moment before releasing it. Nothing happened. To no avail, he attempted it again before grunting in frustration and slapping the thing on the table. I should have known to look away, but I didn’t guess that he would look my way until those dangerously dark eyes of his were on mine. He grinned when he caught my gaze, sliding the tablet to the side and scooting closer. My eyes widened and I jerked my head away, and stared intently into my textbook, though I wasn’t reading a word on the page. Within seconds, I could practically feel the heat of his breath on my bare neck as the winter snowstorm raged outside.
“What are you reading?” he asked.
I sighed in relief when Dex answered for me. “She’s probably looking over Hawthorne’s YGB. We have an exam tomorrow. Leave her alone.”
“I was asking her, Dex.” A strong finger tilted my jaw up and my heart almost stopped. “Now, Gorgeous, what are you reading?”
“Um … he’s right,” I said. “I’m reading YGB by Nathaniel Hawthorne.”
Cody leaned forward curiously, setting his phone to the side. “What’s YGB?”
“It’s a short story called Young Goodman Brown,” I replied, subtly pulling my chin away from Taylor’s hot finger. I’d heard he was the playboy type. I shouldn’t get affected by his attention, I told myself. It didn’t mean anything. “It’s kind of a long title, so after a few classes pretty much everyone refers to it as YGB now.”
“What’s it about?” Darren asked, swaying from side to side in his chair across the table, his pen tapping against the notebook in front of him.
“Well it’s—” I squeaked to a stop as the lights went out and the room was plunged into darkness. I jerked upright, out of my chair, standing in an automatic motion of fight or flight—in my case, flight.
Taylor cursed and something bumped into my side, making me squeak again. “Sorry, Jamie.”
“I–it’s fine,” I said. It was anything but fine. It was not fine at all.
Even as I assured him, my heart began to pound and my head began to throb. I peeled my eyes as wide as I could, but the only light in the room came from a window on the far wall. What little light filtered through was muted by the closed blinds. The snowstorm must have done something. It had fallen into background noise since we came up here, but now with the darkness all around, it seemed to grow louder. Rattling at the window’s glass, making me feel like a monster was about to jump out at any moment.
I hated the dark and ached to reach out and find someone to hold onto. Almost as soon as I thought it, a strong, long-fingered hand found my arm and dropped down to my wrist. I turned my head in that direction as a warm puff of air landed on my cheek.
“Are you okay?” Cody whispered as he, too, got out of his chair. I could hear it shifting back to the side and saw his outline in the dark as he stood up.
How could he tell I was afraid? I wondered. He couldn’t see me.
“Damn it,” someone said—Darren, I was pretty sure. “I think the breaker went out.”
“I–I’ll be fine,” I whispered back to Cody. Even as I said the words though, I couldn’t force myself to release his hand, and he didn’t seem in too much of a hurry let go of mine. His warm fingers slipped between mine and he squeezed back gently. My heart stopped trying to leap out of my chest.
“The school should have backup generators. They’re—” Darren replied, cutting off to curse as he moved and accidentally kicked the table. The entire thing rocked toward Cody and I—it slapped my legs and I gasped as I stumbled into Cody’s arms. Cody released my hand and simply drew me into his chest, backing both of us up until we were against the wall and away from the table.
“Jesus, watch out!” he snapped at the guys.
“Sorry,” Darren said quickly. “It’s so damn hard to fucking see in here. I’m gonna see if I can get back downstairs to the first floor. There are some flashlights behind the desk.”
“S-should you go alone?” I asked. I had watched too many horror flicks—usually in the relative safety of my dorm room—to really feel comfortable with him going alone. Outside, the wind roared, sounding more like a monster th
an a storm. I gulped.
“I’ll go with him, Jamie, no worries,” Taylor offered.
As relieved as I felt by Taylor’s words, listening to them muddle about in the room trying to reach the door without bumping into anything was worrying as well. How the hell were they going to get down the stairs? What if they fell and broke something? When they managed to reach the door, I heard the latch click and shift as the knob was turned and they felt their way out of the room before I could say anything.
“We’ll be right back,” Taylor called.
“We’ll be here.” I nearly jumped out of my skin when Dex responded so close to me. I hadn’t realized that he had gotten up and had been moving in my direction. I felt a rush of air as his arm passed mine, his hand touching the table as he felt around.
“Here, Dex.” Cody pushed me forward, and Dex stopped feeling around blindly when he touched me. “Take her for a sec, I’m going to open the blinds and get at least a little light in the room.”
Dex’s hands slid over my shoulders and I shivered. Had the temperature dropped? The snowstorm howled louder than ever, wind whipping fast against the window. I knew that it only sounded like that because our non-seeing senses had been heightened. Now that we were plunged into darkness, we were forced to rely much more on touch and sound. I didn’t like it. Everywhere I looked, I swore I saw something moving—something that shouldn’t have been moving.
Dex pulled me closer and rubbed my arms. I supposed it was because I couldn’t hide the shivering. The temperature was definitely dropping and as big as my sweater was, it wasn’t nearly warm enough. Not anymore. “They’ll be back soon,” he promised.
“I’m f-fine,” I assured him. “Really.”
“Shit!” There was a thunderous crash and muted light was released into the room. Dex and I looked up at the same time as Cody popped back up from the floor, having tripped over the leg of a chair—accidentally ripping the blinds from the window frame in his descent.