“And worse.”
He came around to my side of the island and turned my stool so I was facing him, lifting my chin and stroking my cheek. “I was a dick, Lyric. I can’t promise it won’t happen again, but I’m tryin’.”
“Try harder.”
“Okay, Lyric, I’ll try harder.”
He leaned down to kiss me, but I covered his mouth with my fingers. “Why did you ghost me?”
“You know how there’s shit you can’t talk about because of attorney-client privilege?”
“Yes.”
“Well, there’s things I can’t talk about because it’s club business. There’s shit going on right now that made it impossible for me to call, but I wanted to.”
“What kinds of things?”
“I can’t talk about it. It’s club business.”
I smiled. “But you wanted to.”
“I did.”
“Well, bless your heart,” I crooned.
“Lyric—”
“No, Doom. This is all lip service.” I sighed. “Look, I don’t know who you think you’re talking to, but I told you I don’t want a commitment, so I don’t need excuses. But I also will not be spoken to the way you did last week. You’ve apologized, I’ve accepted that apology. It’s all good. But don’t insult my intelligence and lie to me.”
He dragged his hands through his hair. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s been a shit week.”
“At the risk of irritating you more, I know it’s been a shitty week, Doom, because none of the women have seen you.”
“Fuck me.”
“They’re worried about you.”
“So you told them… about us?”
“No!” I rushed to say. “I told you I wouldn’t. You came up naturally in conversation. It was cute, actually, because they kept reminding me who you were when they brought you up. Like, Quin would say, ‘Doom hasn’t slept at the compound all week. Oh, Lyric, Doom is the guy your sister bid on.’ If they had any inkling about us, they didn’t let on.”
He shook his head, looking like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. I reached out and grabbed his vest, tugging him toward me. “Hey, I’ve got your back. So do those women. I don’t know what’s going on with you, and if you don’t want to disclose, I won’t push you, but I’m here if you need me.”
He relaxed a little. “Thanks, Angel.”
“But seriously, don’t lie to me. I’ll end this faster than a knife fight in a phone booth.”
“That’s fair.”
“Willow said something about you disappearing this time every year.”
“Fuckin’ Willow.” He stiffened again and I squeezed his hand.
“Tell me.”
“Jesus,” he whispered. “My wife died.”
“She did?”
He nodded. “With my son.”
I bit back tears. “What happened?”
That’s when his demeanor kind of… well, shut down.
“Drunk driver. I was on shift and got the call. We arrived on scene and the car was engulfed in flames. I got Ezra out, but Jennifer was DOA. Ezra died two days later. That was ten years ago. Tuesday was the anniversary.”
“And it’s why you quit being a firefighter?”
He nodded, but he was stilted. Almost like he wasn’t in his body.
“Hey,” I whispered, reaching up to stroke his face, but he reared back like I’d hit him.
“Fuck!” he bellowed.
He turned to walk away, but I reached for him again. “Wait. Doom, you can’t leave like this. Just take a minute.”
He tried to pull away again, but I held fast.
“Lincoln, I need you to look at me. I’ll let you go, but I’m not letting you leave until I know you’re okay.”
He looked at me, but it took a little while for me to know that he saw me. Once his body unlocked, I relaxed and gave his arm a squeeze. “There you are.”
“Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for.” I smiled. “I’m assuming everyone knows. At the club?”
“No. Doc and Alamo know, so I assume they’ve told their women, but it’s not common knowledge amongst the brothers. I don’t know what the fuck Willow knows, though. She’s like a voodoo witch who can read your soul or some shit just by looking at you.”
I bit back a chuckle. “She’s got that quiet cool thing going for sure.”
“I don’t think Quin knows, though. She keeps tryin’ to set me up with her friends. It got so bad, I had to have Badger shut it down.”
“Did he?”
He shrugged. “Haven’t asked. As long as her harping stops…” He shook his head. “She needs to understand I’ll never have that again. They all need to understand that.”
“What about love? You don’t want that again? More kids?”
“I’m gonna head out,” he said without answering my questions.
I could see he was calmer, so I nodded. “Okay. Thanks for coming by.”
“I’ll text you this week.”
“Sounds good.”
Then he was gone.
* * *
Doom
Saturday night, I headed downstairs, the pig roast in full swing. I got a few surprised looks, but no one said anything as I made my way into the kitchen for a beer.
“Hey, brother,” Alamo said as I pulled open the refrigerator.
“Hey.”
“You gonna hang?”
“Was thinkin’ about it.”
He smiled. “I like that, Doom.”
A feminine gasp had me turning toward Jasmine and I rolled my eyes.
“I’m sorry, who are you?” she joked. “I don’t think we’ve met.”
I chuckled. “Good to see you too, babe.”
She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. I didn’t hug her back, not entirely sure what to do with my arms.
“Just go with it,” Alamo instructed. “Once she locks on, she sticks. You should know that by now.”
“Uncle Doom!” Kinsey, Badger and Quin’s daughter, came bounding into the kitchen. “Will you come play pool with me? Dad’s cheating.”
I chuckled. “Sure.”
Jasmine released me, but reached up and patted my cheek. “Really glad you’re here, honey.”
I nodded and followed Kinsey out to the great room and over to the pool table where Badger and Quin were deep in a game.
“What’s this about you cheatin’, Badger?”
Quin chuckled. “He’s still losing.”
“It’s true,” Badger admitted, leaning down nose-to-nose with his daughter. “But you seem to forget that snitches get stitches.”
“And you seem to forget that I’m club business, so I’m always protected,” Kinsey retorted.
He laughed. “Good girl.”
For the next two hours, I communed with my brothers and their families. I hadn’t felt this light in years and I knew it was because of Lyric. I tried not to put too much stock in that fact, but she was growing on me. Becoming important to me.
There was a freedom in knowing there was no pressure for anything more. No expectations. Maybe that was why I felt like the noose was loosening a little.
As midnight approached, I headed into the kitchen for another beer, walking in as Willow, Quin, and Olivia were putting food away, and overheard part of their conversation.
“Did you invite her tonight?” Willow asked.
“Lyric?” Quin asked.
My ears perked up.
“Yes.”
“I did. But she had a date. Some guy named Wes. I’ll give her more notice next time so she can make it. Oh, hey Doom.”
“Hey,” I said, grabbing a beer and walking out of the room and straight for the bar. I suddenly needed a bottle of tequila to go with my beer.
Fuck.
I snagged the Sauza and headed for my room.
“Doom?” Willow called.
Jesus, shit, fuck balls.
I turned to face her. “Hey, babe.”
She cocked her head. “You okay?”
“Yep.”
“Something changed.”
“Will—”
She stepped closer. “Look, I know you keep your demons shoved deep inside. I’ve seen them,” she whispered. “My heart breaks for you and what you’ve had to carry, but tonight, for a little while, anyway, something was different. And now it’s not.”
I closed my eyes briefly. How the fuck this woman knew how to get to the heart of me freaked me the fuck out.
“I had a dream,” she continued.
I met her eyes and saw that tears were forming.
“Your family—”
“Stop,” I rasped.
She nodded, tears slipping onto her cheeks. “You are loved Doom. Deeply. You’re not alone. Please remember that.”
I turned and rushed up to my room, closing and locking the door behind me in an effort to shut out the world.
* * *
“Vehicle on fire, Louisville Road, all units respond.”
I suited up and followed my crew into the rig, heading to the fire just like I’d done a thousand times before.
Pulling up to the scene, my lieutenant and I made a run for the car, but I was suddenly intercepted and dragged away. “What the fuck?”
“Linc, you need to back off,” Dustin, second lieutenant, ordered.
“What? Why?” I looked up and it hit me. It was Jennifer’s car on fire. “Goddammit.”
I pulled away from Dustin and made a run for the inferno. “Lincoln!”
I tried to pull the door open but it was fused shut. The window was open and Jennifer was groaning quietly. “Baby, I’m here. I’m gonna get you out.”
“Get Ez,” she rasped.
“My kid’s in the back!” I bellowed, and my brothers moved in perfect unison as the flames continued to cover the car.
“Baby, I’ve got you.”
“I love you, Lincoln.”
“I love you, too, Jenny Bean. Stay awake for me. I got you. We’re gettin’ Ezra, okay? We’ve got a party to plan, so I need you to hold on.”
I was forcibly removed from the car, despite my protests.
“You stay there, or I’m gonna chain you to the rig,” Dustin warned. “Let them work.”
They finally got Ezra out and loaded him into an ambulance. I chose to go with him while they continued to get Jennifer out. The fire had been contained, so I was confident she’d be okay.
I was wrong.
They rushed my boy to the burn unit and straight into surgery. I waited a few minutes, and then I went to find out about my wife, but when a doctor approached me, I just knew…
“Mr. Marxx, I’m very sorry. Your wife suffered a massive heart attack from the smoke inhalation. We were unable to save her or the baby.”
“The baby?”
“She was pregnant. You didn’t know?”
I collapsed to my knees…
I sat up with a growl, the bottle of tequila beside me on the bed. I lifted it and threw it against the wall. I let Lyric in, goddammit. What the fuck was wrong with me? I needed to shut this down. I would never allow myself to go through anything like that again.
Ever.
Lyric
Two weeks later…
I’D HAD ANOTHER date with Wes, but Doom had been busy, so I’d been denied some much needed relief. He’d texted and kept me updated this time, though, so he’d kept his promise.
I knew I was going to need to make a decision about next steps with Wes once the boot was off, he’d said as much, but until that happened, he was happy to enjoy my company without sex.
The more I got to know him, the more I liked him, but I honestly didn’t know if he’d be around long-term. He probably wanted a family and I was not the woman to give him one, so I should really cut my losses and move on, but I decided I’d wait until the subject came up.
This was what I was stewing on when my cell phone rang at four o’clock Friday afternoon. “Lyric Morgan.”
“This is an automated courtesy call from Coastal State Prison to inform you that prisoner, 24961, Garrett Smalls has been released…”
I didn’t hear the rest, mostly because I’d dropped my cell phone in shock.
Oh, God. No.
Knowing I couldn’t really put coherent sentences together, I retrieved my phone from the floor and called my sister.
“Hi, LiLi.”
“Garrett,” I panted into the phone.
“Garrett Smalls?”
“Is out.”
“Shit, okay, where are you?”
“At the office.”
“Stay there until I call you back.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“Let Leo know what’s going on, but do not leave.”
“I won’t,” I promised. I hung up and headed down to my boss’s office. His door was open, but I still knocked before walking in.
Leo Walker’s father had started the firm back in the sixties and Leo had taken it over and built it up to be one of the top firms in Savannah.
“Lyric? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Sit down,” Leo directed, and I lowered myself into chair across from his desk.
“Garrett Smalls has been released,” I said. “I just got the call.”
“Wow. Do you know why? He was supposed to be in for life.” He leaned against his desk and crossed his arms.
I shook my head. “No clue.”
“I know this is bad timing, but you should probably hand everything on your plate off to Georgia and get out of town for a few days. At least until you can figure out what’s going on.”
“I have a feeling that’s exactly what my sister’s going to say. She’s looking into it now.”
“Right, well, whatever you need, Lyric. You can work remotely, or not. You’re in no risk of losing your partnership here.”
I smiled. “Thanks, Leo. I really appreciate it. For the moment, Harmony wants me to stick around here, so I’ll keep you posted on future steps.”
“Sounds good.”
I left his office and headed back to mine, wanting to talk to the only person I knew would make me feel truly safe, so I called Doom. I also wanted to let him know about my appointment to get my boot off next week.
“Hey,” he answered.
“Hi. How are you?”
“Good. You need somethin’?” He sounded irritated.
“Um…no. I just wanted to let you know I might be heading out of town for a few days.”
“I’ve been meaning to call you,” he said.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I think we should part ways,” he said.
My stomach dropped and I wrapped my arm around my waist, the sting of tears starting in the back of my nose.
“Lyric, you still there?”
“Oh, um, yes. Sorry.”
“You good?” he asked.
No, my heart is breaking. Why the hell is my heart breaking?
“Yes. That’s fine. No harm, no foul,” I said, trying to sound confident.
“Great. Have a nice life.”
And then he was gone. I closed my office door, leaning against it and bursting into tears. I felt like my soul was being ripped from my body. My stomach roiled and I couldn’t catch my breath. The last time I felt like this was when I found out I’d never have a child of my own.
No. I refused to go through this again.
Luckily, I didn’t have time to wallow, as my sister called back and my life was suddenly set on an unexpected trajectory.
Within thirty-six hours, I was in Portland, safely ensconced in my sister’s home, Booger at Quin’s, and my home locked up and surveilled by local cops.
Jaxon had reached out to his friends in Savannah and they were doing a deep dive into Garrett from there while I was safely on the other side of the country. Once it was safe for me to go back, they’d let me know, but until then, I was on forced vacation.
* * *
Doom
My phone buzzed and
I pulled it out to see Dalton Moore was calling. “Dalt? Are you home?”
Dalton lived part time in Scotland and part time here with his wife, Andi. He was supposedly ex-FBI, but he consulted a lot for them, so I got the impression he did more hours now as a consultant than when he was an agent.
“Yeah, brother, thought you might want to get a beer tonight.”
“Sure, man.”
“Okay, I’ll text you the details.”
“Sounds good.” I hung up and pulled up the invoice spreadsheet I’d been trying to reconcile all afternoon. Without success.
I dragged a hand down my face.
Fuck.
I missed Lyric.
The narcissist in me kind of hoped she’d at least try to reach out once or twice, but she didn’t. When she’d said, ‘no harm, no foul,’ she’d meant it.
I shouldn’t be surprised. I was a temporary fling. She needed me like a fuckin’ hole in the head and she’d probably turn to Wes the CEO going forward.
Fuck, that thought made me crazy.
With my brain unable to focus on anything useful, I decided to close up shop early and head out. This was the beauty of having a non-walk-in clientele… I made my own hours.
“Rabbit, I’m closin’ early. Lock up.”
“Okay, brother. ’Night.”
I passed by the customer service area and the news was on, a familiar face came on the screen and my blood ran cold. I grabbed the remote and turned the sound up.
“Garrett Smalls has been released on a technicality, but according…”
“Fuck,” I snapped, shutting off the TV and making a run for my bike and heading straight for Lyric’s.
It looked like it was locked up tight. I banged on her door, but no answer, so I sent her a text, then made my way to the compound. Jesus, if he was out, I wanted her guarded.
I walked in and froze.
“Why the fuck do you have Lyric’s cat?”
Quin frowned. “How did you know this was Lyric’s cat?”
“Where’s Lyric?”
My phone buzzed before Quin could answer and I pulled it out to see a text from Lyric.
Out of town for a few days. Everything’s fine. Quin’s watching Booger.
“You know Lyric?” Quin asked.
“It looks like Doom knows Lyric very well,” Olivia piped in. “Biblically speaking, even.”
“Jesus,” I hissed.
Quieting the Biker's Rage Page 8