No one had ever worshiped me the way he had.
"Tell me you aren't wet for me," he whispered, teasing my neck with the slightest scrape of his teeth against my weak spot. Even after all these years, he remembered exactly where to touch, where to kiss, where to bite to drive me wild. Even though I'd only had him inside me once, that didn't mean we hadn't done everything else over that year we spent together. "Come on, Angel. Lie to me again."
I didn't speak, didn't think I could put the words together to tell him I wasn't. And he was right, it would have been a lie, anyway. When his fingers brushed against me, I was ashamed of how shockingly wet the gusset of my panties was as it pressed into my skin. Matteo groaned, the sound vibrating against my neck until he pulled back to press his forehead to mine as those skilled fingers toyed with me through the thin barrier of my underwear. "It means nothing," I whispered, closing my eyes to shut out the intimacy of his stare.
"You want me to believe that any of the other assholes you've let touch you ever got you this wet when they've barely touched you? Your body knows me, just like mine knows you," he whispered, removing his hand in favor of pressing his torso to mine so I could feel the steel length of his erection.
"It means nothing," I repeated on a sigh.
"It means everything, Angel," he said, voice soft, nearly reverent as he tugged the dress up and over my head. I wanted to fight him, wanted to keep my arms firmly pressed to my side, but nothing worked. My body had always been putty in his hands.
Nothing had changed.
Big calloused hands stroked down my sides, a tremble in them as they graced over my hips and grabbed my ass. He lifted me, staring up at me with eyes full of emotion I suspected reflected in mine.
My eyes burned with the threat of tears. Because even with all we'd changed—even after he'd hurt me—after twelve years of just existing, Matteo was the only thing that could make me feel.
I loved him. Exactly as he was, no matter what he might have done or become. Matteo would always be the one who owned my heart, and that was exactly why I needed to stop. I needed to get his hands off of me. But somehow, as he carried me to his massive bed, my legs wound around his waist with a mind of their own. As conflicted as my mind might have been, my body had no such qualms as it quivered at the slightest stroke of his thumb against me.
He dropped me to the bed, and I bounced on my back only once before Matteo was sliding between my spread legs and leaning over me. His lips found mine, coaxing me to open for him when he traced my lips with his tongue.
He swallowed my whimper when I opened for him, pressing into me and tangling his tongue with mine. I'd expected him to be savage when he got his way, to take what he wanted, but he was the same as he'd been in high school when he finally got me in bed. He went slowly, taking his time, building my need through nothing but the feel of his skin against mine. I ran my hands over his chest, feeling the tightly corded muscles jump beneath my hands. When I curled my hands around his neck, twirling my fingers into the spot where his hair met the nape of his neck and pulled him closer, only then did he deepen the kiss beyond his initial exploration. Our mouths fused together, and I arched my back when his hand slid up my spine to find the clasp of my bra. He pulled away from me just enough to rip it off me, before he was back where he belonged, nibbling at my bottom lip. He smiled at me, cupping one breast in his hand until I arched further, pressing my flesh into his hand in a silent plea. He kissed the front of my throat, slowly kissing his way down until he hit my collarbone. Pulling back, he stared down at me for only a moment, and I watched those stunning blue eyes darken as he reached out his other hand to toy with my other breast. He pinched the nipples, worshiping the flesh while he stared at it like he couldn't believe he had his hands on me.
"Teo," I whispered, and I knew my voice conveyed every bit of my need when he growled at me. His hips slid further down the bed, and I immediately missed the press of him against me. Until he lowered his mouth to one of my breasts, sucking the peak inside and ravishing it with his tongue while he enveloped it in warmth. When he pulled away, the cool air of the room was a sharp contrast, making me writhe when he repeated the action to the other. "Please," I begged, and I immediately had a moment of hatred for myself.
He sensed it, erasing the logic when his lips kissed down over my stomach. His tongue found that spot, right in the hollow of my hip where I instantly squirmed beneath him. He sucked the flesh into his mouth, nipping and torturing it until I knew he'd leave a mark. Fingers grasped my underwear, and he knelt up and pressed my legs up so he could strip them off my legs. As soon as he released my legs, his mouth was between them. "Oh my God," I whispered, my legs thudding to the bed around him, and I stared down at his head as he worked me over.
Matteo didn't lick a woman's pussy because he felt obligated, or at the very least not mine. I might have argued he enjoyed it more than I did if he wasn't so damn good at it.
That talented tongue explored every part of me, thrusting in and out until I whimpered. When he turned his attention to my clit, it was so he could slide a finger inside me. I clenched around him on a cry, feeling the way he moaned in response vibrate through me. He withdrew that finger, only to add a second and curl them to stroke that spot inside me that made me quiver.
"Teo," I whimpered, and the sound of his name seemed to push him over the edge. He wrapped his lips around the bundle of nerves at the apex of my thigh, sucking gently. My legs tightened around his head; my hand buried in his hair to hold him exactly where I wanted him as I shattered in a blinding orgasm that stole my ability to function.
I laid there, panting and trying to regain my ability to move. When I opened my eyes, it was to Matteo shoving his own underwear down his legs and kicking them off. He pulled his fingers free of me and spread my legs wide from where they'd wrapped around his head. Sliding up my body, his hips lined up with mine so he could grind his length against my wet core. His lips found mine in a bruising, claiming kiss that seemed even more primal because he tasted like me. He reached down, sliding himself through my wet and notching his head at my entrance. Pulling away from my lips, he groaned, "Tell me you're mine."
Still recovering from my orgasm, I nodded in a daze.
"Words, Angel. Give me the words."
"Yours," I murmured, cupping his cheek with a delirious smile and tugging him down to kiss him again. He slid inside me slowly, filling me until there wasn't a single inch that couldn't feel him.
"Fuck," he groaned against my mouth. He reached down, wrapping my legs around his hips. Our foreheads pressed together; our mouths not quite touching as he started to move inside me. Even without his lips on mine, I could taste him, taste me in his breath on my face. One of his hands grabbed mine, our fingers intertwining while he wrapped his other under my shoulder to hold me where he wanted me. He slid in and out in slow, hard thrusts.
Matteo didn't fuck me; he'd never fucked me.
He made love to me, eyes on mine the entire time. There was no doubt who was inside me. No doubt about who owned me in that moment.
Matteo was all around me, an extension of myself.
The other half of me.
Tears stung my eyes again, and I buried my head in his shoulder to try to hide them.
He cupped my cheek, pulling me so he could see me. His face twisted in pain. "I'm here now," he murmured in what seemed to be a reassuring voice.
But it was just another reminder.
He was here now, but there would come another day when he wasn't. Another day when he broke me and tossed me aside.
I smiled at him and nodded, determined to guard my heart from everything my body seemed incapable of denying.
I loved Matteo, exactly as he was.
But he'd never be mine.
Seeming to sense my growing distance, Matteo reached between us, pressing fingers to my clit to bring me back to the place where I focused on the sensations between us. I moaned, not even trying to resist what he offered me. Tossing my he
ad back, I came on another cry, clenching around him like my life depended on keeping him inside me.
Above me, Matteo groaned, sinking teeth into my shoulder as he flooded me with heat. We lay there for a few moments, neither one of us moving to disconnect. Because who knew what would happen when we did, and reality came crashing down.
Eventually, he had no choice but to pull free of me, and the spill of fluid that followed made me glance down my body in horror. "You didn't wear a condom," I whispered. I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid. I'd just trusted that a man like Matteo would be smart enough to wrap it up.
"No," he said simply, not looking concerned in the slightest as he stood and strode for the bathroom. I laid there, feeling beyond lost until he returned.
Using a wet rag, he cleaned between my legs—his eyes fixated on the action. "What is wrong with you?" I whispered. "Why wouldn't you put on a condom?"
He looked at me, momentarily surprised, as if I was an idiot for expecting he'd wear one. "Nothing between us. Ever," he grunted, tossing the rag to the side of the room. "I'm clean. I know you are." I clenched my eyes shut, hoping he wasn't lying. Being on the pill, I shouldn't have had anything to worry about if he was honestly clean. "Really, Ivory. You're the only one I've ever had without a condom. You're safe. I would never risk you like that." I nodded blankly and stood. "Where are you going?"
"Bathroom," I said, and only partially because I needed a moment to myself. As oddly sweet as it was for him to clean me, I couldn't not use the bathroom after sex.
It was a convenient excuse to go hate myself in private.
Twelve
Matteo
It took Ivory too long to turn her brain off and settle into sleep. I could tell because she was still. I'd only spent one night with the woman, but there was no doubt in my mind that the way she thrashed in her sleep was a common occurrence. Even in sleep, she'd seemed relieved when my body pressed hers into the bed, holding her still. That beautiful face of hers calmed from the stressed, tense state it had been in when I'd entered her room.
Given how peacefully she slept with my weight on her, I was hesitant to leave her, but I needed to get her phone in case there'd been an emergency while we'd had our date, and the sun was already rising over the horizon. I hadn't bothered with the curtains, usually I was up before the sun. I removed myself from Ivory's body, silently hoping that her peaceful sleep would continue even without me. One day, I would understand the cause, but I knew better than to push too hard, too fast.
My Angel was stubborn.
And for whatever goddamn reason, I found that sexy as Hell.
I tugged the curtains closed quietly, slipping into my boxer briefs and stepping out of my bedroom. Making my way downstairs, I headed for my office. I'd put her phone on the nightstand before I slipped into the shower. I knew having it would comfort her, delude her into thinking it offered her any protection from me.
The truth was, I could do whatever I wanted to Ivory, and there wasn't a person on this Earth who would dare to stop me. Her endless bag of shit sat on my desk, and a quick glance confirmed that her phone wasn't sitting next to it conveniently. I had no choice but to dig into the monstrosity. It was a first for me, but I'd heard horror stories of what men found in their women's purses.
As soon as I opened it, I realized it wasn't on top of the pile of shit.
That would be too easy.
Rummaging through, my hand grasped a medicine packet. My heart leapt into my throat. Her file had shown no illnesses, so I tugged it out with growing horror. I should have been relieved to see the birth control. From any other woman, I'd demand it. But knowing that Ivory was protected from pregnancy didn't fill me with any relief.
A pregnancy was one more way to ensure that she was mine, completely.
In a way that no one would ever have with her.
I lifted my phone, snapping a picture of the front and the back of the packet before replacing it in her purse. It didn't matter that it burned me to do it. When I found her phone, I turned and went back to my sleeping woman, suddenly determined to experience my first morning sex ever.
Thirteen
Ivory
I'd been in a daze all morning. After Matteo had woken me up with his mouth between my legs, he fucked me until all I'd wanted to do was curl back up in his bed and sleep for the rest of the day. With a sexy as hell chuckle, he reminded me that I probably had work to do. Though he made it clear he didn't object to me staying in his bed all day.
I wanted to slap myself. I'd let him touch me, let him have me again, let him finish inside me without a condom. I didn't understand what it was about Matteo that turned me into an incoherent mess who couldn't string together two letters to say 'no.'
I was so distracted that I'd had to turn the stove off and walk away, because I would get nothing pretty enough to photograph unless I found an outlet first. I'd taken to cuddling with Smaug, running my finger over his scales and watching with amusement as he closed his eyes in contentment. He really was the weirdest, most affectionate lizard I'd ever seen. While I'd never really thought of myself as a reptile person, I melted the second I saw him at the pet store and brought him home.
Even if he ate mealworms and crickets.
Blech.
The knock on the door seemed like a welcome reprieve, even as I wondered who would drop by. Duke was pissed that I'd gone out with Matteo again and not answered my phone for nearly twelve hours, and I couldn't keep bothering Sadie with my emergencies while she was working at the gym. So, I hadn't told her about my sleepover yet.
The courier standing on my front porch wasn't someone I'd ever received deliveries from before, and I squinted my eyes at him in the bright sun. "Can I help you?"
"Miss Torres?" he asked, and I nodded. "Sign here."
I took the clipboard, scrawling my signature quickly and then accepted the small box. Carrying it over to my trusty island, I shrugged at Smaug's look of curiosity as he peered down at the box. With a sigh, I peeled back the gold wrapping paper.
A note rested on top, and I picked it up, reading the handwritten words with growing horror.
It reminded me of you.
Exquisite.
Adrian
His phone number completed the note that I set to the side like it was diseased.
It probably was.
My trembling fingers lifted the white gold necklace out of the gift box. I may not have known much about jewelry, but I knew the stones in that necklace were diamonds. Fifteen of them in a Y shape that would dangle between my breasts.
I swallowed nervously, dropping the necklace back into the box and then wincing. That thing probably cost more than my car. The note followed, before I folded the box back up as best as I could.
Even if I'd been interested, I had no use for jewelry like that. But I wasn't even remotely interested in a man that would corner me in a bathroom and terrify me.
Picking up the box, I strutted my way outside to where Scar sat on guard duty in his car. He rolled down the window, looking on edge when he took in my bare feet. "You should go inside, Ms. Torres. It's cold."
I dropped the box in his lap. "I don't want this. Might as well make yourself useful if you must stalk me."
I turned and went back for my door. "Shit," he hissed, and I glanced back to see him already calling someone on his phone.
It didn't take a genius to guess who it might be.
Fourteen
Matteo
I felt like my bones would burst free from the confines of my skin. Rattled in a way I'd never been, pissed in a way I couldn't recall ever experiencing. He'd touched my woman, and when I'd warned him, I meant business where she was concerned, he'd sent my woman a fucking gift.
As soon as I parked the Aston in Ivory's driveway, I shoved my door open. It felt like I should have run to where Scar stood guard on her porch, but my steps were careful, controlled. If I didn't contain the monster who was out for blood, I'd frighten Ivory beyond what a gift fro
m Adrian must have already done. As soon as I was on the porch, Scar pulled the small jewelry box from his suit pocket, his jaw clenched tight and his nostrils flaring.
On anyone else, the display of anger over Ivory might have made me feel territorial, but I knew Scar. I knew him well enough to know that the man was trustworthy, and his interest in Ivory was purely related to his dedication to me and my family. He'd been nothing but a street rat when we'd taken him in, a little pickpocket who'd been abused in every way a man could imagine—just another victim of the failed system that let kids like him fall through the cracks every day. I took them in, gave them a purpose.
Even if it was one that the U.S. Government didn't agree with.
While I wouldn't say my crimes were without victims, I did my best to keep the innocent out of it.
The note crumpled in my hand as I read it and stared down at the necklace in the box. I hadn't even given my woman jewelry yet, and this fucker thought he could buy her affection with a predictable gift. I dropped the crumpled note back in the box, turning to Scar where he stared down at me. I nodded, and he pocketed it. "Keep it. Consider it your bonus for making sure he doesn't get near her."
"Yes, Boss," Scar smirked, and I knew the man was thinking how much it would piss Adrian off to line my man's pockets.
"She's permanent. Got any objections to being her detail long-term?" I asked, and his eyebrows raised.
"Permanent like—"
"Like a ring is being custom made at this very moment, and she'll have my kid as soon as I can swing it."
He chuckled, a rare sound for the more stoic man. "She know that?"
"Not yet," I shrugged, because Ivory's opinion on the matter was inconsequential. "Let's go."
I opened the door, not even surprised when I found it unlocked. I didn't suppose Ivory thought there was much point when I'd just break in as soon as I got there and she had her own personal security, but I added it to the list of conversations we needed to have.
Bloodied Hands: A Dark Mafia Romance (Bellandi Crime Syndicate Book 1) Page 11