by Lucy Smoke
The conversation eventually transitioned to discussing ourselves; what we were doing at college, our hopes for the future, that sort of thing. I told her that I wanted to go into professional hockey when I graduated. She told me that she wanted to work in New York City as a journalist at one of the big five. We shared stories about our childhood, and I found myself telling her some of my most embarrassing moments. She laughed good naturedly at everything, and I really hoped I wouldn’t read about those stories in the article. They were off the record right?
I asked her about Christmas and she said she was staying on campus this year since her parents were taking their first holiday in about a decade. Apparently, her mom was some hotshot lawyer and her dad was an orthodontic surgeon. I could see where Scoop got her drive and passion.
Before we knew it, last calls from the bar were being delivered and the lights were getting brighter.
"Oh wow, it's almost two a.m.," exclaimed Scoop. She was already up and out of her chair and reaching for her jacket. I quickly got up and snatched it out of her hands, and the faux fur trim around the hood tickled my palms.
"Here let me," I said as I straightened out her jacket and held it up to her. She sent me a smile and turned, sliding one hand into its sleeve and then the other.
When Hayden turned back around, we were barely inches apart. Her eyes widened in surprise at my nearness, as they traveled from my chest to my eyes. We stood there, just staring at each other; my hands had moved up to cup her shoulders. I watched as her gaze drifted down to my lips.
I was just about to take the leap and lean in for a kiss, when some Eagles fans came up to us, cheering and clapping me on the back. I closed my eyes in annoyance, before opening them and giving Scoop an apologetic smile. Turning, I shook hands and said a few words to those who wanted to talk to me. By the time I had turned back to Scoop she had her jacket done up with her beanie and mittens on.
I think I must have let the regret show on my face because she reached out to grab my hand.
"Walk me out the front?” She asked with a soft smile. “I ordered an Uber to take me back to campus, didn't want to walk in the dark."
"Sure," I replied, not sure where this was going, just happy it wasn’t quite over yet.
We headed out the front and huddled by the front door to wait. Standing in silence together was incredibly jarring, considering how well we had been talking inside the bar. I looked over at her and saw that she was shivering slightly. Before I could second guess myself, I gently pulled her towards me, put her back to my chest and wrapped my arms around her. She started to struggle, I just gave her a gentle squeeze. "You’re cold, it's just a hug. Don't get weird."
She stilled but tilted her head up and back to look at me. "This doesn't get you out of those two other dates before you get invited up to my dorm room you know." She followed that up with a cheeky smile and then relaxed in my arms as she turned to face forward again.
I ducked my head so that my cheek rested against her beanie and let a huge smile spread across my face. So, this had been a date. Only two more dates, I could do that.
16
Hayden
Monday 4th December – 21 days until Christmas
Still daydreaming about that almost kiss with Vinnie last night, I approached the door to my PSY101 class. That moment had been damn near perfect, just like with Justin and the gloves. All of the background noise dying out; my heart rate kicking up a notch. I’d wanted to kiss him.
It was probably for the best that it hadn’t happened though. Especially since I was struggling to keep it professional with all three of my sources. I couldn’t get in deep with Vinnie - with any of them - but I could feel myself slowly sliding towards that cliff face, gravity dragging me down.
The struggle was real with keeping these guys just as leads for my story. They made me laugh and smile. I had butterflies right now because I’d be seeing Christian within the next ten minutes. No, I had to harden myself against these guys, it was all just a game to them and a story for me. They probably sat around in their apartment together, discussing what had and hadn't worked for them with me. I needed to be ice cold, deliberate, calculated. I needed to work them not have them working me.
Squaring my shoulders, I pushed the door open, quickly checking to see if I could see Christian’s magnificent shoulders and perfect face anywhere. Nope, not here yet. I headed to my usual spot, several rows up and a few seats in, placing my bag down on the seat next to me.
Just as I’d finished setting all of my things up, Christian walked backwards into the room, which was confusing until I saw that he was carrying two cups with steam coming out of them. Looking up at the room, his eyes searched until he spotted me, that dimple flashing as a smile lit up his face. As he headed up the stairs, I quickly moved my bag from the seat and dragged his out for him so that he could sit without spilling anything, backpack still on his back.
"I hope you like eggnog. One of the sororities had a stand in the quad selling it for a dollar a cup, proceeds were going to a homeless shelter. I couldn't resist." His cheeks turned a light pink as he gave his explanation.
My recently hardened heart melted a tiny bit at the shy smile that flashed on his face as he passed me a Styrofoam cup.
"Thanks, yeah I love it actually." I smiled back as I brought it up to my lips for a sip. The warmth trickled down and warmed me from the inside out, or maybe it was just the sweetness of his actions. I watched him as he shrugged his backpack off and put it down on the ground, all while expertly juggling his own cup and not spilling a drop.
"So, you never got back to me," he began, as he finished arranging everything on his desk. "About being my study partner for finals."
"Um... study partner," I hedged trying to give myself time to think. Could that go wrong? Just a study group, right? But did I have time, what with the Puck Games article and Winter Wonderland organization? He was looking at me, waiting for a response; his smile started to look a little tight. I could make it work. Besides, I was hoping to have some more details for this article in the next few days, maybe I would be able to cut things off with him after that. My heart gave a painful thump at the idea. "Sure, that would be great. I just can't this week. I have two extra projects I’m working on, with one finishing up on Friday. Can we start next week?"
"Yeah, of course that's okay. It'll be good to refresh everything so close to the exam anyway," he replied. "Plus, that gives me time to get my chicken scratch sorted into notes that are legible. Wouldn't want to put you through that."
I laughed. "I don't know, your note passing wasn't too bad. I got the general gist of what you were saying."
He smirked back at me, but was interrupted by the professor calling for attention.
The first part of the class was spent going over the layout of the final exam. Since this was a first-year subject, most of the people in the class were sweating everything to do with finals. Christian and I just jotted down what we needed to know. As the class progressed, Christian relaxed back into his seat, sliding down a little, which caused his knee to lean into my thigh.
I froze.
Did he realize his leg was leaning up against mine? Surely, he did; I could feel his body heat through our clothes. That must mean he could feel mine too, right? Should I move my leg? What message would that send? What message did leaving it there send? Was he doing this on purpose, or was it just a casual body movement with benefits? Wait, was it benefits? Or did he not realize? Back at square one, I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, being careful not to move my head to give myself away.
He was just sitting there, casually writing his notes and tapping his other hand on the desk a little impatiently.
Okay, so he was acting like he didn't know, while I sat over here having a mild panic attack because his knee was touching my thigh. Relax, woman. I went back to actually paying attention and writing down anything important.
Just as I managed to relax and convince myself his knee pres
sing into my thigh was an accident, I felt his arm across the back of my chair.
Ho-lee crap.
The knee was totally not an accident. He definitely did it on purpose. I was now basically surrounded by his warmth, which was actually kind of nice. And the hardness of his arm behind me, that meant muscles, right? Like serious muscles. Not the I-work-out-once-a-week kind, but the my-life-is-dedicated-to-my-fitness kind.
I realized I was gripping my pen so hard it was actually leaving a mark on my paper. Releasing it, I shook out my hand.
"You okay?" His voice rumbled over me as he whispered.
"Yeah, just a cramp," I replied. Was it hot in here? I pulled my beanie off my head and fluffed up my hair causing it to swish all over the place.
There was a gentle tugging sensation on my hair, and I could feel Christian's arm moving slightly behind me. My eyes went wide. Was he playing with my hair? I causally ran my fingers through my hair to push it behind my ear, letting it filter through my fingers. Just as I reached the ends, our fingers bumped together.
I instantly let go, letting him keep the hair; I had more important things to do, like not hyperventilating.
I couldn’t remember the last thirty minutes of the lecture. I know I took notes, and I have no idea if they had any relation to the content – for all I knew I was doodling Mrs C. Alderidge all over my page. All I was sure of was that I had become intimately aware of every body movement Christian had had during that time. Every breath. Every slight re-position in his chair. I’d had the grumpy thought that at least he would have good notes, what with no one touching him to distract him. Good thing we were going to be study partners.
When the class was over, we both just sat there for a second. I didn't want to leave this little bubble. I really liked having his arm around me. He made me feel tiny and safe, which was ridiculous. Christian was a hockey player; he was a part of the Puck Games. He was playing me right now. I needed to dial this back, ASAP.
"Well, I need to get going, I have another class to head to and I need to work on one of those projects this afternoon, so you need to let go of my hair," I chided him with a smile so he knew I was just playing.
"Uh, but maybe I like holding you hostage," he replied cheekily.
I almost giggled, the innuendo putting me a little off balance as my thighs clenched together at the idea. Would I like for him to hold me hostage? Maybe…
"Well since you’re a hockey player, let me put it to you a different way. Don't let go of my hair, and I'll have to put you in the penalty box, which means no scoring for you," I said with a smirk.
Instantly, my hair was released.
"You play dirty, Hayden. Fine, abandon me for your other class," he sulked, but it was with such a put-upon sad face that I knew we were still flirting.
The loss of the warmth from his arm left a hole in my chest, but I knew I had to ignore it. I quickly packed my things and stood up.
"See you on Wednesday?" I asked, just as I started to inch by him.
"You bet," he replied with a smile.
I smiled back and put a little extra sway in my step as I walked away, just for him.
17
Hayden
Monday 4th December – 21 days until Christmas
Pushing my key into the lock on my dorm room door, I let out a short high pitched scream as Stephanie appeared at my elbow, almost making me dump the box of Winter Wonderland stuff on the floor and go all ninja on her butt.
"Guess what?" she squeaked at me, reaching to take the folder off of the top of my pile as it wobbled towards my face.
"Woman, you can't jump out at me like that. I almost attacked you." I practically growled at her, still slightly annoyed since my heart was pounding with fear and my palms were sweaty. I swear I’d just lost a year of my life.
"Come on, Sugar, guess!" Her blonde curls jiggled all over the place with her enthusiasm, eyes sparkled, cheeks all flushed and rosy.
"Here lock the door, okay guess. You got the exclusive on the Winter Wonderland article?" I teased her.
"No, it’s not that. Wait, are you asking me to write about your little festival in the paper?" she asked with her southern drawl as she locked our door, which instantly had me envisioning a winter themed hoedown, southern style.
"Yes, but there’s no little about this festival. It's taking over the Southern and Eastern Quads. Elizabeth went a little crazy, but she seems to have it all under control. I just need to accept deliveries and assign jobs. You could volunteer for a stall if you liked."
"Well actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I can't do a stall. James asked me to go to the Winter Wonderland with him." She squealed just as we reached the landing to the stairs. Another student was coming up and just stared at the two of us like we were weirdos who squealed in stairwells all the time. I glared at him to get him moving out of our way, before turning back to Steph.
"Oh yay! Details, how? When?" I demanded of her as we headed down the three flights.
"Well, it was earlier today. He was waiting for me outside of my last class like normal, but he seemed a bit jittery. We started walking back towards our dorm and as we crossed over some of the pavement, I slipped on the ice. He grabbed me up real quick before my behind hit the ground, and all of a sudden I found myself pressed up against him. Hay, he has the most gorgeous blue eyes. So light and clear." A dreamy note took over her voice as she trailed off, obviously lost in remembering the moment.
"And..." I prodded her, with an indulgent smile on my face.
She peeped up at me sheepishly. "And then I waited to see if he would make a move, instead we just started walking again. I was a little disappointed, but I decided that if he wasn't going to make a move after all the signals I had been sending him, then I was going to do it. So, as we walked, I slipped my arm through his. He looked down at me, and I just said it was because I didn't want to slip again. He seemed to believe me, or just didn't want to argue. We got back to the dorms, and normally he would leave me at the front door to the building, but instead he asked if he could walk me to my door. Obviously, I said sure thing, so up we went and when we got to the door, we both just stood there awkwardly. I reached for my keys and fiddled with them, because everyone knows that's the sign for Kiss Me, but he didn't. I was about to give up and say thanks when he just blurted out, ‘Would you like to go to the Winter Wonderland on Friday with me?’ I thought he was going to throw up." We reached the bottom of the stairs, with Steph pausing in her story to open the door for us.
"You said yes, right?" I asked, which was clearly the point of the story.
"Well no, not exactly," she replied.
"What! You didn't say no, did you?" I demanded, feeling sorry for poor James.
"No, not that either." Now she was sporting a naughty smile on her face, kind of like the cat that got the cream.
I stopped mid stride and looked at her. "You kissed him!" I accused.
She pressed her lips together and bobbed her head up and down, ringlets jiggling like Shirley Temple, eyes sparkled with her delight.
I squealed for her, which caused her to squeal back, and that's how we came to both be standing in the middle of the shoveled footpath squealing and jumping up and down like two fourteen-year-old girls. After a few seconds of that, we both regained our senses and started back down the path.
"So, how was it?" I finally asked, knowing that if I didn't dig she wouldn't give up any of the juicy details.
"It was good Hay, like really good. Fireworks good! My leg even popped like in a movie." She sighed. "When it was over, he just held me and whispered in my ear, ‘I take it that's a yes.’ I just nodded. It was beautiful. And then he was a true gentleman, watching me as I went into our room and not even asking to come in."
I smiled and bumped shoulders with her. "I told you he liked you."
"Oh shush, just because I was slow to see it doesn't mean I never would have," she replied, with a sly look out of the corner of her eye. "How's it goi
ng with your sources?"
I sighed. "Not good. I’m having a hard time keeping them at a distance. They’re just so..."
"Magnetic, alpha, manly, strong, attractive, gorgeous—"
"Yes, all of those," I cut her off before she got carried away. "But I can't get involved with any of them. I’m struggling with a bit of guilt when it comes to Christian and Justin not knowing I’m a journalist."
"I know, but honey, those three are fine specimens, and I wouldn't blame you if the lines got a little blurred. But you have to remember all that alpha manliness is just the trap they use to lure you in. You’re just struggling because there are three of them hitting you from all sides,” Stephanie explained. “You need to keep in mind why you’re doing this. What they’re involved in is wrong. Ladies do not deserve to be treated that way; I do not deserve it. My name is up on that board for all to see, as a free pass to get into my panties. I was never asked, nor did I seek that out. Your article is going to fix that." The confidence she had in me to fix this mess infused her voice.
I felt an invisible force pushing down on my shoulders, the pressure to save all of those women. I knew she was right. Hell, I'd told myself several times in the last few days to get my head in the game and to stop getting lost in the moments they kept creating. They weren’t supposed to be playing me. I was supposed to be letting them think they were playing me, while I was priming them for the perfect opportunity to get what I needed. The scoop. That perfect article to round out my portfolio for submissions to the big New York papers.
"I know. I'm trying. I keep telling myself that I need to stay focused. I have a story to write," I replied. "Uncovering the Puck Board is my number one priority; I need to keep that at the front of my mind. I'm going to start leaning on each of them the next time I see them, try to start getting some details. Figure out the girlfriend situations, see how close they are to the rest of their team. Hopefully, one of them will give me something I can use. "