“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She looked as if she wanted to say something else but stopped herself. Cocking her head at the path she and Conner had created, she said, “I think it’s best if we rest on the beach. That way people can see us.”
“What people?” My tone dripped with sarcasm.
“You can’t do that.” Her eyes narrowed. “It’s up to us to keep them calm. God only knows how long the meagre rations we found in the helicopter will keep us alive. We don’t need tears using up bodily fluids and stress burning through calories. Got it?”
I gave her a salute.
She was right but damn if it didn’t piss me off that she had to remind me.
Again.
Why was I being such a prick?
I growled, “It really should be me carrying all of that and exploring the island and—”
“Why? Because you’re a man and believe in sexism?” She rolled her eyes. “Save it for somewhere that gender actually matters.”
Hugging her chest, she took a few steps away. “I’m going to drop this off at the beach. I’ll come back for you.” Her gaze fell on my leg. “I’ll find a stick to splint your ankle like I did for Conner’s wrist.”
I ground my teeth. “Don’t worry about me. I can find one myself.”
“Yeah, right. You can barely move.” She laughed coldly. “Tell you what, best of luck proving you don’t need others to lean on while I drop this and the children off. You have about half an hour before I return. And when I do, be prepared to show a bit of gratitude and drop the arrogant asshole routine.”
She left again, traipsing down the path, steadily fading into the green haze and thick foliage. Every inch of me wanted to chase after her, back her into a tree, and show her just how thankful I was that she was here. I’d use my fingers and tongue and—
I groaned under my breath as my cock hardened again.
What the hell was my problem? I couldn’t have her like that. And I didn’t have energy to waste on lust. She’d offered to help. That was it. Yes, I couldn’t walk. Boo fucking hoo. If I wanted to show her how grateful I was, then I had to stop being a dick.
Her voice sailed back, snapping with authority. “Conner, Pippa. Come on!”
The kids grabbed the remaining scattered items by their feet and dashed to catch up. Conner looked back. “You coming?”
I grinned, even though I felt like swearing. “Yep. Right behind you.”
“Cool.” Taking his sister’s hand, they vanished.
The second they’d gone, every emotion that I’d spent the last few years running from suffocated me. Hatred, loneliness, regret, and most of all...terror.
I didn’t do well on my own.
But I didn’t do well with others, either.
I wasn’t hardwired right for society, and suddenly, society had thrown me away. I had no one.
No, that wasn’t true.
I had three invaluable people who’d gone from strangers to my entire world.
They were all the company I had.
The only people I could rely on.
My skin itched and the familiar urge to run consumed me.
Come back.
Don’t leave me.
I’m sorry.
.............................
“I’m impressed. You’re still here.”
My head shot up as Estelle returned, minus the kids and whatever supplies she’d had. In her hands rested a large stick. Moving closer, she eyed my leg, slowly dancing her eyes over my crotch, waist, and face.
I couldn’t deny having her eyes on me made me hard.
Did she like what she saw? Did she see the real me? The me I’d chained deep, deep inside? The me that died the day I became a monster?
I flexed my bicep like a moron, hoping to impress. I made an effort to stay in shape—not because of egotistical reasons but because it was a necessity. Working with timber and building on a daily basis demanded strength and stamina.
Not that sculpted muscles will impress her when I can’t bloody walk!
I took a deep breath, doing my best to stay calm. Sitting still, chained to pain and unable to move, hadn’t put me in the best of moods. “I thought you’d forgotten about me.” I wiped away the copious amounts of sweat from my brow. I didn’t relish the thought of moving somewhere where the sun would cook me, but I did crave the ocean breeze.
“It took longer than I thought to find the stick.”
“I told you not to worry about it.”
“And I told you that you had half an hour to turn off the douche-bag agenda and be nice.”
“I’m always nice.”
“Ha!”
We glared at each other. Her chest strained and her breaths came in shallow spurts.
I pointed at her chest. “Instead of trying to find half a tree to tie to my leg, you should’ve strapped your ribs.”
“Don’t worry about me. Worry about yourself.”
“I could say the same about you.”
Another stalemate.
Without the kids, the freedom to speak frankly untied the gag around my vocal cords. I let loose. “Who exactly are you, anyway? You’re hurt—just as much as the rest of us—yet you’ve taken control and put yourself in charge. Who made you—”
“I didn’t want to put myself in charge. Do you think I enjoy this? That I wanted to find myself in a situation where two children lost their parents and now look to me to make it better? If anything, I wish you were—” She snapped her lips together, but her eyes glowed with what she wanted to hurl.
“That I wasn’t such a loser and could take over. Is that what you were going to say?”
She tore her gaze away, balling her hands.
I wanted to curse her. All the questions I needed answers to demanded to be shouted, but I couldn’t do that to her. Not now. She wanted comfort, just like the rest of us. But she wouldn’t find comfort from me because I didn’t know how to offer it. All I knew how to do was screw up an already screwed-up situation.
“Look, I’m sorry.” Rubbing my eyes, I wished I had my glasses so at least something would be right in my world. I hated the fuzzy lines and shadowy colours. I could make out Estelle’s features well enough, but she wasn’t in high definition and it strained.
She didn’t reply.
Unconsciously, I stopped rubbing and fumbled on my lap for non-existent lenses—so used to taking them off and putting them back on without thinking.
Christ, I can’t do anything right.
“Can you see okay without them?”
My head wrenched up. “What?”
She motioned to my face. “Your glasses. I noticed you were wearing them in Los Angles and again in Nadi. I take it they’re not just for show but are legitimately required.”
She’d noticed a simple thing like that? Was that because she was an observant person or because she’d been drawn to me as much as I’d been drawn to her?
Either way, it gave me relief from the edgy agony I’d been wallowing in. I cracked a genuine smile. “They’re not a pompous decoration if that’s what you’re asking. I literally need them to see.”
Her shoulders relaxed a little, but she didn’t return my smile. “Are you blind without them?” Her hand came up with three fingers. “How many fingers am I holding up?”
I chuckled. “Seriously? You’re right there. I can see you.”
“So how many?”
“Five.”
Her face fell. I’d stared at her so much I’d already begun to recognise her quirks and facial features. Her mouth formed a worried ‘o,’ and her eyebrows battled between rising and frowning.
I’d freaked her out.
I laughed harder. “Relax. Three. You were holding three.”
“Oh.”
“I’m not blind, okay? I know I’m a cripple, but at least you don’t have to worry about another disability.”
“I wasn’t thinking that—”
“Yes, you were. And it’s
fine.” Corrosive frustration filled my tone. “I’d be pissed too if I were you. Having to look after a broken patient when there’s so much else to worry about? Dealing with orphans when you don’t know how to keep yourself alive? Hell, if I could walk, I’d be running as fast as I could.”
“I would never run, no matter how bad things get.” Her face darkened. “I’m not a quitter, especially when others are relying on me. And besides, that’s not what I was thinking.”
It was a joke. A bad one, I admitted. But she’d successfully made me feel like even worse scum than I was.
“Doesn’t matter.” I flinched as my leg throbbed with renewed pain. “It’s what most people would be thinking. But I get it. I annoy you and you want nothing to do with me. I can fend for myself, so you don’t have to worry about me, all right? Worry about the damn kids and leave me—”
“Oh, for God’s sake.” Her hands slammed on her hips. “Dammit, you piss me off.”
I froze.
The fire in her eyes, the rosy pink of her cheeks, and the sharp angle of her jaw made me swallow hard. She was beautiful when she was caring and doing her best to reassure, but goddammit, she was exquisite when she was mad.
My heart thundered as she pointed a finger in my face. “Let’s get something clear, right now.”
I couldn’t move. All I could do was stare and do my best not to fall. Fall and fall for this creature who I didn’t know but wanted to. Fall for a stranger who looked at me with scorn and irritation. Fall for the only woman on this godforsaken island.
There was no such thing as love at first sight. But I did believe in lust. And Christ, I lusted.
“I am not the type of person you can swear, be nasty, or act like a jerk to because I won’t put up with it. I’m not like others who will scream at you when you’re being a dick or give you a second chance when you screw up. I’ll just cut you off and act like you’re invisible. I’ll take care of those kids because they need me and I need them to need me to ensure I don’t collapse in despair. But I don’t need you. I don’t need you to antagonise me or get under my skin. I want to help you but only if you’ll help yourself and shut the hell up and be nice for a change.”
Running her fingers through her hair, blonde strands crackled with static as she forced herself to calm down. “I’m sorry. I don’t normally yell.” Her face scrunched up as she hugged her chest. “My ribs hurt and you’re right. I think a couple are broken. But unlike you, I’m not letting rage get the better of me. This is our life now. We’re lucky to be alive. Try acting like you want to survive and we’ll get along fine.”
Part of me wanted to tell her to go away. Because she was right. About everything. And it was about time someone had the balls to tell me to my face that I should be grateful.
This was a fresh start. No one knew me here. I had no dirty track record or deplorable history. She didn’t need to know the type of man I’d been because here I could be someone different.
It was as if a massive boulder suddenly rolled off my back, removing its weight of shame and anger.
I could be better here.
I could be anything I wanted.
Estelle didn’t move, her eyes never leaving mine.
Wincing, I arched my ass off the forest floor and pulled something out of my back pocket. I’d forgotten it was in there until Estelle took the kids to the beach.
I was going to keep them—just in case we needed them at a later date. I’d even been tempted to take them myself (because I was a weak asshole who put himself first). But I wouldn’t hide it. Because right now, this was an olive branch. My first decent thing I’d done for years.
Keeping my fist tight, I held out my hand. “Here. This is for you.”
For a moment, she didn’t move, but then she leaned forward and accepted my gift. The foil packet fell into her palm.
Her eyes widened. “No, I can’t take this.”
“Yes, you can.”
“No, really. I can’t.” She shook her head. “Conner or Pippa should have this. Or you...”
“I’ll manage and the other two will be okay.”
“But—”
“No buts. If you insist on being there for us—even me after I’ve been a prick to you—the least you can do is take it so you don’t have to care for us and be in so much pain.”
Estelle clutched the single dose of Advil that I’d bought before boarding the plane in Los Angeles. I’d had a headache and bought the two pills just in case it morphed into a migraine. I had a tendency to get those if I got too stressed and leaving the timber farm where I’d finally found peace stressed me to the max.
I smirked. “Not sure how you’ll take them seeing as I don’t have any water. But please, I want you to have them.”
“Is this your way of apologising?”
“I need to apologise?”
That earned me half a smile.
I chuckled. “Call it a do-over. Can we do that? Take the pills...please.”
I fully expected her to refuse. She was the type of person to forgo any benefit to herself and give it to others—I didn’t need to spend a lot of time around her to know that—but she ripped open the foil and placed the two tablets on her tongue.
Throwing her head back, she swallowed them dry.
She must be in serious pain to accept them.
Crumpling the packet into a ball, she wedged it into her jeans pocket and came closer. Holding out her hand, she smiled. “I accept your do-over. Let’s begin again, shall we?”
I tensed as my fingers interlocked with hers. The same spark and tingle of awareness danced on my skin. She was sun and sin and safety all at once.
Her lips parted as heat ignited between us. She tried to hide the fact she felt whatever it was unfurling intensely; it took every effort not to tug her into my lap and hug her. Just touch her. Yes, I wanted to kiss her but not because the old me was selfish and crude. But because this new me wanted to kiss her with gratitude.
Her gaze darkened as we shook hands. “I’m Estelle Evermore. Pleasure to meet you.”
My heart became a dragon, breathing hot fire as she smiled so innocently yet completely seductive.
Did she have any idea what she did to me?
Breaking our handshake, I cleared my throat. “I’m Galloway Oak. Likewise.”
“Should we get the simple bullet points out of the way and then head to the beach?”
“Bullet points?”
“Yes, you know. Age, occupation, future aspirations, that kind of thing.”
My lips twitched. “Shouldn’t we be enquiring what survival skills we bring to the table? This isn’t exactly a first date situation.”
She stiffened.
Way to go, Oak.
I sighed. “Did that come across as rude? If it did, I didn’t mean it to.”
She waved it away. “Don’t worry. You’re right, though. Okay, who are you, Galloway? Give me the abbreviated version so we can get back to Pippa and Conner as friends rather than enemies.”
My gut spasmed at the thought of ever being her enemy. I never wanted her to hate me. Not because we were literally the only man and woman in this place, but because something inside already howled at the thought of never being able to talk to her.
The problem with telling her about myself meant a whole lot of censorship. She didn’t need to know about me. It wasn’t lying; merely self-defence. Besides, I was a better person starting now. None of that crap mattered.
“All you need to know is I find you stunningly attractive and out of anyone in the world to crash land with, I’m glad it was you.”
She stumbled.
I grinned. “I take it I just shocked you.”
“Well...a little.”
“I’ve decided to use a different approach.”
“And what’s that?”
“Brutal honesty.”
She bit her lip.
“I’m sick of hiding.” I shrugged. “Crashing here just reminded me how short life is and I’
m not going to waste another second of it.”
“Okay...but you do understand that I only want to be friends. I’m not exactly on the prowl for a date.”
“Completely understood.” I lowered my brow. “Doesn’t mean I’m willing to stop at just friends, though.”
“You’re impossible.”
“I’ve been called worse.”
“I can’t deal with this right now. We have to get back to the children.”
Clapping my hands together, I said, “Fine. Deeper introductions can wait. Hand me the stick and I’ll see what I can do about fixing my fucked-up ankle.”
She flinched at my curse but didn’t chastise me. I hid my smile. Already we were compromising. She wasn’t comfortable with me...yet. But I had time. If starvation and dehydration didn’t kill us first, of course.
Estelle passed me the stick. Doubt shadowed her face. “I don’t think I can set your break here. The ground is too uneven. I need to get you to the beach.”
I didn’t see the difference, but I let her be in charge. “What do you suggest then?”
“I need to find a way to get you to your feet.” She rubbed her ribcage. “Normally, I would just do my best to haul you upright, but I don’t think I’d be able to withstand my own pain—let alone you living through the torment.”
“Ah well, can’t have everything. Don’t worry about me.”
I had to admit, the very mention of what lay in my future made me sick. Just a simple poke irritated the bone to the point of agony, let alone standing upright.
Regret filled her gaze. “I shouldn’t have had those painkillers. You need them more than me.”
“Stop that.” Temper peppered my voice. “I wanted you to have them. Don’t bring it up again.”
Her fingers fluttered by her side as she deliberated. My jeans hid the break (apart from the nasty cut on my opposite thigh) but couldn’t hide the fact I sweated with pain. The amount of liquid I’d perspired didn’t help my rapidly increasing thirst.
I’d never broken a limb before. Was the dull throb supposed to be this bad? When would it fade?
It has to fade.
That was the only way I’d be able to survive and ensured I walked off this island—or rather limped off this island.
Estelle murmured, “Wait there.”
“Like I can go anywhere.”
Unseen Messages Page 12