Her words likely didn’t make sense to him as he’d saved her out of his own volition, but that wasn’t what plagued her. Her mind was overcome right now with the death of her mother and how it meant Johanna grew up motherless.
“Will a quick wedding be agreeable to you? I mustn’t let my selfishness affect my sister.”
If she hadn’t been studying his eyes so closely, she would have missed the shadow that passed over them. She stilled, watching his eyes change, and she realized something she had said had affected him.
In the year she had known him, she had thought him impervious. From their first encounter in which he’d forced Louisa and her sister Johanna to exit their carriage in a rainstorm, Louisa had found Sebastian impermeable. He was like the coat of a dog which water simply ran off. Nothing could touch the Beastly Duke, but something she had just said had had an effect on him. She wondered what it was.
“A quick wedding shall be fine. I will speak with Ravenwood about settling the matter.” He appeared to wish to say more, and she remained silent, fascinated by this sudden change in him. “Lady Louisa, I must tell you it’s not your fault. What happened tonight. We are not guilty for the sins of others.”
The words rang in her ears, and she wanted to believe them, but the past had a way of muting the present. It needn’t matter what truths he lay at her feet. There were too many examples in her history to refute them.
But while she knew the words were for her, she couldn’t help but gather a sense that he spoke them for himself as well. She wondered once again what secrets the Beastly Duke could possibly hide.
“But I am guilty in trapping you.” As soon as the words were spoken, she couldn’t help the small laugh that bubbled up. “Lady Louisa Darby traps the Beastly Duke. How absurd.”
Sebastian’s face remained unchanged at her statement, and she held out a hand to touch his sleeve in reassurance. She stopped, her eyes riveted to her hand as it hung suspended between them. Besides their awkward embrace earlier, she’d never touched him, and suddenly, the entire situation seemed ridiculous.
“I’m sorry,” she rushed to say. “It’s just…well, you must admit this situation has gone rather awry, Your Grace.”
“Yes.” He spoke only the single word, and it left her feeling the burn of humiliation.
Could she do nothing to keep her whims at bay?
She cleared her throat. “It grows late. I’m sure you did not plan on such a lengthy evening.”
“No.” Again, only a single word.
She pressed her hands together. “Well then, I guess…”
How did one say good evening to one’s forced betrothed?
“I will bid you good night then.” Sebastian saved her with a neat bow as he turned to the door. He stopped before leaving, though, and turned back to her.
“Sebastian.” She raised an eyebrow in question, and he went on. “You should call me Sebastian. Considering the circumstances, I mean.”
He gave a small gesture to suggest their surroundings, and without another word, he left, leaving her to wonder why she wished he’d kissed her again.
* * *
He should have gone home to bed. It would have been the prudent thing to do.
But he was too agitated for that. He was through the door of his club not twenty minutes later and seated in his preferred chair in front of a crackling fire, whiskey in hand in twenty-two minutes.
Only then would he allow his mind to make its way through all the possible ramifications the events of the night could bring.
He was to be married.
Lady Louisa Darby was a good match by society’s standards. The Ravenwood title was old, there wasn’t so much as a whisper of scandal shadowing any of the sisters, or the duke for that matter, and by all accounts, Louisa would be well trained to manage a ducal household as she had been raised in one.
If only she weren’t so damn ebullient.
He drained the first glass of whiskey and poured the second without taking a sip.
There was the matter of what was to happen after they were wed. The fingers of his right hand struck out a staccato against the arm of his chair, and he resolutely tucked his fingers against his palm to get them to stop.
He’d avoided marriage for this very reason. Marriage was complicated and messy. It led perfectly sound men to do irrational and stupid things.
Tap. Tap.
He switched the untouched whiskey glass to the other hand, hoping to preoccupy the traitorous fingers.
He was not being overly reactionary to the subject. He had only to remember his father to feel certain he was right. Marriage was no good, and he must formulate a plan to remain unentangled.
The word left a sour taste in his mouth, and he finally took a small sip of his whiskey.
He would remain loyal to Louisa, of course. He was a man of honor after all. But even thinking of what that would entail sent a shiver of trepidation down his spine. Surely he could separate a physical relationship from an emotional one. He was a gentleman, after all. He would do whatever was necessary to see that she bore children and was happy, and he would leave it at that. There was no reason to get his heart involved.
Tap. Tap.
He stared at the fingers of his left hand, a string of curse words silently directed at them as he admitted the truth to himself.
It would be impossible to separate the physical from the emotional when it came to Louisa. He knew that. Hadn’t he spent an inordinate amount of effort on engineering circumstances not to be left alone with her whenever the situation should arise?
And now he was to marry her.
God, he was doomed.
The crackle of the flames pulled his attention, and for just a minute, he let his thoughts slip away from him. For an absurd moment, he wished to speak with his father about it. He’d always gone to his father for counsel, and this was a subject on which he required a great deal of insight. But even as he thought it, he realized what a poor idea that would have been. Even if his father were alive, Sebastian knew the depths of the man’s weaknesses now. Speaking to him of any matter involving the relations between a husband and a wife was not wise.
Once welcomed, memories flooded his mind. He was usually so careful not to think of it, but with the hypnotic pull of the fire, the whiskey spreading through him with its delirious allure, he couldn’t help it.
Unbidden came the image of his father when he had finally reached him that night. The blood soaking the carpet. The pistol lying spent on the floor like a forgotten toy, misplaced by a careless child. The sound of footsteps behind him as—
He snapped out of his reverie more effectively than if someone had tossed a bucket of icy water on him from just a single thought.
He would need to tell his mother about his impending marriage.
As a rule, he eschewed speaking with the woman. They had never been close, and when his father had died, there was no reason for Sebastian to cobble together what was left of their tattered relationship. However, his father’s demands that Sebastian respect the woman who gave birth to him were too hard to ignore when it came to a topic so life-altering as marriage.
He would need to speak to her, yes, but perhaps, just not right then.
His gaze drifted to his left, unoccupied hand, and he was relieved to see his fingers still and relaxed against the fine leather of the chair. He poked around in his head but the concern that the evening’s events had roused seemed to have settled within him. It would be all right. He had control of the situation. He need only keep himself away from his future wife.
A piece of paper was snapped in front of his face seconds later, and he reared back, his eyes struggling to focus on the note that now lay positioned directly in his sight.
Louisa to wed Waverly.
The script was entirely feminine, and the briefness of the message suggested only one culprit.
“Johanna,” he said before casting his gaze upward to find his best friend hovering over him.
Dax Kane, the Duke of Ashbourne, looked furious.
And rather undressed.
“Where is your cravat? You left home like this?”
“I did not leave home.” Dax pressed the words between gritted teeth. “I was pushed from my home at an unholy hour in an attempt to stop my wife from running here in her nightdress herself.”
“She should really have put on a cloak. It’s rather chilly tonight.”
Dax did not respond but instead took the empty seat beside him.
Sebastian nudged the second, unused glass sitting on the table between them.
“You look like you could use some spirits.”
Dax waved the note. “Is it true?”
“Yes.” Sebastian filled the glass when it became apparent Dax would not. He handed it to his friend who studied him with a wrinkled brow.
“Did you have another question?”
“You’re marrying Louisa.”
Sebastian sipped at his own whiskey. “That’s not a question.”
“Sebastian.”
Dax Kane was Sebastian’s only friend in the world and had been even after Sebastian had tried to constrict his obligations within society after his father’s death. No matter how Sebastian had withdrawn, Dax had followed, and now Sebastian was grateful for that.
“I can’t tell you what occurred. I owe a certain loyalty to Louisa.”
Dax’s expression cleared instantly, his eyes widening with curiosity and concern.
“What occurred? Is Louisa well?”
Sebastian thought of Devlin, sniveling at his feet, and rage poured through his veins involuntarily.
“I assure you her person is well. Circumstances required what you see now.” He indicated the note still clutched in Dax’s hand.
Dax scratched the back of his neck, and Sebastian realized just how quickly his friend must have departed Ashbourne House. His collar was undone as noted by the lack of cravat, his waistcoat was buttoned unevenly, and his coat was a navy blue whereas his pants were more of a midnight, which made Dax appear as though he had had a misstep in a garment shop. At least he wore the correct boot on each of his feet.
“You offered to marry Louisa.”
It was not a question, and Sebastian knew he could not lie to his friend. But his chest tightened as he remembered Louisa’s face when the Duchess of Margate had accused her of nearly ruining Johanna’s chance at making a match. For some reason, it was vitally important to Louisa that no one should find out about what had occurred that evening.
Not even her sisters.
Sebastian tugged at the cuff of his shirt.
“I did offer to marry Louisa, and she agreed to the proposal. Unfortunately, we were interrupted in our private conversation. I believe it was rather upsetting for her.”
Dax didn’t speak. He continued to study Sebastian, and while Sebastian was used to a certain number of quizzical stares, thanks to his reputation, it was another thing entirely to be scrutinized by one’s friend.
But he could not betray Louisa, and so he sat, willing his fingers to remain still.
Dax finally cleared his throat and sank back into the chair, his fingers finding the glass of whiskey Sebastian had poured earlier. The man downed the drink in a single gulp, his gaze intent on the fire.
“You’re going to be my brother-in-law.”
Sebastian almost missed the words as Dax spoke them so softly, but once their meaning set in, a warmth spread unexpectedly through him.
“I suppose I am.”
The two men sat like that for some time. Sebastian quietly refilled his friend’s glass, and they sipped in silence as the fire wove and snapped before them. After what seemed an eternity, Dax turned to him.
“What can I tell Eliza?”
Sebastian was not one to tread regularly in matters involving such delicate nuances as friendship, but he understood how important it was for Dax to return home and assure his wife all was well.
“You must tell her the truth,” Sebastian began. “Louisa and I are to be married.”
“The truth is hardly comforting in these circumstances.”
Sebastian couldn’t help the smirk he cast in his friend’s direction. “The truth being her sister is marrying the Beastly Duke?”
“Eliza married the Jilted Duke, so I hardly see how that should be of concern,” Dax said with a self-deprecating smile.
Sebastian cocked his head in mock concern. “I should think Beastly is a good deal more terrifying than Jilted.”
Dax raised his glass. “Ah, yes, but Jilted would suggest there was something wrong with me. How horrible would it be to find one wed to a rejected specimen?”
“I’m not sure,” Sebastian said as he took a sip of his whiskey. “I shall remember to ask Eliza the next I see her.”
Dax’s laugh was soft, and it tumbled off into the comfortable silence between them.
“Sebastian,” Dax said softly after some time. “Are you sure you wish to be married?”
“No,” Sebastian said automatically, for it was the truth. He had no desire to wed and he turned his attention directly to his friend and admitted as much. “I had no plan to wed at all until I met Louisa.”
There it was. The plain truth of the matter, and a large part of the reason why he did his best to avoid her. If he were to ever step into the chaos of human interaction, it would only be with Lady Louisa Darby.
Dax continued to study him long after his words had faded.
Wanting to reassure his friend, Sebastian lifted his glass as if to emphasize his point. “I grow older every day, Dax. The title requires I wed and produce an heir. I can only stomach the idea if it were to involve Louisa. You can assure Eliza I have the best of intentions when it comes to her sister.”
“The best of intentions. Isn’t that what someone says before they do something catastrophically stupid?”
Sebastian stilled at his friend’s choice of words, but his nerves settled when Dax laughed and setting down his glass, gained his feet.
Dax made a motion to fix his coat and soon realized he wore little more than a cutaway coat and no greatcoat or cloak. He patted his pockets and when he came up empty, Sebastian assumed he’d forgotten gloves as well.
“I believe I have enough to allow Eliza some sleep tonight, but you’d best plan on calling soon. She’ll want to hear it from you.”
Sebastian gave a nod of consent. “I shouldn’t wish her to worry.”
That at least was the most honest thing he had said. Eliza was the absolute best thing that could have happened to his friend, and he was rather sure Eliza felt the same way. He really did wish her not to worry over her sister’s fate. While Sebastian was not inclined to emotional attachment, he was a gentleman and a man of honor. He would see Louisa cared for.
Dax gave a nod as if to bid him good night but stopped after taking only a couple of steps in the direction of the door.
He turned back, a single finger raised as if to clarify a point, a knowing smile on his lips. “Just understand, old friend, I know you don’t give a damn about the title.”
The parting words would haunt Sebastian long after his head hit the pillow that night.
Chapter 3
Louisa thought one should be excited at one’s betrothal ball, but she was nothing but an utter case of nerves.
At any moment, she expected someone to proclaim her the liar she was. Betrothal, really. Wasn’t it more of a trial and this was her punishment?
As long as no one discovered the truth, and Jo was spared.
Unconsciously, she touched her arm where Devlin had grabbed her. As soon as she had scraped her gown off that night, she’d pulled her arm around to see if there was a bruise, but there wasn’t one. Now, two days later, her skin was still unmarked.
She wondered if she’d imagined the whole thing. Perhaps, this was a terrible dream, and any moment now, she’d wake up.
She knew that wouldn’t happen. There was no waking up from this. Perhaps she’d f
eel better once they were safely wed. Tongues couldn’t wag at a properly married couple, could they?
She’d slept little that night and the night after that. She wanted to say it was because of Devlin and what he’d done to her, but that wouldn’t have been true. She hadn’t slept because she couldn’t stop thinking about Sebastian.
The way he had kissed her.
The way he had held her.
She hadn’t known what it could be like between a man and a woman. Until then, her life had been dedicated to ensuring Jo’s happiness, to making her sisters happy. She hadn’t had time to wonder.
Now she wondered too much. She remembered how hard his body was, pressed against hers, how his hands dug into her back as he pulled her closer. Never before had she felt so…cherished.
For the first time, she thought about what her life would be like now. Absurdly, she had always thought she’d live with her sisters, continuing to ensure their happiness. She had always thought she’d be there for Jo, helping her to achieve whatever it was she dreamed.
But now suddenly she was to be wed, and it would be a lie if she said she had no desire to marry Sebastian Fielding. For while she still seethed with having her choice taken away from her by the actions of another being, the idea of marrying Sebastian was not an entirely poor one.
Not now that she knew what it was like to kiss him.
“Do you know I heard it’s a love match?”
Louisa nearly spit out her lemonade as her ears tuned into the whispered voices behind her, her thoughts racing away as if someone had actually heard them.
“Love match? You must have that wrong. Who could possibly love a beast like the Duke of Waverly?”
“Oh no, it’s true. I have it on good authority.”
“And whose authority would that be?”
“Kitty’s companion told my lady’s maid she saw Waverly take Lady Louisa on a ride in the park last week.”
It was all Louisa could do not to turn around and stare. Sebastian had never once called on her, not even to take her for a ride in the park.
The Duke and the Lady Page 3