by Lily White
You can’t hold on to a shadow. They exist in places where light can’t touch. In their world, nothing good exists, just the failures of modern society. Greed, lust, money, power.
I’m not sure they can ever truly love.
“What is it like? Do you open your eyes? Do you see the room? The person who’s in it? What do you see?”
Oddly, I do see those things. I’m aware of them. But my mind, it’s hazy. Like a dream you remember when you wake up that’s missing parts, fuzzy around the edges.
Sometimes I see myself lying down on my bed or wherever I happen to be sleeping. I stand above myself looking down. I know I’m asleep. Know that my mind is conjuring images, but it feels real. Like I’ve stepped out of my skin and exist in a parallel universe.
Like now.
“You were doing so well for a while there.”
I spin at the familiar voice, a slow turn that brings my bedroom into sharper focus. There, in the corner near the window, a shadow lingers.
“What do you mean?”
Ari steps out, his grey eyes looking me over before lifting to mine. My heart can’t take it. I can smell him, that dark, forbidden scent that I’ve always loved.
He doesn’t approach me, just stands there with his hands tucked in his pockets. It’s a stance I’ve seen him take a thousand times.
His broad shoulders roll back, and he fills the space around him. It’s hard to breathe when he’s around because you feel so small in comparison.
All male, this man. Strong. Controlled. Proud. A million times larger than most people can ever hope to be.
I know I love him. And that’s what makes him dangerous. The hold he has on my heart, the pain I feel from losing him. It’s worse than anything I’ve gone through before.
He’s the worst danger of all. Not the type that threatens to take my life, but the kind that snuck up behind me, made me feel, made me live again, all while seducing me to know only him.
How will any other person ever compare?
“You’re paying attention to your surroundings for once. You finally learned to do that.”
It feels so real, this moment. But it’s only a dreamscape, I know that. Clocks don’t work right and sounds echo, movement is slow and disjointed, and I feel weightless. The room isn’t quite clear, as if fog clings to the ceiling, the floors, the walls.
His lips tug at the corners.
“You almost caught me once or twice.”
His expression softens a second later. “But you weren’t paying attention this time.”
“I was thinking about you,” I admit while lifting my hand to touch the back of my head. It’s pounding from where I was struck, and Ari’s eyes flash with heated anger.
“It’ll hurt when you wake up.”
“Not as much as it’s hurt for the past six months. Nothing can hurt like that.”
Another step toward me, his eyes hesitant, but still laser focused. I close the distance for him, throw my arms around him and melt against the heat of his skin, the steel of his strong frame.
Slowly, his arms wrap around me in return, his cheek pressed against the top of my head.
“You should have moved on.”
My eyes close, heart hammering like a drum. It feels so real, like he’s here holding me.
“I tried.”
God, it hurts.
“You left me alone.”
“I had to. You needed to rebuild yourself, baby bird, find your own wings without clinging on to someone else. I told you it would happen, you just never listen.”
Actually, I do listen. Regardless of what he thinks. I just didn’t want to believe he would go.
“You said you would protect me. But Grant got me anyway.”
Ari’s arms move, his hands gripping my shoulders. Lifting my head, I lock my eyes with his, see a flame of cold rage behind them.
“He won’t get the chance to do it again.”
Ice coats my spine at the lethal edge to his deep voice.
“Lie down and go back to sleep, Adeline.”
Tears well in my eyes. “I’m sleeping now. I don’t want to let go. I don’t want to wake up.”
Directing me to the bed, Ari picks me up and lays me down, his hand brushing over my hair as he stares down at me.
“I forgive you,” I say, my voice broken by the pain I’m holding back.
His lips press softly against my forehead, a tender kiss, the goodbye we didn’t have the night I made him leave.
“You shouldn’t.”
“I like doing things I shouldn’t.”
Soft laughter, a begrudging sigh, his thumb sweeping softly down the line of my jaw. “You’ve told me before, and trust me, I know.”
Ari moves to step away, but desperation shoots my hand out, my fingers fisting his pants, refusing to let go.
“You used to ask me what I see when I sleep.”
Turning enough to look down at me, he says nothing.
“I see you, Ari. I always have.”
His hand covers mine, tugs it from where I hold onto him. “It’ll hurt when you wake up. But you’ll survive it. You’ve always been a fighter.”
He’s gone after that, the room empty, my heart shattering apart.
I slip into the oblivion only he can give me, my thoughts whispering it’s just a dream.
Sometimes I wonder if that’s really all it is.
Ari
Fucking hell, I hate the cold. Mostly when it’s wet, the chill sinking into my bones, freezing them so thoroughly that it’s impossible to move without pain creeping across every muscle, stretching the tendons until they’re ready to snap.
Shouldering the strap of my bag, I walk briskly along a dirt path, the trees above my head doing fuck all to block the drizzle of sleet that will only get worse as the storm moves in.
Despite how I hate it, I couldn’t have asked for better weather. It’s just one more barrier preventing anybody from stumbling onto a scene that I’ve been looking forward to for the past six months.
The cabin door creaks as I let myself in. A vacation spot rich assholes use to reacquaint themselves with nature, it’s secluded and silent in a stretch of woods an hour outside of city limits.
I couldn’t have picked a better place myself, but thankfully I didn’t have to. When the paper trail is followed, it won’t be my door the police are knocking on.
A soft glow draws my eyes to a room off the main hallway. Following it, I survey the room as I step in, my voice a cold fury as I ask, “What part of don’t let him damage a hair on her head did you not understand?”
Brown eyes tip up to mine, a brow cocking arrogantly.
“He moved faster than I expected. It all worked out, though. The little monster is fine, and we have what we want.”
I glare at Lincoln, resisting the urge to knock his ass out for letting Adeline get hurt.
“I gave you one job. One.”
He grumbles, his eyes sliding left to stare at the other asshole in the room.
“You can waste your time fighting me, or you can do what we came here to do. After the amount of time we’ve waited, I assume you’d like to get started.”
The strap of my bag slips from my shoulder when I drop the heavy weight to the floor, my gaze sliding to Grant Cabot where he slumps forward in his seat, his hands and ankles tied, his body bound to the chair.
The son of a bitch has a world of pain coming, not only for what he’s done to Adeline, both physically and mentally, but for making me wait as long as he has.
I’m a patient man - to a point - but this particular piece of shit has been playing games that bought him far too much time.
We’ve known he was planning something. A man like Grant Cabot doesn’t sit back and take public embarrassment lightly.
He handled it well, surprisingly. Turning the tables on Adeline and the elusive Harrison Nash put me in a position where I had to cover my bases quickly, pick up and muddy any trails that could lead to my true identity.
<
br /> Leaving the penthouse had been the first step, just in case Adeline broke when questioned. I didn’t go far, however. Simply moved to another luxury high-rise a few blocks over.
But it was enough that if she did finally give in and reveal what she knows, they would find an empty space that had been leased under an assumed name, the trail for that leading to another foreign country and a fake business setup.
I know you might think I’m a dick for what I did to her when I left, the way I did it. And you can fuck off with that opinion. You don’t know her like I do. You don’t understand that Adeline needed to shatter in order to piece herself back together.
By herself.
Without the crutch of another person.
And the little monster did exactly what I knew she would do. She stitched those wounds, worked through that anger, and came out swinging when the truth of her life had her cornered.
That accomplishment is something she’ll remember her entire life. Something she’ll fall back on when it gets hard again. Something that will always be in the back of her mind when she hits another barrier and has to choose whether to lay down and die, or fight through it to come out stronger on the other side.
It’s something every person eventually has to learn to do alone because, in the end, the only person you have to rely on is yourself.
I don’t care what the fairytales and happily ever afters tell you, this is life, and it’s fucking brutal.
But Adeline survived it.
Without me.
Without anyone.
Still, it didn’t make it easier for me, not with what Grant was doing, not with the way he destroyed her in the public eye while at the same time protecting himself from what I wanted to do.
He’s smart. I’ll give him that.
After Adeline’s return, he boosted his personal security, bought a better system for his house - this one with sound - and hired a team of bodyguards that practically sat at his bedside while he slept and shadowed him everywhere else. Getting to him either at home or during business hours was impossible.
I could still watch, though, because the dumbass never changed his Wi-Fi password. Ilovemoney69. Fuck, I hate this guy.
It’s how I knew he was still trying to hire someone to take out Adeline for him. Unfortunately for him, a warning had spread through the underground that Adeline Kane was under protection. Nobody would take the job. Three million dollars wasn’t enough to cover the risk of ending up six feet below ground.
Grant laid low for a while, gave the impression that he was letting it go. I knew better. Which is why I wasn’t surprised when he started the process of finding a secluded place to take his ex-wife once he got his hands on her.
We weren’t exactly sure when he would choose to strike, and I’ll admit it surprised me he did so tonight. Adeline’s show put her in the public eye. There were plenty of people surrounding her. I thought she’d be safe at least until she got home.
It’s why I let Lincoln tail her for a few hours while I dealt with other things.
It’s why she got hurt before Lincoln could intervene.
Now she’s safe at home where I delivered her.
She talks in her sleep. Full conversations I never told her she has. Freaky and insane, my girl. But she knew I was there tonight, and what she said was enough to break me all over again.
Leaving her the first time hadn’t been easy. Hurting her had destroyed me. Returning to the shadows where I’ve watched from a distance has been a lesson in self-restraint.
I can’t count how many times I almost lost the ability to stay away. To hide. To watch without claiming the woman that has always been mine.
But I held firm, clenched my teeth, fisted my hands and remained out of view, even when she chased after the wrong person in Black Orchid, even after seeing the pain in her expression when it turned out to be the wrong man.
I did everything for her.
Protected her.
Loved her.
Gave up what I wanted so that she could find herself again in the way that was best for her.
And now it’s time to kill her ex-husband.
Then again, I always knew this would be the fun part. His death is the prize at the bottom of the cereal box, the reward for everything I’ve done over the last seven years.
Crouching down in front of Grant’s slumped body, I tap his cheek.
“Wake up, sweetheart. You have no idea how much I’ve looked forward to meeting again. It feels like Christmas.”
Grant groans as he blinks his eyes open, his green gaze unfocused, his expression twisting in pain from the beating Lincoln already gave him for touching our girl.
Blood trickles down the side of his head, his left cheekbone broken if the swelling has anything to say for it. His ugly mug will be pulp by the time I’m done.
“Grant, seriously, shake it off, and wake the fuck up. We’ve got work to do. It’s no fun if you’re asleep for it.”
Shaking his head, he grimaces, his eyes meeting mine and narrowing with recognition. I smile in response.
“Looks like Adeline’s precious boyfriend can save her this time.”
He sits up straighter in his chair as I push to my feet, his stare sliding between Lincoln and me before he begins thrashing against the rope holding him in place. I give him a minute, let him get used to his situation. Eventually, he settles and pins me with a glare.
“Why not just put a bullet in my head and get it over with?”
My lips curl. “That would be far too easy. There are games we need to play first.”
Fear dances behind his eyes before anger slashes red over his cheeks. Ignoring that, I slip my old phone from my pocket and toss it into his lap.
“The first game we’re playing is the one you played against Adeline. There’s a series of texts on that phone I’d like you to read to me.”
Grant bucks his body to launch the phone from his lap, the plastic clattering against the wooden floorboards. My eyes follow it, mouth curling more. It’s impressive he was able to fling it so far.
“You can fuck off. I’m not playing your games.”
I tuck my hands in my pockets and mock him with the tilt of my head. “That’s a shame.”
Turning, I look at Lincoln. “Do you mind helping our friend out?”
After giving me a look that speaks volumes, Lincoln stretches to snatch the phone from the floor, hits the button to turn it on, then thumbs the screen to get to the first text.
“What will it take for me to convince you to leave me alone and stop toying with my fucking life?”
The back of my hand catches Grant in the jaw. His head twists left, the sound of bone breaking, the chair tipping just a bit before righting itself. He rolls his neck over his shoulders and glares up at me, not amused by the love tap I’d given him.
“That’s all you got?” His speech is slurred, but then it is difficult to talk with a broken jaw.
“Oh, don’t worry. We’re just getting started.”
I turn to Lincoln. He rolls his eyes, but scrolls down. With each text he reads from my first conversation with Adeline, I punch Grant again, his lip busted by the third text, the sound of a loose tooth spit on the floor by the fifth. One eye is swollen shut, but he refuses to beg for me to stop.
He must know I won’t.
Lincoln’s rough voice booms through the room.
“The coast is clear. Your husband is as annoying as ever and doesn’t notice you’re gone. I would have noticed. Just so you know.”
Holding Grant in my stare, I grin like the cat who stole his canary. “You must remember that night. I was standing right next to you while seducing your wife. That’s got to sting.”
He spits blood from his mouth, looks up at me. “She was a fucking whore-“
His chair tips backwards when I punch him, blood bursting from his nose. Grabbing him by the hair, I right him again, then turn to Lincoln, waiting for the next text to be read.
Brown eyes m
eet mine. Clearly he isn’t amused. “You seriously want me to read this? She’s like my little sister.”
A shrug of my shoulder. “It’s the best one. Plus, I was standing right next to him when I sent it. You can’t possibly know how fun that was.”
Cursing under his breath, Lincoln reads the text.
“He’s right here. I’m actually trying to imagine what you would look like on your knees, naked, with your hands tied behind your back while I fuck your mouth. I bet you’d be beautiful. You’ll choke at first, but that’s okay. Eventually you’ll get the hang of it.”
My eyes slide back to Grant. “Just so you know, she did look beautiful with my cock in her mouth. It took her a little bit to adjust to the size, but that’s to be expected after the disappointment you had to offer.”
His chair tips left when I punch him again. Before righting him, I crouch down and say, “I fucked her against a wall that night when you were only feet away. Your sister almost caught us. When I shook your hand goodbye, I had your wife’s panties in my pocket and her come still on my hand. She was never yours, Grant. You were simply a placeholder.”
“Are we done yet?” Lincoln asks.
Righting Grant’s chair with my hand fisted in his hair, I stare down at the piece of shit.
“With that part, yes. That was for what you did to Adeline. The rest is all for me.”
I cross the room to crouch at my bag, unzip it and pull out the sledgehammer that made it so heavy. Normally, I’m not this messy with my kills, but the bastard has it coming.
Grant’s one good eye widens when I spin back, piss dribbling down his leg that puddles near his feet. I glance down at it, cock a brow and look back at his face.
“For every time you hurt her. For every time you raped her. For every insult, every snap of your fingers in her face, for the control you took over her life, I’ve added another bone to break. You won’t survive this, Grant. But you will feel every fucking second of it.”
One swing and his left shin shatters. He screams like a stuck pig, tears finally leaking from his eyes.
“No! Stop!”
I swing again, his right shin shatters. Another two swings and his feet are crushed. Two more and his femurs snap apart. His arms are next, his hands and fingers. Both fucking shoulders, the violence of the swings knocking his chair to the floor.